Don't Fear the Reaper
Well, got my first flame for any story in chapter three, and I've got to say one thing:
IT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!
Seriously, the guy thought he knew everything that was going to happen in the story. News flash people: DON'T JUMP TO FUCKING CONCLUSIONS!!! And that goes exspecially true with me! Here let me show you what the guy said. The Bolded words in between his paragraphs are my coments on what he says.
okay he knows every thing that happend in the leaf village how else can you explain how he knew all that stuff about hinata's father
(apparently, this guy doesn't read author's notes. Naruto doesn't know what the hell has been happening in the village and how he found out about Hinata's father is just my own little spice to the Penance Stare. Like the Ghost Rider when he's around the sinful, he automatically moves to deal them their punishment, but unlike the Ghost Rider, those same sinners get a listing of their crimes like anyone who's going to be executed in real life.)
he knows who his parents are
(I only mentioned his father! And besides, Naruto's dead, his dad's dead, would it not make sence to have them meet? His mother, however, is explained in this chapter.)
he has the kyuubi for a sensei
(I know I didn't say anything about what the fox is going to train him in so I'll say it now, Kyuubi was a HUGE fucking fox who could switch between his fox form and a human form on a whim. If he ever felt threatened, then he could have transformed and crushed that threat instantly, so he had no use for Nin, gen, or taijutsus. He only knows chakra control and that's it.)
he can kill who every wants
(the only reason he was able to kill Hiashi was because of three things. Surprise, shock, and terror. I mean, how would YOU feel if you just found out the Harvester of the Dead was real, was standing right in front of you, and was threating to kill you? I don't know about you, but I'd be scared shitless!)
the village hates him (which i think is boeges he's not gaara the village only inored him not beat him i hate when people over exaggerate that)
(no real argument here. Yes he was only ignored in the cannon, but that exageration is only to further "spice up" the story for the readers.)
wow all of what i gathered leads me to belive this is going to be a boring story
(wow, all of what I gathered from that single sentence leads me to believe he's a simple minded, dick-faced fucktard.)
what next are you going to have him and hinata come back and be a genin (yay that make a lot of sence super powered naruto who can beat kage level ninja is going to become a genin i can't belive authers right bull crap like that) your going to put naruto hinata and shino on a team with kurenai as the sensei , a of kiba sasuke sakura and ino bashing alot of other character bashing and killing more main character like hinatas dad , then there going to do the wave mission and then the chuunin exams both with miner changes narutos going to kick sound and oro-chan's ass make sand an friend mix all that with naruto getting a harem (if your wondering how i know its a harem its because why else would you descride him as hansome and sexy) mix that with reaper powers
(Who the hell said they were coming back to Konoha? A super powered Naruto? As if! Sure, he might be invincable in his reaper form, his cloak may be like a suit of plate armor made of cloth towards many small time threats in the ninja world, but remember that all forms of armor have some form of weakspot, and as for the reaper form invulnerability? "Every action has a consequence." The bashing? There isn't going to be any because there's no need to do so. The Main character killing? Not happening, though I might have something planned for Naruto if I and the polls decide to make him a good guy. Him being powerful enough to take down Orochimaru? Sure he might give a hard fight, but I plan to have him weaker than one would think. The harem? Not gonna happen, I made it that way because I wanted to have him with Hinata and Hinata only, not because I wanted him to do every beautiful woman in the Elemental Nations! Come on people, what do you take me for, a freeking noob? I've been writing multiple kinds of stories for years, this is just one of the first stories I've decided to make public!)
IN CONCLUTION THE STORY IS GOING TO SUCK!
(In conclusion, naruto/champ987 is an ass! If you're reading this naruto/chump, then up yours!)
Chapter 4
Hinata slowly came to the land of the awake to the feeling of someone lovingly stroking her hair. She felt peaceful because of it and tried to snuggle into it. It brought back old yet good memories. Experiences that she hadn't felt since her mother died two years ago.
"Hina-chan…" a distant voice called to her.
'Heh, I must really miss my mother because this dream is getting so real that I'm starting to hear her,' she thought. Scrunching up her face, she tried to stay asleep. But the rhythmic strokes and the voice of the mother wouldn't allow it.
"Hina-chan, Tenshi (angel, I think), wake up sweetie, or I'm going to force you awake…" the voice left the threat hanging. Hinata answered by simply rolling over. The stroking stopped and Hinata heard a sigh.
The voice then said in an evil, playful tone, "You don't leave me much choice then, Tenshi." Hinata's pupil-less, lavender eyes shot open as a pair of hands grabbed the sides of her stomach and started to tickle her. She started to thrash about, trying to get whoever was tickling her to stop, all the while laughing her head off. The hands let go of her and after letting out a last few giggles, Hinata looked up at the face of her 'attacker'.
What she saw made her pause in shock, tears forming in her eyes.
Hitomi Hyuuga, the first medical ninja from the Hyuuga clan. Considered one of the three "Konoha Angels", three medical kunoichi of massive beauty who treated everyone's wounds during the war, whether they are enemies, allies, or neutral. Once Hinata's mother, but died by her own husband's hand after giving birth to Hanabi Hyuuga. If memory said she was beautiful before her death, now Hinata thought her mother looked like an angel with her other worldly glow.
"Mother…" Hinata whispered in disbelief. Her tears were now overflowing as she continued to look at her parent. Hitomi wrapped her arms around Hinata, laying her daughter's head on her shoulder, now crying openly as well.
"Shh… it's alright Hina-chan, I'm here. Go ahead and cry, baby, it's alright. Mom's here…" Hitomi said, rocking her daughter back and forth. Hinata wrapped her arms around her mother and closed her eyes as her sobs grew in strength.
"Mother… Mom… Mommy…" Hinata sobbed harder as she tightened her grip on her mother, like she was the only thing in the world important to her; and at the moment, she probably was.
As this heart wrenching moment happened, two pairs of eyes watched it from the doorway. The Shinigami knocked softly on the door frame, causing Hitomi to look up at him, tears still falling in large amounts from her eyes. The Shinigami nodded to her before speaking to her in a soft voice.
"I'm sorry for interrupting, we'll leave for now. When you're done, bring her out to the living room, alright?"
She nodded and hugged her daughter tighter. The Death God put a hand on Naruto's shoulder and pulled him away. Naruto followed without complaint or resistance, feeling a small tinge of jealousy while thinking about the scene he had just witnessed.
They reached the living room and the Shinigami turned to look at him. "Naruto, I need to hear what happened, word for word, alright?" Naruto nodded, launching into his story. He started with when he started feeling the tugs a month ago. He told him about being forced onto Earth again, Hinata's 'fight' with her father, his sending of Hiashi to Hell with his newly named 'Penance Stare', and ending with his talk with Sarutobi.
Death stayed quiet throughout the entire tale. He stared at Naruto intently, lost in his own thoughts. When the tale ended, silence filled the room. Death was gnawing on the handle of his kodachi as he stroked his chin, deep in thought.
"What's wrong, sensei?"
"It's unusual. You've proven to me that humans can do amazing things, but I thought it was only after death. Humans, well, living humans, shouldn't have the power to bring the spirits of the dead back to Earth. Of course, those people who call themselves 'gypsies' and the like can sense and hear the dead, but they can't actually bring them from the great beyond. All those so called 'spirits' that people see are just cheap theatrics. But we'll study this at a later time. For now, describe this new move of yours, this… 'Penance Stare' as you call it."
"Well… it's complicated… when I was in my Reaper form, I looked into his eyes and saw in my mind all the moments he sinned and heard his thoughts and felt his feelings. I wasn't thinking of saying them, but I practically shouted in detail what he did in his life before I said, 'Your soul is stained by the blood of the innocent. May your soul burn in Hell as you feel their pain.' My chakra forced him to look into my eyes and I felt something start ripping his soul out. He started screaming in pain for a moment before I released his body, dead with eyes like burnt coals."
Naruto gave an unconscious shiver as he remembered the face Hiashi had after that. He felt a small amount of pity for the man but that was immediately smashed when he remembered exactly how the man got what he did. His thoughts then slipped back to the moment he saw earlier. Was that what it was like to have a mother?
"Hey sensei?" Naruto asked, something dawning on him. (Heh, really slow, aren't you Naruto? You'll see what I mean.)
"What is it?"
"I met Dad already, and I thank you for that, but… what happened to my Mother?" Death Cringed a little when he asked that, but then sighed, relaxing his posture in sadness.
"I'm sorry Naruto, but your mother is still alive. Damnit, I wish you had asked this later in life…! I'm sorry, but after the Kyuubi was sealed, she let her grief cloud her judgment."
"Let me guess, she saw me as the Kyuubi incarnate, didn't she?"
"Yes, I'm sorry." Naruto sighed.
"It's not your fault sensei. It hurts right now but I'll get over it. Besides, she'll see me one day, weather she likes it or not. Hopefully I'll set her straight then, or…" he left the last part hanging, not needing to say anything about the possibly uncontrollable power of his Reaper form.
They turned to look at the hallway entrance as Hitomi and Hinata walked through. Hinata, with a truly happy and carefree smile on her face, had her arms wrapped around her mother's waist and her head resting on her side, just above her hips and just below her ribs. They strode in, matching step for step. Hitomi had one hand on her daughter's shoulder as she clutched her tighter to her as well.
Naruto took one look at Hinata and turned around, trying to hide the blush. In life he never had seen her before, but after he died, and after he got over Sakura in his recent visit home, his six year old mind now thought she looked kind of cute. Despite the tear trails, the smile that graced her lips made her look even cuter to him. Death saw this out of the corner of his eyes and had to stifle his laughter. He needed to be serious if he wanted to make a good impression. He would just file this moment away for teasing later. (A little young, I know, but it'll develop slowly, I promiss.)
He cleared his throat to catch everyone's attention. "Now that we're all here, we need to talk. Go ahead and have a seat you two," he said to the two Hyuugas. They both nodded and Hinata let go of Hitomi's waist, only to grab onto her arm as they sat net to each other on the two person wide couch.
Naruto attempted to school his features but still had a small tint to his cheeks as he plastered a semi-emotionless frown on his face. His cloak snaked its way over to the coat hanger to hang itself by its hood. He leaned up against the wall to the side, looking at the meeting with a hidden interest. Death nodded at him and began.
"Alright, let's begin. I am the Shinigami, or the Death God. You've already met my apprentice and soon to be… harvester… on Earth, Naruto, and a resident of Heaven, Hitomi, your mother, Hinata."
"So I'm dead…"
"No, you're not dead child. Allow me to explain. Five months ago, Naruto died and I brought him here to limbo, as you know. You see, I explained to him what happed and why his village seemed to hate him so. It angered him beyond belief and for some reason allowed him to transform. Naruto?"
Naruto nodded to him before standing up. He summoned his cloak over to him and it pulled itself over him. His head came through the head hole transformed into that of a skull's. Hitomi gasped in surprise and Hinata shivered in fear, remembering what exactly that form did to her 'father'.
"You see, no soul of any kind has ever held this kind of power so I believe that Naruto may either be a new god, or a new demi-god in the making. Thank you Naruto, you may take it off now."
"Yes sensei," Naruto said, his deep, malicious voice reverberating around the room. His cloak rose again before slithering back to the coat rack.
"I took him on as my apprentice and I have been training him, along with others whom I've deemed as worthy, in the basics of the future skills he'll need, for the five months since then. Yesterday, you seemed to have pulled him from here to the world of the living by your will alone, something even a god has difficulty doing, Hinata. Now I see that Naruto wanted me to train you as well for varying reasons, but I can only train the souls of the dead in the ways of death…"
"WHAT!?! YOU CAN'T SEND HER BACK SENSEI, THOSE BASTARDS IN THE HYUUGA CLAN, no offence, WILL KILL HER IF YOU DO!!!" Naruto shouted, only pausing and lowering his volume to apologize to the two Hyuuga present.
Death held up a hand, "Easy… I never said I was going to send her back. I said that I couldn't teach her the ways of death, but I know someone who can teach her the ways of life."
"Wh-who Shinigami-sama?" Hinata stuttered.
Death smiled around his kodachi, "Why, my sister Myoumegami, of course."
"Do you think she'll take Hinata-chan as an apprentice?" Naruto asked. Hinata blushed that her crush finally called her 'chan', making both Hitomi and Death to secretly share an evil grin with each other. Death started laughing.
"Naruto, when she pulled you back to Earth, she practically revived you herself! How does it feel to be alive again, boy?" Naruto raised two fingers up to his neck and, sure enough, his pulse was beating strongly. "Still think she isn't going to take Hinata on?"
"Does she get any say in this?" Hitomi asked.
"She does, but despite that, if she does accept becoming Kami's apprentice, she will have no say in training time, training ways, or training subjects. Kami pushes any apprentices she takes on hard, to near death even! She's a kind spirited one but she has very high expectations for end effort. Do you still wish to continue?"
"Yes, I-I do. Fa- Hiashi-san was no different." She had started to say 'father' but corrected herself when she remembered what he had done to ruin her life and what he did even before that.
"Rest easy child, Kami is nothing like that heartless bastard. She will push you hard to rise in skill, not shove you off confidence cliff. Now, it'll take at least a month to get her from her job, so in the mean time I summoned your mother to teach you her own version of the Jyuuken style if she would like."
"Hai, I'll teach her Shinigami-dono."
"Alright, now then, Naruto! I believe it's time for your chakra control training. Go ahead outside and meet with Kyuubi."
"*Groan* Yes sensei."
A.N.
Done! That went very well in my opinion.
Now, before people start thinking that I'm going to do what I did to naruto/chump up there to every flame I recieve, allow me to explain myself.
I knew I was going to get SOME form of a flame since even before I started writing fanfiction for a future author's profile like the one I have now. It's not because I wanted to put naruto/champ on the spot, but because I realized I might have written some information down in an unclear way or I may have left out the information entirely.
...And maybe to warn ya'll to not fuck with me without a good reason...
I know what I did was probably wrong or mean in some way, but I see what I did as a nessicary evil to better explain my plans without giving it all away.
With that said, I'll see you around.
Sarge, out.
UPDATE:
A kind reviewer (ConnectFire611) gave me the Japanese translation for "Life Goddess" as I asked before, so I've replaced "the Kami" with Myoumegami.
Also, I've taken a few (Not all) of the author's comments out of the story after getting a lot of complaints.
