I'm sorry for neglecting this fanfic lately. Choices took off and then I have to balance that out with my studies.. Kinda sucks really, I always want to do my writing first but if I'm going to keep my A average I'm going to have to work. See I coast most of the time my parents try to push me up to A's but I don't really have to try too hard and I don't like too lol that sounds lazy. A's pretty good though.. I think. I totally freaked when I got a B in geography! Humanities is my strand this year so I want to keep straight A's.. Screwed that up!! Oh well, its just high school..
Why, I thought you would be remotely interested, not even I know! LOL sorry for my ramblings..
The streets swear abit in their songs I changed a couple of the words that were unsuitable but yeah.. Just warning ya!
Disclaimer: I do not own The London Underground, phoebe's songs, 'Going underground' the streets, or sadly Instant star..
Mason continued his enthusiastic orders and by the time the group reached the closest station all were beginning to feel slight annoyance and even embarrassment as Mason had attracted many on-lookers with his hi-pitched comments on things such as the guards outside buckingham palace.
"Aww.. Look at those.. Why can't we have fine men on horses in Toronto?"
"Oh I dunno Mase, Tommy used to ride when he was younger."
"REALLY!" Speed yelled sarcastically. "Jude we all know about his younger years, Lil Tommy Q couldn't keep it in his pants.. Ooh big surprise there. Saddle up Big boy!" Speed yelled as he snatched Mason's cowboy hat, earning a few curious and some annoyed glances from the general public. Mason sniffed indignantly and took his hat back, brushing it off and placing it on his head again.
"No bareback, he rode bareback." She replied missing the second meaning completely.
"Okay, let's share Tommy's possible STI issues with the world, Jude!" Speed laughed out, really loud."Didn't your dad ever teach you to wrap-it-up!!"
"What are you? …Oh gross speed! Bareback as in no saddle on the horse. Your sick!" She hit him hard on the shoulder but the SME boys only stop their giggling when Tommy stepped forward and rolled up his sleeve. They all shut up pretty quickly then.
Masons falsetto broke the evil glares the boys were receiving from Tommy.
"We're here!!!" He cried causing everyone to look in there direction. Sure enough they had arrived in Piccidily Circus.
"Dude… where are we? There's no train??" Wally asked with confusion as he looked around as if expecting one to pop up out of thin air.
"Dude, don't worry, it's probably running late or something." Kyle replied mimicking Kyles actions.
"Trains don't run late dude… Maybe it was hijacked!" Speed retorted excitedly.
Tommy stared at the group disbelievingly at their sheer lack of anything close to common sense. A few chuckles were heard from passers by that happened to catch their loud conversation.
"Uh dumb, dumber and Dumbest, I just hate to point out how stupid you are," he said with sarcasm. "But see these steps.. You go down them.. That is why they call it the underground as it is under. Ground!" He used hand gestures and spoke slowly as if to a group of children. Jude pushed him lightly and they all descended the steps into the dark dank depths below.
"Be nice" Jude whispered into his ear.
"Jude, come on, it's not like underground trains are even a foreign concept, we have them back home! They're so.." he was unable to finish his sentence because Jude elbowed him.
A squeal of distaste escaped Mason. As the group took in their surroundings Tommy took note not to sit or touch anything and warned Jude the same.
The group were standing on the crowded platform awaiting their train. Havoc surrounded them, people shouting she saw a homeless man sitting to the side playing an extremely untuned guitar, his voice was much worse.
My favourite shoes so good to me
I wear them everyday
Down at the heel, holes in the toe
Don't care what people say
My feet's best friend, pals to the end
With them I'm one hot chicky
"Did he just say chicky? Dudes a dude? Right?" Wally asked amused, as the group all inclined their heads to get a better view in order to answer the question.
"Hmm could swing both ways.." Speed replied seriously.
Though late one night
not much light
I stepped in something icky
SME broke into hysterical laughter. The onslaught continued and Tommy threw the man a 20 in an attempt to shut him up. No such luck. The homeless.. Person looked up indignantly and proceeded to play of tone.
When I play, I play for me
I don't need your charity
La lalala lalalalalalala
lalala lalala lalalalalalala...
Speed laughed and reached out to take the twenty back when the man ran off.
"Guess he did need the charity then?" Kyle said as he watched the man run off.
"Actually, in my guide it says busker's are not permitted." Mason said as he snapped his gum flicking through the pages like a teenage girl.
"I'll show him where he can stick that guide in a minute.." Speed whispered to Kyle who smirked in response.
"This is like weird surreal-ness Dudes!" Kyle interupted.
Wally and Speed stared at their friend.
"I mean it's like, weird, different world like, dudes.." Kyle reinterpreted.
"Yeah! Jude, Tommy and Mase are all here yet we are the ones that run in with all the freaky people." Speed finished and Tommy commented.
"Birds of a feather…" Jude laughed Mason snorted while the boys looked at them with confusion.
"That look is just natural for you guys isn't it?" Tommy asked amused.
"Yeah it's their signature I-have-no-idea look." Jude added through her giggles.
"Girls dig it!" Wally yelled. If by the looks some of the surrounding females meant anything, it would be safe to assume his statement was wrong.
"Hey, you hear that?" Speed asked.
"The sound of stinky people arguing over… Sandwiches?" Jude asked as she continued to stare at a pair of homeless people fighting over a half eaten discarded sandwich. Tommy looking in the direction she was and chuckled lightly.
"No, The sound of MUSIC!"
"The movie?" Kyle asked. Jude and Tommy heard the sound to and they dispensed through the crowd until they ended up close to the back wall. A group of men in their early 20's were preparing to sing. Speed cheered and this caused many other people to look at what was happening.
(London's underground- the streets)
(To the tune of going underground)
Some people might like to get a train to work
Or drive in, in a Beemer or a Merck.
Some guys like to travel in by bus
But I can't be bothered with the fuss
Today I'm gonna take my bike
Coz once again the tubes on strike
The greedy bastards want extra pay for sitting on their ass all day
Even though they earn thirty K
So I'm standing here in the pouring rain
WHERE THE FUCKS MY FUCKIN' TRAIN?
Jude laughed as SME bounced up and down cheering loudly.
London underground (London underground)
They're all lazy fucking useless runts
London Underground (London underground)
They're all greedy runts
I wanna shoot them all with a rifle. La la la la.
All they say is "please mind the doors"
And they learn that on the two-day course.
This job could be done by a four year old
They just leave us freezing in the cold
The men received angry looks from some of the workers but continued playing regardless.
What you see is what you get
Burger king and piss and sweat
Tommy silently agreed, this place really did smell awful.
You roast to death in the boiling heat
With tourists treading on your feet
The men spared a glance over to SME and Mason who seemed to be thoroughly enjoying themselves.
And chewing gum on every seat
So don't tell me to mind the gap
I WANT MY FUCKING MONEY BACK!
Speed joined in on the last line and yelled loud. His and Wally, Kyle and even Masons dance moves getting even more hilarious as the song progressed.
London underground (London underground)
They're all lazy fucking useless runts
London Underground (London underground)
They're all greedy runts
I wanna shoot them all with a rifle. La la la (la la la la)
The floors are sticky and the seats are damp
Every platform has a fucking tramp
Speed pointed to Jude and she slapped him and pushed him away from her. Tommy smiled at his girl and pulled her into a tight embrace from behind, softly kissing her temple and snuggling into her hair, inhaling the sweet sent of vanilla, head resting in the crook of her neck.
But the drivers get the day off
When we're all late for work again
London underground (London underground)
Wa-wa-wankers they're all wankers
London underground (London underground)
Take your oyster card and shove it up your asshole.
The music stopped and speed rushed off to talk to the group. Tommy and Jude stood waiting for the train with Mason and the remaining SME boys, Wally and Kyle, who were tired and slightly sticky from sweat, after bouncing up and down and from the heat, it was at least 10 degrees warmer than when in open air.
The train finally arrived and Tommy and Jude stepped onto it hearing calls of "mind the gap."
Jude didn't want to sit on the seat so she pushed Tommy down and sat on his lap, he narrowed his eyes at her sneaky grin. But kissed her forehead lightly to show that he didn't mind. That's when Jude caught sight of a messy head of dirty-blonde hair running towards the train, from the group of singers, trying to get onto the train but the doors slamming shut in his face before he could.
Wally, Kyle and Mason yelling from the other side of the doors, creating havoc.
Jude pushed her head into Tommy's chest. Then moaned to Tommy in an annoyed tone.
"Toooommy…Speed's still out there.." ….
Now this chapter may make London sound slightly bad, that's not what I'm going for really it's just funnier this way. Anyone whose ever been on the underground (any kind of one), granted I've only been a couple of times, will know the experience isn't all that great anyway! London is a great city though!
Will the band and Jude ever make it to their tour bus?? LOL the fun hasn't even begun yet!!
