Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars, the characters, story lines or anything related to the television show.
AN: You guys are so smart! You figured out what was coming next. Or, maybe I'm just becoming too predictable? No, all of you are super smart! Thanks so much for the interaction and feedback.
Choices: How to Make a Life - Chapter 4 - The Long Road, Part I
Making her way toward baggage claim, Veronica took a deep breath. She adjusted the hem of her shirt, fixed her smile and walked toward the luggage carousels. There he was, leaning against a column and waiting for her. Her smile widened and became completely genuine. It's so good to see you.
"Dad. Dad!" Veronica ran toward him just as he saw her through the crowd. He met her in front of the escalator and hugged her tightly, spinning around several times.
"Oh, Veronica," he said as he tried to catch his breath. "I missed you, daughter."
"Me, too." She pulled away and smiled hugely at him. "Me, too."
They talked and laughed easily as they gathered her bags and fought their way through the crowd toward the parking lot.
"I want to know everything, everything," he demanded as they pulled onto the interstate. "Begin at the beginning."
"Dad, relax. We have plenty of time. And, besides, we talked several times a week all summer. You know everything. Right now," she said as she patted his arm across the seat, "I want to know about Alicia."
Keith rolled his eyes, shaking his head in resignation.
"Alright. I'm assuming you aren't letting this go." Veronica stared at him expectantly, shaking her head. "So, I might as well spill it if I ever want to get anything about your summer out of you."
She nodded with a big smile.
"O.k. Alicia and I ran into each other right after both you and Wallace left this summer."
He continued the story - most of which she had already heard from Wallace. But, she wanted to hear it from her Dad. He was happy; really happy.
Veronica leaned back in the passenger seat and closed her eyes as her Dad continued the story of his rekindled romance with her best friend's Mom.
Maybe a Mars really can find a happy ending in Neptune.
Veronica and her father spent the entire weekend together, catching up. Even still, she could tell he was having a difficult time leaving her to go to work Monday morning.
"So, you guys are spending the day here?" He cleaned up his breakfast dishes as he asked her the question for the third time.
She had gone over her day's social plan several times already with him, but she knew he was just adjusting to having her home. And, he had really missed her.
So, she humored him.
"Yeah, we're planning a whole day of movies, ice cream ... debauchery." She smiled innocently.
Keith glared at her with raised eyebrows. "Not funny, Veronica."
She laughed. "C'mon, Dad. A tiny bit funny?" She held up two fingers, showing her estimation of "a tiny bit."
She walked to the sink and took his bowl from him, setting it down so she could put her arms around his waist. "We'll probably hang out here most of the day. And then, maybe take Backup to the beach. I've missed that."
He hugged her back and kissed the top of her head.
"Sounds like a nice day. Wallace and Mac?"
She nodded, with her head still on his shoulder. She had also told him that three times. She knew who he really wanted to know about - her ex-boyfriend.
Keith pulled away from their hug slightly so he could look into her eyes. "So, just the three of you then, no ..."
She shook her head slowly. "He's not back yet. But, even if he were, I'm not sure he's ready."
He wrapped her back into the hug. "Hmmm ... How're you doing about that?"
She pulled away and busied herself with rinsing his dishes.
"You know, this is a little weird, but I'm really o.k."
She finished her task and leaned against the counter. "I know it will be an adjustment, especially since we share the same friends. But, I really do still care about him. And, l'll be here, to be his friend, whenever he's ready."
Keith nodded and smiled at her. "I'm proud of you, Honey. You're really handling this very maturely."
She nodded thoughtfully as she remembered her last conversation with the boy she cared about, but still hurt. "Yeah, this maturity thing? Kinda sucks."
Flashback
I love New York, she thought wistfully as she stepped off the train. Veronica looked at her watch, calculating the amount of time she had before they would meet.
Piz normally worked evenings, but since this was a holiday weekend, his shift had changed at the last minute.
Her visit to see him was very last minute, too, so she didn't mind that he wasn't free for a few hours. Besides, she loved this city and relished the opportunity to spend a few hours wandering the bustling streets.
Now, where to begin.
In the end, she had spent the four hours until Piz met her eating lunch at a small cafe and sitting in a park. A park she didn't even know the name of.
She laughed when she looked at her watch. "I just wasted four hours in my favorite city doing absolutely nothing," she said as she walked out of the park toward the subway.
She wasn't really upset. This isn't a vacation, she told herself. She had a lot on her mind and wanted to work through everything before she saw him. Piz deserved that much from her.
He had been thrilled when she asked about visiting for the July 4th weekend. He hadn't asked why she suddenly wanted to see him. He never probed. That had been one of the things she had always liked about him. But now, she realized that it was just another way she had forced someone she cared about to conform to her "issues."
"Veronica!" He walked toward her with his arms open wide. "I can't believe you're here," he said as he hugged and kissed her lightly.
They walked down the street, holding hands and talking about their day. It was easy and relaxed, and so much like their relationship that Veronica wanted to cry; well, if she were the crying type.
The whole weekend passed just the same way. They talked and laughed. He took her to his favorite clubs and ranted about the over-commercialization of the music industry. He slept on the couch, sensing that she wasn't ready to rekindle what there had been of their physical relationship.
It was a really nice weekend. So nice, that it was now three hours before her train left and she hadn't done what she came to do.
"So, we still have a few hours. I thought we could go to that music store on ..."
"Piz," she interrupted softly. "We need to talk."
Veronica boarded the train a few hours later. Her heart hurt for her friend. He thought he would never get over her. She knew he would. She had been open and honest, telling him how much she cared about him. But, she assured him, he deserved better than someone who couldn't fully commit to him.
She had realized weeks earlier, after her first encounter with Agent Wentz, that she was using Piz as a sort of "place holder." To be completely honest, she had known this was coming since "the drama" in the Hearst food court two months ago.
Her feelings for him weren't forever kind of feelings. His feelings for her were. They had dated long enough to know that much. That's what made it wrong.
So, after paring away all the excuses and denials, she had known what she had to do. Choices. Decisions. Bit by bit. One by one. She was rebuilding her life.
End Flashback
"I'm sorry, Kiddo," her Dad said as he squeezed her arms gently, but reassuringly. "I know that was a tough thing to do."
"It was," she said sadly. "But, it was also the right thing to do. That's what makes it o.k."
She looked up and switched into her "playful daughter" role. "Now, Daddio," she joked as she moved to the door and opened it for him. "It's off to work you go."
Veronica closed the door after her father left and leaned against it, contemplating her day. She only had two hours before her friends arrived. There were still a few things she wanted to do. A slow smile spread across her face. Decision made, she headed to her room to change.
She was already rethinking her decision as she stood outside his door with her hand raised to knock. He's my friend, she reminded herself. And, I miss him. She knocked.
Logan opened the door, smiling hugely. He was fully dressed, but had wet hair and a towel around his neck.
"Well, Mars," he said as he laughed lightly. "I see you literally came running over to see me."
He pointed at her, taking in her running clothes, iPod and slightly sweat-dampened hair.
"Yeah, well, don't get too full of yourself just yet, Echolls," she joked back. "I'm in a hurry and can't stay. I just wanted to say, 'hello,' and invite you to hang out with us - me, Mac and Wallace - this week."
He looked at her questioningly.
"Alright, I guess you can bring Dick, too. If you must."
He laughed again. "Well, you're in luck. He's not back yet, and won't be until next week."
"Hmmm... that worked out perfectly then, didn't it?" She smiled brightly at him.
"So, when is this 'hanging out' thing happening?"
"Let me talk to them and see what their plans are. But, I was thinking maybe Wednesday we could spend the day at the beach or do something else very California-ish. I've been homesick," she said, holding his gaze.
"Sounds good. Have your people call my people with the details," he smirked at her and leaned in, making a sniffing noise.
"Yeah," he said with disdain. "Don't expect me to give you a 'welcome home' hug like ... that."
"Hey, did you hear me asking for a 'welcome home' hug?" She stuck her tongue out and turned to leave.
Smiling, Logan watched her walk toward the elevator.
"Veronica, wait," he said as he jogged after her. "I guess I can risk it." He grabbed her and hugged her tightly. "Welcome home, Ronnie," he whispered in her ear. "I missed you, too."
VMVMVMVMVMVMVMVM
Veronica eased back into her Neptune life when classes started. Between her full load of challenging coursework, work study job at the library and her part-time work at Mars Investigations, Veronica knew she would be busy. She knew how to do busy. What she didn't know how to do well was balance.
But, she was determined to learn. That's what college is for, right?
And, she was more determined than ever to learn how to balance the important relationships in her life with the work she loved. Agent Wentz had been relentless in his insistence that she hear him on that issue.
Flashback
"You know why it was so easy for me to profile you that day, Mars?"
Her new mentor sounded casual as he moved around the room, setting up for the next seminar. But, she had learned not to trust his tone. He was a master at disguising his emotions and intent in any conversation.
She shook her head.
"It's because I've seen a hundred versions of you over the years." He laughed at her expression. "I know, this is probably a huge blow to your ego. You thought you were completely original with this, 'you against the world' crusade, right?"
She raised her hand in mock deference. "Excuse me. Is it possible to make it through one of of these special teaching moments without you insulting me, Agent Wentz?"
He chuckled. She knew he was actually very fond of her. That's probably the only reason he put up with her sarcasm and barbs.
"Yeah, I don't think so," he snarked back.
"Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah. So, all of you hotshots are from different backgrounds, experiences, etcetera. But, you all have one thing in common - you crave adrenaline."
She interrupted him again. "Haven't we covered this already? Adrenaline? Risk? Bad. I get it."
"Humor me, Mars." He waited to be sure she was finished interrupting him. Convinced that she was, he continued.
"You all seem to only know how to function when everything is amped up - relationships, work performance, personal satisfaction, etcetera are all only at their best when you're in crisis mode." He looked at her, willing her to disagree.
She rolled her eyes, but didn't stop him.
She remembered some crisis moments in her life - a burning refrigerator, a hotel rooftop, a pool table in a seedy bar and a locked dorm room - and she knew his assessment was right.
"The highs are high and the lows are low, Veronica. This works out great for the FBI - they get completely driven agents who are not satisfied in their personal lives or anywhere else except work. Agents working around the clock to solve the case du jour."
He shook his head and pointed at some of the agents in framed photos on the wall. "But, this doesn't work out so well for the people themselves. These agents leave a wake of failed relationships, abandoned spouses and children, and typically end up with vices they wish they didn't have, unhappiness they can't change and regrets they can't shake."
He stopped what he was doing and looked at her with a soft smile. "Trust me, that's no life, Veronica."
She stared back at him, immobilized, soaking in everything he said. She knew he was, once again, describing what could be in her life, too. It was almost too much.
She flung her head back dramatically. "Oh good Lord, remind me again why I come here for these encouragement sessions?"
"Oh, I think we both know why you keep coming back," he said arrogantly.
She looked at him with a curious smile.
"I'm way cheaper than therapy," he said with a smirk.
End Flashback
So, Veronica was intent on nurturing her relationships with the same vigor she poured into her school and work. Howie would be proud, she mused as she planned her schedule for the week.
Tuesdays and Thursdays were quickly becoming her favorite days of the week. She just had one class, her favorite class - "Profiling." After a few hours working in the library, she stopped by the office to send out invoices, do the filing or get a jump on any cases she could finagle from her Dad. And then, Tuesday and Thursday afternoons were spent with her friends. Well, lately it seemed that she spent most of them with one friend in particular. Logan.
Her determination to make time for her friends was a crucial part of the commitment she made to herself during her summer in Virginia. Her friends were important to her and had always been there when she needed them. They deserved more from her than just fleeting texts or phone calls, asking for help with her cases.
Sure, she would still need their help, from time to time. But, she also needed their friendship. And, they needed hers.
Another new wrinkle in her friendship commitment was the inclusion of Logan into this category. He had made efforts to mend fences with Wallace, and even Piz. He and Mac were already friends. He and Parker had even reached a detente. So, his transition to full-fledged friend status within the group was fairly easy.
It was all still a little new for Veronica, though. Since the old, Fab Four days she and Logan had never really just been friends. Sure, they had been enemies. They had been lovers. And, back before they really knew each other, or themselves, they had been innocent friends. Even then, though, their friendship was always shrouded in the shadow of the Kane siblings they loved. This was different.
She and Logan had talked about that during the summer. Surprisingly, they had talked about a lot of things they never had before. That's when they had decided that rebuilding their friendship was important to both of them.
Flashback
"You and Piz ... broke up?" He asked with a hint of something, maybe uncertainty, she thought, in his voice.
She filled him in on her trip and breakup with Piz during a phone chat the Wednesday after her New York trip.
"Yeah. It was the right thing to do. He deserved better than what I was giving him," she explained sadly.
"That's why you went to New York last weekend? Why didn't you tell me that's why you were going?"
"I thought he should know before you did, Logan." She tried to sound exasperated with his question, but her words just sounded like teasing.
"I went because I didn't want to tell him over the phone. And, I didn't want to wait until we both got back to Neptune. I want him to have time to get over me, or us, and to work through this before classes begin. I think we both need that."
"Well, I do have some experience in this field, so I know he'll definitely need some time. But, I feel sorry for the guy. I don't know that anyone ever really gets over Veronica Mars."
She ignored that comment and continued. "Anyway, as I was saying, I just wanted to do right by him. I hope that he can be my friend again some day."
"Wow. This is all so very mature of you, Miss Mars."
"Well, thanks for that. Coming from you ..."
"Now, now, Ronnie. Let's not say something we'll regret." He teased her gently.
"Yeah, yeah ..." She had a thought and continued more seriously. "Hey, you know I appreciate you listening and being here for me, right?"
He didn't answer right away, and she wished she could see his expression. "I do now."
"Thanks, Logan," she said softly.
"For what?" His voice was just above a whisper.
She took a deep breath and made the split-second decision to push herself. She didn't want to just do right by Piz. She wanted to do that for Logan, too.
"For not pointing out how terribly I treated you in the past. For not saying that Piz, a guy I've only known for a year and didn't even lo ... care about the way I care ... the way I cared about you, has received much better treatment than you did."
She could hear him breathing, but he didn't say anything.
"Thank you, Logan, for being a friend to me, even when I told you to go away."
Almost a full minute went by without either of them speaking. Logan finally broke the ice.
"Friends, huh?" She could hear the humorous tone back in his voice. "This should be interesting."
"So, what do you think?" She asked, trying to match his tone. "Do you think we can really do this friends thing? It hasn't worked out so well for us in the past."
She heard him take a deep breath. "Honestly, I'm afraid not to try, Ronnie." His tone was completely serious. "I just know that I don't want to lose you from my life."
He paused. She remembered other sets of speeches and declarations they had made to each other throughout the years. It seemed that they were always trying to either hold on to each other, or drive each other away.
The manic life of extreme highs and lows hadn't been good to them. She remembered Agent Wentz's warnings to her and felt more determined. This time would be better.
"We have to try," Logan said resolutely, as if hearing her thoughts. "Because ... well ... because I don't like what my life looks like when you're not in it."
End Flashback
So, here she was, leaving the office and heading to the beach to meet Logan. These "friendship dates," as he had called them once, had become something she looked forward to each week.
Today, they were studying.
"Profiling, huh? That's still your fascination?" He seemed distracted as he chewed on his straw and stared out at the ocean, not even pretending to look at his books.
"I wouldn't call it a 'fascination.'" She sounded a little defensive, even to herself. "I just really like the idea of investigating this way. It's intelligent and uses everything - I mean, absolutely everything - an investigator has at her disposal. You should have seen the way Agent Wentz could ..."
Veronica stopped when she realized her friend wasn't listening. She reached out to him, placing her hand on his.
"Hey ... are you o.k.?"
"Yeah." He turned his head to look at her and smiled. "Veronica, I'm fine."
"No, Logan, you're not fine. What's going on? What's wrong?" She put her book down and gave him her full attention.
"C'mon, Ronnie ... "
He ran his hand through his already tousled hair and sighed loudly.
"Will you drop it if I tell you that I really don't want to talk about this right now?"
She started to speak and he interrupted her. He held up his hand in frustration, knocking hers off in the process. "What am I thinking, of course you won't."
"Logan." She said firmly to get his attention. "Before I was so rudely interrupted," she looked at him pointedly, "I was going to say, 'yes.' If you really don't want to talk about it with me, then I will try to respect that and not push."
He looked at her incredulously.
"Seriously?" He laughed lightly. "You really have changed, haven't you, Veronica?"
He blew out a breath. "Alright, I guess I might as well tell you. You'll find out anyway, I'm sure." He smiled to take the sting out of his words.
"Thank God," she said with a laugh. "Because there was no way I could just leave that alone."
He laughed and looked at her, leaning back on his elbows. "I'm glad you haven't changed that much."
She settled onto her side, waiting for him to share what was on his mind.
"I sort of bought a company."
She gasped, sitting up suddenly.
He looked at her briefly before continuing. "It's a small company. They make surfboards."
Logan explained to her how he had heard that the company was headed toward bankruptcy and buyout from a large, "cookie cutter" sporting goods conglomerate. He spoke those words with as much disdain as she had heard him use about any topic. That made her giggle.
He stopped and looked at her sharply.
"I'm sorry. Please continue." She gave him her best, 'I'm completely serious' look.
"My first surfboard came from one of their local stores." His expression suggested that she should know the significance of that, but she didn't. "They have two stores here and some in a few other spots around the state."
"Back then ... well, surfing was the only real escape I had. It was how I got away from ..."
She understood now. "Oh, Logan ..."
"I just ... I just couldn't let that store close. And, they wouldn't let me just buy the one, so ..."
"I see," she said hoping she sounded supportive and not judgmental.
"They're not like the average surf shop. They're craftsmen, you know? Artisans. They'll let you design some of yourself into your board."
She waited to be sure he was finished before she spoke.
"Logan." She put her hand back on his and urged him to look at her.
"I get it. I think it's great. Really great. So, tell me why this is upsetting you."
He looked away again, toward the ocean. "There are 26 employees in these stores, Veronica. They ... they're ..."
She thought he would continue, and when he didn't, she set out to decipher the mystery he presented her.
He obviously loved the stores and the products they created. She knew he couldn't be seriously concerned about return on his investment at this point. So, what was going on with him? Why did he care about ...
"Oh, Logan." She finally got it. "You have responsibilities now."
"Yeah." He looked at her and she saw the fear and uncertainty in his eyes.
"I know I've employed people before, or my family has. But, this is different. I've met some of these people. I've gotten to know them over the years. This is all they know ... all they know how to do. And ..."
He stopped again and she squeezed his hand, encouraging him to continue.
"They had an opportunity to go work for that sporting goods company, but I swooped in and bought the stores. So, if I screw this up ..."
"Logan, you won't screw this up." She said with certainty.
"How can you say that, Veronica? When haven't I screwed up? My track record is pretty ..."
"Hey, there are a lot of things you haven't screwed up. You have kept numerous cleaning ladies, waitstaff and pillow fluffers gainfully employed at the Grand for years now."
She saw that he wasn't in the mood for her humor, so she changed tactics.
"Seriously, Logan, you aren't the same screwed up kid you were years ago. You see people. You see the brokenness in people, and you reach out to them to help. You took Dick in when literally no one else would."
"Yeah, well, if Dick Cassablancas is my only reference then I might as well hang it up right now." He stood up and started walking toward the water.
"Logan, wait." She got up and joined him as he walked up the beach. "Dick's not the only one you've been a good friend to.
That's when she told him all the things she had realized over the summer. She told him how she had relied him; counted on him to be there for her. She told him how she could see how much he had changed and grown through the tragedy in their past.
"I know we still have a long way to go, Logan, but we're on the right path. We're making choices now that will take us closer to the lives we really want."
He didn't respond. She crossed her arms and stared at the sand as they walked.
"I look back at all the destruction that was our adolescence, and I see one crappy choice after another." She kicked a rock down the beach. "Lilly choosing to be with Aaron. Aaron choosing to ... to be a monster. My Mom choosing to leave. Your Mom choosing ... " He tensed beside her, but she continued.
"Me choosing to go to Shelly's party." She stopped suddenly, gathering her courage.
"You choosing to be a jackass to me and self-destruct." She looked up at him and smiled as they started moving again.
"Cassidy ... choosing to ... to turn to the dark side." She stopped again and he put his arm around her.
She looked up at him and counted off the next choices on her fingers. "You choosing alcohol and easy hook-ups. Me choosing not to trust you over and over. Or, choosing to take risks that put the people I love in jeopardy."
"It goes on and on and on, Logan. And, even though I see it all now, I can't do anything to change it. No matter how angry I get; how many wrongs I right; how much justice I seek and vengeance I enact, it doesn't change a single thing. You still suffered. I still suffered. So many people suffered."
They walked in silence for a few minutes.
"This summer, I realized that while I can never change the past, I can try to make the future different. And, if I don't intentionally try, it's not gonna happen." Logan still gave her no response, so she spoke again.
"So, I'm trying; trying to make decisions that will make a life that I can ..." Her voice trailed off.
She grabbed his arms and shook him slightly. "Logan, I guess what I'm trying to say is that this decision to buy the surfboard company could be that kind of decision for you. Don't you see? It could be life changing; part of your ... your calling."
He stopped and looked down at her with an unreadable expression. And then, suddenly, he embraced her roughly, clinging to her. "Thank you, Veronica. Thank you."
VMVMVMVMVMVMVM
"Mac," Veronica greeted her friend warmly.
"Veronica, how's it going? Pasta?"
"Sure. Sounds great."
"So, ready for finals next week?" She followed Veronica's stare when she didn't answer.
"Oh, yes. Logan's latest lady friend," Mac said with raised eyebrows. "She seems nice, but I figured you would have all the dirt."
Mac grabbed her tray and moved down the line, placing her order.
Veronica was frozen in place. I didn't know, she responded internally. He never told me.
She tried to break away from staring at the couple, but couldn't. They were completely absorbed in each other; the way new lovers are when they're still learning so much about each other.
He laughed at something the girl said, and Veronica felt her chest tighten.
She was pretty; very pretty. That's not surprising. She was tall and curvy. And, brunette. "My exact opposite."
"What?" Mac asked while she waited for her veggie lasagna.
"Oh, uh, nothing. I think I'll grab a salad, Mac. I'll catch up with you at our table."
Veronica walked to the deli at the far end of the food court. It wasn't so much the salad that drew her as the chance to be farther away from Logan's table.
She took a few deep breaths and then walked up to the cash register with her water and salad.
He has every right to be with that girl.
Even though she knew that was true, it still bothered her. A lot.
I think it will always be hard for me to see him with someone else. I care about him and always will.
Her Dad was right. They did have a shared history that would always connect them.
But, he's trying to rebuild his life; just like I am.
He deserves a friend who will be happy for him. So, that's what I'm gonna be.
She paid for her lunch and walked toward the table where Mac and Wallace waited. But, she took the route that led her by Logan's table.
"Oh, hey Logan," she said, forcing herself to sound cheerful as she turned her focus toward Logan's lunch date. "Hi, there. I'm Veronica, a friend of Logan's."
"Veronica." She could tell he was caught off guard. "Uh, this is ... um, Catherine. We have 'Statistics' together."
"Hi, Catherine." Veronica said warmly.
"Veronica, it's nice to meet you." They exchanged smiles.
"Well, you two have a good lunch. I better move along. The natives are getting restless," she joked and pointed to her friends waiting for her. "See ya later."
She turned toward her solace found in Mac and Wallace.
I hate her. She gave in to her jealousy as she walked toward her friends. What does he see in her? He could do so much better.
"So, Veronica, give us the scoop," Mac pried. "Is she a suitable replacement for you, or just another one of his place holders?"
Veronica tuned her friend out until she processed the last thing Mac said. "What? What did you say?"
"I said, do you approve?"
"No, you called her a 'place holder.' Why that term?"
"I don't know." She looked baffled at Veronica's intensity. "I guess it just fits. Anytime you two date anyone else, that's kind of how I see them. Why? What's going on with you? You don't like her?"
"No, that's not it. She seems ... nice, I guess." She glanced back at their table and then decided to let it go. She didn't want to clue her friends in further to her inner turmoil.
Veronica finished lunch and went to her next class. But, her thoughts were still on Logan and his new love interest.
Why didn't he tell me, she wondered. She let out an audible sigh as she walked through the door of her classroom. Maybe the same reason I haven't told him. Being mature sucks.
VMVMVMVMVMVMVMVMVM
"Hey, Dad." Veronica greeted him as she threw her bag down and started rifling through the files on her desk.
"Hi, Honey. How was school?" He had that distracted tone. The one he always got when he was first jumping into a new case.
"Is that a new case," she asked eagerly. "'Cause if it is, I'm your girl." She walked into his office and pointed at herself enthusiastically. She definitely needed a distraction right now.
He looked up at her for the first time since she came into the office, and smiled. "Oh, really? Why so eager?"
"Eager? Me? Nah." She spoke coyly, glad to join him in their old, familiar dance. "You just look a little tired, Pops. You know ... around the eyes." She leaned in to try to touch under his eyes. "I thought you might need some help, that's all."
He batted her hands away. "Nice, oh daughter of mine," he responded as he picked up the file and put it in his briefcase. "But this one has my name written all over it."
"Hmmm ... you realize that I'm even more intrigued now, right?"
He laughed as he gathered his things together to leave. "I do. And still, the answer is 'no.' Weird how that works, isn't it?"
He kissed her on the cheek and walked toward the door. "See you tonight. Are you still taking the Hinson stakeout?"
She nodded and he looked thoughtful. "O.k. We'll eat early. I'm thinking takeout. How's that sound?"
"It would sound better if it went along with a side of 'sharing and caring' from my dear old Dad."
"So, Luigi's, it is." He smiled, blew her a kiss and walked out the door.
She heard him greet someone as he left the building, so she walked toward the front door to see who it was. Logan bounded through at the exact same moment, nearly knocking her over.
"Whoa ..." He grabbed her shoulders and steadied her so she wouldn't fall.
"Sorry about that," she said a little breathlessly.
"Hey, I'm always happy when a hot blonde is excited to see me." He smiled and moved his hands down her arms and back to his side.
She turned and walked toward her desk.
"So, what brings you to our fine establishment today?" She tried for light and airy, but was pretty sure it just came out as forced and stiff. She felt uneasy and awkward around him now and hated it.
"I didn't realize I needed an excuse to see you," he said as he plopped down into one of the chairs in front of her desk.
She smiled and shifted some piles of paper back and forth, hoping he wouldn't notice how nervous she was.
"Listen, Veronica." He placed his hand on her arm to get her attention. "I wanted to talk to you about today. It felt a little weird to me when I saw you at lunch and I just ..."
"No, Logan, it's not weird. I mean, of course there are other people in our lives, right?"
He nodded. "Yeah, I know. It's just ..."
"Hey, the only slightly weird part was that you hadn't mentioned her to me, that's all."
He picked up a photo frame on her desk and ran his fingers around the edge. "I'm sorry about that." He looked up at her then. "I should've told you that I was seeing someone. You know, more than just the casual ..."
"Yeah, I got it. You don't have to paint me a picture," she joked, feeling a little more relaxed.
"Look, Logan, that would've been nice, but I understand. We're still kind of ... I don't know ... new at this friendship thing, I guess. Some things might still be a little awkward for us."
He seemed stunned at her understanding response.
"Yeah. I just didn't know how to tell you. And, I didn't want to mess up what we have." He leaned back and relaxed visibly. "But, if it's any consolation, she's definitely not in the lifelong keeper category. It's just nice to have someone to ... well, you know ..."
She smiled genuinely then and sat down at her desk. "I do, Logan. I understand. Let's just try to be more open about things like this, o.k.? There's no need for us to feel weird about it. We're friends. Good friends. Friends who want the best for each other. Right?"
"Absolutely," he agreed, looking very relieved. "And, I wanted to say, 'thanks' for being so great about it today. I know it caught you off guard, but you handled it like a pro."
He put his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling, blowing out a deep breath. "Man, I don't know if I would have been that calm and collected if I had just found out that you were dating someone like that."
He looked back down at her when she didn't respond. They smiled at each other for a moment. Logan seemed to pick up on something in her expression and continued.
He stared at her with a slight smile the whole time he spoke. "I mean ... I'll be honest. I'm glad I have a little more time to get used to that idea, you know? It's not like you've been hiding some secret boyfriend, or anything."
Oh, crap. I guess it's my turn for the open and honest thing now.
"Yeah ... um, Logan ..."
She saw his expression change from easy-going to intense in an instant.
He gripped the picture frame tightly now. "What is it, Veronica?"
"I guess, in light of our open and honest disclosure policy, I need to tell you something, too."
He just stared at her, not saying a word, so she trudged on. She hoped he would be as understanding as she had been; at least to his face.
"I'm kind of ... I don't know exactly what to call it, but I've been ..."
"Geez, Veronica, just say it already." He looked ready to burst at any moment, so she just spit it out.
"I've been seeing someone, too."
He nodded slowly and then started shaking his head with a slight smile.
"Wow, no wonder you reacted so well to seeing me with her today." The sarcasm dripped from his lips. "Let's be more open with each other," he mocked. "Nice double standard, Veronica."
"Hey, it's not like that."
"Then what's it like, Veronica. Who is it? Who's the guy?"
He sounded almost jealous. Seriously? He's dating someone, flaunting her during my lunchtime in my food court, and he is upset about me dating? I don't think so.
"He's someone I met last year, o.k. You may have met him once. But, you probably don't even remember him, so don't worry about it."
"Who is it, Veronica?"
"Let me just remind you that I handled your situation, how did you say, oh yeah ... 'like a pro.' You think maybe you could do the same?"
"Yeah, I said that when I felt badly for keeping something from you. You know, before I realized you had been keeping the exact same thing from me. Now, spill it, Mars. Who is he?"
She flopped her head down on her desk in frustration. He didn't budge. She sat up and threw her arms up.
"Fine. His name is Kurt. He's a football player at Hearst. I met him on a case last year. He left last semester, but came back this Fall. We have a class together. We've been out a few times. That's it. Happy now?"
He sat staring at the wall behind her desk, seemingly deep in thought. "I remember him." He looked back her now, his eyes narrowing. "The play book, right? His girlfriend stole the play book? They broke up after you solved the case?"
"Yeah, her name is Trish. They broke up when he left last year. She doesn't even go to Hearst anymore. I think she transferred to ..."
"Yeah, Veronica, I really don't care where Trish is right now, o.k.?" He took a breath and visibly tried to calm himself. "So, last year ... was there ... there was nothing between you two ... I mean ..."
"No," she almost shouted the denial at him. "How can you even ask me that?"
"Well, call me paranoid, but you seem to have a knack for dating guys who you met while we were still together." His eyes were dark and she could tell he was working to control his temper.
Veronica stood up and placed her hands on her hips. She was angry. He was angry. This couldn't be good.
"Logan, are you seriously accusing me of cheating on you? Because if you are ..."
His face fell. He stood up, too, and reached out to her. "No, Veronica. God, no."
"I'm sorry. I don't know where that came from. I just ... I'm really sorry."
She nodded, with her tongue in her cheek. She was still angry, but knew his apology was sincere.
"I just didn't expect ... oh, man ... how were you so calm today in the food court?" He dropped his head into his hands. "I feel like I wanna punch this guy, and I don't even know him."
"Well, in the spirit of total honesty ... I did fantasize about destroying her life during my afternoon class. Does that make you feel any better?"
He laughed and looked up at her with his chin resting on his hands.
"Actually? Yeah, it kinda does."
She sat down, laughing, too. "Well, glad I could help. I'm here to be of service."
Logan sat back in his chair and started laughing again, shaking his head.
"What?" She asked, wanting him to let her in on the joke.
"Are you kidding me? A football player, Veronica?"
She shrugged and laughed, too.
VMVMVMVMVMVMVMVMVM
"Hurry up, Dad. They'll be here any minute." Veronica rushed around the apartment putting the finishing touches on all the hors d' oeuvres and decorations.
"Should I be concerned, or at least mildly offended, that you want me out of here so badly for your Christmas party?"
"It's a space thing, Dad. Tiny apartment. Lots of college kids. You see the problem?"
"Yeah, I do see the problem, but it's not the space that I'm worried about."
"Dad ..."
"Fine, fine. I'm going ... under protest. I'll be at Alicia's tonight. But, I could stop in at any time. Just keep that in mind."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Scary parental intimidation ... got it. Now, go."
He laughed and walked out the door. "Merry Christmas to all and to all ..."
"Good night," she yelled after him. She laughed and finished her preparations.
Veronica was nervous. There was no denying it. One tiny apartment. Two ex-boyfriends. One current boyfriend. One ex-boyfriend's current girlfriend. And three friends in the peanut gallery. It could get ugly. This seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everyone would be with family for Christmas. Well, everyone except Logan and Dick. Wallace was going to Chicago. Mac and her family were going to Washington. Piz was going home to Oregon. And, Kurt was going home to Kansas. Getting together for a pre-Christmas, festive gathering had sounded so reasonable last week.
The doorbell snapped her out of her nervousness. "God bless us, everyone," she mumbled under her breath as she walked to the door.
The evening was going well. She couldn't believe how well. Logan and his new flavor of the week - he had been through two since Catherine - got along with everyone. He even sat next to Piz part of the evening. She hadn't seen him with Kurt, yet. But, that was probably because Kurt had been by her side most of the evening.
She tried not to think about Kim or Candy or Candace ... whatever her name was. There was no point in getting too attached.
"Nice party." Kurt wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. "You should relax, though. You've been working all night."
"Thanks, I think I will." Veronica leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
She gazed around the room at her friends watching "It's a Wonderful Life" and smiled. That's when she caught Logan staring at her. She grinned and winked at him. He gave her a small smile and then looked away.
A few minutes later he caught her attention again. He nodded toward the hallway. She looked at him questioningly, but he just got up and walked toward her bedroom.
Kurt's phone rang then and he answered it, shifting her off of his lap. He mouthed that it was his brother and stepped outside to talk to him.
Veronica nodded and motioned for him to go. She walked toward her bedroom after the front door closed behind him.
"Hey," she said as she walked into her room. "What are you doing in here? The party's out there, big boy?"
"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to talk to you alone for a minute." He flashed a small smile in her direction as he leaned in to look at a photo on her bulletin board. "We haven't really had much time together lately."
She sat on her bed, watching him walk around her room. "I know. I've missed our 'friend dates.' I'm hoping we can get those started back up in the Spring."
"Yeah, that'd be good." He stopped his tour of her room and sat down beside her. "So, I know we said, 'no gifts,' but I have something for you." She started to protest, but he put his hand over her mouth to stop her.
"It's not wise to argue with Santa," he said softly.
A huge smile broke out across her face and she crossed her legs Indian style on the bed. He laughed at her then. "Uh, yeah ... you're totally getting into the whole present thing now, I see."
"What can I say? I'm a child at heart."
"Yeah, and in size."
"Hey. Let's just dispense with the short jokes and get to dispensing the gift."
"Fine. Here ya go." He pulled a small package, wrapped in silver paper, out of his jacket pocket and handed it to her. Her eyes lit up brightly.
She examined it, and then glanced up at him with a confused look on her face.
"What's wrong?" Logan asked.
"It's just that I kinda thought it would be a surfboard, seeing as how you can get one at cost now." She giggled and punched him in the arm.
"Very funny. Open the gift."
She ripped through the paper dramatically and then stopped, staring at the small jewelry box.
"C'mon, Ronnie, open it."
"Logan ..."
"Just open it."
She opened the box and saw the most beautiful platinum locket she had ever seen. It was round, not oval, and it was completely smooth, with no ornate markings or decorations. And, instead of a chain, it sat on a leather choker. It was beautiful, and unlike anything she had ever seen. It was the perfect mixture of delicate beauty and strength. It was her.
She looked up at him in wonder. He knew her so well.
"Logan, I don't know what ..."
"Open the locket, Veronica," he urged gently.
She picked up the small circle and opened it. She didn't feel the tears falling until Logan wiped one away.
The right side of the locket featured one of her favorite photos of the Fab Four. The other side held a photo of Logan and her. It was one of her favorites from the summer before their freshman year at Hearst.
"I just had that photo put in there so there would be two photos. You know, so it wouldn't be empty." He pointed at the photo of the two of them. "You can put whichever photo you want in it. One of you and your Dad or ... whatever."
"No, Logan. This is perfect. This is ... this is the one I want."
He smiled shyly. "So, you like it then?"
She reached over and hugged him tightly around his neck. "I love it. I absolutely love it. Thank you so much, Logan."
She handed the necklace to him and then turned around for him to fasten it.
She turned back around, fingering the locket gently. He smiled and scooted back on her bed, bringing one leg up to rest next to hers.
"I actually have one more gift ... "
"No, wait." She jumped up and ran to her closet. "My turn."
She stood up on her tiptoes, trying to reach the top shelf. He watched her struggle. A big smile spread across his face. "Uh, Veronica, would you like some help?"
"No," she said as she struggled. "I got it. Yes! Here it is."
She pulled down the shirt-sized box, wrapped in Santa paper and brought it over to the bed.
He shook his head, smiling. "Now tell me again why we had the 20-minute discussion about not buying gifts for each other this year."
"Oh, hush, and open your gift."
He slowly pulled back one corner at a time, opening the gift at an excruciatingly slow pace. She started tapping her foot in frustration. "Is something wrong, Veronica?"
"Just rip it open, Logan," she practically screamed at him.
He laughed and tore the remaining paper off the box. He lifted the lid and fished through tissue paper to find her gift.
"Veronica ... what is ..."
She smiled and pulled her clasped hands in front of her mouth, waiting for him to figure it out.
He read the enclosed printout and looked at her.
She couldn't stand it anymore and had to explain the gift. "I know it's a weird gift for someone with your ... well, someone who can buy anything he wants. It's just ... this time of year is hard, Logan. I thought you might want to get away and be somewhere really special for New Year's. And, there are two tickets in there so you can take Barbie, or Candy or whoever this month's selection is."
He laughed and reached for her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "Veronica, this is too much. You shouldn't have done ..."
She pulled away and placed her hand on his arm. "Yes, I should have. And, it's done. So, just enjoy. I expect to see lots of photos and hear about lots of revelry. Got it? I intend to totally live vicariously through you this New Year's Eve."
He sat looking at the tickets with a bemused look on his face. "I mentioned that I had one more gift, right?"
He reached inside his jacket, but stopped before he pulled out the gift.
"Wait, before you open this ... how serious are you about the jock?" He gestured toward the living room.
She shook her head and gave him a look of mock irritation. "Why?"
He just shrugged. "Figured now might be the easiest time to get that out of you seeing as I have something to bribe you with."
"Soooo not discussing this with you right now." She held out her hands expectantly.
He kept his hand inside his jacket, smiling. She knew how stubborn he was. They could both sit there all night.
"Fine. We're not that serious, I guess. I mean, we like each other and enjoy spending time together, but I've been very honest with him about my ... limitations when it comes to relationships right now."
He nodded.
"I don't want to have another ..."
"Piz," he said for her.
"Yeah. I don't want to hurt him or be hurt either, so we're just keeping things pretty light."
"Hmmm ... he doesn't look at you like someone who's taking things pretty light. You realize that, right?" She glared at him. "I'm not sure he's playing along with your plan. How's that working out for ya, Ronnie?"
"I don't know, Logan. How has your buffet of bimbos been working out for you?
"I see your point. Here." He handed her the envelope from his jacket.
She snatched it out of his hand and held it up to her nose, sniffing it. She turned it over and over in her hands in mock inspection.
He laughed at her antics and tried to take it back from her. She finally opened it, read the contents, and fell over onto her pillows laughing.
"We're quite a pair, aren't we, Echolls?"
They had given each other the exact same gift. Well, his gift to her included first-class seating, rather than coach, but other than that, they were the same. Apparently, they were going to spend New Year's together ... in New York City.
"So, I called your friend from your internship - Joanna. Your Dad gave me her name and number. Her name is on one of the tickets. She's flying from Wisconsin to meet you there."
She sat up and stared at him in disbelief. "Logan, I can't believe you did that. So, Dad knows about the trip?"
He nodded, but looked unsure for a minute. "You're o.k. with that, right?"
She bit her bottom lip, lost in thought for a moment. Logan's hand on her knee brought her back to their conversation. "Sorry. Yes. Absolutely. Logan, it's amazing, completely amazing. I love New York. Thank you so much." She beamed with happiness and hugged him again.
"So, you're also o.k. with us going on this trip together then?"
She sat back as it occurred to her how incredibly awkward it would be if Logan brought whats-her-name.
"Well, it's extremely extravagant and I should really refuse to accept such an expensive gift, especially after you already gave me ..."
She placed her fingers around the locket again.
"But?" he asked with a smile.
"But, I think we'll have an amazing time, and I can't think of anything I'd rather do than go on this trip. Besides, you'll need someone knowledgeable to show you all the under-the-radar sights."
He nodded, clearly enjoying her enthusiasm.
"So, um ... who do you think you'll take with you?"
"Hmmm ... good question. Let's see ... Candy? No, maybe Christy? No ..."
She rolled her eyes and got off the bed. "Well, you work out your social calendar, Mr. Heffner. I'm heading back to the party."
He jumped up and grabbed her arm. "I'm kidding, Veronica." He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes.
"I couldn't take one of those girls on a trip like this ... a gift you got for me. You know that. So, as much as I know it will pain you, I think I'll ask Dick to come with us."
She smiled. "Yeah, I think that's a good idea. He'll make the rest of us look good on TV in Times Square."
They walked back into the living room laughing. Kurt was standing by the door watching the hallway when they came into the room.
"You o.k., Veronica," he asked with an unreadable expression. "I was getting a little worried."
She felt Logan tense next to her. "Everything's fine, Kurt." She hoped to diffuse any tension before the testosterone in the room erupted. "Logan and I were just exchanging Christmas gifts."
Kurt nodded, but looked unconvinced.
Logan continued to stare at him unwaveringly. Boys.
She cleared her throat and Logan finally broke away. He glanced at the couch where his friend was sleeping with her head on Piz's shoulder. Logan rolled his eyes and Veronica laughed.
Hmmm ... one guest asleep; another pissed off. I guess the party's officially over.
Kurt stayed with her until everyone left. He said he wanted to help her clean up. She knew he was really just making sure she wasn't left alone with Logan again.
"Thanks for staying to help me clean up," she said, as they picked up cups and plates from the living room.
"My pleasure. It was a fun party. I enjoyed spending time with your friends, for the most part."
"You mean Logan, right?"
He glanced at her and then finished sacking up a bag of trash.
She stopped him and led him over to the couch.
"I think we need to talk about this, Kurt." Here comes mature Veronica again, heading off a conflict before it could fester. Does this ever get easier?
"No, it's fine." He pulled her to his side and kissed her briefly. "It's just that I don't like the way he looks at you. He doesn't look at you like a friend."
She laughed. These two would probably get along if they had met under other circumstances.
"You need to know something about Logan, Kurt."
He looked at her expectantly.
"He's my oldest friend; the one who's known me the longest. Yes, he can be a bit much sometimes. Yes, we've dated in the past and yes, a big part of me will always care about him."
He nodded, but didn't interrupt.
"So, if you're not o.k. with that, then whatever this is," she pointed between them, "probably needs to end."
He pulled his arm back from around her shoulders and leaned forward. Turning to look at her, he said grimly, "That sounds an awful lot like an ultimatum, Veronica. Either I accept your odd relationship with this guy you used to sleep with, or we can't be together? Did I get that right?"
She turned toward him and clasped his hands in hers, resisting the urge to respond sarcastically or angrily. "No, Kurt, it's not an ultimatum. It's just the way things are. I've learned a lot about myself in recent months. And, one thing I know is that there will never be a time in my life when Logan won't be welcome in it. He will always have a place in my life."
He nodded, without saying anything.
"You are such a great guy, Kurt. So, if that's not o.k. with you - and I completely understand if it's not - then I think ... maybe ..."
He hung his head and exhaled with a bitter laugh. "Then maybe I should go? Yeah, I guess that's what I'll be doing then."
"Kurt ..."
"I appreciate your honesty, Veronica. But, before I go, tell me ... why is it that you two aren't together anymore?"
She shook her head at the completely appropriate question for which she had no answer. She was at a loss.
"Well ... it's just that ... we ... we're such good friends ... and we just ... we work better this way."
"Right," he said as he moved to the edge of the couch. "You know, maybe you should work out a better, more convincing answer to that question before you date someone else in the future."
He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "Merry Christmas, Veronica."
Kurt left. She continued cleaning up until she heard a knock.
"Logan." She was surprised to see him. "What're you doing here? You forget something?"
"Yeah," he said, as he grabbed her hands and pulled her outside on the porch. "I did."
She never saw it coming. His lips captured hers in a passionate kiss. Without conscious thought, she gave in, melting into him.
The voices in her head warred for control. One telling her to end this before she completely lost control and they ruined their new friendship. Another reminded her that she hadn't experienced anything like this kiss since ... well, since the last time Logan had kissed her before they broke up. Confusion and passion swirled all around her.
And then, much too quickly, he backed away.
Surprised, she looked at him with several questions evident in her eyes.
He chose to answer only one of them.
"Mistletoe." He said, smiling and pointing to the green plant hanging from a wire above her door.
"What ... where did that ... Logan?" She looked up at the unfamiliar item as her fingers involuntarily touched her lips.
He just looked at her with a huge smile on his face.
Veronica gaped back at him in complete confusion as he laughed, threw his keys in the air and walked toward the stairs. It was only then that she saw the hammer sticking out of his jacket pocket.
He began whistling "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" before he reached the first step.
- To be continued -
