A/N : Wow, I spent a lot of time trying to get this chapter right……so I hope no one's too terribly disappointed. I suck at writing action scenes (I've discovered) so feel free to pound me with criticism, cause Kami knows I need it……
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Naruto, but I do stick them with sharp pointy things at my whim.
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"Maaaa, Iruka-sensei, I thought classes started in the classroom, not on the training field."
Iruka spun around…..and found himself less than a foot away from the face of the man that ridiculed him in front of his fellow shinobi over a year ago.
Iruka fought back the urge to glare as he stared deep into Kakashi's good eye. Of course he couldn't see what truly lay 'underneath the underneath' the gray depths. If Iruka could, he wouldn't have believed it anyways.
No one has ever seen "fear" in Kakashi's eye… or even Obito's eye for that matter….and as long as the Copy-Nin was still breathing, no one ever would.
"Iruka-sensei….hello…are you there?" Kakashi stared at the other man, "Am I late?"
"Yes you…." Iruka paused to glance down at his watch, "…aren't?"
His watch read 8:00:59 a.m.
Impossible.
"Maaa, see, I told you I'd be here on time."
"I…I… see… th..that." Why am I stuttering? Get it together Iruka! Iruka started to take in deep breaths of air. So what? He showed up on time. No big deal…..so what if he's not late. I…must….must stay in control. Come on Iruka, put up your 'indifferent' face…
"Well, are we going to begin?" Kakashi stopped staring at Iruka and took a look at the students. Iruka had the kids organized into groups, just like he told Kakashi he would the day before. "Which ones are mine?"
"T-the ones on th-the ri-right."
"Iruka-sensei, are you alright?"
"Hai, Kakashi-sensei. I just wasn't expecting you to.."
"To show up on time?" Kakashi tried to supply helpfully to the obviously flustered chunnin.
Iruka scowled. Stupid jounin, of course I didn't expect you to show up on time. But I'll be dammed if I'll ever tell you that! Iruka closed his eyes and forced himself to gain control.
"No, Kakashi-sensei. You appeared directly behind me and startled me is all. I was in the middle of meditating before you arrived." Iruka opened his eyes and smiled sweetly at Kakashi. "Of course I expected you on time."
"You were meditating? May I ask why?"
Damn that man….why does he have to question my actions? "I find that if I meditate before I carry out my lesson plan that it helps me keep my patience in check. It benefits the children's learning experience this way as well." Take that…. Iruka mentally stuck his tongue out at Kakashi.
"I'll have to try that sometime. I might even have to teach that to my new students since I can't give them my regular patience training anymore… and speaking of my new students…. thank you for taking care of them out here for me." Kakashi's smiled under his mask. So meticulous aren't we sensei? The children are in nice even groups and standing at attention, hell, he probably formed the groups based of the kids' ninjutsu element. He seriously needs to unwind….
"Kakashi-sensei, are you ready to begin?" Iruka asked with just a hint of impatience in his voice. Shit! Calm down! Stop letting him get to you like that! Kami, I hope he didn't pick up on that, because if he did, that entire lie you just made up is now totally worthless…
Iruka kept staring at the man who was now walking away from him, making his way to the front of the children. I don't think he was paying attention. Probably working on his introductory speech to the kids. Iruka seemed to settle himself with this rationale. I suppose it's time to hear the legendary Sharingan Kakashi tell us his tale and give us his thoughts on weaponry.
Iruka was almost right, except Kakashi was more or less repeating a mantra in his brain that was something like "Act cool, don't screw up in front of the kids and Iruka. Act cool; don't screw up in front of the kids or Iruka…."
Why in the hell do I care if I screw up in front of Iruka? The idea stuck him oddly. He's just an academy teacher. But he's a damn good academy teacher…..I'm not intimidated…nope not me…..not in the least little bit….
"Erm….Yo." Kakashi held his hand up in a short wave to the kids. "Ahhh…my name is Hatake Kakashi, and I will be filling in for Taki-sensei for awhile." Kakashi looked up from the kids and looked at Iruka, hoping for some sign of approval. Iruka just stared back with a look of total indifference. Heh, he's gonna make me sweat this one out. Come on genius, just tell the kids the basics and then let them try to hit you with a few…it's not like they are actually going to make contact…
"Umm…today's lesson is on how to throw kunai and shuriken. Uhh……I know some of you have thrown before, but I suppose I'll just start from the beginning." Kakashi looked down at the kids, and to his dismay, they were all staring right back. Just keep talking genius…they are just kids after all…
"Ok well um….it's basically all about the balance of the weapon you are throwing; you can throw just about anything and make it stick into your target as long as you can identify and feel the balance of the object. As ninja, you should be able to throw your weapons from any position, but for now we will just go into the cat stance and begin from there." Kakashi readied himself into the throwing position and gestured for the kids to do the same. "Ehh Iruka-sensei…could you help me make sure all the kids are standing correctly?"
"Of course, Kakashi-sensei." Iruka began to circle the small groups and adjusted a few students here and there. As he was positioning students, he kept his ears open and took in the older ninja's words. He's not bad, Iruka thought to himself, he's actually taking this a lot more serious than I thought he would. Or maybe it's all just a big act on his part and he's just waiting for the opportune time to embarrass me in front of the kids. Iruka frowned, oh well, by the end of this little lesson I'll have gotten him back for making me look like shit in front of the other shinobi. But I'm still getting revenge on him for even putting Naruto, Saskue, and Sakura in that dangerous position to begin with…
"Iruka-sensei….hello…." Kakashi was waving his hand in the air trying to get the chunnin's attention. The kids snickered as Iruka whipped his head around and gave Kakashi a 'deer in the headlights' look. Umino, you're turning into a idiot when you get around him, stop thinking about him and concentrate…..
"Yes, Kakashi-sensei?"
"Maaaaa, I think the kids are ready for target practice."
Iruka smiled at the other shinobi, while his inner-self was busy wringing his hand and cackling, Muwhahahaha, let's do this…..
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"Are they starting yet?" Anko whispered to Raidou.
"I dunno, but it looks like the kids are in their stances," Raidou whispered back. "I will say this; Kakashi does have them ready to take the offensive. I hope he's not setting himself up to look like a porcupine."
"Pffft, please…I highly doubt those kids are going to do much damage. This is cake for Kakashi." said Anko.
Those words can be so easily eaten, Genma thought to himself after overhearing his two fellow shinobi. Do I smell opportunity? Ahhh…I think I do. Helooked around Raidou and gave Anko an innocent smile. "Say Anko…you willing to wager a little bet?"
Anko looked back at him. "What's the bet, and what are the terms?"
"The bet is that Kakashi doesn't last 30 minutes out there with those kids flinging all that shit at him, and if I win, you get to take over my spot in the mission room for a month" Genma turned back around and crossed his arms in front of his chest, "and of course if you win, you can have….whatever." He flicked his wrist out as if to say 'don't bother betting, cause you're gonna lose'.
Now normally, even though Anko may act like she's crazy, she is quite level-headed…in some situations. Anko never bets unless she knows it's a sure thing. It was silly anyways; Kakashi could hang on that long, at least 45 minutes. He is the legendary Sharingan Kakashi after all…..
And of course Genma HAD to do the wrist-flick thing…..noooooo…..Anko would never stoop to Genma's level and fall for something like….
"I bet he holds out for 45 minutes!" Anko spit out.
Got her…heh. Genma smiled, "And what is it that you want if you win?"
"Ummmmm, a months worth of dango…" Anko said, although that's not what she was hoping for.
"Jaaaa don't be silly. Make this one good. Dango is stupid."
"I don't know what to bet." Anko thought for a moment before her eyes wandered out onto the training field to where the kids, Kakashi and Iruka….
"I want Iruka-kun. For one night."
The entire ninja tree went into silence.
Genma looked out to where Anko was staring. He had inkling that she had it out for the young chunnin; it was just no one ever said anything. Partly out of the fear that Anko would have ripped their heads off and shoved it down their throats, and partly out of the other fear that if Iruka found out he would just go ape-shit.
All shinobi decided that neither outburst from either party seemed in their best interest, so it was technically classified as a taboo subject, and was forever prohibited from being verbalized….
Until today.
"Ok, Anko. The bet is on." Genma said…before realizing that he would have to be the one to tell Iruka of his little 'bet'. Oh shit….Hatake…you'd better just fall over or something…cause Anko AND Iruka are gonna be kicking my ass…..
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Iruka explained the rules to the kids. "One group goes at a time. If Kakashi-sensei or I tell you to stop, you are to put down your weapons until you are instructed to do otherwise. Does everyone understand?"
"Hai, Iruka-sensei!"
"Good, Kakashi-sensei, are you good to go?" Are you ready to be a ninja on a stick is more like it...
"Hai, Iruka-sensei." Kakashi readied himself. "Begin!"
The first group of kids reared back and threw their weapons. Kakashi was already in the middle of making hand signs for teleportation before the kids even let go. He appeared on the other side of the battlefield by the time the weapons had reached his first position. Maaaa, no sweat…
"Second group go!" Iruka yelled.
The kids tried again. Kakashi, his hand signs already complete, was back on the other side of the field.
"Group three go!" Iruka yelled.
Kakashi went though the motions and was back on the opposite side once again, but there were already kunai and shuriken heading to his final destination.
What the hell? Kakashi fingered through another set of hand signs and teleported himself into the center of the field. Kunai and shuriken were heading towards him here as well. Shit! I thought they were supposed to be taking turns? One group at a time or some shit!?!? He teleported again and wound up beside one of the taijutsu training posts. He quickly ducked behind it as sharp, pointy objects flew into hand-carved stump. What is going on?
Iruka was doing a good job of getting the groups to take turns. In fact, he was doing such a good job that there weren't any breaks in between the groups. The kids were just really going at it. It was like the equivalent of a machine gun that dispensed kunai and shuriken. Only the machine gun had bad aim…REALLY bad aim.
Kakashi stayed behind the post as yet another round of pointy things came flying in his direction. I'll hit the ground and crawl away from here. The grass should be enough coverage. That will give me enough time to formulate a plan…..and hopefully it goes better than what this is turning out to be like….
Iruka saw a flash of silver disappear from behind the post and head duck down beneath the tall grass blades. Oh no you don't you fucker… "Hanabi-chan! Now!"
"Hai sensei!" Hanabi stepped out form behind Iruka and slammed her hands together.
"Byukugan!"
The young girl swept her all-seeing eyes across the field. She easily saw the other teacher trying to sneak off to the left side of the field.
"He's over to the left Iruka-sensei."
"Are you sure?"
"Hai, sensei."
"Ok kids, since our other teacher is trying to be sneaky, we are going to have to rustle him out of the bushes. Wherever Hanabi-chan points, you throw. Understood?" Iruka couldn't help but smile as the kids got excited at the new game.
"Hai, Iruka-sensei!"
"Ok Hanabi-chan, you're up!"
"He's over there!" the Hyuuga girl pointed to the left and towards the ground.
A barrage of airborne kunai went in Kakashi's direction.
Even though Kakashi couldn't see the objects, he could feel them coming. He sprung up from the ground and whirled his body to the right. In doing so, he reached up and lifted his headband up to reveal the Sharingan. He turned around just in time to see another round come at him.
Poof. He was on the right. Poof. He was on the left. Poof. He was in the center. Poof. He back on the right. Poof. He went back to the center, but some of the kids in Iruka's class just so happened to guess at where he might pop up next. When he popped up, his body became riddled with kunai.
"Got em!" the kids yelled, only to be outdone by a large, Pop! In Kakashi's place was a log that had been punctured instead.
"AWWWWW!" the kids moaned.
"He's over there!" Hanabi screamed and pointed back to where the training logs were at.
The kids began to throw their weapons again. Iruka occasionally went to one or two of the groups to adjust their fingers for a better throw. On the inside however, he was practically break-dancing…that is if shinobi could break-dance. This is awesome, soooooooo awesome...everything is perfect! And Hanabi-chan has earned herself an A on the next ten pop quizzes, he thought to himself as he watched her continually point out the copy-nin's whereabouts.
Which by the way, was REALLY beginning to piss Kakashi off.
If I had known that he had a damn Byukugan user in his class I might have not agreed to this. He popped back up on the right side of the field, kunai already soaring in that direction. Poof. He came back to the center and hit the ground. They actually forced me to use my Sharingan, and I didn't think I'd have to resort to this. I don't know how long of this I can take. But I don't want to wuss out in front of the kids and Iruka. Can't give up, not yet…
"He's over there!" Hanabi yelled and pointed.
Shit, if I get out of this alive, I'm gonna have a little talk with that chunnin…..He looked up and saw the small cluster of trees at the end of the training field. Maybe if I can make it to over there I might have some sort of coverage, well not a lot because of the Hyuuga girl, but maybe enough for me to get my bearings. He dodged another set of flying shuriken and teleported to the left…but a little further back this time. Ok, here I go….
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The tree ninja were having the time of their life. This was the best entertainment they'd had since the time Gai, Genma, and Asuma decided that they were going to help the local chicken farmers and 'Relieve the Poor Souls of Their Youthful Feathers' as Gai put it.
Seven bottles of sake will make shinobi be more 'helpful' in certain situations, even though their help is sometimes not appreciated….or wanted….
They were mostly bored, and Genma had a bet with Asuma that Gai wouldn't do it….
Genma was more trouble than what he was worth sometimes….
And said ninja was beginning to panic. His thirty minutes were up and now they were working towards Anko's forty-five. Come on, if he hangs of for another 20 minutes I'm out in the clear, neither me nor Anko will win. And I won't have to deal with a pissy Iruka….
"Damn, not a scratch on him," Tenzo whispered. "Although watching these kids go nuts on him like this totally funny."
"Yeah, that Hyuuga girl is really working him over." Asuma pointed out.
"Wow, did you see that?" Kotetsu pointed out between the branches. "I think one of the kids got him!"
"No way!" Kurenai tried to focus on Kakashi, but he was just moving too fast. "What makes you say that?"
"He's looks like he's slowing down for one," Raidou pointed out.
"Yeah and look, he's holding his side, I think…" Izumo squinted out towards Kakashi's position.
"Well he's closer in view than he has been since he's started this thing. Maybe we'll be able to tell here in a few minutes." Ebisu commented.
The rest of the ninja nodded their heads in agreement. Except for Shikamaru, who was actively trying to find route to escape. His eyes turned back to Kakashi's position in front of him. Not good…oh man…this is gonna be REALLY troublesome….
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Poof. Further back and to the left. Poof. Further back and to the right. Poof. Back again to the left. Almost there, I want there to be some confusion on which tree I get in. If not, these damn kids are gonna do me inon my first day. He pivoted around and dropped to the ground.
"He's over there! On the ground!" Hanabi-chan pointed.
Maaaaa, this is such bullshit…Kakashi quickly rolled up underneath a small bush, only to be taken by surprise by one of the groups of kids that had maneuvered around to the side. A series of 'thwacks' and a muffled 'gmmmph' could be heard from below the bush. Kakashi quickly teleported from beneath the bush to the other side of the field again. Gah, I can't believe it. The little shits got me. He started pulling out the different razor-sharp objects that were embedded into his side. He could only pull out a few before he had to teleport once again. At least I'm almost to my spot…..almost there…C'mon Hatake….don't give up now….
Iruka was subtly herding the kids to the right side of the field. He didn't want Kakashi getting out of their throwing range. I think the fourth group got him while he was next to that bush. Hehe…those are gonna leave some interesting marks…And where is he heading? He's almost at the end of the training field, and there's no way he'd head for the forest. Iruka suddenly looked up and an awful thought crossed his mind. He wouldn't….wait he doesn't know…
Kakashi disappeared once again and little Hanabi was straining her eyes, desperately searching for the older sensei.
She finally caught him up in a tree. She screamed and pointed "He's over", her brain finally caught up with her eyes, " ….um…there?!?"
Iruka spun around to see what was wrong with Hanabi-chan. She was pointing, that's for sure, but she was also slack-jawed, head tilted to the side, her left eye wide open with the other in a half-squint. The left eye was twitching slightly. Iruka began to stifle a giggle when he heard a scream.
Actually…. It was more like multiple screams.
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Now when Kakashi finally decided to teleport into his 'destination', he had no idea that the tree branch that he landed on could be so soft.
And uneven. And heavily scarred.
And take on the life-like appearance of Morino Ibiki.
Ohhhhhhhh Kami, what do we have here? Kakashi looked at Ibiki from this new up-close-and-personal perspective. He suddenly looked around and saw, well, practically the better half of the Kohona ninja perched in his 'well-thought-out' hiding spot. Heh, well, aren't we truly the ninjas from the 'Hidden Leaf, Kakashi thought amusingly to himself. Well, this could go two ways, either I lose my cool and do 'fearsome Kakashi' and have everyone run away, or, I could do something that no one would expect….something slightly crazier than normal…
Ibiki saw the Kakashi's craziness stir in his good eye. He absolutely refused to look into the one that contained the Sharingan. He began to sweat and he started to pull at the collar of his shirt.
Kakashi sat fully down in Ibiki's lap and threw his arms around his neck. "Ibiki! I never knew you cared!" Yeah, that should do the trick…
At that same time everyone heard "He's over….um…. there?"
Every ninja in that tree mentally screamed "OH SHIT!" and proceeded to make hand signs for various teleportation jutsus.
Of course there was one slight problem. It does take a small amount of elbow room to make proper hand signs, and with more than 60 ninja in a medium sized oak tree…leaves approximately zero room for any diverse elbow movements. Zero mobility plus zero fluid hand signs equals zero teleporting to same locations.
Kakashi reasoned that his class of first years could have easily figured that out...
The 'wooshing' sound became all too apparent for the tree ninja as the kunai and shuriken shot through the air and into the leaves and branches of the tree. Suddenly there was a erratic burst of unorthodox manuevers to plummet out of the tree.
"Get off!!"
"Owwww move outta the way!"
"Shit! Gyaaaah!"
"Just jump for Kami's sake!"
Accompanying the startled cries of pain and numerous sharp objects making a 'thunk' into the tree….there were many 'oomphs' that followed. Since many couldn't jump because of the other ninja pushing and shoving and unsuccessfully jutsuing out of the tree…..others just opted to just fall out of the tree and pray that there was a blanket of leaves on the ground to cushion their abrupt stop.
The children stopped their attempts to take off Kakashi's appendages long enough to stare and gawk at the scene in front of them. It was raining kunai, shuriken, leaves, branches, and of course...ninja. Many of the kids started to laugh, while other began to play a new game, 'Who Can Impale a Random Shinobi'.
Between the chaos of the tree, kids, and yelping shinobi that were sprinting away from the tree as if it were Gai-sensei in a speedo……. Iruka just totally lost it.
He couldn't stop laughing. He was bent over double, choking on his own tears from laughing so hard. He sat back up, gulping down deeps breaths of air, trying to come back to his senses. Stomach muscles cramped, vision blurred, cheeks pinched, throat being poked…..
Wait…
Iruka tried to shift his eyes to see who was behind him. But he had a bad feeling that he already knew who the owner of the kunai that happened to be mere millimeters away from his jugular.
"Maaaaa, Iruka-sensei….. I think you can call off the sweet innocent children now…."
