My days were filled with aching loneliness. It was not a new feeling as I had felt alone my entire life. It hadn't been so bad while my mother was alive for she was always by my side. But she hand't been enough to fill that empty space that I had. After she had died that since of loneliness had deepened. When I met Kou and Takato, I had been able to ignore the painful loneliness that I always felt. The only time that I didn't feel alone was in my dreams. Always, I had felt happy and safe no matter what was happening. I knew joy when my wolf/man came to me. Learning that he had always been there made me understand just why I had always felt at peace in my dreams. What I didn't understand was the fear that crashed over me when I awoke. The disorientation, the confusion. The turning of my stomach and the throwing up. The trembling and sweating. That had happened all my life and even now when my dreams were no longer filled with blood and death but instead with my wolf/man. I often wanted tried to ask him but I could not get the words out of my mouth, fearing that he would see me as weak. Which was foolish I suppose. He was not one to think of me as such.
Loneliness wasn't the only thing hunting my days. Many of my days had found me at the hands of an angry Lord Yamma. I have always worked hard, not just because I am a hard worker but because I wanted to please him. Wanted to him to look at me with pride in his eyes. I wanted him to love me as a son so I worked hard to please him. Sadly this never seamed to work. He was still disgusted with the very thought of me. Of late, he had taken to punishing me for the littlest of infractions and mishaps. Things that he had once ignored like he had ignored me. If I tripped, I was punished. If I burped, I was punished. If I broke something, didn't set the table right, or the bedding wasn't properly cleaned and set out at night. I was punished.
I had also become the new whipping boy. Any time, one of my older or younger siblings, all borne by Lady Yamma, did something wrong, I would be grabbed by some guards. They would take me out to the yard, strip me and tie me to a post. I would be given twenty lashes as punishment for whatever my siblings had done. Sometimes there would be more lashes as more than one of my siblings had done something. There had been times when I would receive two hundred lashes. I had ten siblings and they all hated me. Hated me for no reason other than I was their father's bastard child and therefor a waste of space that was an eyesore. So they often did bad things on purpose.
*VF*
"What is this?! How can you come to work dressed in such a state?! After all I have done for you, you come dressed like some lowlife peasant?! I give you work, a place to live and clothing and you can't be bothered to even show your gratitude for my kindness by keeping your clothes clean and in good shape?!"
I looked down at myself, not understanding what was wrong with my clothing. My work clothes were always kept as clean as possible, I washed them every day after coming home from work. If they should catch on something, I mended them immediately. They were in far better condition then my sleeping gowns ever have been. Even when I first got them, my sleeping gowns were stained and full of holes having been either hand me downs from my siblings or having been bought from a donation center.
A fist connected with the side of my face and I fell to the ground. A hand fisted in my hair and I was dragged out into the yard where I was stripped of my clothing and latched to a post. The guards took my clothing over to the burn pile and tossed them into the fire. Unhappy with just my clothing being burned, Lord Yamma had my shoes tossed in as well. I heard Lord Yamma crack his whip and flinched. No matter how many times this happened, I would never get used to it. I was given fifty lashes to my back, ten to each leg and five to each foot. I was left there, bleeding for the rest of the day. Many of the servants would wonder by and spit on me or toss rotten food at me.
At the end of the day the guards released me and Takato and Kou carried me to the village's witch. She was a healer but many feared her and stayed away. Lord Yamma had two of the country's best doctors at his disposal. He left one to deal with all of his people's needs while the other tended solely to him, his wife and his children, barring me of course. The witch tisked as she once again bandaged me up. The woman had been taken care of me since I was a child, having been friends with my mother. As such, she never charged me a single yen for her care. Asking that I only find happiness in exchange of her services.
Takato and Kou carried me home and helped to change into an ill fitting sleeping gown that was threadbare. Pulling the blankets over me did little to help shield me form the cold. By the looks on my two friends' faces, I knew they were not happy but they would do nothing to change the thin blankets and clothing. They had learned their lesson. Any gifts from them to me would be taken away and I would be severely punished for their gifts. Knowing this, they never gave me anything anymore past a listening ear and someone to laugh with. I was happy enough with just that though. I meant so much to just for them to accept me and love me for who I am.
*VF*
I had only been asleep for a few hours when the knocking came on my door. From the lightness of it, it was obvious that it was not my father's guards coming to summon me for whatever reason. Though they usually didn't knock anyway. I was a little annoyed now, who would be knocking on my door at this time of night and why? Everyone from the village avoided me like I had a plague of some kind. Sighing, I made my way to the door on painfully sore feet. The herbs that the witch had given me had faded, I would have to replace them once I sent off whoever this mistaken person was.
I opened the door and was shocked by what I saw. The two men who stood at my tiny doorstep were ones I have never seen before. They were not villagers and they were not the any foreign guests of my father's that I had seen. They were also wearing some of the strangest clothing that I had ever seen. They wore long dark blue robes that had long sleeves that seemed to have openings that seemed to big for their arms. There were leather corded belts around their waists. Large hoods topped their heads hiding most of their faces. Long leather cords hung around their necks with a small strange emblem that rested on their chests. The shorter one pulled his hood back, baring a handsome face. His eyes were a deep warm brown that had seen far more than their share of sadness. Two pieces of blue tinted glass sat in thin metal on his nose. I tilted my head, wondering what they were for.
"Is there something that I can help you with?" My voice shook and sounded raspy. It hurt to speak but it would have been rude to just stand there with the door open and starring at them.
"Takaba Akihito?"
"Yes." My voice was hesitant now.
"We are very sorry to disturb you Takaba-sama bu-"
I couldn't help myself. I laughed so hard that I bent double. The man stared down at me with a frown and huffed out an annoyed breath. I did my best to calm down but a few giggles crept out here and there for sometime. I wipped tears from my eyes. "Sorry but I've never heard something so funny before. Takaba-sama, what a riot!" I giggled some more. "Now is there something that I can help you with?"
The man was now looking at me in shock. The man next to him pulled his hood off, revealing a darker shade of blond hair than mine. His eyes were a light shade of brown and they too showed that they had seen far too much in this world. "Takaba-san" I laughed again. These two were such a riot. 'Sama' and 'San'. I had never been addressed as such. I was to low in the world to merit a mere hello or good morning from anyone that wasn't Kou or Takato.
Suddenly there was another man standing before me. He said nothing as he walked forward and into my home, giving me no option to say no or welcome. The other two followed him in and the large blond shut the door then stood with his back against it. Almost like he was guarding it. The other man stood by the fire place which gave him a good view of the entire room. I turned to see what the third man was doing. My eyes widened in shock as the man pulled his clothing off, revealing his nude body. I spun around with bright pink cheeks and my eyes now closed. A deep chuckle filled the small space of my hovel. "Why look away now Akihito when you have seen it all before." I slowly turned back to face the man, shocked by the familiar voice. Tears filled my eyes and I launched myself at him. He caught me with a happy laugh and hugged me tight. My wolf/man wasn't just a figment of my dream world. He was real and he was right here before me. Naked as the day he was born. I sobbed into his chest.
I don't know when I fell asleep but when I woke it was to pain filled body. I tried to throw the blankets from my body but my arms shook so badly that I could barely control them. "Your awake." I looked up at the angry voice. My wolf/man was frowning down at me, anger clear in his golden eyes. I tried to scoot away but the pain in my body wouldn't let me. The angry look in his eyes softened and he gently brushed my sweat soaked hair back from my face. "It's alright Akihito. I'm not angry at you nor am I going to hurt you." He sat down next to me and pulled the blankets from my body. He hissed and cursed. "I knew that I smelt blood. Earlier, I was to overjoyed to see you in the flesh with my own eyes for the first time in twenty years and I paid no attention to what condition your body was in. Shit!" He cupped the side of my face and stroked his thumb over my cheek.
"Who did this to you Akihito?" I shook my head, not understanding what he meant. He frowned. "Who hurt you Akihito?"
"No one."
"Then where did you get these lash marks from?"
"Oh that. That was punishment from today."
"Punishment for what Akihito?" My wolf/man's voice was low and deep. A warning, not to me but to those who would dare to lay their hands on me for whatever reason. I didn't know that though. I thought I had angered him and used to beatings and harsher punishments, I began to shake in fear. He sighed and pulled my gown from my body and I could see sadness fill his eyes. He gently rolled me onto my stomach. Starting with my feet, he pulled the bloody bandages from my body. He leaned forward and licked up the blood running from my reopened wounds. I should have been shocked and disgusted but I wasn't. It was soothing and oh so familiar to me. My mother had often done the same for me as a child. There had once been another to do it as well. So, so long ago. My eyes closed again and I was soon once again asleep.
I woke up the next morning the warmest I have ever been. My face was buried in the raven colored fur of my wolf/man and his body was wrapped tightly around my own. I wiggled and wiggled in the hopes of getting free but he only tightened his hold on me. With a sigh, I snuggled back down into his warm, furry body. When I next woke, I could smell food cooking. It was a scent that I only ever smelled while in the kitchens at Lord Yamma's. I never cooked at home as I was not allowed burn the fire wood. My stomach rumbled, reminding me that it was long over due for a meal. But my stomach would have to wait. I was beyond late for work.
I jumped from the bed and raced to my little washing stand. I frowned as I realized that I had no work clothing, as Lord Yamma had burned the only uniform that I had. Knowing that I would probably never receive another, as Lord Yamma had ordered me to work in the nude from now on. Sighing, I grabbed my threadbare winter cloak and hurriedly pulled it on. That would at least protect me until I got to work. I said a quick good morning to my three guests and ran out the door and all the way to Lord Yamma's.
*VF*
I watched as my little mate rushed out the door, his meal never even noticed where it sat on the table that I had conjured up. A feeling of forbonding filled me. The boy had been wearing a threadbare cloak with nothing beneath it and no shoes. I had only just healed them last night and now he was running around barefoot. Worry tugged at my guts at what shape they would have been in had I not healed them and he had run off barefoot. "Kei, shift and follow Akihito. Keep him safe." Kei bowed deeply then was disappearing out the door that Kazumi held open for him.
After a few moments, I stood and wondered around the place my little mate called home. If you could call it a home. The place wasn't even fit for holding prisoners. I didn't like it. It was not a worthy place for my mate. I thought of the castle that had once been Akihito's home, how it now laid in ruins. A hollowed, burned out shell of what it used to be. I would build him a new one. A better one. A place that he could truly call home. As I ran a hand over a crack in the wall, I wonded about Akihito's parents. His mother loved him and doted on him. Akihito was the apple of his mother's eye. With all that man had done to get Akihito and his mother back, I had expected better for him. I thought he would be living the life of a spoiled rich noble's son. Instead I find him in a rundown hovel and whipped to pieces. Where was his mother? Surely she never would have allowed this to happen. That father though. Asami growled. That man was another matter entirely.
*VF*
"You're late." Sang a cheerful voice. I cringed at the familiar, hated voice. I turned to see Sudou Shu, another maid of the household and my father's mistress. The older maid had made my life a living hell. He loved to torment me. Sometimes braking things just to get me in trouble. Lord Yamma knew it was Sudou who broke the items as the maid often broke them right in front of him. Yet it was always Akihito who got in trouble. That was just one benefit of spreading your legs for the master of the house.
"Please don't tell anyone Sudou-san." I begged.
The older maid grinned at me. "To late." He pointed behind me and I turned to see my father's angry face. I was shoved to the floor where Sudou began to stomp and spit on me. My father laughed and encouraged the maid in his efforts. Sudou was just about to kick me in the head when a deep growl split the air. We all looked to see a dark brown house cat. The cat launched itself at Sudou but I caught the cat in time. With the cat held tightly in my arms, I ran from the house. My father and Sudou loved to torture animals of any kind and this cat would be no different.
I was almost off the grounds when I was tackled to the ground by a guard. I wrapped myself around the cat's small body to keep it safe even though it struggled to get free. I could feel the whip bitting into my flesh through my cloak. I would be severely punished no for not only being late but for running away from my earlier punishment and for taking away what would have been quite the entertainment for lord and mistress.
*VF*
My hand shook as I placed the small bowl of milk before the cat. At first it looked as if the cat was going to snub the milk and my shoulders sagged. The cat starred at me for a moment then began to drink. I smiled and began to pet the cat. He let out a deep purr and I giggled. The cat looked at me, annoyed but he didn't stop purring as he drank up the milk. When the cat finished, he climbed up onto my lap and curled into a ball of purring brown fur. As I sat petting the pretty kitty, I told him all about my life. I don't know why. There was just something soothing about the cat that made me tell him things that I haven't even told Kou and Takato.
As night fell, I made my way back to my tiny hovel. The cat held securely against my chest. It didn't fight me as it had earlier that day when Lord Yamma and Sudou had been after us. Since then it had been a most peaceful beast. I was shocked to see lights on in my hovel and raced up to my home and slammed the door. Everywhere I looked, there were candles. Without dropping the cat, I race around and extinguished all but one. Next I put out the fire in the fireplace. My two guests looked at me as if I had suddenly grown a second head. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to be rude. I only have one candle and that is all that is allowed to be lit and the fireplace isn't supposed to be lit at all."
"Why?" Asked the tall blond while my wolf/man sniffed at the air. A low growl vibrating in his chest.
"Why are you bleeding Akihito?" I held the cat tighter and backed away until my back hit the wall. I was still shaken from my punishment earlier and the danger and anger lurking in his voice cared me. Tears left my eyes and I buried my face into the cat's fur, sobbing. My legs gave away and my wolf/man caught me and carried me to the bed. He pride the cat from my arms.
"No! Please don't hurt the kitty!"
My wolf/man frowned at me. "I'm not going to hurt the kitty Akihito. He is one of mine after all."
I sniffed and looked up at him with tear stained eyes. "Yours?"
"Yes Akihito. Alright Kei, you can shift back now." He set the cat down on the floor. A bright, golden light surrounded him and then, the man with the pretty brown eyes and strange glass thing on his face was kneeling on the floor. "Care to tell me how my mate was injured while under your guard?"
The man known as Kei swallowed hard. He opened his mouth to speak but I beat him to it. "I was punished for being late. And for running away. And for taking away Lord Yamma and his little pet Sudou's entertainment." I looked up at my wolf/man. "I knew what they would do to the kitty if I didn't protect him. They love to torture animals. I couldn't allow that to happen to the kitty."
My wolf/man took a hold of my shaking hands and pressed a kiss to my cheek. "You did good Akihito. You protected the kitty well. Just like any loving, caring person would."
*VF*
I helped my beloved mate lay down on his bed. Gently I removed his blood soaked cloak. Like the night before, I ran my tongue along his bleeding wounds. Healing them as if they hadn't been there in the first place. Akihito once again fell asleep as I healed him and I chuckled. Even twenty years later the boy was the same. Loving, caring, putting others before himself, and falling asleep while I healed him. Speaking quietly, I summoned a heavy blanket and tucked it around my boy. I pressed a soft kiss to the back of his blond head then turned to face Kei.
The wear-cat flinched and dropped to his knees. "I am sorry Lord Asami. I failed to protect him. I failed you."
"No. Rise Kei. Akihito chose to protect you because he knew that you would be hurt. Well he thought that he knew that you would be hurt. He didn't know that you were a shape shifter and therefor far stronger than a normal kitty." The wear-cat flinched at the word kitty and Asami smiled. Kei did have his pride, not that Akihito ever seamed to take that into account. Even as a child, Kei had been kitty. "So tell me all that happened today." I listened silently as Kei told all that had taken place but inside I was a seething mass of fury. Calmly, I spoke again. "What did Akihito talk to you about?"
"I promised not to tell anyone." I raised his brows. Promises to a shape shifter were held in high regards. A shifter would never brake a promise and if they did the consequences were high. The only thing held in higher esteem were mates.
"Alright. I will learn it from Akihito eventually." I gave a deep chuckle. "I'm glad that you two bonded. Soon it will be just like old times. Akihito keeping secretes from me and telling you two and the two of you promising not to tell just because you can't resist his cute, adorable face. Then he'll tell me anyways." I chuckled again.
"There is one thing that I didn't promise to keep silent about."
"Oh? Out with it then."
"Akihito's mother, the queen is dead."
Shock filled both Kazumi and me. "That's not possible!" Kazumi shot from his seat. I sat back in my chair, the shock still riding me hard. Kazumi was right. It was impossible for the queen to die. The royal family never got sick and never died. Phoenixes were true immortals. Unless... unless a very special blade that was made from their own feathers was stabbed through their hearts. I stood and went to my mate's side. I slid beneath the covers and pulled him close. Tears fell for the loss of my queen and close friend as well as for the pain my boy had been through.
