Chapter 4: Gary and Larry – The Musical
A/N: Even though Finnick's past after Nick left was brought up in "My Turn to Drive" as being fairly miserable and no mention of Duke, I couldn't help but team him up with Duke Weaselton as buddies. There's about ten months between the two stories, so anything could have happened to break the friendship up and I may do that near the end of the story, but for now, Duke fits with Finn's slightly crooked style perfectly. My own canon be damned.
December 23rd, 4:10pm
Nick and Judy were just about done with their meal at a local cafe. As Nick looked at his future partner, he could tell she was deep in thought a look of sadness swept across her face.
"Carrots, if you're still worried, we can back out of this."
"It's not that." She replied. "I was thinking about work...about how you and Finn becoming more distant is similar to me and my family."
"How so?" Nick asked.
"Most of my family members have always stayed in Bunnyburrow and helped with the family farm in some capacity. I was the first one to branch out on my own and leave home for Zootopia and become a cop. Now, for the first time, I'm not going to be home for Kitsmas. I have to work that morning. I tried to get out of it, but too many members of the force are in hibernation. I've...SNIFF!...I've never missed my family more than I do right now!"
"Will you be able to see them soon?"
"Next weekend, but it won't be the same. I won't be there to see the little kits unwrap their presents, to sing along with uncle Jeremy on the piano, to do sign language with Jimmy, my deaf little brother and to warm up by the fire place." She let out a deep sigh.
"What about Kitsmas night? Can't you take the train?"
"The train is currently out of service due to heavy snow causing too much blockage on the tracks and it would take forever in this weather to see them by bus."
"Well, if you're not doing anything Kitsmas night, wanna have dinner with me? I'm not doing anything."
Judy's ears perked straight up. "Dinner? Like...on a date?"
"Kinda. Well, not exactly. I mean, we're eating together right now and it's not a date. Just dinner with a friend."
Judy was a little disappointed, but still happy. "Oh!...Okay. Sure! If you'll excuse me for a moment, I need to use the restroom."
"Sure thing fluff!" As she left, he got on his phone and made some preparations. "Carrots, Kitsmas night may just be a night you never forget."
Meanwhile...
Duke lead Finnick up to his brownstone apartment.
"Here we are! Home sweet home! Let me introduce ya to the kids. They should be home from school by now."
Duke opened the door. The place was a bit messy and smelled terribly, but otherwise your typical city dwelling. "Hey kids! Yer uncle Duke is home and I got some company!"
Just then, about a half dozen rats scurried out into the living room which scared the heck out of Finnick.
"Woah! Duke! You got an infestation here!"
"An infestation of adorableness!" Duke replied. "These are my kids! C'mere ya little rug rats!"
They ran up to him and he hugged them all individually. "Ahhh it's good ta see you! You all startin' Christmas vacation?"
"Yes unca' Duke!" Said the littlest one.
"It's gonna be 'daddy' pretty soon. Heh-heh! Kids, this is my new friend, Finnick. Give him a big hug would ya?!"
The littlest ones all ran over to Finnick and hugged him. He was a little creeped out at first, but he loved the attention.
"I've never met an adult as small as me!" Said Ricky, the 8 year-old rat. "You're cool!"
This pleased Finnick quite a bit. For the first time in a long time, he felt welcomed and loved.
"Thanks kid! I never thought rats could be so...cute!" He turned his attention to Duke. "So I take it your fiance's a rat too?"
"Only da most bee-utiful rat I ever done seen! Check out 'dis picture of her we took!" Duke then showed Finnick a picture of him and his loved one in their winter garbs. Finnick was taken back on how attractive she looked.
"She's gorgeous! Y'know, meeting these kids and seeing your fiance', it really changes my perspective on rats in general."
"Yeah. They get a bum rap just like us weasels and foxes! People judge us before they get to know us, y'know?"
"Only too well bro."
Just then, there was a pounding on the door. "HEY LOSERTON! OPEN UP!"
Duke jumped up in fear. "Oh no! It's the ex!" Duke walked up to the door, but didn't open it up. "W-W-Whaddya want Muroid?!"
"Let me see my kids! I got custody rights y'know?!"
"You lost those rights in court when ya refused to pay child support! Rosetta don't want ya around anymore so get lost!"
"GRRRR Fine! But this won't be the last you heard of me!"
Duke waited for a moment and then peeked his head out the door to see if he had left.
He didn't.
Muroid shoved the door open knocking Duke and one of the kids over. "Told ya it wouldn't be the last. You think you can just come in here and take over my life?!"
The kids were scared. "Daddy! You hurt uncle Duke and Billy!"
"Shut up you little brat!" Yelled the large rat.
Finnick had enough. "This is my friends house now, not yours. You get the hell out!"
"Or else wh-" The rat didn't get a chance to answer. Finnick speared him to the ground and wailed on him. "I kicked butt on mammals WAY bigger than you, punk!"
The kids were impressed. "Wow! Mr. Finnick can fight good!"
"He's way tougher than uncle Duke!" Said another. Finnick heard this and saw Duke getting up with a depressed look on his face. He knew he was letting the kids down. Finnick realized what he needed to do. He hesitated on purpose to let Muroid get the upper hand.
The large rat kicked him off and then proceeded to bash Finnick's skull into a cabinet nearby and smash him into a portrait.
Duke had enough. He finally got the courage to fight the large rat "You leave by best friend alone!" He tackled Muroid and punched back. Muroid followed up with bite on the arm. Duke bit back on his ear. He finally managed to wrestle Muroid down and grappled him from behind. He stood Murpoid up and the rat couldn't get out of Duke's grasp. Duke may have been the weaker of the two, but he was still almost twice the rat's size. He propped him up for Finnick. "Finish him pal!"
Finnick wiped the small amount of blood off his face. He went over and gave several hard punches to Muroid's belly and a good one to his face. Duke then took the large rat and threw him out the door.
Duke was mad. "You better leave and never come back, y'hear?! I ain't afraid of you no more!" He slammed the door on the rat."
Muroid was furious, but in pain. "This ain't the last you heard of...OW! My ribs! I'm outta here!"
The kids all cheered. Steve, the oldest rat at twelve, gave his future dad a high-five. "That was so cool uncle Duke! You were awesome too Finnick!"
"Thanks kid." Finnick said with a smile. He then looked over at Weaselton. "You okay bud?"
"I'll need a bandage on my arm, but otherwise, I'm okay. I just hope Muroid's had all of his shots."
"Did...Did you really mean it when you called me your best friend?"
"I ain't got no other friends, so sure!"
Finnick smiled. "Thanks man! I'm beat. Literally. Mind if I crash on your couch?"
""I insist! There's a seat cushion you can use as a pillow. I'm outta blankets right now though, They're in the wash."
"I should be fine. I sleep in a cold van" Finnick said. He laid on the couch. He sank into it and almost fell asleep then and there. He looked over at Duke playing with the little rats. He was on all fours and letting them ride on his back. They were laughing and he could tell he was enjoying it too. He was envious of his new friend.
"Duke?"
"Yeah?" The weasel replied.
"You got a great family here."
"Thanks pal." The weasel said with a smile.
5:45pm
Nick was walking Judy back to her place. They weren't arm and arm but they did walk closely enough to get a few stares. They arrived at the foot of her building.
Nick put his paws in his pockets. "Welp! This is your stop. See ya later fluff!"
"Where are you gonna go to rest?" Judy asked.
"I dunno. Don't have a place of my own yet. Barracks are too far. There are a few places that charge by the hour in the more seedy areas."
"Ewww! Do you really wanna sleep on one of those beds?"
"Good point. Got any other suggestions Carrots?"
Judy turned a little bashful. "Well...you could sleep at my place for a short while."
Nick acted mockingly startled. "Why miss Hopps! I do declare!"
"On the floor of course! It's not like there'd be any hanky-panky!"
"Well...not from me anyway." Nick said with a wink.
"Knock it off! Do you want to sleep over or not?"
"Beats walking a few miles to find a place and it's only for a few hours. Sure, what the heck?"
They both walked into the building and up two flights of stairs to Judy's room.
"Now try to stay real quiet. My neighbors are real loud and REAL nosey. They got great hearing for antelopes. They can hear me whisper."
"Lovely." Nick said. "Got an extra pillow fluff?"
"Sure. But with your fur so thick right now, I'd doubt you'd need one."
Suddenly, they heard a voice from the other side of the wall. "WHOO! SOUNDS LIKE OUR LITTLE RABBIT'S GOT HERSELF A BOYFRIEND OVER!"
"WHY DON'T YOU MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS?!" Said the other voice.
"WHY DON'T YOU MAKE ME?!"
"WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP!"
"YOU SHUT UP!"
The antelopes yelled back and fourth at each other. Nick was dumbfounded. "Your nosey, noisy neighbors I presume?"
Judy ears drooped in frustration. "You'd presume correct. Bucky and Pronk Pootosser."
Nick couldn't help but snicker. "Pootosser?!"
"WATCH IT FOX! WE COME FROM A LONG LINE OF POOTOSSERS!"
"BETTER A POOTOSSER THAN A POO EATER CANINE!"
This infuriated Nick. "Why don't you come over here and say that to my face?!"
Judy tried to calm Nick down. "Never mind them. They're like this all the time. Just lie down and go to sleep."
"Alright then." Nick grumbled. He took off his shirt. Which took Judy by surprise.
"Nick!"
"What? It's just my shirt carrots. No need to get hot and bothered. Don't want my shirt to get wrinkled"
"Well...just make sure no other clothing comes off."
Nick laughed. "With all this fluff? I doubt you could see anything anyway. I can't wait to get rid of this winter coat. I look as fat as Clawhauser."
Judy gave some orders to Nick. "Well, I can't sleep in my clothes, so lie down facing away from me and STAY facing away!"
"Yes ma'am!" Nick replied and did as she asked. However, he could still see her in the reflection of the microwave as she undressed and got a good look at her backside while in her undies.
"Thank the lord for reflective surfaces!" He thought to himself.
Judy got under her covers and set the alarm. "3:30am good?"
"Perfect. " Nick replied. "Goodnight Carrots."
"G'night Nick." Then, there was silence. Briefly
…...
…...
…...
….."HEY FOX! BETTER WARN YA! SHE FARTS IN HER SLEEP!"
Judy was furious. "You shut the hell up Bucky!"
Nick chuckled. "I'm saving that one for later."
December 24th, 3:45am At the Khan Warehouse
"Gary looked outside the windows of the warehouse. A calm flurry of snow powdered the city. A little TOO calm."
"Gary, you're letting your inner monologue out again." Said Larry, a gray timberwolf who was another security guard at the warehouse and a childhood friend of the white wolf, Gary.
"He looked over the security cameras. Everything was going smoothly...A little TOO smoothly!"
"...Gary?...Gary!"
"A little TOO Gary!"
Larry gave his friend a little slap on the head. "Will you knock it off?!"
"Sorry, Gary. I just don't want to mess this job up. We've been through four other security jobs since that incident at the Cliffside Asylum."
"That's the asylum that was up on the side of the cliff, right?"
"OF COURSE that's the one Larry! Why else would they call it the Cliffside Asylum?!"
"Sorry Gary! Didn't mean to upset you, but I got a little Kitsmas present that may cheer you up!"
Gary's ears perked up. "Oooh! What is it? Is it a chew bone? Tell me it's a chew bone!"
Larry held up a spring of berries. "I got missletooooe!" He pursed his lips in a kissing manner.
Gary looked disgusted. "Larry, for the 500th time, I'm flattered but I'm straight! You know that!"
Larry's ears drooped "Aww c'mon! It's a Kitsmas tradition!"
"No."
"C'mon Gary! It's what the internet fan base wants! I mean have you SEEN the fan art of us?!"
"Yes, because you keep posting it on the office fridge! Knock it off! People are talking!"
Larry's ears drooped in depression. Gary patted him on the back. "Look Larry, I'm flattered. Really. And you know I'l always be your best friend. We've been that way since elementary school. But I'll be your PLATONIC best friend. Nothing more. Can you just be okay with that?"
Larry looked at his best bud. "I think I can Gary, but I'll tell you how...in song!"
"No Larry. PLEASE NO! This is a fan fiction! A musical number doesn't work in literature!"
"Gary you're my closest pal...My furry, funny friend!"
"Where is this music coming from?"
"I hired a gerbil band. They're up on the high shelves."
"GOD! You're weird!"
"Lemme finish my song!"
"No!"
"I love more than any guy or gal. I'll be there to the end."
"Why me?!"
"We keep going from job to job and I guess that's okaaay!"
"As long as we're together, though you're straight and...I'm...Gaaaaaay!"
Larry started to dance around.
"Beee-cauuuse we're...Gary and Larry security guards!"
"One is a dullard, the other's quite odd!"
"Speak for yourself."
"But to-ge-ther, we just can't be beat!"
"We'll kick your butt and put you out on the street!"
"Because we're Gary and Larry...Two peas in a pod!"
"If you don't stop singing Larry, I'll kill you! I swear ta God!"
"You rhymed!"
"GAAAHHH!"
"And when you're feeling down in the dumps.."
"I'll be there pal, to take your lumps!"
"Because we're Gary and Larry.."
"Our heads fulla rocks!"
"One sucks at his job, the other sucks...on lollipops!"
"I thought we were gonna lose our T rating for a moment."
"We're just two wacky, young timberwolves..."
"Who work for a paycheck and not for the lolz."
Larry went over and grabbed some items. "Okay Gary! It's time for the big finale! Here, put on this top hat and cane."
"No! I ain't doin' it! I'm not taking part in your silly song!"
Larry got on his knees and begged. "PLEASE Gary! I worked so hard on this number! Finding the gerbil band was hard enough, but finding a store with top hats for wolves was dang near impossible!"
"I don't care! I'll look silly doing this!"
Larry whined and looked up as his friend with tears forming in his eyes. Gary finally caved in.
"Awww! I can't say no to those sad, puppy dog eyes! Gimme that stupid top hat and cane!"
"YES! Here ya go pal!" He handed Gary the items.
"...Why is their glitter on the top hat?"
"A top hat can't sparkle without glitter Larry!" Gary said angrily. Larry just rolled his eyes.
"Of course. How silly of me. By the way, how am I supposed to know the lyrics?"
"It's a musical number in a story Larry, you'll do it automatically. Make sure to do some kicks followed by a little soft shoe. Just follow my lead. Now hit the spotlights gerbils! 5...6...7...8!"
"Beeee-cauuuse we're...Gary...and Larry..."
"Through thick and through thin.."
"If we stay determined, we just might win..."
"So to all you thieves, we'll knock you out hard.."
"Because we're Gary and Larry..."
"Security Guaaaarrrds!"
"YES! Shouted Gary. "That was great!"
"Because we're Gary...and Larry.."
"Song's over Larry."
"Awww! I was just starting to get into it!"
Suddenly, a voice came over the intercom. "Would the two wolves in section 28 please stop doing a musical number and get back to monitoring the warehouse...OR YOU'RE FIRED!"
"Sorry boss!" Said the two wolves.
