Chapter 4
Truth.
My first thought was to run. My second… well, I didn't have a second. Before I could even take a step, a shadowy figure formed faintly not too far in front of me. I had to squint in the dark to see better, but I still couldn't make out the person who called out my name. I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it. What would I say? "Hey?" No.
"Nico!" the voice called out again.
I am not afraid. I am not afraid. I am not afraid.
I tripped over my own feet and stumbled backwards. I may not be afraid, but I am so not going to find out who they were. I got ready to run, my feet sliding backwards on the concrete, when the voice spoke once more.
"It's me"
I stopped walking. I stopped breathing. I knew that voice. That voice. But it couldn't be… could it?
After all these weeks… months...
"Will?" my voice quivered. The shadow came more into view, a tall, gorgeous man, his blonde hair looked beautiful against the pale moonlight.
"Hey Neeks" Will smiled, his eyes glassy.
I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. My whole world came back to me.
It's crazy to think that that one person, that one person that could have had anyone he wanted, could've had anyone in the whole world, choose you. The one that was just so perfect for you, perfect for anyone, and you got picked. You got picked as there number one.
But I didn't know that much yet. I mean… I hope he was.
I didn't know how to respond. I want to kiss him and punch him at the same time.
"Will!" I screamed as I ran towards him so quickly and leaped into his ams. We stood there in awed silence, arms wrapped around each other like there was no tomorrow. Finally, I broke our little embrace and pushed him.
"Solace! Don't fucking do that again you hear me!"
I huffed and wiped the tears out of my eyes. I hated it when people saw me cry. But he only smiled at me. I sighed in frustration, but I knew I couldn't be mad at him for long. He pulled me into his chest and hugged me tight. I couldn't keep in the tears.
"I missed you" he breathed.
This was the most perfect moment. The moment I have been waiting for my whole life.
(line break)
I stood near the window frame, keeping quiet and letting the coffee in my hands grow cold. The warm cup made my fingers prickle with warmth. There was only silence in the room. Will sat on his bed, too far away to touch. I wanted to touch him. To feel his warmth. To just be around him.
But I didn't want to risk it.
And apparently he didn't either.
Finally after moments of hearing only the heavy breathing fill the room, Will shifted uncomfortably on his bed. Now he was on his back, looking up at the bare ceiling. I didn't even flinch.
"You know," he said softly "You don't have to be afraid"
"I'm not."
He faced me, a concerned look in his eyes shadowed across it. "Yes Nico, I know I messed up. If you give me time to talk… I will." I stayed silent. The truth is, I really was mad at him. I spent days and nights worrying if he was ok, and waited for the phone to ding. I wanted him to give me any sign that he still cared. But he didn't. And now I know the truth.
"Don't overthink it" he said. I could feel his stare on my face but I couldn't look. I wouldn't find out if it was just my imagination or reality.
"I'm not."
He sighed and gave up. But I never wanted him to give up. Tears started to form in my eyes. I wanted to respond to him, in a harsh, deep tone, but I couldn't.
He stayed silent.
"I…" my voice trailed off. I knew I had to say something. He sat there and waited for me to say it. Waited for all the harsh words to come out of my mouth and strike him down. But I didn't. I kept quiet.
"Please" he pleaded. "Answer me."
I can't.
"Please Nico."
I flinched at him saying my name. I wonder how many times he said it while he was gone… or when we parted. I wonder how many times he even thought about me.
I shouldn't care.
But yet I do.
When he doesn't.
He got up and inched towards me, closer and closer until our faces were only inches apart. I looked at my hands. I can't look at him. It's too much pain for me… and too much for him. He kept quiet, but took my hand. Heat swirled in my cheeks and to the rest of my face. I really hope he didn't notice it.
He let go of my hands and traveled them up to my face, touching my chin and guiding me to look into his eyes with a soft nudge. I closed my eyes and breathed in. When I opened them, his blue ones were looking directly at me. I didn't know what I saw. Guilt, disappointment, relief, but I wanted him to see my eyes. I wanted him to look through them and let them show how I really feel. I might not know it just yet, and he might know it before me, but i'd rather him know now then to waste time looking into another's eyes. To see the type of things he would have if I didn't show it to him now. I finally remembered how to breathe.
He smiled at me when I faced him, when we made eye contact. He cupped my cheeks with his hands and bringed his forehead to mine. The warmth of his breath made me feel warm. There were no other words then to define this moment as a lie. Stop it… He closed his eyes in front of me, his lashes creating webs on his cheekbones. Please stop. "I am so sorry Nico" he whispered to me. "You deserve so much better than what you are going through."
To me that was funny, but it never showed. I'm glad it didn't.
"That is a joke…" I finally whispered back. He stayed silent. "No, actually, I am the joke."
He looked up and opened his eyes. They were bright and fierce.
"No Nico, you are no joke. Not now, not ever. Don't you dare say that again.." he grabbed my hands again, they were cold now, almost as cold as mine. Almost as cold as ice. I ignored him, which he wasn't too happy about. I decided to make things clear.
"I can't stay here. People are looking for me."
"Please…" the words choked out of him. It left me shocked. I parted from him, the cold air seeping through the hole between us. I felt cold again, without his touch. I ignored that too and got up. I reached the door and opened it, his presence right behind me. He slammed the door shut again and blocked me. "No Nico. What I did was horrible, and I know you might never want to see me again… but give it a chance… give me a chance. I want to make things right between us. And so I will not let you freeze your butt off out there and wander off lost again." he said, almost demanding. I reached for the knob but he swatted my hand away. "That is in order" he smirked. I sighed at him, clearly annoyed.
"I need to go Will" I sighed once more, trying to move him away from the door. "This isn't going to work…"
"I'm not giving up on you" he insisted. "I'm not ever."
The words coursed through me like electricity. He didn't just say that.. No, he did. The hell he really did. He didn't wait for a response. "Please. Go take a shower, eat something, i'm here to help you. Anything you need, I have it."
"Will-"
"Please Nico."
"I can't-"
"Yes you can"
"Fine!" I said, clearly frustrated and flustered. "I will go take a shower then."
"Good."
"Shut up."
I stormed in the bathroom and shut the door with a hard slam. I swear, Will Solace will be the death of me one day.
I tore my shirt off with one swipe and stopped before I went in the shower. Glancing at my body, I looked in the mirror, terrified.
Bruises. So many of them scattered my body. My chest, my lower neck, my stomach, everywhere. Spilled with colors, purple, yellow, even blue. I touched one with my index finger, immediately the pain surged. I groaned and my hands started shaking. A knock came to the door and I yelped.
"Hey are you ok in there?" Will's worried voice spoke.
"Fine" I croaked. I heard his footsteps fade down the hall and that was the end of it.
(line break)
The hot water from the shower soothed my tense muscles. I can't think. I can't think of him.
Reminders flown back in my mind. My dad, Mrs. Wick's, the guard, and how much trouble i'm in right now. I can't stay here, I really can't. I will put Will and his family into trouble. Somehow he convinced me to stay. He convinced me by touching me… by acting like he cares when really I know he doesn't. He is my weakness.
And I don't know how long he will be.
Finally after I just stood in the shower, the warm water started to fade out. I shut it down and grabbed a towel to dry out my hair until it was damp. I looked at my beaten up clothes and smacked my forehead. God I am so stupid.
I paced the bathroom, looking for any other sign of clothes. No luck. There is no way in hell I will…
Without a second thought, I took a long breath and yelled "Will!"
Someone knocked on the door and tried to open it but failed. "Are you ok in there Nico?"
"I…" I sighed. Just fucking say it already goddamnit. "I need some clothes" I bit my tongue and squeezed my eyes shut. There was a long pause…
"Okay"
I breathed out relief. He came back and knocked on the door once more. "Okay um… I'm in a towel so you're good" I said and unlocked the door. I heard him laugh on the other side of the door when I unlocked it. He had a red sweatshirt and black sweats in his hands, and it looks like he was trying to look at me in the face. Like he was forcing himself too… He bit his whole lower lip and trailed my body. He swallowed and looked up at me again. "The… your...br…?" he looked at my chest again. A pang of guilt ran through me. I completely forgot about my bruises.
"I… can explain…"
"Please do" he breathed. After another look at my chest he looked at me from his trance and shoved the clothes in my hands and quickly walked off. A smile played my lips as I shut the door and got changed.
I walked out of the bathroom, still trying to dry my hair out with the towel and tugging the sweatshirt so it doesn't completely drown me. I am a few inches shorter than him and yet he carries around XXXL sweatshirts that are so unnecessary. Besides he is more built then me… not that I pay attention or anything… whatever.
I entered his room and found him sprawled out of the bed. I stopped and stared. He was reading something I couldn't make out… but that wasn't what I was actually paying attention to. It was him. He was shirtless, with circle rimmed glasses and a curious look on his face. I would have laughed at his reading glasses if my jaw wasn't hung down. He was… hot. He stared at the pages thoughtfully, his blue eyes moving ever so slightly and his lips parted and moving quickly, as if reading the words off the book. I would have stared at him forever if he doesn't look up.
But to my luck… he did.
And it got worse.
He saw me staring.
Fuck.
He cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Fits pretty well huh?"
"W...what?"
"The sweatshirt" he said slowly, giving me a confused face while at it. I felt my face burn up and I looked away from him, nodding my head. I faced the wall now, not daring to look at the beatiful boy who sat just in back of me. I tried to steady my breathing, but when I started getting under control, my breathing always got sharp when he came into my mind. Why do I feel this way towards him? It's just Will. Just… Will…
"Hello? Nico?"
I spun around and he was standing across from me, his expression lost and his glasses now off. I tried to focus on his eyes, only his eyes, but they always slipped down to his bare chest. I shook my head and sighed. Rolling up the sleeves of the sweatshirt, I turned the fan on. "It's not even cold-" he started, but I shushed him and took the coffee from the windowsill and gulped it down. I don't know why I was acting this way, all fidgety and hot. I fanned out my face with my hands, my back facing him and everything else. "Can you please…" I said quietly. "Can you please just put a shirt on."
"Oh."
I didn't realize my hands were shaking until he took them. "Is it bothering you?" he added. No not at all Will, with your gorgeous body I can't stop fucking looking at and trying to concentrate on anything else except for you. I wanted to say no, to say that he could do whatever he wanted to, but I nodded and stood there like an idiot watching him look through his closet and put a shirt on.
"Thank you" I said as he returned back to me, my whole body felt numb after that. He gestured me to sit with him on his bed, and I did. I practically fell on the floor and crawled to the bed. He didn't respond to that, and only sat with his legs crossed next to me and sighed.
"I'm guessing you want to know the truth…"
I nodded.
"Tell me everything Solace."
(line break)
"It started before my dad lost his job… there company was going out of stock and so they couldn't pay any of their employees. So they had to quit. Anyways, before that even happened my parents were getting in a lot of fights… my mom's mother is going through a tough time and there deciding if they should put her down… so my mom was upset and wanted to pay the extra money to care for her just until she passes. But my dad didn't like the idea of them paying more money for her mother." he said, almost bitterly. I stayed quiet and waited for him to go on.
"So when my father lost his job, he gave up. He gave up on taking care of us… of taking care of my mother… so he left." he looked on the verge of tears, his hands clutching the bed sheets until his knuckles turned white. "My mother didn't have a job, she had to care for me and my brother. So it was a hassle getting a job for her. We moved down here, where we could afford renting this place. She is never home now, and she said it's up to me to care for my brother. The whole thing was just terrible for me and Jack." his voice quivered, and I realized that tears were falling down his cheeks. "I… I thought I was strong enough… to care for both my mother and brother… but I can't. I can't do it. I started losing it. Blamed stuff on Jack… on my mother…" his voice got deeper and he made a weird noise at the back of his throat. "I started thinking of moving in with my dad… down in Florida. But my mom insisted on me staying with her. She looked like she was in so much pain…" tears fell down faster now. I moved closer to him and pulled him into a hug. He clutched onto me tightly and sobbed into my shoulder. "And I… I stayed" he mumbled in my chest. "I wanted to be there for her… for him…" he was choking back sobs.
"Shh.. its ok Will… your ok" I soothed him, rubbing his back in small circles.
"Please… I need you Nico… please just stay." he whispered.
"I… I think you need to get some rest Will. Sleep it off." before he could protest, I carried him into his bed and under his covers. He sniffed one last time, snuggling in his covers to keep warm. I watched him slowly fall asleep, his shoulders relaxing and his breathing deepened. I shut off his lamp and got up, making room to sleep on the couch. He mumbled something I couldn't hear.
"Nico…"
I stopped. "Yeah Will?"
"I'm cold."
I laughed quietly. In the shadows, his cheeks went up, like he was smiling too. "What can I do Will? You don't have anymore blankets."
"Can… can you um" he started and I froze. "Can you maybe… sleep.. Somewhere else tonight?"
I opened my mouth but closed it. Without another thought, I got in the covers with him and tried to stay away from him as much as possible. He didn't like that. I was on the corners edge, about to fall off, when arms flung me around and moved me closer to a warm body. "I would still be cold if you were that far Neeks" he smirked. It felt like my face was on fire.
I know what I was doing was probably bad, but I soon started to not care. He snuggled closer and closer to me, we were only inches apart. The warmth of his body radiated on me, his breath on my neck and his arm around me.
"Thank you" he mumbled.
"For what?" I whispered back.
"For staying" and just like that, I felt his whole body relax and I realized he just fell asleep.
Gosh I want him.
I want Will Solace so badly.
Will's POV
The sun on my face woke me from my deep sleep. I stretched and yawned looking around my now lit up room. I was still really tired from staying up that late and talking with Nico… I smiled just thinking about it.
I looked beside me and immediately all the tiredness drained out of me. It was empty. My bed was empty. I flung out of bed, ignoring my buckled knees and ran outside. No sign of him. I kept running in different directions, my bare feet starting to grow hot under the burning concrete.
Then I saw him. He was walking towards the freeway, his face down and his dark eyes looked tired, like he didn't get any sleep. Anger boiled in me. I ran up from behind him and swung his whole body over. He blinked, and opened his mouth to speak, but I was faster.
"What the fuck do you think your doing Nico!" I yelled, my nails now digging in my palms.
"Will-"
"Shut up! I told you to stay! Why are you out here! I told you to stay Nico!" I screamed even more, my face boiling up. He looked at me stunned. "I couldn't stay Will. I couldn't bear seeing you like that.."
"Like what?!" I snarled.
"I can't see you cry. It's too hard to look at." he said, almost calmly, and looked away from me.
"That's not good enough Nico! Why didn't you stay!" I yelled, my hands flipping my hair constantly. "I told you. I wanted you to stay…" I said, my breathing slowing down. He scowled at me. "And why is that Will? So you can pretend that you actually care about me! To make me feel!? To make me have something towards you that I know you would never feel the same about me? I'm not going to let you do this to me." his voice was raspy. I didn't know what he was talking about. "You make it seem so easy. You get everyone Will!"
"That has nothing to do with it."
"Yes Will! Because I knew I could never have you! I knew your little Percy would take you away from me. And i'm scared that he would."
"What are you even talking about?" I yelled back.
"Its you Will! It's always been you. You are my weakness. You make me feel like this. So just stop!" he panted, like he was out of breath. I didn't take time to think about what I was going to say.
"Stop what?"
"Doing that!" his face was weary.
"Doing what?"
"Making me fall for you even more!" he exclaimed. I was about to say something, but I forgot. I repeated what he said in my mind. Making me fall for you even more…
"Nico-"
"No. I'm done." he started walking away. I froze where I was. Don't leave.
I ran to catch up with him, but stopped. He wants to be alone…
"I don't care" I whispered out loud. I started to walk up to him. I took his hand but he waved me away. I wanted to say so many things. I wanted to tell him how I feel. I wanted to show him. I wanted to touch him.
I wanted to kiss him.
I turned him around, but before he could swat me away, I pressed my lips to his.
SOOOOO how was it?! I was feeling good and decided to end it with that. Tell me how you liked it :D
