Mike was sitting on the couch watching TV. When his mother came in from buying groceries. He looked up from the screen and eyed the bags that she was carrying. Evan walked in suddenly and ran over to her.

"Oh, let me help you with those. They look heavy." He said.

"So, what makes you think you can lift them?" Mike sniggered from the couch.

"Mike, please don't make fun of him." Barbara told her son.

"I wasn't. I was just stating the fact that he is…petite." He replied.

"Petite is what you would say about a woman." His mother replied.

"Ok, then Evan's a woman." Mike said.

"I am not." Evan frowned as he helped Barbara with the bags of groceries.

"Maybe you should be more like Evan." She told him.

"Ok mother." Mike replied in a deliberately high voice.

He turned back to the TV and became engrossed in some random TV show. He had no idea what was going on, but there was a lot of chicks in bikini's so he was happy. He frowned when Joseph came and sat beside him. There were other seats, but he just had to take a seat next to Mike.

"What are you watching?" Joseph asked him.

"I have no idea." Mike replied.

"Do you mind if I watch something?" Joseph asked.

"Knock yourself out." Mike nodded.

His future stepfather proceeded to skip channels, until he came to some kind of nature documentary. Mike raised his eyebrows in disbelief. If he wanted to watch sports, he might not have minded, but nature documentaries?

"Mike, I got you something." His mother smiled as she handed him a bag.

"Wow, that's actually quite cool." He replied as he pulled out a t-shirt.

"I'm glad you think so." Barbara smiled at her son.

"Thanks mom." He said.

"Great, I got Evan one too." She replied as Evan walked in with his t-shirt.

"What?" Mike jumped out of his seat and frowned.

"I treat both of you as my sons." His mother shrugged.

"We are gonna look like freakin' twins!" Mike yelled across the room.

"No we're not." Evan said.

"Exactly, cause I am not wearing it if he is." Mike replied.

"They're both different sizes." Evan grinned.

"That was a fat insinuation!" the elder one pouted angrily.

Barbara shook her head and walked into the kitchen. Joseph continued to watch what appeared to be something about dominance in wolf packs. Mike frowned, hoping that this nerd didn't think he was going to be the pack leader in this house. Nature documentaries were just as bad as comic books. Nerds!

"What's for dinner mom?" Evan asked Barbara.

"Lasagne with pie for afters." She answered.

Mike listened intently. Not only had she ignored his dietary preferences after the whole pancake incident, but also she just accepted the nerd calling her "mom". Both of them looked up as Mike entered the kitchen.

"Since when does he call you "mom"?" he demanded.

"Well it makes sense. Once me and Joseph are married, he'll be my son too." Barbara replied.

"But I'm your son! I'm the one you actually gave birth to!" Mike stood with his mouth open in shock.

"I'll always be your mommy!" she cooed and pulled him into a hug.

"Why do we have to have lasagne?" Mike asked as his mother stroked his hair.

"Because it's Joseph and Evan's favourite." She replied.

"What about the pie?" he asked his mother.

"Cinnamon apple." Barbara smiled.

"My favourite pie!" Mike grinned happily.

"Best not have any cream though…" Evan mumbled so that Mike only just caught it.

"A little cream will not make me fat!" he hissed back at his future stepbrother.

"No, cause you already are." Evan replied, before running out of the room.

"I swear Evan, you are dead!" Mike frowned angrily.

It was soon time for dinner. Mike sat opposite Evan and beside his mother. She had served the lasagne, which was delicious, not that Mike would admit that now though. He had a sneaking suspicion that his mother and Joseph were playing footsie underneath the table, which made him a little bit sick. Evan had not said anything to him in the past half hour, which made Mike nervous in a strange way.

"Ok, did everybody enjoy their lasagne?" Barbara asked them.

"It was absolutely beautiful, just like you." Joseph grinned at her. Mike was sure that he actually did vomit a little in his mouth at that point.

"It tasted great." nodded Evan, as he helped clear the plates away.

"It wasn't that bad." Mike lied.

Evan frowned at him, as if he was suspicious of the Ohio native's motives.

"Here's the pie and the cream." Barbara smiled as she placed the dishes down on the table.

Mike offered to cut everyone a slice. Of course he had a motive.
His mother and him got a normal sized slice each. Joseph got a bigger slice, in the hope that it made him too bloated to consider violating Mike's mother again tonight. Evan got a bigger slice and immediately questioned it.

"How come you gave me a big slice?" he frowned at Mike.

"I'm trying to build you up." Mike replied seriously.

"Are you trying to make me like you?" Evan gasped.

"Do you mean fat?" Mike shook his head and piled some cream on his slice of pie.

"No I meant husky." Evan grinned.

"I may be husky, but you're a petite nerd who is a gay virgin and not at all related to me!" Mike yelled.

The other three watched as he stormed out of the kitchen.

"I forgot my pie." he mumbled as he walked back in and picked up his dish.