Chapter 4: Against All Odds
The first thing Severus saw when he opened his eyes was cold, grey stone stretching out above him and disappearing beyond his field of vision. Yet, the chill he expected to feel seeping through his robes from the stone floor upon which he was laying was mysteriously absent. Twitching his fingers, Severus could feel some sort of woolen fabric covering the floor. The events of the last few hours were perfectly clear in his mind, however much he wished that they were not, and Severus was doubtful that he had had the auspicious fortune to collapse onto a rug. Turning his head, which he knew had not miraculously fallen right onto a robe balled up into a makeshift pillow, Severus saw Draco standing with his back to him, looking out of a window.
That Draco was clad only in his trousers and a thin black shirt confirmed Severus' suspicions of whose robe was currently doing double duty as a pillow. The shirt was torn in a few places, though the skin Severus could see through the rents in the fabric was smooth and unbroken. The normally sleek hair, having long ago escaped its binding, was now laying in a tangled mess across the back of Draco's shoulders.
I almost killed you, and yet you have no mark to show for it? Somehow, Severus doubted it. Though the younger man's body appeared unmarred, Severus knew that the worst scars were those that could not be seen. What have I done to you, Draco?
As if he had heard the thought, or could feel the older man's eyes on him, Draco turned around, affording Severus with a very clear view of exactly what he had done to the other Slytherin. Oh my gods…
With vivid clarity, Severus could recall what he had done to the Auror in the Ministry, could remember the feel of the man's mind breaking under his own, could still hear the screams ringing in his ears. He could still see the destruction he had brought down on Hogwarts' empty grounds, could still feel the fear emanating from the Muggles as they watched their comrades being cut down by some invisible enemy before being slaughtered themselves. He could remember abandoning Draco and Hermione to the Death Eater.
But he felt no remorse, when he thought back to that Auror who had tried to get in his way. If it would bring Harry back, Severus would bring the entire world to its knees without a second thought. Besides, if – against all odds – they succeeded, the Auror wouldn't really die anyway. And the only thing he felt upon remembering the deaths of the Muggles was regret that those deaths were as quick and painless as they had been. As for the Death Eater, Severus was what he was and sometimes what he was was still a Death Eater.
All of the shame that he could not feel, thinking back on his actions, flooded through him as he beheld Draco now. Of all the crimes that he had ever committed, and there had been so many, this one hurt the most. Hurt so badly that Severus could no longer look Draco in the eye and had to turn his head away, had to shut out the sight of the horrible, jagged scar that bisected the left side of Draco's neck and followed the line of his throat down to his collarbone.
He could so vividly recall the power that had been gathering in his mind, could remember the terrible focus with which he had centered it into the tip of his wand, could practically taste the bloodlust that had swept through him as he pressed the wand against the pale, once flawless flesh of Draco's throat.
"Severus?" There was naked concern in Draco's voice. "Are you all right?"
He could hear Draco's footsteps hurrying over, could feel his presence as he knelt down at Severus' side. "Severus?"
What do you want me to say? What can I say? Knowing that there was no help for it, Severus opened his eyes and found himself looking up into apprehensive grey eyes. "Are you all right?"
Draco's lips quirked in a half-smile, though the humor didn't reach the guarded worry in his eyes. "Why do you keep asking me that?"
"Draco…"
Draco rolled his eyes. "I'm fine, Severus. Fawkes…" A look of bafflement crossed his face. "Well, it's kind of weird, but when I woke up, Fawkes was crying on me and somehow that healed all of my injuries."
"Phoenix tears have healing properties," Severus explained quietly. Yet not even phoenix tears could completely erase a scar made by magical means. Nothing could.
Draco made a face. "I guess I should have been paying attention in Care of Magical Creatures, instead of trying to get Hagrid fired."
There was something entirely too flippant about Draco's attitude. I tried to kill you. I would have killed you. And yet you are looking at me as if you are afraid that you have done me some kind of grievous harm, when it was I who harmed you Severus sat up and turned so that he was looking Draco in the eyes.
"Draco, I…" Severus paused, trying to find the words. That was the problem with apologies: he wasn't very good at them and there wasn't one great enough for what he had done.
The humor disappeared from Draco's eyes. "Are you really here?" he asked softly, searching Severus' eyes intently.
"Yes."
After a moment's silence, Draco nodded with a genuine smile this time. "That's all I need to know."
"What I did-"
"Doesn't matter," Draco cut him off, shaking his head vehemently. "You're here. That's all that matters to me."
Severus' eyes flickered briefly to the scar marring Draco's throat.
"You know, it's funny," Draco told him, lips twisting into a raw, bitter smile. "I used to be envious of that stupid scar on his forehead. He never did anything, but yet that scar made him famous. He got away with everything, because of that damn thing." Draco looked away then and stared at the far wall as if it suddenly held all of the answers.
"For seven years I was judged by the scar on my forehead! For seven years I didn't matter, only my scar did!"
Severus felt his chest tighten uncomfortably. You mattered to me. My gods, how you mattered to me.
Standing up abruptly, Severus walked over to the window and leaned against the casing, folding his arms across his chest as if that would make the pressure lessen, as if that could make the lump in his throat go away. With sightless eyes he stared out into the sky, fighting what he knew to be a losing battle with himself.
Ah gods, what am I going to do? I cannot do this, not without you. I used to know how to do this, but I have forgotten. You made me forget. And now you are gone and I am still here. The words he had spoken to Harry that night resurfaced in his mind, mocking him with their prescience. "There are many kinds of pain, Harry. And the pain of death is the least of all. It is fleeting, while the pain of those left behind endures long after the dead are gone. It is nothing, compared to the pain of loss, of those who must continue on after everything they know and love are gone."
How many times must I be left behind? How many times must I stand by and watch as those that matter most leave me here alone? Why can I not go too? One by one, a procession of ghosts slowly marched through his mind. A set of silvery-blue eyes regarded him from a face that he had only to turn his head to behold again: the emotions too tangled for him to unravel. Then the image shifted, the eyes turning to a glittering sapphire blue that looked at him, not with accusation and disappointment, but with hope and faith. But Dumbledore faded away as quickly as Lucius had. And then there was only Harry, who smiled at him sadly before disappearing.
"Whatever the paths you choose to walk, know that I will walk them with you," Harry's words whispered to him out of a devastated world. "In this life, or the next, you will never be alone."
But I am alone, Harry. The path has been plunged into darkness, and I must walk it alone.
A hand touched his arm.
Startled, Severus glanced over and saw Draco standing there beside him. The younger man said nothing, simply held his gaze for a moment before turning his head to look out the window. "Our path is the same, Severus," whispered the memory of his words. "Let me walk beside you." After a moment spent studying his profile, Severus too turned to gaze at the grounds spread out before them.
They stood like that for a long time, shoulder to shoulder, watching the sun rise up over the mountains. Neither spoke. The words were not necessary.
Scene Shift
"Hermione's coming back," the words left Draco's mouth before he was entirely conscious of the intention to speak them, the sound abrasive after the long time of silence.
Severus tilted his head to look at him, one eyebrow raised in curiosity. "How do you know?"
Draco blinked, suddenly feeling dizzy. "I… don't know… That's odd. It was like a voice, whispering in my ear."
"And yet you insist in worrying over my sanity."
"I didn't say that I heard a voice! I said that it was like a…" Draco gaped at him. "Are you making jokes?"
Severus rolled his eyes. "I do possess a sense of humor, Mister Malfoy."
"Yeah, but-" Understanding finally struck, aided in part by the still haunted, pain-filled eyes. "Thank you, Severus." Thank you for coming back. Thank you for choosing to stay.
Nodding in acceptance of the thanks, Severus gave Draco's hand a pat and then removed it from where it still rested on his arm.
A moment later the door opened, causing both of them to turn to face the empty doorway. A second after it had closed, Hermione's head, quickly followed by the rest of her, appeared as she took off the invisibility cloak. Draco watched her eyes widen in surprise when she caught sight of them standing by the window.
"Is everything all right?" she asked, approaching them warily, folding up the cloak as she walked.
There were, Draco suddenly realized, two things that he could live his entire life without ever wanting to hear again: 'I'm sorry' and 'Are you all right?' Apologies were said merely to acknowledge a thing that could never be rectified, they had no power to change anything, and the things that they acknowledged were typically those that could never be forgotten. As for that much-hated question, chances were that if it needed to be asked in the first place, than the answer was already apparent.
Draco shrugged, deciding to answer the question she was trying to ask, as he took the cloak from her outstretched hand. "No one's trying to murder the other."
Her gaze flickered to Severus before returning to scrutinize him. "What happened to your injuries?"
"Fawkes-"
"Oh that's right!" Hermione exclaimed, shaking her head at herself. "I forgot about the phoenix tears."
"Okay, is that common knowledge or what?"
"To people who pay attention in class," Hermione replied haughtily.
Draco looked at Fawkes askance. "Better go into hiding, Fawkes, before the mediwizards get a hold of you and drain you dry." Fawkes ruffled his feathers, though whether it was in agreement or the phoenix equivalent of rolling the eyes, Draco didn't know.
When he turned back to her, Draco noticed Hermione's eyes on his throat. Tilting his head back, he pulled the collar of his shirt down and said wryly, "Yes indeed, Hermione, it's a scar. Get a good look now, before it disappears and you never see it again."
"Stop being a prat, Malfoy," Hermione responded automatically. "Maybe if we could make some kind of salve-"
"No," Draco snapped, dropping the joking veneer. "Leave it alone."
Her eyes widened. "But-"
"What did you find out?" Draco interrupted firmly, trying to convey, in no uncertain terms, that this was not a conversation he was willing to have.
He saw, out of the corner of his eye, the almost imperceptible shake of Severus' head when Hermione looked as if she were about to protest further. After an awkward moment, she seemed to acquiesce to the unspoken command to drop it. "We've gone back about a year and a half before the destruction of the school."
Draco nodded. "I know. I remember what happened today, from before. Coming the other way through time," he added then, trying to make the illogical sentence make sense.
Hermione gave him a long, considering stare.
"What?" he finally asked, when it became obvious that she wasn't planning on saying anything.
"Something just isn't adding up," she answered vaguely, still staring at him.
"What do you mean?" Severus asked curiously.
"It's just something I heard," she shook her head, seeming to gather her thoughts. "Draco, how much do you remember of today?"
Draco's eyebrow rose. That was a tricky question. "Today now? Or today a year and a half ago?"
"Today a… year and a half ago," Hermione answered slowly, as if reluctant to say something so stupid.
"I remember a lot of things," Draco shrugged. "Be more specific."
"What were you and Harry doing so early in the morning?"
"It wasn't that early! We were just on our way down to breakfast." He suddenly didn't like the way Hermione was looking at him, as if she were privy to some secret and was disappointed in his refusal to talk about it. But that's stupid. The only other thing that happened was the whole Muggle escapade, and there's no way she could possibly know about that. They had already gone back to their hotel by the time we showed up here.
"They had just gotten back from visiting Harry's Muggle friends," Severus offered easily, causing Draco to wonder just how much Harry had told Severus about the whole thing.
You said that you told him, but what did you tell him? I can't remember. Too much time had passed, too much had happened for him to recall properly. And there was no way he could ask without raising suspicions. 'By the way, Severus, did Harry ever tell you about that time we brought some Muggles to Hogwarts? No? Oh, my mistake. It must have been a dream.' Yeah, right, that'd go over well.
"You went to visit Muggles?" Hermione was looking at him in shock.
"Yes," he scowled at her. "So?"
"Why?"
Draco shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."
"Visiting Muggles seemed like a good idea?"
"Pestering Harry and embarrassing him in front of his friends seemed like a good idea," Draco clarified with a smirk that was only partially false.
"You're such a jerk," Hermione muttered, then added, "But that still doesn't explain why you were only just getting back from visiting them."
"We had a late night," Draco replied evasively. Showing them around the castle, getting out the picture albums. Yes indeed, a very late night.
"You stayed with them the entire night?"
"Is there some sort of problem here?"
Hermione's eyes narrowed as she smiled nastily at him. "I don't know, Draco. What do you make of the conversation I overheard between the Bloody Baron and Nearly Headless Nick, when I was out looking around?"
"What conversation? I don't remember any noteworthy conversations between the Baron and Nick," Draco answered truthfully.
"No? That's odd, because they were talking about how interesting it was to see you and Harry getting along so well."
There was an insinuation there that Draco did not appreciate. "What are you talking about?"
Hermione raised her eyebrows at the undercurrent of anger in his voice. "I think you misunderstand me."
"I'd clear that misunderstanding up in a hurry, if I were you."
"They were simply commenting on how you must have resolved whatever issues you had with each other. Either that or you must have been out fighting, to be sneaking around the corridors at such an early hour this morning."
Oh shit. The indignant, self-righteous anger drained away, along with what felt like most of the blood in his face.
"It's funny," Hermione continued after a moment of watching his face pale, "how you were with the Muggles all night, yet somehow you both managed to be here in the castle, as well."
Yeah, ha ha. It's a veritable laugh riot, Hermione.
"Draco?"
He looked at Severus blankly. I guess this answers my question of how much you told him. Damn it, Harry. Why are you always leaving someone else to clean up your mess?
"What is going on?"
Draco found himself almost wishing that it really was what Severus sounded like he was assuming it to be. At least then he'd understand. So now I get to accept his disappointment in your place. Since when did I become the repository for all of your misdeeds, Harry? It was a stupid question, he knew precisely when that had happened. Draco sighed, unable to find a way out of his predicament. My life is such a fucking joke.
"We brought Kevin and Ben here," Draco told Severus bluntly, looking unflinchingly into the man's eyes. "After he told them everything, we brought them here."
"What? You did what?" Hermione exclaimed, but Draco ignored her.
There was a flicker of something in Severus' eyes but it was gone before Draco could place it. "I knew that he had told them about the Wizarding world. I had been expecting that since the moment he regained his memories. However," Severus continued quietly, his tone still mild and expressionless, "he never mentioned that they had received a guided tour of the castle."
"No, that would be my job," Draco muttered under his breath.
Severus raised an eyebrow.
Running his hand back through his hair and scowling when his fingers got tangled in knots, Draco set about filling in the gaps that Harry had left in his story.
Scene Shift
I do not know why I am even remotely surprised, Severus thought as Draco wrapped up the tale of what had truly happened when Harry's Muggle friends had come to England. It sounds exactly like something you would have done. And really, knowing Harry as he had come to over the years, Severus realized that he should have not only foreseen it, but taken it for a given as well.
Just as he really should not be surprised at the way Draco was looking at him now, bracingly yet oddly defiant, as if he knew Harry had done something stupid but was prepared to defend that stupidity even though he had been against it from the beginning. In other circumstances, Severus would have been hard-pressed to keep from smirking. Now, the stubborn loyalty just conspired to make the ache in his chest that much more difficult to bear.
"I still do not believe that Kevin and Ben are responsible for what happened," Severus told Draco sincerely. "Perhaps Harry's decision was not the wisest, but even I cannot find reason for them to betray the trust Harry placed in them." He could see the relief flash briefly across Draco's face, could detect the hint of gratitude in his eyes that Severus had not denounced Harry for his choice of action, or Draco for his participation in it.
It is not your fault, Draco, Severus thought, unable to give voice to the words. Because you know that it is your fault that Harry is dead, a voice responded darkly. You cannot grant Draco the absolution he needs because you have none for yourself. Had you not lost control, perhaps you would not have made such a mistake with the Time Turner. And had you not appeared at that moment, perhaps Harry would still be alive.
"But still," Hermione protested, "it was a terrible risk."
"Your parents are Muggles," Draco snapped back. "Isn't that a risk?"
She blinked. "No. They're a part of this world, even if only in the periphery."
"But they wouldn't be, if it weren't for you being a witch," Draco shook his head. "Why can't you see that the world isn't black and white? Good, trustworthy Muggles aren't granted wizarding children due to some cosmic plan to insure our world isn't betrayed. Look at Harry's relatives, if you need proof of that. You live the hand that you're dealt. Sometimes Muggle families are dealt a wizarding child, in the same way that wizarding families get dealt a Squib. Life doesn't bother to verify whether you're a right bastard or not first."
It never ceased to amaze him how different they had become in adulthood. During their adolescence, Severus had pegged Draco as the unbending, narrow-minded traditionalist who would never realize that there was no black or white, just a grey that changed shade to match the individual who looked upon it. And while Hermione was by no means narrow-minded or traditionalistic, Severus had a suspicion that too many fights against the Dark Lord had established a precedent in her mind for 'good' and 'evil' that tended to blind her from the fact that there truly were no such things.
"Everything is a risk, Hermione," Draco continued relentlessly. "You took a risk every time you aided Harry in his idiotic adventures. You took another when you agreed to be a part of this. Life is a risk, but you can't sit around waiting for everyone else to make your decisions for you."
They glared at each other in silence then, locked in a contest of will that Severus wondered if they even understood. Fighting over the past on a battlefield of ghosts. The years stretched out behind him, the four decades of his life weighing heavily on his mind as he remembered his own battles, fought with all the ferocity of a breaking heart.
"Who are you really, Draco Malfoy?" Hermione asked finally, breaking the silence as she studied him through narrowed eyes. "Beneath all of the bluster and bullshit?"
An ironic, bittersweet smile played across his lips. "I am exactly who I need to be, Hermione, to do what I must."
"Which is what?" she asked suspiciously.
"See the story through to its completion."
"What story? What are you talking about?"
Draco glanced at Severus for a fraction of a second before he looked back to Hermione with a shrug. "The story, Hermione. There's only one."
"What are we doing?"
"Don't you know?"
"Obviously not."
"We're writing the story, Severus."
"What story?"
"The story of my life."
"The world doesn't revolve around you, Lucius."
"You're right, it doesn't."
"Why do I bother?"
"De te fabula."
"The world doesn't revolve around me, either."
"Mine does."
There were times when the line between who Draco was and who Lucius could have been blurred so badly that Severus wondered who it was that he saw, whenever he looked into the wintry eyes. And it was during times like those when Severus found that the ghost that had haunted him for so long was not quite as insubstantial and intangible as he had once believed it to be. The tragedies of our lives keep repeating. No matter what we do, they return and we are helpless to resist them. Time is not a river, Hermione. It is a whirlpool, unbroken and never-ending. And yet…
There was something there, some glimmer of a thought that had passed too quickly through his mind for Severus to grasp. But he knew that for one infinitesimal instant he had understood, not just the nature of time, but its secrets as well. He had known, though that knowledge had disappeared as soon as it had manifested itself, how to change it.
Hope, treacherous thing that it was, flared to life within him. If he had figured it out once, he could figure it out again. And then, he would remember…
Brought out of the mire of his desolate musings, Severus realized that the conversation between Draco and Hermione had denigrated into their usual bickering, although he was rather interested to note that ever so slowly, it was beginning to take on a tone of good-natured grumbling the more frequently it occurred.
Watching the two of them interact afforded Severus the opportunity to see just what a masterful manipulator Draco truly was. He had been a victim of it on more than one occasion, but he had never been in a position to watch it happen. There was an artlessness about the way Draco reacted to people, shifting the masks he wore based on the situation and the emotions of the person he was dealing with, that Lucius had never been able to achieve. Where the father had been motivated by his own self-interest, the son's intentions were far more nebulous.
Sometimes, it seemed as if Draco was just trying to get a rise out of people, which was something that Severus could understand. But more often than not, it seemed as if Draco was purposely manipulating people into what was, whether they knew it or not, exactly what they needed. There was an inherent selflessness in such an act that Severus could not understand, especially considering that it was in a Malfoy that such a trait was manifesting itself.
This is what you have done to us, Severus reflected, looking back through his memories to a face that he knew would never fade, even if he spent the rest of his life seeking to restore it to life. You found reason and validation where there had been nothing but jaded disappointment. You picked up the shattered pieces and, against all expectation, you figured out how to put them back together again. You gave back to us everything we thought that we had lost and in so doing, you bound us together in a way that I had never imagined possible.
As if he knew that Severus was watching him – and Severus thought that he did – Draco cut off the fussing with Hermione and looked over at him. "What is it?"
"For a moment, I knew what it is that we have to do," Severus answered, feeling a flash of frustrated irritation with himself when he saw the hope spark to life in their eyes. "I lost the thread almost immediately after I had the epiphany, but now I know that there is a way to fix this. And in time, I will recall what it is."
"What were you thinking about when you had the insight?" Hermione asked.
"Time," Severus answered dryly.
The corner of her mouth twitched. "Ah, right."
"I do have a question for you," Severus continued. "When you were out gathering information, did you perchance happen to find out where we are?"
Hermione actually smiled at the question. "Harry never told you?"
There appeared to be no end to the list of things that Harry had never told him. "Pretend for a moment that I did not attend the Harry Potter School of Stupidity, Miss Granger, and therefore do not in fact know all of the bizarre little hidey holes that the lot of you have unearthed these past years."
"It was during our Fifth Year and-"
"This is the room that you lot were hiding in!" Draco exclaimed in sudden recollection. "Although, you know, it's funny but before today, I don't think I've seen it since that night we ratted you out to Umbridge."
"You wouldn't have," Hermione replied. "Unless you were in need of it."
"More magical rooms," Severus muttered in disgust. "As if the students do not get into enough trouble on their own."
"Is that why no one heard us when Severus and I were fighting?" Draco asked. "It didn't cross my mind then, but now that I've had time to think about it, I have to say that I do wonder how it was that no one heard us, what with all the noise and discharging of magic."
I would not call passively allowing me to kill you 'fighting', Draco, Severus thought, suppressing the urge to sigh.
"Harry told me once that Albus told him about this place, that it was a room that appeared whenever you were most in need of it. I daresay that we were in need."
"Does it normally do magic on its own?"
Hermione blinked. "What?"
"Before," Draco clarified, waving a hand around vaguely. "That wall of fire. Did it know that I needed some help, too?"
"Um…" Hermione glanced at Severus as if for support.
I am afraid that this is your area of expertise, Mrs. Weasley. Not mine, Severus thought idly, looking back at her impassively.
Looking more than a little flustered now, Hermione resorted to shaking her head at Draco. "We used this room to practice our Defense Against the Dark Arts spells back in Fifth Year and the room never volunteered to help us out."
"Did you need help with them?" Draco shrugged. "Maybe it just knew that I damn well needed help."
"I really don't think that that's how it works, Draco," Hermione replied slowly.
"Well, it sure as hell wasn't me! That leaves you and Severus and somehow, I don't think either one of you threw up that shield," Draco finished, looking at them for confirmation.
The shaking of heads occurred in tandem.
"We're back to the room again," Draco said.
"While we're discussing concerns, there's something else that's been worrying me," Hermione spoke up.
Draco groaned. "Don't you ever have anything good to tell us?"
Hermione gave him a level stare. "If I come up with a way to save the world and get us safely back home without incident, you'll be the first person I tell."
"All right, you've made your point," Draco muttered before sighing heavily and loftily waving his hand at her. "Go ahead, oh Harbinger of Doom. Speak, that us mere mortals may cringe and cower in terror."
"For the sake of argument, let's say we can affect the past and change the future," Hermione postulated, not deigning to comment on his theatrics.
"I fail to find the doom in this," Draco said dubiously, subsiding immediately when Severus looked at him and raised an eyebrow.
"Take what happened in the hallway," Hermione replied, seemingly oblivious to the silent exchange taking place. "Now Draco, you have memories of that incident because we were here for it to happen. If we manage to prevent the discovery of the wizarding world, the three of us will not be coming back in time to stop it, because it won't have happened. Are you following me so far?"
"Yes."
"All right. So if it never happened, and we were never here, what becomes of the memory you possess of seeing Severus in the hallway?"
Clearly, Draco didn't understand what she was asking, yet something in him must have had an inkling that whatever she meant couldn't possibly be good, because he was now staring at her uneasily. "I want to say 'who cares,' but I get the feeling that you'd say that I should, before explaining it to the point where I do care."
"Malfoy…"
Pushing himself up from his lounge against the wall, Draco started to pace. "Personally Hermione, I don't care if I lose that memory." He glanced at Severus. "No offense, Severus, but I think I can live just fine for the rest of my life without ever having to see that look in your eyes."
Having not had the opportunity to look into a mirror since he had awoken to discover that Harry was dead, Severus had not seen first-hand what look it was to which Draco was referring. Although, if he even looked half as terrible as he felt, Severus knew he would be a horrible sight indeed. "None taken." I could live without ever having seen that scar upon your throat. And with that thought, Severus suddenly understood what it was that Hermione was trying to say.
"You're just reacting, Draco," Hermione pointed out. "You're not actually thinking through what you're saying."
"I'm not just reacting, Hermione," Draco disagreed. "I mean it. I don't want to see it to remember it. I'd rather never see it. Especially if never seeing it means that none of this ever happened."
"But what else won't happen, if that never does?" she asked him quietly.
Draco stopped in mid-step. "What?"
"After you and Harry saw Severus, what happened?"
Draco's eyes lost focus as he searched his memories. "Harry got upset," he told Hermione a moment later, gaze sharpening back on the here-and-now. "Since they weren't talking at the time, Harry asked me to go talk to Severus in his place and make sure everything was all right."
"What became of that?"
Draco shrugged. "They started talking again. But surely that would have happened anyway. I mean, this is-" he paused, the mask he had put on for Hermione's benefit cracking for an instant. "…was… Harry. He wouldn't have gone forever without trying to speak to Severus again."
How much more must we suffer before the end? Severus thought morosely, knowing where the conversation was headed and unable to do anything to stop it. Forgive me for what I must do, Draco. But there is no other way.
"He didn't need to have gone forever," Hermione was saying softly. She turned her eyes to Severus. "How soon after you started speaking to him again, Severus, was it before Cornelius Fudge came to arrest you?"
"Not long." When had his voice become so worn and hollow? He looked helplessly at Draco. I cannot protect you from this.
Draco's eyes widened as he finally began to understand. "And Harry prevented the dementor from delivering the Kiss…" he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "Oh shit…"
Hermione nodded. "Now do you understand? It's more than just the problem of trying to change the future. Even if we can, what else would we end up changing?"
Draco was already shaking his head in denial before she had even finished asking the question. "Harry would not have stood by and done nothing, Hermione. Even if he still thought that Severus hated him, he would have done something."
Severus could see the understanding, and the sorrow that it caused, in Hermione's eyes as she looked from Draco to him. "After it was over, Ron told me all about what happened the day that Fudge came to arrest you. He said that you went without a fight. Even with Fudge deliberately baiting you. Why?"
"Because…"
"Your faith will be rewarded."
Because I had a reason not to fight.
"So what would have happened if you had fought them? What if you hadn't made it to the trial? What if they had just killed you there, in self-defense? What did that singular event set into motion?" Hermione turned to Draco again."You and Harry saw Severus in the hallway, but that single event could have had a ripple effect that stretched far beyond that day. We don't know what that set in motion. We don't know what else we would change. It could very well be that we'd create more problems than we'd solve."
Draco was looking back and forth between Hermione and Severus with a bewildered, helplessly aghast expression on his face. Finally, he sagged back against the wall, face pale and wan. "This can't be happening. It just can't be happening. You're telling me that by saving Harry we'd be killing Severus?"
"I'm not saying that for a fact," Hermione corrected him. "I'm just saying that there's more to consider than simply figuring out how to change the future. We need to make sure that if we can, we don't end up changing the wrong things."
"It does not matter."
Draco gaped at him. "What? No, it does. She's right, Severus. What if that moment saved you?"
"I'm not-" Hermione began.
"It is irrelevant," Severus cut her off. Your priorities are skewed, Draco.
"No, it's not!" Draco shot back vehemently. "You can't just-"
"I would rather that there be a world in which Harry lives, even if I do not, than a world in which he is gone and I am alive," Severus replied quietly. This world needs you, Harry. It has never needed me.
"You can't do that," Draco whispered in a voice shot through with horror. "You can't buy his life with your own!"
"Watch me."
Draco's eyes narrowed as his expression froze somewhere between rage and fear. "You'd leave him here alone?" he snarled in furious disbelief. "You'd consign him to a world like this, without you? You'd force him to live a life alone?"
Severus looked intently into the cold, angry eyes, looked beyond the raging emotions to the heart of the man beneath, before saying softly, "He would not be alone."
Draco froze, the blood drained from his face as if the words had been edged in steel and thrust deep within his chest. "What did you say?" he whispered harshly, the words emerging as if they had been torn from his throat, jagged and raw.
"Harry would not be alone."
Draco stared at him with stricken eyes for a moment longer before turning on his heel and walking away. Halfway to the door, Draco shook out the invisibility cloak and settled it on his shoulders. Then, without a word or backward glance, he opened the door, pulled the cloak over his head, and disappeared.
