a/n: My poems i wrote.. lol.. they tie in with the story (some of em do...) and i wanted anyone whose interested to know, i need a beta! lol. and thanks for reading this story once again. :P

I want my ears to bleed,
to make myself scream,
to find pleasure in pain,
although in the start,
it wasn't intentionally vain,
I want to escape,
but they have me trapped here like an insane ape.

I want to feel pain,
to take all the blame,
to avoid all these feelings of love,
to ditch,
to dismiss,
to hate,
and not kiss,
to let my fate collide,
not to decide.

I just want to let go,
to live,
and to love,
two things I'd like to hope for,
but have no time for anything of the above.

There's no reason to be denying,
to keep my heat more petrifying,
to stop killing and lying,
to let my heart live,
and to stop my thoughts from dying,
making myself incomplete,
without love,
without heat,
just a cold lonely heart,
just to me.

My palms are getting sweaty,
I don't know what to do,
I'd hate to say I told you so,
but it just doesn't seem like you.
I can't find closure,
I can't find help,
I need some way out of this mess,
but your in your own doubt.

Drowning further into my sorrows,
no hope for tomorrow,
numbness is all I feel,
making my heart race with fear,
perishing into darkness,
making me feel,
what I've wanted for so long,
just for something to go wrong,
letting my heart be set free,
just to end up shutting it right back in me.

Take me home,
wake me where I want to be,
take me home and set me free,
my home is not here,
my heart is there,
my soul is in the pits of hell,
I am no angel,
I am no saint,
I'm just a tortured soul who has yet to know her fate.

Every time I let my heart soar,
it ends up being hurt some more
crush and stomped,
mangled and tromped.

Let the venom flow,
through the fire and the snow,
melting all in it's way,
nothing in it's path will see another day,
opening the pits of hell,
taking the fears,
and the doubts,
of the animals that were swallowed inside out.

This life is making me ill,
the pain is shooting through me like a drill,
making me see,
what no good you've done to me,
seeing you use them just like their free.

Lost in myself,
never to be found,
now I'm just a memory stuck in the ground.

Life fades,
life shades,
but it doesn't take my memory away,
it just defies,
and revives,
a memory from a better time.

My deepest rage is jealously,
filled with pitiful agony,
desperate to full that void,
with something less paranoid,
only to have it fulfil,
with something that will kill.

I watch you go away,
just for one minute,
then it's days,
seeing you,
then leaving you,
missing you,
then fleeing you,
I'm afraid and ashamed,
of not having you for another day.

Withering away my self control,
making my life a living hell hole,
surging through emotions,
my life has no devotions.

Joy is something I'll never have,
not anything that makes me glad,
depressed is all I fell,
pain is nothing new,
and I'm faced with nothing real.

In perfect disarray,
my mind lets me sway,
into a world that doesn't have troubles,
doesn't all pain,
all you see is love,
and that's fair game
once reality catches you,
it always latches you,
into problems you've left behind,
when you visited that world that was so divine.

I watch my speakers fade away,
as I have yet to see the comfort in another day,
I want this misery to set me free,
but I just have to take this torture you've created inside of me.

You don't know what it's like,
to not have a place called home,
to be forgotten,
and misshapen,
into a world of lies,
that divide,
and multiply.

a/n: how was it? lol... Thanks for reading.. and you don't have to review for this chapter if ya dun wanna.. wait.. not a chapter.. just poems that are similar to the story :P thank you :) p.s. And if some don't make sense, they may just be a hint to future chapters :P, or not. lol