What If?
Setting: Somewhere before Birthday, Bitch.
Rating: T for language, teen drinking/drug use/general partying.
Chapter title: Spin on: "Always thought we'd talk someday," sung by Nadia during No Voice.
What if?: What if Nadia and Jason had talked before he died?
Disclaimer: I do not own, nor am I affiliated in any way with the Bare: A Pop Opera or Bare the Musical. This story is merely for entertainment.
Talk Today
There it was again. Unmistakable.
The way Jason and Peter looked at each other. That wasn't the shared look of best friends. That was…something else.
So Jason was…something else.
She had to give him credit; he was good at hiding it. Anyone that wasn't his twin sister—or Peter, apparently—would have no clue. And, consequently, they didn't.
But she did. And she wanted to tell him so much. Maybe they didn't tell each other everything, but they were close, and Nadia relished that. But with one word she could ruin it all.
It would require tact. Simply saying, "Hey, Jason, I can tell that you like the D," probably wouldn't cut it.
Too bad that's the best she could think of.
They would talk about it later. When she came up with something better to open with. Besides, there was no rush, right? There was nothing pushing her to broach a topic that would clearly only make him feel uncomfortable. And her by default.
But then she got a reason.
"Hey, Tanya," Nadia heard Ivy bubble over the phone from across the room. "Yeah, tonight's gonna be the night—I'll make sure of it."
Ivy was holding up different little napkins up to her chest, making Nadia roll her eyes. The tiger out on the prowl again in her usual guise—a push up bra and a belly-button piercing.
"Which top do you think Ja—" Nadia felt the hairs on the back of her neck prick up. She glanced behind her to notice Ivy looking at her warily, "—he would like?"
Nadia turned back to her desk, clenching her jaw. No. Ivy was not going to get her brother.
Abruptly, Nadia pushed back from her desk and left the room without a word. It wasn't that she was worried—with Jason's preference being what it was, she had no reason to be. But still, the fact that Ivy and Jason were as close as they were already made her tick. There was no way she was going to let it go further than that.
Nadia stormed down the hallway, crossing to the boys' dormitories and made the familiar route to Jason's room. Instantly, she reached for the doorknob, prepared to storm in and make a dramatic entrance to accentuate her point.
The door was locked.
She wiggled the knob obnoxiously for a second and then began spamming the door with knocks. After a few moments the door flew open and Nadia was greeted by a somewhat flustered Jason.
"What the hell, Nadia?"
Nadia took in Jason's unkempt hair and looked further into the room. There was Peter sitting at his desk, looking hard at work, though his lips a little pinker than usual. And Peter's bed was all mussed whereas Jason's was perfectly made, as Nadia was sure it had been since he had woken up that morning.
It was practically nothing—it could be nothing—but still…it was interesting.
Nadia stood for a second longer with Jason looking at her expectantly, if a little annoyed. Okay, in her haste she had lost that bit of tactfulness that she had wanted to bear in mind with this conversation. So how could she open it to recover that?
"Tell, Ivy you're gay," Nadia blurted.
Oops.
She instantly pursed her lips together as if to zip the words back into her mouth. Peter had instantly turned to look at her with wide eyes, and Jason looked as though he was going to piss his pants right there in the doorway.
Immediately, Nadia stepped into the room, not because she felt particularly welcome but because she suddenly remembered that the door she was standing in front of was very open.
"W-Why would I tell her that?" Jason asked, doing his best to gather his wits.
Realizing that it was too late to shut the barn door with the cows still inside, Nadia barreled onwards. "Because she wants to fuck you," Nadia spared a glance at Peter to gauge his reaction. He looked like he had swallowed a fly. "And she's going to fuck with you to do so and I think that may legitimately make me steal the keys to the church's van off of Matt and drive off a cliff."
"Nadia, I'm a big boy. I can handle Ivy," Jason said. "I don't need to lie to her to do that."
"Jason." Nadia looked him square in the eyes. He never had been able to lie to that face. So, in turn he said nothing. Sighing, Nadia turned to Peter, who had gone back to pretending to look studious. "Peter?"
Slowly, Peter rose up from his papers and looking at Nadia apprehensively. "What?" His voice sounded pressed and his eyes were longing.
Nadia looked between the two of them. Jason was avoiding her eyes and Peter had shifted his gaze to Jason as well, looking unsure. She waited for one of them to crack but neither did. Finally she sighed. "Fine." She forced herself into Jason's line of vision. "Jason, you're a nice guy, so I know you'll try to appease her or some shit but don't let her have this. Even a little bit. For me? Please?"
No response again.
Nadia left, not knowing what more to do.
Then she realized something. If this little conversation was going to push Jason away from her she would blame Ivy.
Forever.
Nadia was bored out of her gourd.
She had promised Matt that she if she couldn't say anything nice to or about Ivy today she wouldn't say anything at all. So, here she was…not saying anything at all. She was sipping some beer, trying to get a good buzz going but the taste was so bad that she couldn't help but take it slow. It was either that or plug her nose while drinking it, but she had learned from experience that that wasn't exactly a cute look.
It wasn't that she was being a wallflower. Really more of a wall-hippo if anything. Sure, people definitely noticed her—it was her room after all. But it was Ivy's birthday, so no one really gave a shit that she was making more conversation with the booze than anyone else.
She really did need the booze up, though. Jason had said very little to her ever since she had blurted to him about Ivy…and that other thing. That also meant that Peter hadn't said much to her either. That left Nadia very close to alone and she didn't like it one bit. And, as promised, she fully blamed Ivy for the outcome.
As the partygoers passed her by she just watched the action unfold in front of her. Jason. Peter. Ivy. Matt, the poor schmuck. Man, this party would have been a lot more fun if he'd just let her plan the whole thing. This 'be classy' shit just wasn't her style. And she knew it wasn't Ivy's.
And apparently it wasn't anyone else's' either. Peter was sloppy already and Ivy, of course, was barely able to stand up. Probably the one bad quality of being such a twig—she couldn't handle her liquor at all.
Then again, Nadia was even jealous of that. Being blackout would allow her to forget all this mess. But no, she was barely tipsy.
The high and drunk twins were both zeroing in on Jason, making their desperate moves. Nadia prayed that Jason would make the right choice. She'd told him what the right choice was—it should have been easy! But not long later she saw Jason push Peter away and the consequent heartbreak on his face.
Damn it, Jason.
Nadia wanted to watch and make sure that Jason truly had heard what she had said to him about Ivy. He was just too nice to everyone, giving everyone what they wanted. And he was the only person that she knew that actually truly liked everyone. But as she saw Peter storm out, she knew what she had to do.
Reluctantly, Nadia followed Peter out, grateful for the fresh, un-Ivy-worshipping air if nothing else.
"Peter, stop."
He turned around and looked at her, his eyes pink and a little vacant from all the weed. Clearly Jason had harshed his high a little. "What?"
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
Then something sparked in his eyes. "Yes," he said, his voice surprisingly desperate.
"Okay." Nadia nodded uncertainly, caught off-guard by Peter's sudden change in demeanor, so different from what she had just been observing in her room.
Or, let's face it. Ivy's room.
Nadia allowed herself to be led to Peter and Jason's room and couldn't help but let a happy feeling surprise her. Talking to Peter was the way to get to know this part of her brother. And clearly Peter needed to get it out. This would be cathartic for both of them.
And they talked. They talked for a long time. They talked to the point that they were just trying to forget how long they had been there, and consequently how long Jason remained at the party.
Eventually Peter was all talked out and was coming down so much from the weed that he fell asleep. Nadia was glad because there for a while it seemed as though he was thinking too much about Jason to be able to get any rest.
It was then that Nadia heard a soft knock on the door. Sparing the now drooling Peter a glance, she went to the door and opened it to find Jason. "Why would you knock on your own door?" she asked, but before she could even finish the sentence, he pulled her out of the room.
Nadia took in Jason's face—he looked near to tears. "I tried to, but I couldn't," Jason managed, his voice wobbly and uneven.
"Tried to what?"
"Tried to be with Ivy," he clarified. "I know that I should want to and I'm supposed to and I've been trying ever since you said…but I can't."
At this point a few tears were trailing down his face and Nadia felt her heart breaking for him. "Jason, you're not supposed to be anything. This is who you are and that's okay. You're okay."
"But I don't want this," he croaked. "It's not okay."
"Yes it is," Nadia insisted. "You trying to be with Ivy is what's not okay." Nadia cracked a smile. "And I don't just say that because of any personal grudges I may have towards her."
Nadia wasn't sure if he was hearing her words or not, despite the occasional nods he offered her, so she decided to try another angle.
"Look at it this way: you have Peter. That makes you lucky. Would you rather have no one like me?" A sardonic smile played on her face, mirroring if but for a second on Jason's as well.
Ah, the self-debilitating humor hadn't let her down once yet.
Just one last thing.
"So, did you sleep with Ivy?"
Jason gave a little shake of his head.
Nadia smiled. "Good. Now go in there and be with Peter. Because that's what you're supposed to be doing. He'll probably still be high by the time he wakes up tomorrow, though, so don't let him get too handsy with you, ya hear?"
Jason cracked a sad smile walked into his room, leaving Nadia in the hallway.
Well, mission accomplished. For now. She knew it was still a long way to go. But at least the words were out there.
And…now she would have to deal with a rejected Ivy. Nadia smiled.
She couldn't wait.
A/N: Cards on the table, I wrote this all way back when I first published this story 4 months ago. But I wasn't sure that I liked this chapter, so I had to put it away until I forgot about it and could read it with a clear mind. And I actually liked it! So here you go! And here's a reminder that requests for ideas are welcome. :)
