It took more time for me to updatebut here it is. Hope you guys like it! *
csi are not mine
"You're very quiet." Catherine is looking at me with a benign expression, but there is no pity in her eyes. I knew there wouldn't be. There is just, what I guess can be described as, subtle admiration. "What are you thinking?"
"How good I feel," I say smiling. Catherine raises her eyebrow in expectation of me elaborating. "It's been a long time since I've spoken about the events of my childhood and felt so at peace with it." Catherine now returns my smile. "And you are still here too."
She raises her eyebrows in surprise. "I don't have any reason not to be." She looks down at her coffee and swirls it before speaking again. "You are the same Sara to me that you were four hours ago. Your horrific experiences don't change who you are. People have bad things happen to them but that doesn't then make them bad people. All the things you've been through and you still turn into work day after day after day ready to help the next victim. Sara, you're an incredible woman, the most trustworthy person I know and a damn good CSI and I..." she clears her throat "...I am so proud to be able to call you my friend."
I gulp. How am I supposed to respond to that? My eyes are watering again. It's impossible to keep the tears at bay after that little speech. Eventually I find my tongue. "Thanks Cat…" I pause setting my voice to accurately convey the depth of my feeling. "You've no idea how much it means to hear that from you."
"I'm just being honest," she says squeezing my hand tightly. I can see it again in her eyes, it's there. Something shining deep in the vibrant blue depths, and I realize, it is love. Ok so maybe not romantic love, but a love none-the-less.
"So, are you planning on calling Lindsey today?"
"Yeah I… I need to… I..."
"I'm sure she will be happy to hear from you and to know you're ok." Even before I continue I know what her response will be to my next words. "If you're not ready to face her I can do it?"
"No, I really do want to speak to her, I miss her so much. Maybe I should surprise her by picking her up from school and taking her out to dinner. What do you think?"
"I think that sounds perfect, she will love to see you," I answer not really believing that she is unsure about going out with her daughter. If this is the real Catherine, not always so sure of herself and completely in touch with her emotions, I'll end up falling for her even more. "Are you going back home after that?" My question catches her off guard and her face grows serious again.
"I haven't thought about that. Do you need me to leave?"
"No! Of course not!" I say nearly shouting. I blush at my little almost-scene. "I was just thinking that maybe you would want to be in your own place, with your things and with Lindsey that was all. But I don't want you to leave, I like having you stay with me."
"I like being with you."
"So the answer is no?"
"If it's up to me, and it's ok with you, the answer is no," she smiles again and my heart feels really good. Of course sometime I know she will have to go home but selfishly, I don't want that to happen so soon. "Can I ask you a question Sara?"
"You mean another one besides that, right?" We both laugh and I gesture to the waitress for the bill.
"Do you still love Grissom?"
"No." I'm rather surprised at her question and my eyes widen indicating that.
"You don't?" she asks slightly taken aback by my immediate answer.
"I admire him, his mind and his work ethics, but I don't love him. I don't think I ever did" Catherine waits for me to go one and I do, wanting her to know everything "He's not the right person for me. I need someone who not only accepts me and challenges me but who can talk to me about anything, everything and nothing. More importantly, someone who makes me talk even when I don't really want to. I spend too much of my life in silence and I want to talk, I need to be able to talk, about my feelings especially."
"I understand and…" she bites the inside of her cheek, "…I'm kinda glad. I could see just how much his emotional distance hurt you. I know he is my best friend and all but… when it comes to women, he sucks!"
"Absolutely!" I agree, a smile playing on my lips.
"You know, you should smile more often, your whole face lights up and it's beautiful." I glance down, blushing. I never handle compliments well.
**
We head back to my place and spend the rest of the day chilling out, reading and listening to music. It's the most time I've had to chill out in ages. Catherine asks me to play my guitar again and I can't say no to her. I can't believe she actually likes it.
**
Her car is evidence in the case so Catherine uses mine to go and collect Lindsey, dropping me off at the lab first so I can catch up on some paperwork.
"You sure you don't want me to come with you?" I ask before I open the door.
"I'll be fine Sara."
"Call me and let me know how it goes, yeah?"
"Ok, but, why are you so concerned about this?"
"Because… well…" I realize I'm probably being a little overprotective but I care so much about her. "I just don't want you to be uncomfortable tonight." My words all rush out together.
"It's just dinner with my daughter Sara, it'll be fine," she says squeezing my thigh to reassure me. The heat generated from her touch almost burns me and when I look into her beautiful blue eyes I again feel the urge to kiss her. Catherine leans closer and kisses my cheek. "I can't keep my little girl waiting."
"Ok, I'm going. Say 'hi' to her for me."
I watch the car disappear out of sight before going into the lab. I don't know why I'm so concerned about her after all she's only going for dinner with her daughter.
I say hi to Judy at the front desk and head up to my office. Well it's not really my office but it has everything I need and is far enough away from the main labs to allow me to be undisturbed by most of the comings and goings. It's perfect. I discovered it three days after I started working here and since then everyone has learned that if I'm in here, then I definitely don't want to be disturbed. Not unless it's something really important.
I open the door and sigh deeply. If there is one thing in this job that I hate with a passion, it's paperwork and there are piles of it to do.
I sit for two hours buried to the neck in reports before I decide that I have to take a break otherwise I know I won't last until the end of the shift.
"You look like someone who needs a Grego-style coffee," Greg grins at me as I enter the break room.
"When don't I need a Grego-special?" I banter back. He pours me a cup of his prized brew and I collapse onto the sofa. "Thanks." I smile at him warmly. "So what are you doing in so early?"
"We are all here. We're trying to get all the evidence processed as fast as we can on Catherine's case. Did you hear what happened?" I nod but don't say anything. "It must have been awful. I really hope she's ok."
"Maybe you should call her?" Greg nods draining his coffee mug. "How's the investigation going?"
"Warrick and Grissom are on the car. Nick is processing her clothes and me..."
"DNA and fingerprints from the room?"
"Exactly!"
"Did Ecklie have anything to say about you guys working the case?"
"Of course he did, but Catherine was specific in her request for Grissom to handle this and so by default, his team"
"What do you mean?"
"After she went to the hospital she wrote a note asking for Grissom take care of the evidence. What I don't get it is why you aren't helping us, even though you are here?"
"I would have thought that was pretty obvious!" Warrick interjects from his position in the open doorway. By his tone of voice it's obvious he is tired and that he isn't coping very well with what's happened. "She clearly doesn't give a shit about Catherine or if we catch this bastard."
"Hey man, that's not true." Greg is quick to jump to my defense but Warrick pays no attention to him.
"Whether you like it or not Sara, Catherine is an important member of this team. She's one hell of a CSI, way better then you will ever be…" I see Greg moving from the corner of my eye and quickly reach out to grab his arm before he does something stupid.
"What that guy did was completely evil and it'd be nice if you could at least pretend to be a little concerned when Catherine comes back to work." I stare into his emotion-filled green eyes but don't trust myself to say anything so I keep my mouth shut. He turns round to walk away but stops in his tracks, looks over his shoulder narrowing his eyes. "Oh and Sara, I may have forgiven you for the times you investigated me but I won't forgive or forget that you've turned your back on Catherine when she needs us ALL the most."
I drop my head but manage to stay fairly calm. I understand his anger, I'd be mad if I thought one of the team didn't care too. As he disappears down the corridor I let go of Greg's arm.
"Why did you let him talk to you like that?" he asks me angrily.
"He wouldn't have listened to me Greg, no matter what I said to him."
"How do you know that?"
"He is too hurt about what's happened. He loves her Greg. It would be more surprising if he didn't snap, especially about me not working on the case. You probably would have done the same minutes ago if you didn't like me too much." I wink at the young lab tech.
"That doesn't mean he is right."
"And he isn't right, but Catherine knows the truth and that is enough for me."
"So you have seen her? Talked to her?"
"Yes." Before there is a chance to say anything else, Grissom appears in the doorway and asks to have a word with me. "I'd better go before someone else starts yelling at me." I whisper with a half-smile for Greg's benefit and follow Grissom to his office.
"Close the door, please." Grissom requests as he takes a seat behind his desk.
"Should I pack up my stuff and go or do I still have a job here?" I ask jokingly. He doesn't think it's amusing. I guess I didn't really think he would.
"I have to say I didn't expect you shouting at me over the phone and neither did I expect your attitude. You were put on call Sara which means if I call you or anyone from here calls you, you respond ASAP."
"I know, but…"
"You have a good reason and I understand, but this cannot happen again. You do not raise your voice like that again and you do not refuse to come in without telling me the truth, ok?"
"I won't, I promise." Grissom seems satisfied with his warning and my acceptance of it.
"Now, how is she doing?"
"We've talked a bit about what happened amongst other stuff and, well I think she is doing better than most people would be. She's an amazingly strong woman."
"Good. I'm glad she has someone to lean on through this."
"Thanks." I'm relieved he can see that the way I'm helping Catherine is as important as the boys processing the evidence and trying to catch the bastard. "Is there anything else?" When he shakes his head I stand up and leave. Well that little chat went better than I expected, thank God. Passing by one of the AV labs I notice Archie checking the surveillance tapes.
"Any luck?"
"Oh hey Sara," he greets me with a warm smile, "well, he did something to her in the car because carried her into the motel." He plays me the footage and my stomach lurches as I see Catherine being half-carried, half-dragged into a doorway.
"He hit her over the head with the butt of his gun."
"Well that explains it. But how did you…"
"Did the camera catch his face?"
"No and there's nothing reflective that I can see at first glance that would pick it up but I am working on it. I expect that the tape will have caught something. You can stay if you want"
"Actually I can't. Can you text me if you find anything?"
"Sure."
"Oh and Archie," he looks up at me, "don't mention to anyone that I asked will you? Please?" Feeling my cell vibrate in my pocket I thank him then answer it without checking the display. "Sidle…"
"I'd say we're on a first name basis now don't you think?" My heart melts at the sound of Catherine's voice and I can't help but smile. God, I miss her so much.
"By the sound of it dinner went well then?"
"It was lovely. Lindsey talked most of the time about school and her friends. She was so happy to see me that I couldn't begin to explain to her why she's staying at Nancy's."
"I understand. Are you at your sister's now?"
"I came to drop Lindsey off and she has used her girlish charms on me so I'm staying for the night. You have no idea how very persuasive she can be."
"Hmm… just like someone else I know."
"With one difference, I have even less patience than she has." I laugh gently. I can't tell her she's wrong because she's not. Patience is not her strong point. Catherine laughs along with me. "My sister is demanding that you come over for breakfast tomorrow."
"Tell her I appreciate the invitation, but I don't want to intrude."
"You won't be intruding Sara. She wants you to come and I'd really love it if you were here. Please say yes."
"Well if she's sure…"
"She's saying she won't take no for an answer. So I'll pick you up at the end of your shift ok?"
"Ok." My grin has appeared again out of nowhere. I can't believe how much this woman makes me smile. "See you soon."
I return to my lab and the mountain of paperwork which depressingly hasn't vanished during the time I was away. I get so engrossed that I don't even notice the time passing until I look up at the clock and see that it's ten minutes after the end of my shift. Things went much faster after having heard from Catherine but I do still miss her. I stop by Grissom's office to say goodbye, as I usually do, then head outside to stand on the front steps and wait for her.
"Hey gorgeous, wanna lift?" she drawls out of her open window as she pulls up to the curb.
I answer her with a big smile. She leans over and unlocks the door and I drop into the seat and strap the seatbelt over myself.
"So how was shift?" she asks as she pulls out into the traffic.
"I have two words for you, paperwork sucks!" I grumble holding up two fingers in turn as if to prove it was only two words that I used.
"I can't argue with that," she says laughing. "Did they say anything about…?"
"They have everyone on it and they've all pulled doubles. They're processing as fast as the machines allow. Everyone wants to get the bastard. Between you and me, I think Warrick may actually kill him when that happens."
"Really?" she says with a full smile. "He is a very good friend."
"How did it go with Nancy?" I ask not wanting to discuss Warrick any longer. I was all too aware of the close relationship between Catherine and Warrick, and the fact that he clearly loves her as more than just as a friend.
"It went ok. She was shocked and upset and angry with me at first and then hurt because I've only just told her but I think in the end she understood why."
"Did you get any sleep?"
"A few hours, yes, but…" she blushed adorably as her mouth formed her words. "It was hard not having anyone to hold on to, to help take away the bad feelings."
"Why didn't you ask your sister or Lindsey? I'm sure they would've…"
"I know! It just wasn't them I needed." My mouth opens in a silent 'oh' as I understand her meaning.
It isn't what she says, but more what she doesn't say that is important. She wanted me! I place my hand over Catherine's as she moves to change gear and the rest of the journey passes in comfortable silence.
tbc
