What had happened, where was she. The calming white light had faded, leaving nothing but emptiness behind it. Natalia slowly started to become aware of her surroundings, or rather she understood that she was in a hospital- but could not move or open her eyes. Why was she here, confusion clouded her newly awoken mind, not a person seemed to be present. She slowly reached a higher level of consciousness, the memories started to return. Her very soul screamed in frustration , while her body made no sound. Why was she still here? Who had interrupted her attempt to escape her pain?

"You may not visit for long, she has still shown no sign of waking up" said an unknown voice. Natalia figured she was a nurse.

"I still want to see her." That voice, she recognized that voice! Could she trust her senses, was he visiting her after so many years. Ivan, he who had sworn to avoid her at all costs, had he finally decided that she was worth the trouble. Desperately attempting to will her body to move, she had to talk to him, embrace him. It was all in vain, no matter how much she attempted to move even the smallest finger, her body was to weak. Natalia thought she heard him say something to the nurse. Said woman left the room and closed the door behind her.

"Natalia, I doubt you can hear me." He sat down somewhere close to the right side of the hospital bed. "I should have talked to you years ago. Ever since you as a child got that deranged obsession to marry me. Once it pained me to see you sad, then it became increasingly creepy. The way your eyes followed me whatever I did, you stalked me and how your jealousy almost drove Alfred away. Why Natalia? I can never answer your feelings." He said, voice sweet, yet frustrated. Tears were threatening to fall from her eyes as he spoke. Natalia still loved him with every fibre in her body.

A knock interrupted the silence. "Pardon me, but the visiting time is over, she must rest now" it was the nurse. The sweet aura surrounding Ivan suddenly disappeared, in its place an icy cold one rose.

"Leave." he said.

"But sir, you must" she barley finished her sentence before she inhaled in fear and left. Terrified by the cold expression in Ivan's face.

"Sister, I have my notions of why you did this, if you hear me known that I want to mend the bond, which have been broken. However it can only happen if you stop " He took her hand in his. She was beyond shocked and could no longer hold back her tears. If there was a way to save her relationship with Ivan she would gladly take it.

Dear diary

? of January

I have been here for a few days now, or rather that is what I can remember. The hours are passing slowly and I have few visitors. Ivan has not visited my since that day when I woke, must admit I am surprised he came once, but very happy. Wishing to full fill his wish to be friends again, I have tried to kill all affections I held for him. Trust me diary, killing love is a painful process. A high price, but I will see this through, I want to reunite with him.

Yekatrina have visited me twice, that I know of at least. It appears to be she who found me, I sill yearn for the white light that I saw when I almost crossed over. Now I have little more to live for, but still not much. I fear the news will spread like wildfire through school. Great, now I will not only be the insane incest girl, but also that suicidal sister of Ivan.

Elizaveta has not been allowed to visit me, but she has written several letter to. She has such a wicked pen, it really brightens my days. The descriptions of what is passing in my absence makes me forget my own trouble and pain for a while.

According to the nurse I will be back in school soon. While I don't particularly am looking forward to it, anything is better then these four walls.