"Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire."
― George Bernard Shaw
"I'm surprised after our heated discussion that you would want me over to help you bake cookies again." I stated while mixing the dough with his Kitchen Aid Blender.
"I'm surprised that it didn't take much convincing." He poured in the chocolate chips slowly.
"The Cookies are for Carl's class, and if you hadn't put him on the phone, I promise you I wouldn't be here. I would ask you to call Jessie to bake cookies. She can bake can't she?"
"You won't let up?" He crumpled the empty chocolate chip package in his hands.
He stood back from the counter and stepped closer to me. Mr. Grimes was clearly in my personal space and I didn't mind one bit. I thought for a second, based on his proximity I would love for him to kiss me or I just kiss him but he would probably have a stroke.
"You smell like cigarettes. You smoke now?" I deflected off the topic of Jessie.
"I smoke when I am about to break up with someone or have broken up." Mr. Grimes revealed to me.
"You smoke when you-"
"I broke up with Jessie. We are no longer together. I did it today."
"Oh." I went back to mixing the dough.
...
It was the same smell when I was trying to adjust his tie in the GO Stop lobby where the Christmas party was in full swing on the second floor. He had been smoking.
No matter where I was in the party, I found Mr. Grimes watching me. Didn't matter who was trying to engage him in conversation I would find his eyes searching for me, keeping tabs on my whereabouts. Well, I like to dance. I didn't care if there were 20 people or no one on the dance floor, I was going to dance if my song came on and my song playing. Soon the dance area was crowded around me.
Where did you come from lady
And ooh won't you take me there
Right away won't you baby
Tendoroni you've got to be
Spark my nature
Sugar fly with me
Don't you know now
Is the perfect time
We can make it right
Hit the city lights
Then tonight ease the lovin' pain
Let me take you to the max
I want to love you (P-Y-T)
Pretty young thing
You need some lovin' (T-L-C)
Tender lovin' care
And I'll take you there
I want to love you (P-Y-T)
Pretty young thing
You need some lovin' (T-L-C)
Tender lovin' care
And I'll take you there
Nothin' can stop this burnin'
Desire to be with you
Gotta get to you baby
Won't you come, it's emergency
Cool my fire yearnin'
Honey, come set me free
Don't you know now is the perfect time
We can dim the lights
Just to make it right
In the night
Hit the lovin' spot
I'll give you all I got
Michael Jackson
I spent several months adjusting to the fact, or coming to terms with the fact that I wasn't his type. I was living in the friend zone. I began to accept my fate. My fantasies were just that-fantasies. I was secretly going out with Tyrese from the mailroom. I was determined to get my groove back. Tyrese hadn't made it past a kiss on the cheek, but I was going to relax a bit more, and let him make his move. I wasn't going to dodge him when he did try to lean in to smooch.
I had also realized, I have spent a lot of time focused on Mr. Grimes and his children that I may have missed out on opportunities to cultivate relationships of my own that did not hinge on him and his family. I mean he had girlfriends (hookups) and a fiancee since I have known him. Time to stop wasting time.
I was aware that I was taking advantage of his weakened state when I turned and found him on the dance floor ready to grab my hand.
"You dance?" I asked surprised.
"You want too?" He asked me.
"I didn't know you could," I stated.
"Liquid courage." Mr. Grimes revealed.
I watched him do a nice, simple two-step before I joined in and followed his lead. Soon the upbeat music changed to a slower more seductive tune, and it did not discourage him as I had anticipated. I felt myself go back to square one. I wanted to be his, and every scenario such as this played in my mind. I was setting the stage.
Before I knew it words were leaving my lips into his ear, "We are flirting."
"We are dancing, Michonne." Mr. Grimes responded quietly.
"To admit-"
"Would be a change in our dynamics. I need you in my office. I need you on my team. I need you..." He tapered off. He was vulnerable and for a moment it was right there in his blue eyes staring into my brown ones.
"You know I am with you in whatever arrangement." I wanted to reassure him.
There was no way that he didn't feel the electricity between us. He brushed his cheek against mine or maybe I was the one to touch mine against his. He held my hand, and his other was on my waist before it moved to the small of my back. I made sure he felt me as I danced as close as possible to him. He didn't try to give us space that would have provided the right appearance of being more appropriate. We were both being inappropriate.
"You know people are going to talk after this." I spoke softly into his ear.
"The year I danced." He declared lightly, amused.
"You may have a line start-up." I had a sense he was still smiling.
"I'm not dancing with anyone else after this." His tone indicated his mind was made up.
"You know you will have to make it seem that I am not special, Mr. Grimes." I informed him.
"What I am trying to do is remove any residual pissivity that you may have with being the designated driver. By the way I do have other motives to why I am dancing with you and only you tonight."
"Oh, darn I thought we were about to take this thing that has been happening between us to the forever haze zone. Trying to stay all close to me had me thinking lines were going to blur."
"I've been close to you before, Michonne."
"And?"
"It will soon be awkward like after this dance."
"You just don't get me." I couldn't hide the disappointment in my voice.
"I get you. You have been trying to give yourself to me for some time now."
"Just imagine if I'd made it known without question."
"It's what you have been doing for some time, lady."
"You knew this and-"
"I told you it was inappropriate."
"Then. How about now?"
"That's what I don't get about you, Michonne."
"Your lower half isn't confused."
"That's because you are very close to me at this point."
"Stop talking. I like to think you are sober and you just came to your senses about me, not some drunken epiphany."
"I am slightly drunk, and before we came to the party, I told you I liked your dress."
"You like my dress or me in the dress?"
"I like your dress, Michonne. You are breathtaking tonight. I can't remember precisely a time where you haven't looked well put together."
"It's my sexier than last year dress."
"Your last year dress was sexy; I must admit this is sexier on you."
"You are an unusual drunkard."
"I am not fully drunk. I will let you get away with the name calling for tonight because I plan to live up to your expectations."
"I'm going to find me a man, Mr. Grimes."
"What am I?"
"I am going to find someone." I declared.
"Okay."
"Okay? I wasn't looking for you to agree. I was making a statement. Declaring that once I take you home, I am going to find a life."
"What's going on, now?" He was exasperated with me again.
"Proclaiming from my lips to your ear is what I am doing."
"You are finding ways to sober me. I don't want to be at a Christmas Party with people I don't really know, don't really care to know, when I could be doing something much more amusing."
"Like what?"
"Playing Candy Crush. I am at level 73."
The music changed to a more rhythmic tune. We were certainly going to be the talk of the office. Many stopped dancing and became spectators. Liquid courage he says. Mr. Grimes had quite a bit of rhythm and I was dying to know how it translated into the bedroom. I broke a way from him and began to move my hips and body and he showed everyone including me that he wasn't a shabby dancer at all. Playing House:
This is getting tough, sitting here waiting for you,
And I think you've had enough, cause I know it's hard,
This is going on, going on for way too long,
I think you wanna know, I just can't wait
Ooh, I'm trying to find you,
Ooh, I'm trying to reach you girl
I don't even know, just what I want
Ooh, I'm trying to find you,
Ooh, I'm trying to reach you girl
I don't even know, just what I want
Maybe we're just playing house,
Just cause it feels good
Baby we're just playing house,
Just cause it feels good
That don't make it good for anybody,
Don't wanna be in love just with anybody,
I'm tired being just Mr. Anybody,
So baby come with me, let's just make a body
Between us, I need you to see me,
Girl been waiting, please tell me you need it
When you go I will always be there,
Ooh, I'm trying to find you,
Ooh, I'm trying to reach you girl
I don't even know, just what I want
Ooh, I'm trying to find you,
Ooh, I'm trying to reach you girl
I don't even know, just what I want
Maybe we're just playing house,
Just cause it feels good
Just cause it feels good
Just cause it feels good
Just cause it feels good...
Just cause it feels good...
Active Child
