3

Olivia opened her eyes as she felt someone shaking her shoulders gently. For a second she hadn't the foggiest idea where she was and then Elliot came into focus and she remembered. She realised with horror that in sleep her head had rolled and was now leaning on him. She sat up immediately and felt the twinge in her neck which no doubt resulted from the odd sleeping position.

"Ouch," she moaned, raising her hand to her neck. The next thing she felt his hands on her, softly kneading her sore muscles. What was he doing? This was way beyond what she considered safe territory.

"Looks like they're bringing us some food at last," he said. "I thought I'd better wake you."

"What time is it?" she asked awkwardly, unable to concentrate on much other than the awkwardness she felt at having his hands on her neck and shoulders.

"We still have another three hours to go," he said. She marvelled at how she had somehow managed to sleep. That was a first. She definitely put it down to the uncharacteristic daytime drinking. Elliot coming over and keeping her up late the night before probably helped too.

She rose to her feet, deciding now would be the perfect time to visit the bathroom. The brief flash of disappointment on his face almost stopped her in her tracks until she decided she was imagining things. He was almost certainly just trying to prove he was grateful she had come along, nothing more. She could see the food trolley several rows up ahead, which meant she had enough time to pee - and collect herself at the same time.

"Back in a minute," she said stepping around Elliot carefully to get past him. As she walked away, she took a deep breath. Maybe it was all the worry turning him a little strange? All this touching was unnerving. She was much more comfortable with the bickering.

By the time she had finished in the bathroom, the food trolley had already passed her row and was now blocking her route back. She stepped into an empty row to allow it to pass and sat back down in her seat, once again wriggling past Elliot. She noticed there were two meals in front of them.

"I got you the chicken," he said.

"What was the choice?" she asked, a little indignant that he was now apparently making meal decisions for her.

"That or beef," he replied confidently.

"Thanks," she muttered, reluctantly having to admit to herself that he had made the right choice.

"So, what happened with Kathy?" she asked, hoping it would throw him a little and put him in the uncomfortable spotlight for a change.

"Just didn't work out," he said nonchalantly, shovelling another forkful of rice into his mouth. His attitude intrigued her to the point where she almost had to remind herself to close her mouth. He wasn't coming across like a man distraught about the end of a long marriage. She wondered what on earth had happened.

"I didn't mean to pry," she said.

"Yeah you did," he grinned at her. "But it's fine. You deserve to know anyway. Actually she cheated."

"What?" Olivia was shocked and her tone portrayed this. "Kathy? Cheated on you?"

"Yes, although technically we had split up again. I was a mess after everything that happened and I basically took it out on her and so we both decided it would be better for me to move out while I sorted my head out. It was supposed to be a temporary separation but she met someone else and so it became permanent."

"And you're OK with it?" she asked nervously, wondering when the real Elliot would reappear, the one that would be punching holes in things at the mention of his wife cheating on him.

"I had a lot of time to think about everything and I realised it was for the best. Our marriage was a mess for years. Sure we had our good moments. I'll always love her in a way. She'll always be the mother of my kids."

Olivia smiled despite the speech, which sounded to be honest like something he was repeating after several visits to a counsellor. She was glad they were able to stay amicable. She wasn't sure she would be as forgiving if her partner cheated on her and in her eyes it was cheating, even if he had moved out, for it sounded like Elliot had been under the impression they would get back together.

"Liv, so much has gone on. I couldn't deal with us on top of everything else. It's hard to explain."

"It's OK, Elliot," she said seriously. She wasn't sure she wanted to know. His life had been turned upside down and in a way she kind of got it. She knew they both cared for each other and she knew it was complicated. They had been partners first and foremost, sometimes like brother and sister, sometimes like best friends and sometimes like two high school students flirting with a relationship that could never be. Maybe at times she had longed for something more than he was able to give her and she knew they both felt the attraction between them. The line between platonic and romantic love was a delicate one and she suspected that both of them had blurred it on more than one occasion over the years. Right now though it was as clear as day. They were friends and she was here to help him find Lizzie. She had accepted the exact nature of their relationship months ago. Maybe he had detected her feelings towards him and that had been part of the reason he had stayed away? Maybe he had known that she needed the time to get her head straight too? She could only imagine how confusing it would have been for them both had he stayed in contact with her during his latest separation.

"Liv, I never wanted to hurt you," he said suddenly, interrupting her musings.

"Please, El. I know. We worked together. We were partners. We have separate lives outside the job. I get it." She was getting tired of this conversation and wished he would just drop it now.

"It's not that. It's not that I wanted you out of my life when I left the force. It's just…you were my best friend. I knew I shouldn't be thinking the things I was thinking and it just got overwhelming. I couldn't get my head round what I had done and you were there and I was terrified for you and in that moment I thought about all of the cases, the horror we faced day in day out and I knew that I couldn't do it any more because I…."

"You didn't care any more," she interrupted. She understood. They had always believed and said that when you stopped caring, it was time to quit the job.

"No, you've got it wrong. The problem is I cared too much," he whispered, looking at her intently, making sure she fully realised he was not talking about the job.

She looked down at her meal, avoiding his gaze, trying to regain her composure. What did caring too much mean anyway? They had been there before and it had almost cost them their partnership and friendship. This was the exact same thing, but this time it had lasted two years. Maybe this was how their relationship would be until the end of time? They'd grow closer and closer until one of them eventually piked and then they'd go their separate ways for a while before being drawn together again to start the process again. She realised she was tired of it now. Either they were going to be friends or they weren't. She didn't want to be on the emotional roller coaster any longer.

"Elliot," she said, now looking directly at him, trying to communicate her sincerity.

He returned her gaze, wondering why she suddenly seemed so serious.

"I can't do the on-off friendship thing any more. Either we're friends or we're not." She was dismayed to feel the burning of tears in her eyes and blinked furiously. What if he decided not?

"I know, Liv," he said. "It's not fair on either of us, especially you."

"I want you in my life Elliot," she said suddenly, surprising herself with her honesty. A wave of embarrassment enveloped her. Had she really just said that? Had she really just begged for his friendship? Her cheeks blushed red slightly and once again she transfixed her gaze onto her chicken.

He reached forward and touched her face, gently pulling her head and her gaze back towards him.

"I want you in mine too," he whispered. "I'm so sorry Liv. I'm here to stay this time, I promise."

"OK," she nodded slowly. She wasn't completely convinced, but she was willing to give it a try.

"Come here," he said and he hugged her as best he was able given their seating arrangements with food trays in front of them.

The rest of the flight went smoothly, thankfully with little turbulence and before long the "fasten your seat belt" signs came on as the aeroplane descended. Olivia stared out of the window looking out over the water which was dotted with the white lines of ships of various sizes. Kansai Airport had been built on a man-made island just off the coast of the outskirts of Osaka. As they landed the plane came down so low she couldn't help but wonder if they weren't going to land on the water but suddenly the runway came into view on the front monitor and the plane glided in gently, coming to a stop after it's huge engines went into reverse thrust almost immediately after touch-down. There was an announcement in both English and Japanese stating their arrival. The local time was 12:30, lunch time, a whole day after they had set off since they had travelled over the International Date Line during their journey. The temperature outside was 32`C. They reached for their hand luggage and followed the line as everyone disembarked.