So this chapter is actually a combination of the events in The Return and The Surprise, since honestly not enough happens in them individually to write about, and in this story there is no 'surprise' anyway.

Also, phantom-jaselin on dA drew some wonderful fanart for this and you should totally go look at it because it made my year.


Chapter Three
The Return

The tests were beginning to blur together, a continuous parade of Faith Plates and Discouragement Beams and suspicious-smelling goop and grey walls. Even REGiNA's steady stream of passive-aggressive barbs were beginning to blend into each other. Belle was tiring quickly, and was starting to suspect that Her remark about recycling the same roomful of air might have a degree of truth to it.

Finally, she found a ledge and sat on it.

"What are you doing?" REGiNA snapped. "We've still got [insert number here] tests to go."

"I'm exhausted," Belle retorted. "Let me have a moment."

"Hm. The adrenal vapor must not be working properly."

"Or maybe," Belle snarled, her patience at an end, "I've just spent an extended period of time in stasis, and just maybe that could have effected my physical condition. What's a girl got to do to get a decent meal around here? And if you say anything about turnovers, apple or otherwise," she added vehemently, "when I get my hands on you, what I did to you last time will seem like a spa treatment in comparison."

"Well, since you seem to feel so strongly about it," said REGiNA, "perhaps I can scrounge something up from storage."

Belle couldn't resist the hope that flared up in her chest. "Really?"

"No, not really. I'll just pump some extra nutrients into the air."

Belle slumped. What else had she expected? She wondered if she could find one of her unseen friend's stashes of canned beans. She technically didn't need to eat, thanks to some science Aperture worked, and as a result she wasn't exactly hungry, but sometimes it was the principle of the thing.

Lying back on the floor, she folded her hands behind her head, her legs still dangling over the ledge.

REGiNA sighed. "Tell me, what will it take to get you moving again?"

"Let me take a nap," Belle replied. "Give me fifteen minutes to recharge."

"I could always just throw some turrets into the chamber," She suggested.

"Go ahead, shoot me," Belle said. "Then who'll run through your tests?"

When REGiNA didn't respond, Belle knew she'd called Her bluff.

"Fifteen minutes," She finally said. "Not a second more."

Relief washed through Belle. "You got it." She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, steady and slow, and the rhythm lulled her into sleep as her weariness overtook her.

She dreamt of the abandoned corridors of the facility, eerily empty. The only signs of there ever having been people were the occasional reminders scrawled on post-it notes, and once she'd found a faded photo of a family. Otherwise, she could have thought the place had been built but never populated. The halls went on forever, leading from derelict workstation to derelict workstation. She wondered about the people who had worked here, even though it made her sad, and she wondered what had happened to the bodies, but decided she didn't want to know.

And it went on and on and on to twisty metal stairs and ruined test chambers and a smile with lips as red as blood and a soft brogue that belonged to a man who walked as if apologizing for his existence.

She was rudely awoken by the sound of an air horn.

"Your fifteen minutes are up," said REGiNA. "Time to get back to Science."

Belle groaned and rubbed her temples, then picked up the portal gun and pushed herself to her feet. She was definitely feeling better, and solved the chamber with relative ease.

When she moved to enter the next chamber, the door stuttered open a few inches, then snapped back shut, spitting sparks.

REGiNA's tone was laced with irritation as she said, "I have to fix this. I'll be right back – don't go anywhere."

Silence fell, but was suddenly broken by knocking above her. She looked up to see Rumpel tapping on the window of the observation room. He was hanging from his management rail, and she could see his right leg occasionally twitch and spark. It seemed like it was his knee that was damaged.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Fine," he replied hastily. "I jammed the door mechanism with some bird's eggs I found, but we don't have long 'til She comes back. I just wanted to let you know that I think I have a kind of plan, you just need to hang on for a couple more chambers-"

A furious cawing cut him off, and a feathery black form dive-bombed him. He let out an undignified yelp and covered his head with his arms, curling in on himself. "I'll see you in a bit!" he yelled as he sped away on his rail, the livid bird in hot pursuit.

Belle bit down on her lip to stifle a laugh.

"There," said REGiNA. "It seems so pointless to have separate mainframes for different things if I just have to end up doing it all myself. Well, you know what they say: If you want a job done right…"

The door slid open, and Belle stepped into the next chamber. It was, indeed, a couple of chambers later when, as she was walking along a light bridge, the power gave out. The bridge vanished underneath her, and she nearly fell into the unpleasant goo. Off to her left, the wall opened up, revealing Rumpelstiltskin on the other side. "This way!" he shouted to her. "Quickly!"

"Oh, it's you," REGiNA said with disgust. "Don't think escaping me is going to be so easy."

Belle was already racing across the room. She leapt over the gap and onto the catwalk beyond, bumping into the railing but scarcely giving herself time to recover before sprinting along the catwalk after Rumpelstiltskin, who looked absolutely terrified. They rounded a corner to see an open test chamber.

"This is the last chamber," REGiNA said. "You're almost done – why quit so close to the finish line?"

Belle veered in the opposite direction, leaping to a lower catwalk when her original one ended. She took a couple more turns under Rumpel's direction and began to run across a flat space with a low ceiling, when suddenly panels rose to wall her in. She heard Rumpel shout her name, and then she heard the familiar sound of turrets. She snuck over to each one and knocked them over before finding a way to portal out of the trap.

"I'm okay," she reassured him. "Now run!"

Their escape route led them through a maze of catwalks, and just as Rumpelstiltskin exclaimed in relief that safety was in sight, the walls around them began to shift and groan.

"She's bringing the place down around us," he said in horror.

"Keep moving!" Belle screamed over the cacophony, just managing to avoid being crushed by a giant metal pillar. She dashed across the final stretch, throwing herself into the elevator and slamming the button. As the lift began to rise, she heard Rumpelstiltskin shout, "I'll meet you on the other side!"

The elevator came to a rest in front of a door, which slid open with a pneumatic hiss. She stepped into the concrete corridor beyond, sweet silence falling around her as the door sealed itself behind her.