Balancing Debts - Chapter 3

Special thanks to CanonCanSodoff, Ralph.S, Katdemon1895 and good folks at Seel'vor's House of Fanfiction.

A/N: It's been more than a year since I last worked on this story and almost two years since I last posted. I have an end in mind and mostly written, but getting there has been a challenge. I've also moved house and changed jobs during that time. This story and Good News are on my docket of stories to update.

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.

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It was as if getting rid of Ron also exorcised Hermione's bad memories of her time under the thrall of the life debt. While she had always been well prepared for as long as Harry had known her, Harry now recognized that she had changed. She was now like a whirlwind; endless hours spent on Horcrux research, spell and dueling practice, and in the evenings, when by all rights she should have been exhausted, they spent time discovering what it was like to be engaged. Harry was glad of the change. It was markedly different from how she had been last year or even how she'd been right after Ron had left. Finally, his curiosity got the best of him and he decided to mention it to her.

Hermione looked at him with her soft, beautiful brown eyes and very calmly explained that she was just making up for lost time. Her half smile faltered for a split second, though most people wouldn't have noticed.

Fortunately and unfortunately, Harry isn't like most people. He'd recognized that the topic was uncomfortable for her; noticed her briefly faltering smile, but he didn't know why. Then it struck him like a bolt out of the blue; he realized she hadn't so much changed, but had instead reverted. She was, as he thought more on the matter, becoming who she was as the beginning of fourth year. It was his fault.

Recognizing the beginnings of Harry's self-doubt, Hermione decided to be completely honest with him. After all, he'd asked. "You know I've been through a lot." She said in a quiet voice.

Harry nodded.

"I like to study, but after third year I resolved to never overwork myself that much ever again. You know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men? Well, then fourth year rolled around and the life debt came into affect. I spent so much of my time and mental resources resisting where I could, delaying where necessary, and circumventing when possible…" She gave a weary smile at the expression on his face. "…you really have no idea how difficult you made my life?"

Harry's eyes were huge as he realized the implications what she was saying.

"Every single minute of every hour of every day; three hundred and sixty-five days a year for almost four years, I fought with everything I had and still nearly failed…" she trailed off.

All emotion had drained from Hermione's face, and though her eyes were closed as she tilted her head back and slowly lifted her arms above her head to lazily stretch, Harry imagined that they must appear haunted by the horrifying experience he'd unknowingly forced upon her. Harry felt sick. He physically felt sick at the description. Little wonder she had described it as hell. She had essentially been a prisoner in her own body, but despite all odds and against a seemingly impossible foe, she had persisted; she had won. But at what cost?

He wanted to do something, to take her in his arms and make the pain go away, but he was now scared to touch her. He was a monster, no better than some of the very people who were at this very moment hunting them. How could she stand to even be near him after everything she suffered due to his incompetence let alone wanting to marry him?

Hermione had finished her stretch and was now very intently watching the ongoing reaction of the most important man in her life. She noted the brilliant green eyes that that were longer paying attention to anything external, the pupils of those same eyes that had widened at first and were now tightly narrowed, and last but not least she noted how his normal breathing had changed to short shallow breaths – likely the prelude to hyperventilating. He was most definitely overreacting.

Although his eyes were open, they did not see, as waves of self-doubt crashed upon his fragile ego. A smack to the back of his head brought him out of his stupor of despair and Harry turned to look directly at the most important woman in his life, who was at the same time, the one woman who he had probably hurt the most.

"That's for doubting my husband-to-be."

Then he felt her arms thread beneath his own to wrap snugly around him. Her cheek lay pillowed on his shoulder; her warm breath tickled the back of his neck.

"You know I love you, right?" she asked in a quiet voice.

Harry found himself agreeing before he even realized he had spoken.

She was silent for several breaths. "I forgive you."

"How can you -" Harry started.

"I love you," she stated simply.

"I love you, too." He replied, not missing a beat.

"I – I think I have some anger issues because of the life debt." She said uncertainly." The worry was evident on her forehead, but Harry didn't see nor would he care.

"I love you," he stated simply.

"I love you, too." She replied, also not missing a beat.

"Besides," he began. "I've got anger issues as well thanks to that Meddling Old Bastard." He wrapped his arms possessively around hers, and in a soft voice continued, "And I think I might be a horcrux."

Hermione had tears in her eyes. "I know."

-Flashback-

Harry had finished his occlumency exercises an hour ago and was now waiting in their room for Hermione to return. He'd made some of her favorite soup and set it on a tray by her bedside, but as the soup began to cool, Harry began to worry. She was working harder now than he'd ever seen her (with the exception of third year) but she had never once worked this late since becoming engaged. In fact, she was frequently waiting for him in their bedroom with a smile on her face and little else to welcome him into their bed. Where is she? He wondered.

The weather had been abysmal all day and they had opted to stay dry at the hotel rather than journeying farther afield to practice dueling. In the end of the day, it wasn't such a hardship; they alternated their days either out dueling or in their hotel room researching, practicing occlumency, etc… There were many activities they could perform separately or together that were suitable for indoors (some more fun than others), but he hadn't seen her since lunch and even then it had been very brief. Now, several hours hence, evening had fallen and Hermione was presumably still in the suite's extra bedroom that had quickly been converted into her study. He didn't want to disturb her train of thought, but it was coming to the point where thought he might have to.

There, amongst several marker boards, dusty tomes, and a recently purchased laptop she had been going over all they knew about Tom Marvolo Riddle. She was determined to take nothing from granted now that she had her full faculties available to her. Though she never mentioned exactly why she was re-examining everything they thought they knew, Harry wondered if she might have lost faith in Dumbledore's conclusion. She examined the facts from every possible angle, but it was only after she consulted several non-magical Psychology texts that she realized they had been going about the horcrux hunt the wrong way.

Although she was the first to admit that she was only dabbling in psychology, her theories were compelling. Riddle showed classic symptoms of psychopathic tendencies and, from what she could tell from Harry's recounting of the pensieve memories, there were warning signs even from an early age. He had terrorized other orphans, bullied, and reveled in causing them pain. One of her pet theories she had come up with was that he had developed a case of extreme narcissism, in which he hyper identified with his magical roots while simultaneously discounting his non-magical lineage. Later as a young adult, this egomaniacal obsession with his magical heritage was further exacerbated by his discovery of his connection to Salazar Slytherin, and eventually culminated in his creation of the fanciful persona of Lord Voldemort: Pureblood Supreme.

The creation of his horcruxes, aside from being an abomination against nature, also appeared to have had several effects on Riddle. Ignoring the physical deformations, which eventually caused loss of pigmentation, his nose, and the addition of several snake-like characteristics, the splintering of his soul also seemed to lead to excessive paranoia, violent outbursts of anger, impaired rational thinking, and increasing megalomania. All of these issues on top of his other pre-existing psychological issues where what defined the current self-styled dark lord.

Taking that profile, she mapped out all they knew about the Horcruxes that they had found thus far. Hermione surmised that, assuming that the goal had been seven pieces of soul and that Lucius Malfoy had been entrusted the care of one, then it was likely that one was also in the possession of Bellatrix Lestrange. Both had been his two most trusted lieutenants. As Lestrange had been in Azkaban for nearly 15 years, Hermione quickly concluded Bellatrix's Horcrux must be somewhere other than the Lestrange family ancestral home, which had apparently been destroyed sometime after her incarceration. It took Harry brainstorming with Hermione and getting fixated on the word 'safe' for her to realize that as member of an old pureblood line, she most likely had a Gringotts vault and that it was there that the horcrux likely resided. That left three horcruxes unaccounted for. Assuming Dumbledore was correct and Nagini was now a Horcrux, then that left two yet to be discovered.

Deciding that if Riddle had trusted his two closest Death Eaters to hide his soul shards, but didn't trust them enough to reveal what they really were, then it was unlikely that he would entrust another horcrux to yet another Death Eater. When Harry asked why she thought that, she explained that she thought a mind such as Riddle's would prefer to have a matched set, one male and one female Death Eater guarding his soul pieces. A third Death Eater would ruin the symmetry. Therefore, in Hermione's mind, looking at other Death Eaters as potential horcrux guards was a waste of time. Harry agreed with her assessment.

Cross-referencing the hiding places of all other known Horcruxes yielded a pattern of Tom hiding horcruxes in places of great personal significance. One had been underneath the floorboards of his magical Grandparent's home, and another had been in a cave where he had terrorized his fellow orphans. Hermione was certain that there must be a third location that would fit this same pattern. Before Harry could ask, she answered his unspoken question. Human guardians fit into a dichotomy of male and female – so two guardians. With magical traps and hiding places, there is no such limitation. It was likely to be a multiple of two, a beginning and an end; but could just as easily be three, a beginning, a middle, and an end. She hypothesized that the Gaunt Horcrux represented his origin or beginning, the Cave Horcrux represented his ascendancy to power or the middle, and a third should represent his attainment of power or the end goal but must also be in a location of great personal significance. Again, Harry provided the clue.

In an uncomfortable conversation, Harry and Hermione went over all the discussions Harry had ever had with Dumbledore; Hermione subjected each word and phrase that Dumbledore had used to intense analysis. In the end, it was not something that Dumbledore had said but what Harry had said when he asked the Meddling Old Bastard about the similarities between himself and Riddle. Considering that question triggered something in the back of Hermione's mind, something that squirmed and niggled until she finally mentally filed it away to examine later in greater depth, but there was definitely something worth exploring about that question. Focusing on the supposed similarities between her Harry and the abominable Riddle, she asked Harry to pick three places he would hide horcruxes if he used Riddle's first two locations as examples. The Godric's Hollow cottage and the Cupboard under the stairs in Number 4 Privet Drive seemed to make perfect sense to Hermione, but when Harry suggested Hogwarts as a third location, Hermione nearly slapped herself for not seeing it sooner.

Hogwarts fit the pattern and her psych profile for Riddle perfectly. His belief in himself as the Heir of Slytherin alone would mean that he would almost NEED to use the ancient school as a hiding place. The only problem was that the castle had been in constant use for the past 50 years and had been searched from top to bottom on numerous occasions, which meant it was likely to be somewhere other than the castle proper. That left the Forbidden Forest and Black Lake as possible locations, but after some thought, Hermione judged that though both locations were better than the castle, they where not enclosed or protected enough to fit with the pattern of the cave or underneath the floorboards. That left only the castle and its powerful wards, which Harry seemed to think fit into his profile under egomaniacal and extreme narcissism. They both considered the Chamber of Secrets a valid hiding place, but it was Harry that struck upon the idea of the Room of Requirement as a possible candidate, due to his previous success with a certain potions book. Hermione seemed skeptical that Riddle had ever discovered the room, but Harry pointed out that if the Marauders, a group of highly talented Wizards, did not stumble upon such an amazing secret in 7 whole years but Harry could in only 5, then anything was possible. Hermione begrudgingly agreed. They resolved to check both locations for horcruxes.

By Harry's count, that accounted for everything. The Malfoy and Lestrange horcruxes; the Gaunt, cave, and Hogwarts horcruxes; add Nagini and that makes six. Six horcruxes matched what Dumbledore had predicted, but Hermione had been chewing on her lower lip, as she had stared at the marker board, and that usually meant she was trying to figure something complicated out. When Harry asked her what was on her mind, she looked confusedly at the board for several seconds and then turned her gaze towards him. Hermione said she wasn't sure yet, but there was something about the timing of the creation of the last few horcruxes that bothered her. She couldn't explain why, but something seemed off. She planned to consider it more at a later date, but for the moment, she wanted to spend some quality time with her fiancé. She ended up leading him out of her study and into their bedroom. She hadn't had time to re-examine her horcrux dilemma until today, but she had been alone in her study for hours.

Knocking lightly on the door to Hermione's study, he waited a few moments and then opened the door. Hermione was sleeping, sitting in her chair while leaning against the table. She was facing the three whiteboards they had setup to brainstorm about the horcruxes; one on the left that acted as Hermione's scratch pad, one in the center that held facts they both agreed on, and one on the right for Harry to use. Harry had cleared his side after he thought they had finished, but it was now full of writing.

Concern for Hermione was his first priority and knelt down to check on his sleeping fiancée. She looked as if she had been crying, and her sleep seemed fitful. Clutched in her hand was a marker of the same color as the writing on the right-hand board. Satisfied she was safe, Harry stood and moved to examine the newly filled marker board, wondering what it could possibly say that would cause Hermione such distress even in sleep. He had to stifle a gasp as he read through Hermione's delicate writing.

On the board was a listing of all the Horcruxes they had agreed on, but Hermione had apparently added the likely events that lead to the creation of each one. After the Hogwarts Horcrux, another item had been inserted – Godric's Hollow. This didn't make sense to Harry, they had both been certain Dumbledore was correct in the number of soul pieces Riddle had been attempting to make, and if Riddle had made one at Godric's Hollow then why make Nagini one? Written next to Godrics Hollow was the word 'Accident' followed by a question mark and next to the Nagini Horcrux were the words 'Second Attempt' also followed by a question mark.

While Harry didn't quite have the brains to match his future wife, he was not stupid. The notations on the board devolved into what looked like Arithmancy equations that Harry could not hope to understand fully, but he could pick out certain bits Hermione had previously explained that had to do with her theories on souls and how souls would have to split according to arithmancy. Towards the end, were four words that made Harry's blood run cold – 'Unstable ',' Accidental Success' and 'Scar'. The implications were horrifying. Harry began to hyperventilate. If he understood the board right, then Tom Riddle had been trying to make a horcrux the night he had murdered James and Lily Potter, quite possibly when he tried to kill Harry… and he may have succeeded, even if he didn't know it. He brought a hand up to feel his scar. It didn't feel any different, but then it was as if he had always had the scar – at least ever since that night. It suddenly all made sense. Feeling Voldemort's emotions, seeing through his eyes, and knowing what he was thinking. Dear God, he had a piece of Tom Riddle in his head, not just his powers like Dumbledore had thought, but an actual piece of his soul. Lost in thought at this horrible revelation, he did not immediately notice Hermione stirring.

"Harry?" came a sleepy voice.

He turned and made his way quickly to his drowsy fiancée. "You missed dinner. It's already long past time for bed."

She stood and wrapped herself in his arms and rested her face in the crook of his neck. "Sorry, Love. I was working on something very important."

He forced himself to smile. "That's alright. As long as you don't make a habit of missing dinner. Did you, at least, find what you were looking for?"

She tightened her hold on his waist possessively. "I did… but I don't like what I found."

"Anything I should know?"

"Yes, but not right now. I still need to do more research for confirmation."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Stay with me."

"Okay."

They were silent as they held one another. Finally, Hermione broke the silence. "Harry, I'm hungry."

"I have some soup we can reheat. If you like, I'll even serve you dinner in bed."

"Yes to the bed, but the food can wait." With a smile on her face but a haunted look in her eyes, Hermione lead him by the hand back to their bedroom.

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A/N: There's more to come. You'll find out the fate of Ron and the horcruxes. Look forward to it and please review.