The first time that Jane felt awkward around Maura was after that conversation with Frankie.

Her interactions with Maura had always felt easy and natural and so it caught her completely off guard when she found herself embroiled in the extra dimension of thinking. Had they always embraced so tenderly after an absence of three days? Had Maura's hands always lingered at her waist, elbow, spine? Where the hell was she supposed to look when Maura changed in front of her, turning her back slightly in a futile attempt at modesty?

But most importantly, would these things change if Maura knew about this whole inconvenient feelings situation?

She couldn't not tell her, couldn't not confess. If anything, to quiet the constant stream of questions and insecurities buzzing so loud in her head that Maura had to repeat herself twice to be heard over it.

"Jane. I asked, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I just. Um, I don't know if I'm feeling too well, I should probably sleep at home tonight."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I think it was something I ate. Feeling kind of nauseous. I'm going to head out."

"Ok, see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, definitely. Later."

But it didn't get less awkward the next day. Or the day after. It was cruel to let Maura keep thinking it was a physical ailment, especially when she kept trying to diagnose it. So Jane found herself doing the unthinkable: grabbing a blank piece of paper and pen and scribbling out a draft of how to tell her best friend she was in love with her.

That was the easy part.

The harder part was finding an opportune time to spill her heart out. Something with a quick getaway for when Maura would inevitably reject her. Gently reject her, mercifully reject her, preferably. Something with finality so that she could get over it and put all of this behind her, this torturous longing, pining, hope.

She chickened out the next day. But then the day after, they were both working late and caught up on their way out and Jane knew she'd never get a better chance.

"Hey Maur, wanna walk outside for a bit, I need to talk to you about something."

"Of course, everything ok?"

Jane's heart hammered loudly in her ears as she led Maura by the elbow away from the precinct. Waited a few blocks before launching into her spiel.

"Ok, um, I need to say something to you, but please don't interrupt me till I'm done. I need to get it out and I'm scared if I don't say it all at once I'll mess it all up. I even wrote it down and learned it and everything. I, um, like you. A lot. Like, romantically."

"Oh, Jane."

"No, wait, Maura, let me finish. I know it's stupid and out of the blue and I totally understand if you're weirded out. But it felt unfair not to tell you because"

"Jane-"

"of how, uh, close we are, and I can get over it, I promise, I just need you to know."

"Jane, stop. Listen to me." Maura was facing her now, but Jane had trouble lifting her eyes to her, it was safer to look at the spindly cracks in the pavement, the bland grey of concrete.

"Jane, look at me."

She slowly glanced up – no small task, given how much trouble she was having just breathing, blinking, just standing.

"Jane, will you take me out to dinner tomorrow? Like on a date?"

The range of emotions that washed over Jane's face in that instant was not missed on the audience of one, who was grateful when the roulette eventually settled on the signature smirk.

"I don't think I can do tomorrow Maura, I was thinking of asking out this really hot medical examiner that I have a crush on."


A/N: Author overshare: this is how I told my best friend I was in love with her. It ended disastrously. Don't try this at home, kids.

Also: there is a chance this might be the last chapter. Trying to figure out if this can go anywhere without turning into Just Another Cliche Story. To everyone who left a review/followed/favourited: thanks for making my first such a positive experience ;)