The Mass Effect universe and its characters belong to Bioware, though Kaylin is my take on Shepard.

"Nothing Compares to You" by Aziatix

Verse Ia
Baby
Wait a minute
Took one look
Not known
Nothing in this world compares to you oh
A moment then a second
Is all I need for us to fall in love
If we can just fall in love

Rap I
Let me tell you no one can compete
This universe doesn't deserve to be up in your league
And no one truly knows what beautiful really means
When it's more than a miracle just seeing you in my dreams
We both know the you don't need to boast
No need to stand out
The kind that knows when to keep it low key
C'mon

Verse IIa
Something I gotta let you know
Baby you're just so beautiful

Chorus I
So amazing
So amazing yeah you are
What I've been looking for
Never seen a star so bright like this before
And I've been searching baby
Trust in me when I say that from here on out till always
Girl in this world there's nothing
I just wanna glimpse of your lovin' tonight
Oh oh
Nothing compares to you
Oh oh
Nothing compares to you
Oh oh
Nothing compares to you
Oh oh hmm
Nothing compares to you

Verse Ib
Baby know I mean it
When I say you and me there's
Something special here that feels so right
I can't deny that you're mine
Lady, the one and only
That makes me wish I now was so in love
If we can just fall in love

Rap II
Nothing compares to my baby
Truth about it maybe
Smile with style so wild it makes me crazy
If I don't feel you daily
Is all that it make me
Put my life on the line if that's where it takes me
Son who's the star girl
You're the brightest, fliest
Heaven looks up where the sky is

verse IIb
Something I gotta let you know
Baby you're just so beautiful

Chorus II

Bridge
Affections can't compare from your feet to your hair
From the way your stare baby girl there's nothing
Nothing nothing nothing oh
I sit back here and think for the rest of my years
But it oh so clear that there is nothing
Nothing nothing nothing
Nothing compares to u

Chorus III


Waking up from a dream he really shouldn't be having while in the commander's room, James glances at said commander to ensure she's still sleeping and then stands to try and adjust the incredibly tight fit his fatigues seem to have decided on. Get it together, Vega. You really want her to wake up and see the hard-on you got from imagining her spread... STOP IT! Not helping. Focus on some disgusting shit: Garrus naked, climbing out of the belly of a thresher maw, a krogan and a salarian getting it on... His thoughts are distracted by movement in the bed and mumbling. Worried that she's having a nightmare and wondering if he should wake her if she is, James moves towards her. She looks so... he can't even find the words to describe the peaceful image of her sleeping. Every now and then she's letting out these small sighs that make his pants feel that much smaller and the hand he can see is rubbing at her chest. Unable to look away, he works to memorize her face like it is right now: relaxed, mouth just slightly open, head tilted slightly back... Wait... did she just moan? And then she gives this sexy whimper and murmurs, "Oh James..." her body arching just a bit and he has to turn around and head for the bathroom, unable to watch anymore for fear he'll lose control and given into the urge to make her apparent dreams a reality.

Bent over the sink, he splashes cold water on his face and then stares at himself in the mirror. Doesn't matter that she's moaning your name. Doesn't matter how much you want to make love to her and hear her scream your name. She's off limits... at least for now. The major fucked her up by not trusting her. There's no way she's ready for another relationship yet and you know you wouldn't want to just fuck her and run. The only reason she's saying your name is because you're the only human guy on her team... Esteban doesn't count since he's into dudes... and you treat her right. She's lonely and went to bed drunk, so it makes sense that if she's gonna have sex with someone in her dreams it would be the guy she just spent months with all day every day. Don't take it as an invite to jump her bones.

He may have convinced his head, but his body is not catching on and he feels like he's got the worst case of blue balls ever. Peeking out to make sure she's still asleep, James decides he should be safe enough taking a quick shower to relieve some stress. He closes the door and strips, turning the water on hot. Never could stand a cold shower. He finds a bottle of soap and sniffs; the scent of cinnamon and apples assails him and he inhales again. Yeah, she smells like mom's apple pie, so hot and delicious you want to eat it all up... Pouring a generous handful, he begins to stroke himself, covering himself in her scent, pretending it's her hand bringing him pleasure. He loses himself to the moment.


Shepard slowly drifts out of the haze of one of the best dreams she's had in ages; she runs her hands over herself then stretches languorously, relishing how relaxed she feels. Then her brain catches up with the fact that James was staying the night on the couch and she bolts upright, afraid he may have noticed her behavior. She looks around, realizing he's nowhere in sight. Thank God! Briefly she's upset that he left when he promised to watch over her (at least I think he did; not allowed to drink like that again without eating first) but the sound of running water reaches her and she's grateful, believing he must have missed any inappropriate acts on her part. He's earned a chance at a shower in private for putting up with me last night. She smiles and then her thoughts drift to images of him in the shower and she gives a frustrated groan. Stop acting like some hormonal teenager! It's beginning to look like you have a fetish for dating subordinates. Plus, James deserves better than you using him for some stress release. She glances at the bathroom door again. …though if he has half as much stamina in bed as on the field…

Hands raking through her hair, she gets up and changes hurriedly to try and hide any evidence of her extreme enjoyment of last night's dreamtime adventures. Just in time as the water shuts off. She takes a swig from the glass of water he brought up with the eggs and tries to look relaxed as he comes out of the bathroom.

James steps out to make sure she's still ok, toweling off his upper body, sure that she's still asleep. Except, there she is, eyes widening a bit as she stares at his chest, checking out his tats. "Uh, hey Lola. Woke up feeling kinda grungy, so I hoped you wouldn't mind me freshening up a bit so I didn't knock you over with my funk. Sorry if I disturbed you."

Hard pressed not to go lick the water droplets off his skin if only to wet her very dry mouth, Kaylin smiles. "No problem, James. After having to babysit me, you're entitled to a bit of private time." The smell of apples hits her from several feet away and she chuckles, "Though I think you went a little overboard with the soap; a little goes a long way. Half the crew's going to wonder how you fell in a vat of cider on ship."

The words "private time" make him wince and a blush starts spreading from the top of his head down. SHIT! Did she hear me? He stands frozen by the certainty she knows what he was doing in the shower.

The steady expansion of his flushing catches Kaylin's eye and she can't help but let her gaze follow the path as it goes down his chest (I thought only fair skinned girls like me blushed this bad) and over his rock hard abs then... Shepard, can you make it any more obvious that you're checking him out. Apologize for being an idiot last night and get him the hell out of here before you do something colossally stupid.

Forcing her eyes up to a point just over his shoulder, Shepard folds her hands behind her back at parade rest to keep herself from fidgeting and clears her throat. "Look, LT. I want to say I'm sorry for the way I acted yesterday. If you want to file charges for harassment I'll understand and put you in touch with someone up the chain."

"Huh?" He stares dumbfounded, wondering what the hell language she's speaking because he has no earthly clue what she could be talking about. "Ma'am?"

Sighs, "Last night when I was drunk and I told you that I had inappropriate thoughts about kissing you and then compounded problems by clinging to you like some love-struck teenager? If you want to press charges for sexual harassment or request a transfer…"

Her words finally sink in and he jogs down the stairs, interrupting her, "HELL NO! You are not getting rid of me that easily, Commander. No transfer and you'd have more grounds for charges against me than I do for you. You were drunk, lost several friends, and the major left you, so I think we can just chalk it up to you being a bit off your game and move on."

Relief floods her face before she schools it back to her usual calm demeanor. "Thanks, James."

"Sure, Lola. I should probably be heading out. You probably want to hit the shower and get ready for the day." He heads for the exit, needing some space to get himself back under control.

"James." He turns back and she waves at his bare chest with a smirk, causing him to look down, "You might want to finish dressing or the crew will get the wrong idea."

Grinning sheepishly as he rubs the back of his neck, he ducks into the head to grab his shirt and shrug it on. "I'll, uh, see you later, Shepard."

"Later, Vega."


After a long, thorough shower, Shepard makes her way to the cockpit to make sure Joker's got them underway for Mesana.

"Great party last night, Commander. Who knew you could sing like that!" Trying to look innocent and failing miserably, Joker looks up at her, "Sooooo, rumor has it the lieutenant was seen hauling food up to your quarters last night and then he never made it to his rack."

Expression hard enough the carve diamonds, she looks him square in the face, "The gossip chain better soon be talking about the fact that the commander's bodyguard decided she over-indulged last night after a bad week and took it upon himself to stand watch in case she got sick and needed help."

Hands raised to ward off the death glare, Joker chuckles nervously, "I'm sure that's what they'll be saying when they aren't raving about how awesome the commander is for all the free booze."

She rubs her forehead and relents, "All right, Joker. Enough sucking up. Let me know when we hit system."

"Sure thing, Commander."

Next stop, mess hall. Noticing more than a few people looking like they wished the lights were dimmer, she muses If Cerberus managed to do one thing right, whatever they did to make me heal faster is definitely worthy of praise this morning. I should have the hangover from hell but instead I barely have a headache. Those phenomenal eggs James made me eat probably helped, too.

Small head shake. I think I better start taking other people out for the next few missions. Get some distance, some perspective. NOT fall into the same trap as I did with Kaidan. James and I spent so much time together when I was locked away that it's natural I'd form an affection for him. He's the only thing that kept me sane when they took away my ship, my crew, my rank. He's the only one I had to talk to besides Anderson; Joker dropped in a few times, but otherwise there were no visitors, not even Kaidan, though he could have come if he wanted.

Another head shake. Stop thinking about Kaidan! He's gone and you need to move past him. And NOT with James, even if he is an amazing soldier, fun to talk to, and has a body that could rock your world… Down girl. Galaxy to save, remember? No time for being human. Focus on keeping your people alive and not on starting something you probably won't live to finish.

Perusing the breakfast options, she decides to fill a plate with cinnamon French toast smothered in syrup and topped with bananas along with a second plate of fruit. Besides, who says James would even be interested? You're a stick with muscles, not much in the way of a girlish figure; he probably likes an hour-glass, not a scarecrow. Plus, what have you got to offer in the way of a future? You said it before: everyone you get close to drops dead while you manage to cheat the reaper; you don't want that happening to James. He's special… Realization smacks her upside the head as it dawns on her that that hulking marine somehow managed to sneak his way into her heart. The headache goes from manageable to someone driving icepicks through her skull; she starts to massage her temples. Keep him at arms-length. He deserves better than the broken husk you've become.

Food tasting like ashes in her mouth, she begins the painful task of resurrecting the wall around her heart.


"Frozen" by Within Temptation

I can't feel my senses
I just feel the cold
All colors seem to fade away
I can't reach my soul
I would stop running, if I knew there was a chance
It tears me apart to sacrifice it all but I'm forced to let go

Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?
Can't tell the reasons I did it for you
When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you
You say that I'm frozen but what can I do?

I can feel your sorrow
You won't forgive me,
but I know you'll be all right
It tears me apart that you will never know but I have to let go

Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?
Can't tell the reasons I did it for you
When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you
You say that I'm frozen but what can I do?

Everything will slip away
Shattered pieces will remain
When memories fade into emptiness
Only time will tell its tale
If it all has been in vain

I can't feel my senses
I just feel the cold
Frozen...
But what can I do?
Frozen...

Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?
Can't tell the reasons I did it for you
When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you
You say that I'm frozen, frozen...


Author's Note: The second part of this story just didn't want to come out. Hope it turned out ok