Unmet Expectations.

She clasps her hands behind her back so that no one can see them shake. It is true that she has never been one to count on a happy ending, but now the rush that comes from doing the right thing is wearing off and she is left with a creeping panic better left unacknowledged. She studies the men on either side of her- men who moments ago were her colleagues, but now are only her friends- searching for some sign that they might be feeling it too. They are blank slates, waiting for the elevator just as they've done a million times before.

This time is different.

Her throat is thick. She imagines herself as a stone, feeling nothing. The elevator opens, and she steps in behind her friends. McGee pushes the button for the lobby, and she blinks hard, a preemptive attack against any tears that might dare fall.

This is the last time.

She draws in a shaky breath. Tony's eyes dart her way, a subtle acknowledgement that he knows. She stands a little straighter, sending the message that she is fine.

But she's not.

She is gambling her meager piece of the world, hoping for a payoff. What will she do? What will she do if this resignation becomes permanent? She will belong nowhere.

There is the thought that perhaps it is what she deserves.

The elevator dings and she is the first one out. Tony is making a show of his over-the-top goodbyes to the guards and receptionists. McGee plays along, but she keeps going.

It will be easier if she does not look back.

"Hey!" Tony's voice stops her before just as she unlock the Mini.

"You're not going to say goodbye?" McGee's voice is joking, contrasting the hard glint in Tony's eyes.

She flashes him a light smile, kisses him on the cheek. "Goodbye, McGee."

"Are you just going to go home? I thought…I mean, would you guys like to grab a beer or something? There's that new pub…."

"I can't." She doesn't soften her tone, and she hates herself a bit for that.

Both men are staring at her- McGee with confusion, and Tony with something that's a little like anger, but more like disappointment.

"No worries, McGuiness. I'll go get a beer with you," Tony tells the other man.

She steps into her car, and her last thought before she drives away is that she has never been very good at being part of a family.