"Peyton, you haven't even thought about the dress yet? The wedding is less than 5 weeks away!" Brooke said, trying to show Peyton some sketches she'd done.

"I know! It's just kind of hard to get into planning mode when your fiancée is M.I.A." Peyton said, aimlessly playing with a pen on the counter in Brooke's store.

"He's not M.I.A., he's just across the country," Brooke rationalized. "Do you have a colour scheme yet?"

"Brooke!" Peyton shouted, startling her friend. "I just can't think about this now."

Since that morning and the question Nathan had so bluntly posed to her, Peyton's head had been completely all over the place. She couldn't think of anything other than - what if he was right? What if somehow, on some level, she was still in love with Lucas?

"Look, I know this is tough for you right now, but you really need to get on top of things. I can't just make a wedding dress magically appear." Brooke looked at her friend in the eyes, sensing something else was going on in her head.

"I know. I just...I have to go," she said, walking towards the door.

"Peyton!" Brooke protested.

"I have to go!" the blonde insisted.

"Don't forget about dinner at my place tonight! Everyone's coming!" she shouted as Peyton left. The blonde held up a hand and waved in acknowledgment.

"What the hell just happened?" Brooke asked aloud to no one when the door slammed behind her best friend.

--

Peyton spent the rest of her day at home, attempting to work. She returned emails she'd put off replying to, and looked over some cover art that had been sent to her for one of the acts her label managed. She spent two hours at her kitchen table, listening to music and distracting herself from work.

When the doorbell rang, it startled her. She got up from her seat and answered the door.

"Miss Sawyer?" the man asked. "Delivery for you."

She took the vase from him, said thank you, and closed the door. She took the flowers to the kitchen table and opened the card.

'I didn't forget...Love, Evan'

He'd been sending her red roses since the day he first said he loved her. Every 12 days, 12 roses. He was wonderful, and she loved the gesture.

She called him to thank him for the flowers, and when she hung up the phone, she was reassured that he was the man for her. He was thoughtful and considerate and sweet. So he had to work for a few days. She could understand that. His clients paid a lot of money to be represented by him. She loved that he was so in demand and took his job so seriously. She loved him.

She quickly glanced at the clock and realized she had to be at Brooke's in an hour, so she went to her room to change for the evening. She pulled on a simple black dress and black sandals. She pulled her hair up out of her face, and let a few stray pieces fall, framing her face. It was casual, but dressy enough for this dinner party. Apparently 'everyone' was going to be there. She assumed that included Lucas, and made a pact with herself to avoid him for the evening. How hard could it be?

Apparently, it wasn't going to be as easy as she thought. When she pulled up to Brooke's house, she noticed him walking from his car to the door. She parked her car and got out. He saw her drive up, and watched her as she swung her legs out the door of the car. Those long, now tanned, legs he'd spent so many hours watching as a teenager. The ones he never got tired of waking up tangled in his. He smiled slightly as she joined him at the door. He'd already knocked and was waiting for an answer.

"Hi!" Brooke said, before noticing the two people before her, then her tone changed. "Oh. Hi. Come in, guys." She knew how uncomfortable that must have been for both of them. Peyton hadn't said as much, but Brooke assumed her friend's strange mood had to do with the brooding blonde.

Nathan and Haley were already inside, as well as Skills, Mouth, Fergie and Junk. Apparently Lucas and Peyton were the last to arrive.

"Who needs drinks?" Brooke asked.

"I do," Lucas and Peyton both said at the same time.

Once everyone had full glasses, Brooke ushered everyone to the patio overlooking the river.

"Peyton, that dress is awesome," Brooke noted.

"Uh, thanks Brooke. You designed it," the blonde replied, making everyone else laugh.

Lucas looked Peyton up and down again, and had to stop himself before someone else noticed. Too late. Nathan was looking at his brother and shaking his head with a grin.

The friends made small talk until they fell back into the rhythm of all being in the same place again. They spent the evening joking and talking. It felt nice for Peyton to be among these people again. Friends. There were no agendas. No one was using her to try to gain access to her boss. There were no stuffy lawyer colleagues making bad jokes. It was just comfortable. It felt normal to her.

She slipped inside the house to refill her wine glass. While in the kitchen, she heard someone come up behind her. She smelled his cologne before she even saw his face.

"Hi," he said softly.

"Hey, Luke," she replied, turning to face him

"Nathan said you were looking for me this morning," he said, watching her pour white wine into her glass.

"Oh. Well..." she paused, making a mental note to kick Nathan's ass later. "It was nothing."

"Liar," he said with a grin.

"Excuse me?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

He took the bottle from her hand and filled his own glass. "I can still tell when you're lying, Peyt."

She rolled her eyes and grinned at his use of the nickname. "OK, look," she started. "You said something yesterday that I've been trying really hard to forget about, but I can't."

He knew exactly what she was referring to. "You never said no."

"What the hell, Luke?" she said, raising her voice slightly.

"You didn't. I didn't understand that at the time, but I do now." He looked into her eyes.

"What? Are you kidding me?" she asked angrily. "Luke, you can't just say that! it doesn't change anything. I'm getting married in 5 weeks."

The word married just about gave him a heart attack. He knew it was the truth, but every time he heard it, it was like his heart was breaking all over again.

"Peyton," he said softly, taking a step towards her, "I made a mistake that night, walking away from you. I should have waited."

She let out a breath and shook her head at the words. "But you didn't. You couldn't wait. You gave up on us, so I moved on, Lucas." Her tone was calm. She was trying to hide the hurt she felt having to even say those words.

"I gave up?" he asked.

"You couldn't wait a year for me? One year, I asked for." She paused to take a deep breath before continuing. "And you didn't love me enough to do it."

Her words stung his heart. They were so untrue that he didn't know how to respond. "You think I didn't love you?"

"If you did, you would have waited." She placed her glass on the counter and looked away from him.

"So what is this? What am I doing now?" he asked.

"You're confused," she said. "You are just feeling sentimental about the way things used to be."

"No. Don't say that! I've been miserable without you for three years."

"You only want me when you can't have me. It's the way it's always been," she said, needing to believe that herself. He pulled his head back in disbelief of her words.

"I've always wanted you. That's the way it's always been." He paused and leaned forward to whisper into her ear. "Don't marry him."

"Lucas..." she said. His hands found her shoulders and she was forced to look at him.

"Don't. Marry. Him." He begged her with every word. His eyes met hers and she felt herself giving in. With his hands on her and his intense blue eyes staring at her, she knew she had to look away. But before she could, his lips pressed against hers. She pulled away quickly, shocked at how brazen he was being, but when she looked into his eyes again, she saw pain and sadness and heartache. But she also just saw him. Before she could stop herself, she had pulled his face back towards hers and was kissing him. His arms were around her body, holding her as if he was never going to let go.

They parted after a short while and she kept her eyes closed, aware of what she'd just done. That was how a kiss was supposed to feel.

"I need you," he whispered.

"It's too late for that," she said. She grabbed her purse from the table in the hallway and left the house. He heard her car start and leaned his head back. Had that just happened? They had kissed. He couldn't believe that she hadn't felt the same rush of emotions he had when their lips met.

Little did either of them know that Brooke had seen her best friend kiss her ex-boyfriend and walk out of the party. She watched Lucas hang his head, standing in her kitchen. She walked towards him.

"Lucas," she said, startling him, "Let me ask you a question. Do you ever kiss Peyton when one of you isn't in a relationship with someone else?"

"Brooke..."

"No, jackass. You don't get to explain," she said angrily, pointing at him. "You don't get it. You broke her heart. You left her. And now she's happy with someone else. She's happy, Luke! Don't screw with her."

"Brooke, it's not that easy," he said, his tone matching hers.

"It is that easy! You had your shot! You blew it. Deal with it."

"I can't," he said softly.

"Why? Why can't you?" she asked.

"Because I'm in love with her!" he said powerfully, looking Brooke straight in the eye. In that moment, it was the only thing in the world that he knew for sure. It was the only truth that meant anything to him.

"Lucas..."

"Brooke, I can't be without her," he interrupted her. "I've tried, OK. I've tried and I can't do it." He paused and ran a hand through his hair. "I need her."

All the thoughts Brooke had initially had about her best friend marrying the wrong person had just been confirmed. Lucas Scott would always be in love with Peyton Sawyer. He wrote an entire book about it. She'd listened to Peyton cry to her on the phone at 2 a.m. about how he hadn't meant those words, but in this moment, with him standing defeated in her kitchen, Brooke now knew what he knew. That he and Peyton were meant to be together.

"So, what are we going to do about it?" she asked.

His eyes met hers, and he knew that she understood.

--

Peyton slammed her front door of her house behind her and marched straight to her kitchen, knowing there was a bottle of wine there. She'd bought it for her and Evan; it was his favourite. But he wasn't here. And him not being here had made Lucas say those words. She knew him, and if her fiancée had been there, Lucas wouldn't have spoken to her like that - with such disregard for her relationship.

She grabbed a glass and poured the red liquid into it, bringing the rim of the glass to her lips as she quelled a sob. She knew she shouldn't have driven home in the state she had - after two glasses of wine, and tears streaming from her eyes, but she couldn't stay there. She couldn't stay there with him. Being near him made her completely...crazy. She was a version of herself that she hadn't been in three years. He left that person in a hotel room in L.A., and until now, she thought that person was dead.

That person, that Peyton, had so much hope and desire and determination. She had passion for art and music and for love itself. She had dreams and aspirations. She had a life planned out in her head with the man she loved. Now those things were coming true, but it wasn't because she was trying. She wasn't. She was going through the motions, without really moving at all. She worked hard, of course, and loved her job. She wanted to move up the ladder, but that want wasn't a desire. She used to think she could do anything- she truly believed that. She used to believe in a love that was pure and true and strong that it could overcome anything. She used to believe in soul mates. She used to be a person who believed in things - in anything that she could. And Lucas helped her to believe. But when he left, he took that person with him. He made her that person, and he just as easily destroyed her.

She grabbed the bottle in one hand and the glass in the other, and began making her way to the stairs. She spotted the roses out of the corner of her eye and immediately resented them, and everything they represented. Maybe if she hadn't been with Evan, Lucas would have come for her. Maybe if she'd just gone to see Lucas when he was in L.A., they'd be together. Thinking that way made her sob even harder. How could she think that? Evan hadn't done anything wrong. Ever. He was perfect. He was the right guy. He treated her like a queen, and here she was, playing 'what if' over the man who broke her heart. There was no what if. There was done. There was over. There was history, and the past, and the high school love. The first love. You don't forget your first love.

Once she was in her room, she only felt 18 again. She looked at the artwork she'd done then, and it all centered around Lucas. She looked at her record collection, and realized that she could probably pin point a memory that each album had been a soundtrack to.

She needed to get rid of him completely. She wasn't that person any more, and in this moment, she was sure she didn't want to be that person. No, she'd never been happier than when she was with Lucas, but she also hadn't felt a heartache like she had when she woke up in that hotel room to find him gone.

After another glass of wine, she dialed a familiar number.

"Peyton, sweetie, I wasn't expecting you to call," Evan said.

"I know. I just...needed to hear your voice," she spoke softly. She was relieved to hear him. She felt like herself again. Her new self. The self she'd been for two years.

"I miss you too," he said. She could hear him smile on the other end of the line.

"Listen, I want to get married right away," she said abruptly.

"Peyton, we're getting married in 5 weeks. That's right away," he said, his voice laced with concern.

"No!" she said, perhaps too quickly. "I mean as soon as possible. As soon as possible without just going to city hall."

"I have to be here for another week and a half at the very least..." he said. She could tell he was nervous about her sudden need to change the date of the wedding.

"Then in two weeks," she pleaded. "Evan, I just want to be married to you." She held in another sob and her breathing sped up. She did want to be married to him. She wanted that with everything in her. She needed to marry him and get back to her life, to their life. And she needed to get away from Lucas.

"I want to be married to you, too, honey." Even with 3,000 miles between them, he couldn't say no to her. "OK. If you can organize everything, you just tell me when I have to put on the tux."

"I will take care of everything," she said softly, hoping he wouldn't hear her tears.

"I love you, Peyton."

"I love you, too," she said.

And she desperately hoped that was true.