This one is a funny to give you all a chuckle. Remember to read Never say Goodbye and to review at the bottom! There is a lil bit of swearing so you've been warned.
"Talking"
:Comm link:
'Thinking'
'If payback's a bitch and revenge is sweet, I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet.' -By unknown
Megan was feeling unusually happy as she skipped through the halls of NEST, but she had a good reason to be. Mirage had promised to take her swimming at a forest lake with Sam, Mikayla, and Bumblebee where it was secluded enough for the bot's to be in their bi-pedal form if they wanted. Mirage had even asked Optimus for the time off his busy schedule to take her. The small bag of her things bounced against her hip as she bounced along.
Megan whistled a merry tune as she made her way to the main hanger, waving to some of the soldiers she knew as she passed. Bumblebee, Sam and Mikayla were already there with a large packed lunch and a couple of towels ready to go. Bumblebee had both the teenagers perched on his knees as they talked among themselves. Bee was the first to see Megan walk in and chirped a greeting, Sam turned and greeted her as well.
"Hey Megan, you ready to go?"
"Yup, got all my things right here. Any idea where Mirage is?"
"I think he might have gone to tell Ratchet you'll be missing your check-up." Mikayla said after a moments thought.
"Oh, right. That was today, well even better that we're getting off base then." Megan smiled.
The four of them laughed at that. No one really liked a check-up from Ratchet, but Megan actually didn't mind them too much. The mech was like a larger, slightly gruffer, metal version of her worrywart of an aunt. Though the grumpy CMO often gave his fellow Autobots a good dent for their stupidity, he was incredibly careful with the humans in his care. It was one of the reasons Megan trusted the mech as much as she did, because she could tell he cared, though he didn't show it.
"It's strange though, he's always on time." Megan said as she glanced at her watch.
The time said 12:06 and they had agreed to meet at the main hanger at noon. Mirage would usually be the first mech at any meeting place. No matter hell or high water, if Mirage said he was gong to be somewhere he was there, so Megan had a niggling feeling that something was wrong.
"Hey Bee, could you comm Mirage? Ask him where he is?"
Bee nodded and tilted his head to one side as his optics dimmed for a moment. When his optics brightened again he made a worried clicking noise and used a radio clip of a little girl saying 'uh oh'.
"Bee? What's the matter?"
Bumblebee looked nervous, and rubbed his helm before replying in his normal voice.
"It would seem that Mirage has been put in the brig."
Megan blinked a few times, trying to first understand what Bee had said, then trying to make the mental image of Mirage in the brig work. Finally it clicked at Megan came up with the proper response.
"WHAT!?"
Megan stormed away from the main hanger like a thundercloud, her previous good mood all but a memory. There was no whistling now and soldiers who saw her coming were careful to stay out of her way as she approached the brig. The guard on duty merely nodded politely and opened the door for her.
She marched over to the holding cells, planted her feet and glared at her large red mech, who actually had the decency to look at least slightly ashamed. There was a moment of silence, except for the hum of energon bars, Megan arched an eyebrow at Mirage's petulant look.
"Care to explain yourself?"
"Megan, it really-"
"I mean if you really didn't want to go you just had to say something."
"You don't understand I-"
"So did you play along just to get my hopes up?"
"Megan-"
"Or were you planning to do this from the beginning?"
"Megan-"
"Then again you could say you weren't and how would I know I'm just-"
"MEGAN!"
A pause in the storm, Megan waited for a moment, giving Mirage a chance to explain himself. Mirage vented a sigh before speaking.
"First of all, I was looking forward to getting off base. Secondly; in my defence I am not in here of my own doing, not entirely anyway." Mirage glared at the cell opposite his own.
Megan had been so angry she hadn't even noticed that Mirage wasn't in the brig alone, he had two twin terrors for company. Sideswipe was laying on the large shelf that doubled as a berth his hands behind his head and a smirk of satisfaction on his face. Sunstreaker was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, completely ignoring them all, which was normal. Megan narrowed her eyes at the duo.
"Well, that explains a lot. What did you two do this time?"
Megan was not at all fooled by the innocent widening of Sideswipes optics.
"Who us? We are just as innocent here."
"Ya, right. You two haven't been innocent since the day you were sparked." Megan scoffed.
"I'm afraid to say that they managed to trick me." Mirage sighed.
"How?" Megan was surprised. Mirage was next to impossible to trick, let alone prank. So how had the twins managed it and gotten him stuck in the brig?
"I was in a bit of a rush to get to the med bay to cancel your check-up with Ratchet and still make it to the main hanger in time. Wheeljack sent the twins with the request to borrow my holo-emitter, they were to take it directly to him. He wanted to try his hand at modifying the tech so other bots can use it as well."
"And you just gave it to them? Are you out of your processor?"
"That's what Ratchet asked." Mirage muttered.
"What did they do with it?" Megan pinched the bridge of her nose, dreading the answer. The fact that Mirage was hesitating was only making it worse.
"Before I could find them they had managed to used it to put on part of a strip show for the soldiers in the cafeteria. Using holograms of Lennox and Epps, primarily."
Megan's jaw dropped in astonishment. She really regretted skipping lunch now, and a small part of her was wondering who had a video of the event and where she could get one. The larger part of her was too busy being ticked off at the twins for dragging Mirage into it to be amused. That half of her only grew larger as she heard Sideswipes snicker behind her. She whirled around and glared into the bot's amused optics.
"The look on their faces was absolutely priceless too. Totally worth getting caught by Prowler and three days in the brig."
"You useless pile of scrap. Mirage and I had plans for today! Now he has to waste his time off because you two glitches made him an unintentional accomplice."
Sideswipe just rolled his optics at her insults, but Sunstreaker's optics narrowed and he stiffened with anger.
"Watch it femme." He growled. Mirage stiffened at the mech's tone of voice but relaxed knowing the yellow bot couldn't do anything while in his cell.
"Don't you femme me, you overgrown can opener." Megan waved a hand dismissively, also knowing she was safe from Sunstreaker's anger while behind energon bars.
"She's right Sunny. After all, she doesn't much look like a femme does she?" Sunstreaker caught on to his brother's insult easily.
"No she doesn't. Her hair follicles are as short as a mech's and her curves are far to small." Sunstreaker was now also wearing a smirk similar to his brother's.
Mirage noticed the dangerous calm in his charge and quietly backed up from the bars of his cell, leaving the twins to her mercy. He didn't want to accidentally bring her wrath down on his own head.
"You. Did. Not. Just call me a boy." She glared at the pair of bots with a venom that was usually reserved for Decepticons and Galloway.
Neither bot seemed to be aware of the danger they were practically calling down on their own helms. Like most women Megan was a little sensitive about her looks. She knew very well she would never be a natural beauty like Mikayla and she was alright with that. However they were mocking things that were not her fault and out of her control, like the short hair and her bodies lack of 'curves'. In short, they were pressing the wrong buttons too far.
Then Sideswipe had the audacity to get up off the berth and lean close to the bars with a mocking smile on his faceplates.
"We. Called. You. A. Boy." He said it slowly, as if she would have problems understanding the words.
Megan's eyes flashed as she leaned close and hissed at the pair. She could feel the anger pooling in her stomach and racing through her blood. She hadn't felt this angry for a while and she didn't see a reason to stop it.
"You two better beg Prowl to make this your new room because when you get out I'm going to make you regret saying that."
The twins were so shocked by her reaction they wisely kept silent until she exited to brig and the door closed behind her. Sideswipe turned to his brother,
"Do you think we went too far?" He sounded a little concerned.
Sunstreaker just shrugged showing he really didn't care, the femme couldn't do anything that bad to them, right? Then they heard a rumbling chuckle coming from Mirage as the mech settled on his own berth.
"You two are so slagged." He chortled.
The twins shared a look. If Mirage, the normally emotionless spy bot, was laughing at the thought of what his charge would do to them, maybe they had pushed the wrong human too far.
Megan stewed as she walked the halls of NEST. She knew she had three days until the twins and Mirage were released. More than enough time to both plan and set up a prank of epic proportions, but she wouldn't be able to do it alone. She made her way to the wreck room where she knew she would find just the bot to help her.
"Hey, Jazz." She called to the silver mech who was lounging on the large metallic 'sofa' engineered for the bot's to relax on. He looked up at the approaching girl with a lopsided grin.
" 'ey lil' lady. What's got your undercarriage in a twist?"
"The twins." She growled, her anger sparked in her eyes again, alerting Jazz just how deep a hole the twins had dug for themselves this time. She took a deep breath and crossed her arms looking up at the Solstice, her eyes now holding a mischievous gleam instead of anger.
"I'm calling in a favor, Jazzman."
Jazz lowered a hand which she immediately climbed onto, he raised her to optic level. Megan didn't know how he could make his visor gleam in such an impish way, but he manage to do it somehow.
"After ya let me use your itunes account, ah course. What did ya have in mind lil' lady?"
Megan let him in on her idea, and the saboteur gave a loud laugh and an evil grin of his own that matched Megan's.
Three days later the twins and Mirage were released from the brig. Mirage refrained from exacting any revenge of his own on the twins, seeing as he was sure his charge would do more than enough to the pair already. The twins weren't very concerned about the angered human, in fact they had all but forgotten the incident. Only the glares she had shot at them while she visited Mirage reminded them that she was ticked with them.
The first thing that Sunstreaker always did after a stay in the brig was head for the wash racks. Sideswipe who could feel the dust collecting in his joints decided to join his brother. They made their way to their shared bunk which had their own private wash racks attached. It was a new feature at NEST since Wheeljack had arrived, though most bots still preferred human carwashes or even a good bucket and sponge bath. Sunstreaker would sooner offline himself with his own blaster before letting a human wash down his alt-form, so wash racks were necessary to at least keep the bot sane.
While Sunny took his sweet precious time, and all the hot water, Sideswipe relaxed on his own berth. Relishing the feeling after having recharged for three days on the uncomfortable ones in the brig. As he relaxed he got an data pack from Jazz. Without a second thought he opened the pack and barked a laugh at what it contained. His brother commed him from the other room.
:What's so funny?:
:Just got a data pack from Jazz. It's a video of our little performance from three days ago. Wanna see?:
:I get the feeling your going to if I want to or not.: Sunstreaker sighed over the link.
Sideswipe forwarded the data pack, being sure to keep a copy of it for himself, and though his brother pretended to be disinterested he could feel his brother's amusement through their bond. Sideswipe kicked his brother out of the wash rack before he could use all the hot water. He had to squeeze the last of the special armor soap out of it's bottle because his brother had almost used it all, again.
:You should go easy on the soap bro. Almost wasn't enough left for me.:
:Quit your whining. I'm not about to let myself go to rust because I didn't take care of my armor.:
:You kidding? Rust would take one look at your bad attitude and run the other way, just like them con's.:
:Damn straight.:
Once both were finished and Sunny was convinced his armor was properly buffed they went to the wreck room to get some energon. The wreck room was full of mech's and soldiers, apparently there was a football game on and the Cybertronian sized TV was the only one big enough for all of them to watch together. A few of the humans noticed the twins precence, mainly Lennox and Epps, who glared at the pair, which of course didn't effect them in the least.
Sunstreaker just wanted to grab his energon and leave quickly but Jazz came up behind them and clapped the mechs on the back. Sunny gruffly shrugged him away afraid of ruining his paint job, but Jazz just kept smiling.
"So Prowler finally let ya two out uh?"
"Not by choice." Sideswipe grinned.
Jazz chuckled at that and stepped away backward from the twins. His smile went from joking to slightly wicked in a spark beat, confusing the twins.
"Ya know yer big mouths and yer little prank pissed off the wrong person." Jazz said teasingly, only confusing the pair further.
"What, you mean Lennox and Epps? Pfft, we ain't afraid of any human." Sunstreaker said scathingly.
"Nope, ya thinking of the wrong human. 'ey Megan! It's time."
Megan, who was chatting with Mirage in one of the corners turned an gave a chilling smile. The twins thought back to how she had all but sworn revenge for how they had mocked her for looking more like a mech then a femme of her species. They both started to get a sinking feeling in their tanks. Megan shouted at them across the wreck room, catching a lot of the soldiers attention to the scene as she did so.
"Hey 'Sides, Sunny! This is for calling me a boy!"
She revealed a small controller that looked a lot like a tv remote and pressed the large red button in the middle of it. Both Sideswipe and Sunstreaker suddenly felt a very strong tingling sensation at their backs, right where Jazz had slapped them on the backs. Along with the sensation came a very strong pull that just about yanked them off their peds, but the strangest thing was that the pull was bringing the pair closer together. They tried to fight it but within moments they were stuck back to back more solidly than if they had been welded together that way.
The soldiers, completely forgetting the game, were laughing heartily at the struggling duo. Sunstreaker shook violently shook himself back and forth trying to dislodge his brother but that only succeeded in giving them both a processor ache. Suddenly the soldiers started exclaiming in surprise, whistling and making catcalls.
Megan grinned evilly as the chemical she had 'borrowed' from Wheeljack and slipped into the soap bottle in their wash rack took effect. The chemical, after being added to water and after an hour of completely drying changed the color of whatever it coated. So as Megan watched the pair of stuck twins quickly began to turn a horrible shade of hot pink that all but burned the eyes to look at.
Sunstreaker noticed with a gasp as his precious yellow paint began to change. Megan saw this as the signal to strike with the coup de grĂ¢ce and hit the second largest button on the remote. Which activated the dormant virus that Jazz had helped her to plant in the data pack he had sent them earlier. It was a harmless virus, seeing as it only modified their vocal processors.
"MY PAINT!"
A very feminine screech came from Sunny's vocal processor. The soldiers cracked up at the sound and sight of a hot pink Sunstreaker screaming like a girl who had just discovered a broken nail. A few of them were even on the floor at this point, tears streaming down their faces. The twins had mocked her for looking like a boy, so she had essentially turned the pair into femmes.
At the press of a button both Sunstreaker's and Sideswipes voices had been changed to sound like high voiced teenage girls. Sunstreaker went nuts, literally seeing red and trying to get at Megan and Jazz in the far corner of the wreck room. Unfortunately for him though Sideswipe dragged him down, the normally graceful twins fell in a heap of girlish screams and hot pink. Sideswipe was giggling like a little girl, far to amused with how his voice sounded, and trying to calm his brother at the same time.
It took an hour to calm the upset Sunstreaker and get the pair into the med bay. Megan had hidden the remote so the twins would have to suffer in the med bay. At least until Ratchet could wipe out the virus and deactivate the powerful electric magnets that kept the pair stuck together. The twins had naturally tried to point out Megan as the perpetrator of the prank.
But with Megan denying their claim, Jazz and Mirage giving her an alibi and the security tapes mysteriously missing (thanks to a certain saboteur) there was no solid proof of the twins claim. Prowl had interrogated some of the soldiers trying to find the culprit, but none of the soldiers were stupid enough to give Megan away. When Prowl had finally given up she had gotten many pats on the back from approving soldiers. Especially Lennox and Epps, both of which had taken great pleasure in the twins humiliation.
" 'lil lady, it was pleasure working with ya." Jazz extended a finger for her to shake.
"The pleasure was all mine. It wouldn't have gone nearly as smoothly without you Jazzman."
"Nah, ye would ah found a way. I best be goin', I got a patrol shift to get to. Ah'll see ya later lil' lady." Jazz swaggered off with a wink and was gone.
Megan leaned back into her guardian, completely content and feeling very smug at having gotten her revenge on the terror twins. Mirage looked down on his charge with a new-found respect. Who knew such a little femme could have that big of a revenge streak in her.
"Remind me to never get on your bad side." He muttered.
"You'll be fine. As long as you never mock me by calling me a boy." She grinned evilly up at him.
The two settled against each other in the now quiet wreck room, admiring calm after the storm together.
"Hey, Mirage?"
"Yes?"
"Did you manage to get it all on video?"
"Every second of it."
"Excellent."
Mwahahahaha! Revenge is sweet indeed. Just to warn you guys that the plot bunnies have attacked but many of them I cannot post at this time because they reveal to much for 'Never say Goodbye'. Eventually they will be posted so just be patient and read NSG, k? As always remember to read and review!
