A/N:
Disclaimers and Warnings see first chappie.

Sorry it's been so long, real life got in the way.
I should be updating once or twice a week now, maybe more depending on inspiration.
This is a short one, but it's only half.
Second part and chapter 4 will be up tomorrow, scout's honor.

I don't have time to answer all the reviews, so I'll pick one for now:

Alexander Hunter: Yup, I read a line somewhat like that in your fic and a bunch others. It's a very Sev-thing to say, and I couldn't resist putting it in. XD

Please review everyone, even if I don't reply I do read them and appreciate it when you take the time to tell me what you think.
Flames can kiss my British a--!!
Constructive Criticism only!
No "Evil Homosexual, pedophiliac nastiness of doom"
I put the warnings for a reason bitches,
So if you don't like it, don't click my story.

Much love to all my readers and reviewers!
L.


"Wow, that was bloody brilliant! Said an exuberant Gryffindor, dropping books onto a table in the library. Exuberant, flushed, happy. Grinning with joy from a prank as Ronald Weasley hadn't done in so long. Maybe things could finally get better, maybe they could get back to normal now. Things were looking up.

"Oh, I don't know, Ron. Professor Snape is bound to be angry." said his bushy-haired prude of a girlfriend "And he is married to the man now. Maybe Harry should have been a tad bit more respectful?"

But Hermione Granger's lips still twitched, spreading into the first real smile in months. The redhead and his girlfriend shared a meaningful look before breaking into peals of laughter. They clutched at their sides, remembering the look on their Professor's face as a certain Harry Potter attempted to spoon feed him. Tears sprung into their eyes as they continued chuckling, rolling around on the ground from the hilarity. Once they started, after such a long desolate period of being without laughter, they just couldn't help themselves and were helplessly consumed with mirth.


"Draco, did you see the look on Professor Snape's face? God, I didn't know Potter had it in him." said the dulcet tones of Blaise Zabini, chuckling madly once they were safely ensconced in a private corner of the library. Even the Slytherin's had to admit the Golden Boy's revenge had been brilliant, and they just knew that Snape's retribution would be just as captivatingly hilarious.

"Trust me, Blaise, neither did I, though we shouldn't have been too surprised- he is after all James' Potter's son and a second generation maruader." Draco replied, grinning smugly as he replayed the entire breakfast scenario in his mind's eye "And, from all the commotion, it would seem Weasley and Granger didn't expect it of him either."

From their spot they could clearly hear the near-hysterical cackling of Harry's two Gryffindork friends. Peeking through the shelves, he shook his head dumbly at the sight of the prim and proper Miss Hermione Granger rolling on the ground laughing like a mad woman. Though really, who could blame them after this morning? A much needed refreshing change of atmosphere, I must say. he thought with an amused smile curling his lips.


But soon the laughter stopped on both sides of the library, to be replaced by confusion and a slight fear as the four students were enveloped in a pale rose coloured fog. The fog wrapped around all of their bodies, gluing their arms to their sides and temporarily paralysing them as it lifted them into the air. With quick precision they were lifted into an empty classroom just across from the library doors. And eyes which had narrowed in caution and panic soon widened and relaxed as their captors were revealed.

Sitting in rows in front of a small, conjured stage was most of Gryffindor- and even many of Slytherin- house. The students were watching excitedly and clapped loudly as each of the four were deposited in a chair onstage and then released from their paralysis. The lights dimmed out, creating a bright spotlight center stage, and them music began to play (think Jerry Springer crossed with Oprah and mixed with a dash of Maury)…


"Welcome, welcome everyone. Today on Between the sheets with Ginny we shall be interviewing two of our very own Golden Trio, as well as the renowned Ice Prince of Slytherin and his cohort Italiano, in regards to the situation of one famous Harry Potter and his husband, our most fearsome Professor Snape." came the dreamy voice of Loony, err- Luna Lovegood, from behind the director's box.

Amidst the wild clapping and exuberant cheers, a ridiculously sultry voice spoke out "Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of Between the sheets with Ginny; I'm Ginny Weasley, your hostess for the night."

On to the stage stepped the rambunctious red headed female, but this was not the Ginny everyone knew and was accustomed to. Oh no, this Ginny was very different. She was decked out in a red leather mini skirt that barely covered to mid-thigh and a sparkling gold tube top that hugged her curvaceous upper body. Matching god, red-laced, boots with four inch heels clung to her shapely legs, ending at the knees where black fishnet tights continued upward. The famous "Weasley Red" hair was twisted into flaming coils that framed a heart-shaped face.

"Whoa!" gasped one of the Slytherin girls from the crowd. A brunette easily recognized as Pansy Parkinson, whose cheeks flushed pink as Ginny threw a flirtatious wink and a smirk in her direction.

"Thank you, I think." she said, turning to face her unwilling guests. Taking a seat opposite them, she began:

"Well folks. The community that is our humble Hogwarts already knows what happened with Harry and the greasy git-" here the snakes threw glares at the hostess of the 'show' "-but what we want to know is how the respective houses feel about the happenings. So we chose those most influential and closest to the two newly weds to answer some of our questions." Ginny finished.


The Interviews:

Draco:

"How are you feeling about all this, Malfoy?"

"No comment."

"Do you think these are the doings of some nefarious plot on you head of house's side?"

"No comment."

"Would you care to confirm the rumours that Snape is your godfather?"

"No comment."

"Damn it! Is there anything you would like to say?"

Draco rose a brow at the read head's glare and merely said: "No comment."

Hermione:

"Is there a cure for the curse?"

"What curse, Ginny?"

"The curse that's tying Harry to Snape, of course."

"That's a marriage bond, not a curse."

"So… there's no cure?"

"Cure? What cure?"

"Yes, cure! Cure to the unfortunate twist in Harry's life!?"

"I'm sorry, what was the question again?"

Ron:

"So, Ronald, how do you feel about your best friend's new husband?"

"Oi, Gin, does mum know you have clothes like that?"

"Are you mad at Harry for his new situation?"

"That skirt is too short, y'know."

"What about Harry, Ron?!"

"Harry would think that skirt is much too tight."

"Ron..!"

"You look like one of them hookers from the movies those muggles watch."

Blaise:

"No comment."

I didn't even ask anything yet."

"Yeah, well good, 'cos my answer is the same and I don't have to tell you a damned thing."

"Yes, you do! The people have a right to know-"

"No, I don't and like hell they do n-"

"Yes they do-"

"It aint their lives!"

"But they still-"

"It's no ones business but Professor Snape's and Potter's, so get your nose out of it and go put some damned clothes on!"

"Why, I never…!"

"Whatever."

"How dare you?!"

"No comment."


Ginny and Blaise continued glaring at each other as Draco stood and said, "Look, I was kinda pissed at first because.. Well, those two have always hated each other, it was on principle. But then I thought, so did Harry and I, and yet we managed to get past that and start over after Father and I switched sides. So I decided maybe Potter and Snape could get past their hate too, and who knows, it might be good for all of us, 'cos if the professor is getting some, he might be a helluva lot more agreeable in class."

With that said, the quad got up and exited the room without a backwards glance at the flabbergasted crowd or the fuming Ginny. If they hurried they just might not be late to their DADA class, and they each wanted to see who Dumbledoof got for a teacher this year, maybe they'd finally get that vampire.