Winter's Ghost
Chapter 4
"I— I love you so much Dora," Bucky muttered as he kissed her again, moving both his hands beneath her shirt, feeling her skin tremble with excitement beneath his fingertips, fuck he wanted her so bad, he had to restrain himself in order to be gentle with her. He wanted her all day long, every day all he could think about was her. And she wanted him too, which made it a million times better. Fireworks were going off inside of his brain, Dora was running her slender fingers through his shoulder length hair— she had no idea how much that drove him crazy. He needed her, just her and no one else. Bucky could feel himself throbbing in arousal, Dora pulled him down on top of her onto the bed and pulled up her legs so he was in between. He groaned softly, ripping off his clothes at lightning speed, his bare chest brushing against her own skin, he needed to get closer to her, he needed to have her again, tonight. He felt her hands clutching onto his strong shoulders, looked into her deep hazel eyes and kissed her again. God, he could never get enough of her. He wanted this to go on for eternity. Pushing himself into her he thrust deeply and slowly, her moans making him go harder and faster as his hands groped her body, feeling every part of her, memorizing her. "Don't be afraid to hurt me, Bucky—" she whimpered, her body sweaty and writhing in pleasure beneath him. Her moans, her screams of ecstasy, and satisfaction, the way she cried his name as he found her weakest spot and sent her body into a release— oh, it was his fantasy. Lying down next to her as she tried to catch her breath, Bucky locked his arms around her exposed body, he would never let go. "Promise me, Dora, that you'll never leave me," he murmured with his last ounce of strength. "I will never leave you, Bucky. I love you too much. If I lost you— I'd— I'd go insane. I can't lose you." She propped herself up with one elbow and looked into his eyes, running one hand through his hair. "I promise." Closing his eyes in contentment, he drifted off to sleep, his last memory that of Dora's soft lips brushing against his own.
Jerking up out of bed, Bucky snapped out of the feverish dream he'd drifted into once more. Fuck, these were almost worse than the night terrors he'd had before Dora had left. He couldn't get her out of his head, he had a life with new problems and struggles but he missed her so damn much. And he knew that these would plague him until he found her again. Dora had been everything to him, and not knowing where she was or what she was doing, well it was about to drive him fucking crazy. Especially at night, when the business of daytime had died down and he didn't have tasks to keep his mind occupied and off of her. Steve was doing his best to help, especially those quiet times when Bucky wasn't very responsive, he knew what his pal was thinking about.
Grumbling and getting up out of bed, ripping the covers aside Bucky grabbed his clothes. He knew that it still wasn't safe for him to go outside on his own, but he had to do something to get out of this house, haunted with the ghosts of memories of all the times he'd spent with Dora during their short lived but passionate episode.
A light snow had fallen outside, his breath made puffy white clouds in the sky, figures that danced away into nothingness. A dog was barking in the distance, a few people wandered here and there around the somewhat busy street. Bucky kept walking for a while, immersed deep in thought, not just Dora but everything else. He knew that his conversation with her, she'd been right. Everything was temporary, nothing could last forever. Not even this pain. Not even him missing her. Not even S.H.I.E.L.D's issue with him. The only thing that would last were the memories, and not even those if HYDRA got him in their clutches. He kicked a piece of trash off of the sidewalk and out of his way as he thought. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, another memory wipe. To get rid of Dora. Maybe, maybe she had left him because she didn't love him. Maybe she'd found someone else. Maybe—
He had to stop thinking or he'd go insane. The only way to find out anything about Dora was if he found her. He needed to work this out as soon as possible. It wasn't enough to just— read the list of dead people found in the river every day or try and find her in the homeless shelters. He still loved her, he was going to find her. And fight for her, even if he had to fight her for the truth.
