Chapter 4! Sorry for the wait! I took in mind what you guys said, and I have made a decision on what shall happen in the shack. I really hope you don't hate me for it. Not my best work, but it had to be written. This chapter really captures Ernst's lack of education. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: You know this really gets annoying stating the (nearly) obvious all the time.
Hanschen's POV
I lightly shoved Ernst on the hard wood floor, placing him on top of me. We where lying on top of each other and could feel every singly wrinkly in the fabric that separated our bodies. I just told Ernst that I was going to teach him because he had no experience in the area before. I cannot say it is difficult to believe. The boy was so small and meek. He believed in the Lord like his life depended on it, which I guess it does, and he read the Bible just out of mere habit and escape for loneliness.
I must say though, Ernst was very desirable as a lover, even though we were two males. He has talent that is hard to see go to waste. He had a whole lot more in him than he was displaying, though, probably for insecurity reasons. It is reasonable that one would be shy starting something they never even thought about doing before, especially with a man like me who is not modest or shy whatsoever. It is hard not to have pity for the boy. I could only imagine what it must be like 'spending time' with me.
I pressed further onto his lips, feeling the innocence of his young, soft, lips. The lips of which could only be Ernst. He froze for a second, noticing how heavy this moment had become. I could sense he was curious what I was trying to start, but he was nervous, to the point where I had to cut in. As I gave him a gentle nudge to get him to sit up I spoke my mind.
"Ernst are you okay?" I was a tad bit hurt that Ernst did not feel like engaging in my activities that I considered being privileges for other people. "You seem to have a considerable amount of added unwillingness to participate in my games. More so than usual."
Ernst stayed there for a few moments to think up an answer. "H-Hanschen, I have been thinking about the other day in the vineyard when we kissed and I told you that I loved you. However you did not say the same to me. What does 'and so you should' mean?"
At that moment all I could think of was that I underestimated little Ernst. He could pick up on small details even I hadn't noticed.
Shit. What am I going to say? 'Oh yes, I don't love you I am only taking advantage of you because you are weak and I am strong. Sorry! Hope you have better luck next time.' That is not going to work. Oh my! I am taking advantage of him aren't I! Well at least I can tell he enjoys it…
Ernst looked at me questioningly, staying perfectly still. He wanted an answer.
"That is a good question…" I hesitated.
"Hanschen, what were we going to do?" Ernst forces, not giving me time to answer because he could see that I wasn't going to tell him I loved him.
Ernst's expression was becoming more and more pained as time elapsed and he slowly began moving away. We both knew something was going to happen.
"Ernst, I… we…" I was at a loss for words… for Ernst! Shy, tiny, meek, innocent little Ernst. Unbelievable.
I was starting to feel something for him that I was not expecting. This something made me feel quite guilty for taking advantage of Ernst.
On the other side though, Ernst was perfect for my needs and also a great friend overall. I did not want to lose him or his spirited innocence that made me feel like the only boy in the world after I kissed him.
No, I was going to continue, no matter how much it pained him, or me for that matter. Truth be told, I am Hanschen and Hanschen is not to be stopped by a small boy and his small feelings, especially while engaging in these types of activities.
Instead of continuing to speak, I drew Ernst's head closer and put his lips on mine, attempting to restart what had been stopped a little while earlier. I opened my mouth and granted my tongue entrance to his mouth. It seemed like Ernst was warming up a bit more. It was obvious that it was hard for him to refuse me, but he would definitely not forget what he was going to say for now at least.
He commanded a lot more than I ever thought he would. Someone couldn't be so oblivious to say that the boy did not have raw talent. It was nice not being the only dominating person while kissing.
I decided to take it to the next step. Perhaps if we went far enough he would forget about what he was saying and go along with me.
I put my hands at the top of his stiff white school shirt and undid the first button. He looked up at me in surprise and stopped any motion he was making.
Ernst POV
I was going to ask Hanschen to see if he loved me because I felt as if we shouldn't continue this if he was just using me.
However, Hanschen crushed my lips with his before I could say anything else about the vineyard episode. I was not going to forget it, but for that time I thought I would just go along with Hanschen. It did seem rather enjoyable from his anxiety…
All of a sudden Hanschen forced his tongue in my mouth, exploring every which way he could, all the time hugging me closely to his body. I did not know what I should have been doing, so I basically went along with Hanschen and savored the experience.
I started to wonder if this was real, as in his feelings toward me.
Does he feeling that erratic need for us to be touching and kissing and holding one another whenever we lock eyes in school or elsewhere?
Does he constantly think about me, even when he tries not to?
Does he constantly think about me in a certain situation with him just with much less clothes on than now?
Does he think about both of our bodies pressed firmly together just like we are two objects in a magnetic field?
Does he know that God does not support the two of us together in a relationship like this and that we are going to hell because of it?
And lastly…
Does he love me as much as I love him?
The only question I could answer confidently was the most important one, which is the last one. I knew he loved me, I just knew that he did not know he loved me. That was why I let him continue our fun before he admitted to loving me. Other wise I would be walking out so quickly.
I was fairly sure that Hanschen thought he was taking advantage of me. He might have even felt bad for me. Somehow I let my mind ignore that feeling and just let loose for a change. I might as well have some fun, right? Hanschen was beautiful, in every way possible. There was nothing I wanted more than to kiss him all day. The only thing was, I knew there was something far more intimate and heavy than just kissing, but I did not know what. All I knew was that that was meant for adults, people who are much older and know exactly what they were doing. There was no way Hanschen was going to go farther than this. God was against it, my parents were against it, and I guess I was against it. It, whatever it was, was out of the question.
Besides, if whatever it is pertained to me, my parents would have educated me about it. I just advanced on Hanschen even more.
My curiosity kept growing. As I said before, I was positive that there was an act between two people in love that they could do to tell their partner how much they love them, and I actually really wanted to know what it was. I knew it had to do with two people being without clothes on…
I kept kissing Hanschen and the fluttering in my stomach, the heated red blush on face, and my excitement for the situation at hand stayed with me during the whole time in the shack. It felt beyond spectacular to be that close with Hanschen and feel his warmth and body. I did not want the moment to end. I smiled to myself because I was so elated.
Then…
Hanschen raised one of his hands to my shirt and undid my top button. I froze because I was confused at first. Then I knew what he wanted from me. Was I going to let him though? This was completely new territory and I have never done something like before. What was he going to do with my clothes off? I knew somewhat, but not really.
I gazed up at Hanschen's piercing eyes trying to figure the whole blur of the situation out. He had some confusion in his eyes, but they were mostly consumed with a desire, a need, for something. That something had to be me.
"Hanschen? What are you doing?" I asked as innocently as possible to try to sway him onto 'my side'.
"Teaching you."
"What exactly? Please tell me."
Perhaps what Hanschen is trying to teach me is about the mysterious 'act'.
Hanschen sat me up with a long pause, not wanting to get up and stop. He could tell I knew nothing. We leaned back on the left wall of the shack, shirt sleeves touching. I could still feel Hanschen's warmth.
"Your parent never told you anything?" Hanschen asked rhetorically quietly. It was more like a knowing statement than a question though. Without even a nod from me he let on, "Of course not. Mine didn't either. I had to come to Melchior to learn the filthy truth." He continued even quieter.
"Filthy truth?" What could be the filthy truth?
"Yes." After that, Hanschen paused. It was noticeable that he did not feel like telling me this. He was guilty!
"Look, why can't I just show you?" He said with a seductive grin on his face. Without letting me say anything he undid all the buttons on my shirt while his tongue was connected to my mouth, and pulled it off. It literally took me that long for me to process what Hanschen was getting at. He wanted to do it all to me without me knowing what it is.
Hanschen caressed my chest and brought me closer to him, groaning in pleasure as he did so. After that, he grabbed my belt buckle and began undoing that as well. My mind was racing after he pulled it off and threw it across the shack, letting it hit the wall with a loud 'thud' on the other side.
"Wait! I don't know what you are doing!" I started to panic and thought about whether this could be dangerous or if it might hurt. It was all new and scary for me, so you can imagine I didn't know where to go with this.
I got up immediately, not wanting to take my chances. I lost all my control and shrieked, "I am so sorry Hanschen, and I need to go!" With that, I grabbed my shirt and ran out into the forest near the hayfield. I kept sprinting strait ahead of me, as I heard Hanschen's footsteps behind me.
It took a good five minutes for me to calm down and notice where I was. Luckily I recognized this as close to Anna's back yard because I saw the huge tree that looked like an arrow pointing to her house. We used to get together and play fun games in the forest, so I got to know that climbing tree. I followed the arrow to her house and was walking back to my home that was the second closest to my house (other than Georg) on the dirt road I had come to know and love so much.
As I passed Georg's house I swear I could hear his mesmerizing piano playing start and stop as if practicing. I contemplated dropping in to say hi, but brushed the thought from my mind. We weren't very close as friends anyway and it would be nothing but awkwardness.
I stopped and put my shirt back on. I was about to put my belt around my waste, but in my hasten to leave I had forgot it.
Oh well, I will just go back tomorrow to get it.
By that time, I had lost Hanschen a while ago, so I had no rush. I still did not want to see him though as much as I still loved him. It was still too nervous for that.
As I walked, I remembered what Hanschen had said. I really had not made anything of it, but it could be of good use to me, so I thought to use it. He said to me, "Of course not. Mine didn't either. I had to come to Melchior to learn the filthy truth." He mentioned Melchior. Perhaps if I ask Melchior, he will tell me and I don't need to worry about learning about it with Hanschen while doing, whatever it is.
I decided that idea was as good as any, and headed towards Melchior's house.
As I approached the large brown house belonging to the Gabor's, my nerves set in. What if he laughed? Somehow I knew it was going to be alright. Melchior was friendly to all, even though I did not talk to him often. This would work out all fine.
I walked through the flowers, taking the stepping stones obviously, admiring the house's 'life'. There was plant life and color everywhere. This was something that made me smile. It was my second time being at Melchior's house. The first was for work on a project at school.
I was at the doorstep and knocked. Melchior opened the door with a slightly interesting expression on his face. He was not expecting me of all people to come to his house, especially without an invitation.
"Ernst! Come in!" The surprise stayed on his face as he ushered me inside. "Can I get anything for you? My mother is making tea at the moment."
I just noticed how much I would love some tea. Even though I might have been imposing I had to gratefully accept.
"Yes, please. Tea sounds wonderful!"
When we were both seated with tea, it was time to get down to business.
"So Ernst. What brings you here today?"
A shudder ran over my body as I started wondering why I was there. Perhaps I shouldn't have come at all, but I did want to know what was happening and Melchior was the most likely person to talk to.
I did not know what I should say that would give him the right impression, but not over do it. I was not going to mention me being with Hanschen, because that would let the possible secret out to the public. There was not much that I could tell him. I did not want to lie.
"Ummm… well…" I always have to stutter at the worst possible times!
"Yes…" Melchior pushed. He could tell that I was having a hard time. "It is okay. Just tell me whatever you need to. I promise not to tell anyone else." He said reassuringly.
"Well, alright. Today… in the woods… me and… and another… person… we kind of did… a lot of things together…" Hopefully he could get what was needed out of that. If not I could try to tell more.
Melchior smiled.
He smiled.
At a time like that! I could not believe it! This was not a laughing matter!
I just continued. "We kissed… a lot… and then… they took off my shirt and… and my buckle… and then I left because I was confused… what happened? They said you told them about… it… so I came here too." I finished. By this time, Melchior was laughing much harder.
I looked at him in bewilderment and when he saw my expression, he spoke.
"You too, eh?" Huh?
"W-What do you mean?" I asked incredulously.
"You are the second person to ask me about this in a week." He smirked again as he took in my scared expression. "Look. It is perfectly okay to come to me, I am glad you did. I would love to talk to you about it." This made me relax instantly. "It is a bit weird though that you of all people would engage in such behavior. Perhaps you desire more than you look like."
I had no clue what he was talking about.
"Now. I will tell you everything you need and want to know. I shall warn you though, it is not a very light subject. Can I ask you something?"
"Of c-course."
"Do you have certain fantasy dreams? They may be an a bed with another person…" That was all it took for me to answer.
"Yes. Every night."
"This is exactly what I thought. Alright, let's get started."
With that, Melchior told me everything, and when I say everything, I mean everything…
So that was chapter three! It was a lot different, and not very well written, but I tried to capture Ernst's innocence. I thought it would be too early for Hanschen and Ernst to actually go the whole way.
A couple things: Is this story still a Teen story, or should it be Mature???
Also: I am thinking about getting a beta for this story, but I do not know how to do so. Any help would make me very happy and earn you a virtual cookie!
Next chapter won't have as much fluff in it. I don't think. We will see.
More reviews= happier writer with more inspiration= frequent updates= overall better story!
