Path of Valor 4
A/N: Holy cocksickles, this is now about the combined length of all my previous stories combined.
Combined. Combined Combined Combined. Combigiggty -biggity-bindbind.
Ah, fuck them anyway. At least Greil was civil about it, giving me a reprimand about not following orders, and how if more than three guys had shown up I'd have had a lance shoved up my ass. Soren was also rather justified in telling me how I could have killed myself, because if I hadn't memorized the process for retrieving a soul she'd be totally right.
But Rhys, I hope that dastard gets a rusty arrow shot right up his rectum. After Soren and Greil had their turns, Rhys came up to bitch about how I was, 'defiling the creations of the goddess,'. Screw you and your fucking goddess, she doesn't give two shits anyway. I know, I've seen her. Technically.
From what Dan heard after talking to Boyd and the others, the usual punishment was cleanup, then confinement to my quarters. Considering I'd be more inclined to animate workers to do the cleanup for me, Greil decided I should go scout ahead of the evacuation path. Since my beheading of their battalion belittled their efforts to...bapprehend the princess, plus the ass kicking that Dan told me Greil and Ike gave them that all but shut down their operations here, we had a bit of spare time before we strictly needed to leave.
In what little reading of the book I could do before getting sent out again, it said that times of great emotion would be a good time to meditate and hone arcane skills. Meditation would do different things depending on what skills you wanted to hone. For Necromancy, it advised practicing the act of going to the spirit realm so that when you had to do it for real, you could do it faster. Seems legit to me.
Deciding to leave the book there because I'm stubborn, I grab my emergency daggers and head off. Waiting for me at the gate of the compound was everybody's favorite axeman, and also Boyd. Looks like it'll just be me and the peanut gallery out there.
Dan doesn't look like he gives a fuck, but Boyd seems a bit agitated. Even from here, I can hear him mutter something under his breath, "Why do I have to babysit the newbies?"
Dan helpfully tripped him when I pushed him back with a bit of arcane force. Putting on a smug grin, I walk over and look down at him. "Problem?"
Boyd grumbles as Dan helps him to his feet. "Problem? I ain't even mad." he said bitterly.
With that minor bit of trolling behind us, we set out down the trail in earnest.
It took me about zero seconds in the forest to become bored as hell. And that's a conservative number, let me tell you. It's like I have ADHD, but I'm inside the plot of a favorite game of mine so shut up, I have more important things to think about, stupid.
While I was mentally breaking the forth wall, Boyd was busy sharing my sentiments on our situation as loudly as he could. "Arghh, I'm so bored!" He yelled at the sky. The sky didn't respond, but if it did, it probably would've just rained on him.
Daniel, who apparently loves taking forest strolls or something, politely told him to shut the fuck up, since our mission was to make sure no one was here. Which would mean we shouldn't be attracting people here by screaming into the sky. This contrite warning put have turned his brain on, because he suddenly piped up.
"Oh yeah, by the way, we're supposed to go meet her right around now. We should probably go do that now." Boyd remarked insightfully, illustrating exactly what was going to happen.
Or at least that's what he must've thought he did, because my questioning in the form of, 'What 'chu talkin 'bout, Willis?" was met with a confused stare.
"Uhh, Boss said you already knew we were gonna meet this girl." Boyd stated awkwardly.
Before I go off about his presumptuous tendencies, I think about what it means if Greil assumed I knew we were doing something. Did he think this was all in the game too?
Or he forgot. Though I'm betting on the former. Better odds, ya'know?
I mumble an faux-embarassed affirmation before taking Dan to the side of the road and calmly ask him, "WHAT THE FUCK IS GONG ON?"
He chuckles at the sudden swear and responds with, "We're walking down a road, going to meet up with a presumably hot chick."
I frown, "Yeah, I got that part. What about the part about Greil not telling us? Dude, he thinks this is part of the game! What if it is, and we've thrown the game out of our control?"
In hindsight, the slap on the face was probably justified. "Dude, relax. We're meeting some girl, not going to assassinate Ashnard. They probably just didn't put this into the game because it wasn't interesting."
Oh. Yeah. That makes sense.
As we continue walking, my thoughts turn to the girls. For those of you not keeping track at home, I've set myself up to support with Soren, Elincia and Mist. Well, not really Mist, but if Boyd dies like he always does whenever Me or Dan play this game, she'll be up in the air anyway.
Remembering the birth month affinities from FE7, I know that both me and Soren are Dark-types. Elincia should be Heaven like Daniel, and Mist is...well, fuck it. Those were stat boosts anyway, so I'm not sure they apply here.
In the midst of trying to figure out exactly what Heaven's support bonuses were, I came to a realization. Considering all the backstory up to this point, Soren and Ike probably have an A rank support right now.
MOTHERFU-
So, after dropping that bomb on my stupid, stupid self, I begin planning how to break up Ike and Soren. Then stop.
What the hell is wrong with me? It's like I never left high school. I'm doing the exact same thing I was there, except here I'm a Necromancer and have less homework. Should I really be going after a girl by trying to demolish all her other possible suitors.
Come to think of it, that sounds mighty dickish. Even for me.
Eventually, Boyd calls for a quick break, so I at least can get some meditation in.
And boy do I.
After sitting down cross legged, I try to concentrate. No dice. Apparently you still need to chant even if you meditate, it must get the juices flowing or something. I stand up, and begin pacing.
Industrialization has...crippled the globe.
Nature has failed, as technology spread.
As I continue with in-tune chanting, my mind again turns to Soren. How exactly can I get her, short of killing Ike?
And its my job...
To steal, and rob...
Or could I beat Ike to the punch, romantically? After all, they appear to be just friends so far...
GRRRAAAAAVVVEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!
Woah, now I'm there. It feels like the force of my shout threw me ten feet in the air. Probably because it did. But whatever, this stuff is an old hat after some of the weirder things I've seen.
You know, like what I'm looking at right now.
Floating right above my chanting self there is a second me. This copy of mine is quite a bit more ghost-like, with red outlines and a mostly translucent body, much different from a usual soul's opaque blue color. Although that's probably what I look like, since I'm the actual soul part.
My red-ringed copy starts at me in a strong voice, "Son I am disappoint." His/My voice is booming, like thunder coming up and raping my ear.
He senses my inevitable confusion, "You're ADAM LARSON! You've made All-State and Honors Choir, have a 3.9 GPA and can raise soldiers from the dead! Stop sitting around whining about how you can't get a girl like some loser! ARE YOU A LOSER?"
"N-no." I stammer out. This is...a rather odd situation.
"I CAN'T FUCKING HEAR YOU, ARE YOU A MOTHERFUCKING LOSER?"
"No!" I say. He, or I or whoever is right. I'm a Necromancer!
"SO YOU'RE GONNA STOP BITCHIN?" I yell at myself.
"Damn right I will. Ain't no motherfucker gonna tell me which girls I can or cannot pick up. Screw Ike, he's got a princess for rebound."
"DAMN RIGHT HE DOES! IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE, TAKE THIS!"
"Wait, what?"
"Just take it." I offer a red glowing sword to me.
Okay, well, what the fuck right? I grab the hilt of the sword, and I feel a pressure inside me. It's like the kind of feeling you get when you know you're in pain, but took painkillers or otherwise don't give a lily-scented fuck. So, really weird.
After a few seconds, the sword broke down into a red mist that began to absorb into my body. It felt...good. Really good. I could feel new power flowing though my very soul. It was like it was madding muscle directly onto my arms.
Right before I thought to question whether or not this was a good idea, the mist is gone. Once the mist was fully absorbed, the red-ringed copy got the fuck out of dodge. Speaking of that, I have a body to get back to. The book warned that if you don't finish up by the time your body is done chanting, you're not getting back into it.
Sliding right back in, I'm pleased to find that this feely-goodyness is still going strong. It continues to be strong once we all begin walking to the meeting point, thankfully.
Oh hey, a town. I kinda knew these existed in Crimea somewhere, but I never really see them in the game. Then again, it's not like this is a huge city in the first place, so I can forgive whoever thought this was too boring to put in. The town was basically a row of cheap market stalls peddling all kinds of trinkets to whomever arrived at the port in town.
While Dan and I were debating over whether or not these Talismans will help us, Boyd ran off somewhere. I honestly didn't care where he went too, especially after some dude rammed into me near the city square. I was about to tell him off, but apparently he skipped the booze this morning and beat me to it.
"Oi, watch where you're going!" He yelled at me in what distinctively sounded like a british accent.
"Ah, piss off. Open your eyes for once, I'm walking here!" I snap back.
He brushes past everybody and grabs me my the scruff of my traveling-magi robe, "Mind who ya talking too, peasant. I'mma official Daein soldier now." Judging by his choice of words, I make a smartass retort.
"Ahh, I'm sorry. An evil rookie is threaten me. Consider me scared shitless." I deadpan. As he adjusts his grip to try and choke me out for my insolence, I deliver a swift kick to his genitalia.
He dropped me right quick after that. Dan showing him the business end of an uppercut knocked him flat on his ass after that. Unfortunately, it seems like his friends have seen us and raised the alarm, and Boyd is still no where in sight. And as much as I like to, I probably shouldn't raise undead minions in the middle of a town of civilians. Looks like we got a fight on our hands.
In a Final Fantasy Tactics kind of way. We got a Crimean Necromancer and Axeman verses a few cannon fodder Daein. While this may seem Sue-ish, the fight was over practically before it began. Daniel, never without a supply of handaxes, had projectiles in the air from the word go. A crushed torso or two later, and the entire crowd was running for their lives. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon.
Until Boyd conveniently appears after the scuffle, naturally. "What the hell was that?" Boyd yelled.
I wave him off, "We got into an altercation with some soldiers. It resolved itself quite nicely, I must say." Dan snickers at that.
Boyd sighs dismissively. "Anyway, here's our new member. Say hello, Mia."
WAIT WHAT
