It's never a good day they when they are called to a crime scene at 5 am.
It started with a call from Antonio to Hailey, who called Jay.
"This better be important," grumbled Jay as he put the phone to his ear.
"No, not important. I called just to say 'sweet dreams'," retorted Hailey. "Wake up, Halstead. I'm not happy either, but someone decided to kill in the middle of the night."
"Who called?" asked Jay.
"Antonio. I'll pick you up in 10," said Hailey then hanging up. Jay moaned. He got ready, and the moment he finished getting ready, Hailey was already calling him.
"Alright, alright," Jay ducked to avoid the snow falling. He went inside the car.
"Rise and shine," Hailey gave false cheerfulness and passed him a coffee cup.
"You had time to buy coffee?" asked Jay, grateful for the coffee. He sipped the coffee and suddenly feeling more alive.
"The shop owners are still asleep, Jay. I made coffee at home," explained Hailey.
"Thanks," said Jay.
"Figured we might kill each other without coffee," quipped Hailey. Fair enough, Jay thought. On her worst mood, Hailey could kill with her words; while Jay isn't exactly a pleasant person to be around in certain times.
"Where is the scene?" asked Jay.
"I put the address in," Hailey pointed at the GPS. Jay looked at his phone.
"Wait, the crime is…"
"A bomb, in the middle of the night, yes," finished Hailey. Jay grimaced. Sometimes bombs pulled him back to the warzone, and he did not intend to relive that memory.
The day turned from bad to worse when Voight sent Hailey and Jay to visit an important CI in an L train station. Jay said nothing while driving, face hardened and he gripped the steering wheel tightly. Hailey kept glancing over in the car. She was rightfully worried. Jay hadn't finished his therapy sessions, and she remembered his reaction after the post box bombing. She found him in the locker room, shaking and crying.
"Jay? Hey, Jay," Hailey shook his arm carefully when they stopped in a traffic light.
"Yeah?" Jay was startled.
"You okay?" asked Hailey.
"Yeah," said Jay.
"Anytime you need some time, okay? Tell me," Hailey touched his arm with concern.
"Thanks."
They were just approaching the train station when a bomb blasted from where they were walking towards. Jay threw himself in front of Hailey, both took tumble to the ground.
"Jay!? You okay?" yelled Hailey when Jay went rigid. She was pinned under Jay's body, who didn't immediately got off her.
"Yeah… you?" asked Jay, stood up and pulled Hailey up.
"I'm good," said Hailey. She checked for his injuries. He had scrapes on his neck, the only area not covered by clothes and vest, but otherwise, he was okay. Hailey ran her hand through his back to make sure he was okay, and then made a radio call. She ran into the blast zone, looking for casualties and witnesses. Security personnel from the station were already there. Hailey left the witness to Jay; she went to the casualties. One thing she learned from Jay—who sometimes told her about his therapy sessions—is that he has triggers that connected him to the war. Bomb, torn up dead bodies, especially children, as well as heat are some of them that Hailey knew of. His goal is not to get triggered by any of them, but for now he needed to avoid the triggers. She would take the casualty then.
Upon walking to the blast zone, Hailey found that only one dead casualty, torn up badly. The legs were missing, and the body was covered in blood. Hailey cringed and waited for security to bring something to cover the body. She talked to the security personnel, canvassed the area for camera, and walked back to where Jay was talking to the witnesses. He wore a stoic expression, showing his detachment from the case. But she knew that he was just a time-ticking bomb. They looked for the CI they were supposed to meet, but they couldn't locate him.
When Voight arrived, he looked at his two detectives who was covered in dust and—for Jay—scratches. He listened to their report and nodded.
"You two okay? Needed to get looked at?" asked Voight.
"I'm good," Hailey was th e first to answer.
"I'll live," said Jay.
"Alright. Back to the district, start digging," said Voight. They went to the car. She directed him to the passenger's side, patting his arm. She could sense his frustration as this case is going nowhere. Unknowingly, she slammed the door too hard. Jay gasped, his expression was frantic and his breathe went rapid. The sound reminded him of the bomb. The bomb just from an hour ago in the station; the bomb in Afghanistan… While usually he was trained to put on a stoic face in public, he couldn't control himself this time, maybe due to the fact that Hailey had seen his episode before and didn't judge him, or the fact that she had snuck up on him... He dangerously floated back to the warzone. Hailey grabbed his arm.
"Jay, hey, come on," she drove with one hand, getting them out of around the scene. Once they reached a residential area, she stopped the car and turned toward him. She tried to get him to calm down. "Easy, easy, easy. Breathe with me, that's it," Hailey held his back and guided him breathing. Jay had pulled his knees up and curled up in a ball on the seat. He focused on Hailey's hand rubbing his back to keep him aware of his surroundings. Slowly, his breathing slowed down and colour came back to his face.
"Are you okay now?" asked Hailey tentatively after what felt an eternity.
"Yeah. Sorry, Hailey, I didn't mean to…" Jay suddenly realised what was happening.
"It's okay, don't apologise," said Hailey. Jay's pale face was tinted with embarrassment.
"I should be able to control it, and it shouldn't explode now," Jay said regretfully.
"It's okay, Jay. I'm glad it happened when you were not alone," Hailey convinced him. She passed him a bottle of water. "Are you alright now? For real?" she asked concerned.
"Yeah. I'm good," answered Jay.
"I'm also referring to the fact that you had scrapes on the back of your neck, one of which is currently bleeding a little, which I'm gonna look at once we got back," quipped Hailey. She touched the wound on Jay's neck. He flinched. If any, it's good that this happened in winter, when they were wearing jacket and gloves. Otherwise, his arms would be covered in scrapes.
Hailey drove to the district. Neither spoke, only listened to radio calls. Once arrived at the district, they went to the locker room to grab clothes, and changed. When Hailey went back to the locker room, Jay was sitting on the bench, didn't react to her coming in and grabbing emergency kit from her locker.
"Let me treat this," she asked for permission while holding his shoulder. Jay was startled, then nodded. She busied herself sanitising the scrape, which is deep enough to bleed, then put a bandage over it. She then sat beside Jay. "You'll talk to me?" she asked, putting her hand softly over his arm.
"Later. Over beer, after we catch this son of a bitch," Jay's face softened, then hardened.
"Alright. Thanks for saving me, though," Hailey squeezed Jay's arm.
"Anytime. My job to protect you," Jay stood and pulled her up.
"My job too to make sure you're okay," Hailey smiled. They walked out of the locker room.
The case went further south when they found that an ex-sniper is behind the bombings. It wasn't until evening of the next day everything went down. They all stood outside the warehouse used to store the bombs, ready to barge in. Voight explained the plan, then pulled Hailey aside.
"Whatever you do, don't let him out of your sight," he barked.
"Copy that," Hailey jogged over to Jay.
"Ready?" asked Jay. Hailey nodded. "Be careful," Jay brushed her shoulder.
"You too," said Hailey. It had become one of their routines. Jay always said it, and Hailey took it as a mantra. She followed him to the exit door where they were stationed.
The bust happened quickly; they approached from their door, providing back-up for Antonio and Voight. They had to be extra careful as they were surrounded by explosives. Hailey let Jay led the way as she stayed two steps behind him. From the corner of her eyes, she saw movement. A perp, hiding in the corner of the room, suddenly aimed at them and opened fire.
"Jay!" Hailey yelled. She jumped at Jay and brought him down with her, taking cover behind some barrels. From the dying sound of gunfight, she knew that the perp was down—most likely dead.
"You guys okay?" yelled Antonio. Hailey quickly stood, pulling Jay to his feet.
"Yeah," Hailey answered, still shaken. They both looked at the bullet which was lodged at the door, exactly behind where Jay stood seconds ago. Hailey shivered when she realised that they were lucky that she saw the movement, otherwise… Jay patted her back, bringing her to reality.
"You okay?" asked Jay.
"Yeah, you?" Hailey was still shaken. She could see that so was Jay.
"I'm okay. Good job," Jay smiled, guiding her to the rest of the team.
"You guys okay?" asked Voight. Hailey nodded.
"We're good,"
"Alright. Antonio, Atwater, wrap this up. The rest of you, call it a day," commanded Voight. They all went to their respective cars. Hailey was still in autopilot mode. Jay guided her to the car, also on autopilot. They were nearly blown up the day before, and today they were nearly shot.
"I don't feel like drinking in Molly's," said Hailey.
"It's okay. We can do it some other day," said Jay.
"No, I was saying we could drink at your place. Or mine. I don't mind. I just don't fancy loud places right now," said Hailey.
"We can go pick up beer then go to your place. I don't think we should be alone," said Jay. Both were really shaken. Jay figured that all these times he said 'be careful' to Hailey came down to this. It's between being dead and alive out of a gunfight; between working together another week or being partner-less the next week.
"I'll drive," said Hailey. She went to the driver seat and started the car. She needed something to do to keep her grounded. Jay realised this and touched her arm.
"Hey, you sure? I can drive," said Jay.
"No, I… I need this," Hailey's voice wavered. She was exactly where Jay was yesterday, gripping the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white and her jaw hardened. Jay kept his hand on her shoulder. Tears formed at the corner of her eyes.
"Stop here. I'll grab us some beer," said Jay when they turned the corner from a convenient store near her place.
"I'll buy beer, you order pizza?" offered Jay. He was worried, the reaction was unusual coming from her. Hailey nodded, scrolling through her phone to order pizza. By the time she was done, Jay jogged to the car with a six-pack in tow. They went to her place. Hailey sighed as Jay went directly to the fridge and put four beers in, opened two beers, and they sat on the couch.
"Good thing you have hell of a reflex… otherwise I would've left in a body bag," Jay started. It was all he needed to get Hailey to talk.
"Yeah… I don't fancy explaining to Will that I've failed you," Hailey smiled, but her smile didn't reach her eyes. She put her beer bottle on the table and looked down at her hands which were shaking. Tears fell from her eyes. "I don't know what would've happened if I didn't notice him," she whispered.
"But you noticed him, and that's what matter," said Jay. He rubbed her back, trying to calm her. "I'm alive, thanks to you." Jay pulled Hailey into his arms. Hailey cried to his chest, clinging to him. He shuddered when thinking about an alternate universe in which he was shot dead and Hailey, and Will, cried over his dead body.
"Gosh, sorry Jay," Hailey pulled herself from his embrace when she finally calmed down. "I'm sorry, I didn't know what happened…"
"It's okay," said Jay. He passed Hailey her beer. "Thanks, though, for saving me," He looked deep into her eyes, conveying his gratitude.
"Anytime, Jay. I'm you're partner. It's my job saving your ass," Hailey finally smirked. She still held Jay's arm, as if she let go, he would vanish. "It might be because of what Voight said to me…" Jay waited for her to continue. "He said to not let you out of my sight. He knew you were struggling. Thank God he said that, otherwise…"
"The otherwise didn't happen, Hailey," Jay said firmly. Hailey nodded.
"There's something I need to tell you though… About yesterday," Jay stopped, hesitating. "You remember the previous bombing? The post box bombing, which we nearly walked in into?" Hailey nodded. "You remember that one… you found me having panic attack after." Hailey nodded again.
"It triggered the memory of walking into grenade mine on my second tour," Jay gulped.
"You don't have to tell me if it's gonna trigger something again," cut Hailey.
"No, I don't think so. Last time, I was able to delay the panic attack until the case was solved. That wasn't good enough, I knew it was inevitable, but I wanted it to happen when I was alone. At home." Jay took a swig at his beer. "Yesterday, though… we once again nearly walked into a bomb zone. Had we been faster at parking, had we caught green light instead of red, had you didn't spill your drink in the car… we would've been dead. You would've been dead, and for a second I saw torn up bodies, YOUR torn up body flashed before my eyes. I couldn't shake those thoughts yesterday. I don't usually have panic attack in front of people. That I can control. Except yesterday."
"Sorry, I slammed the car door too hard. I didn't realise it would trigger you," said Hailey.
"Of course you didn't. And you're not supposed to," said Jay. "What I am trying to tell you is, thank you for being there and trying to talk me down, when I had the attack. It was important having something to hold on to. Be it something tangible, like being touched, or voice. I used to call Will and had him talk me down," Jay explained. "Sorry you had to see me like that."
"It's alright. I prefer that than you being dead, Jay," Hailey smirked, finally letting go of Jay's arm after squeezing it.
"You alright now?" asked Jay. Hailey nodded.
"You know that if you need me to pull you from a panic attack, I'll always be there, anytime," said Hailey.
"Thanks," Jay smiled. They smiled at each other, both savouring in the fact that after these challenging two days, they were able to drink together. The partner would live on another day. They would be there for each other, as well as protect each other. Bombing, shooting, panic attack… anytime.
I'm a bit short on ideas, although I might write about events that happened in Chicago Med (the pre-wedding held-at-gunpoint for WIll) as I lack ideas of writing them with the lack of Upstead we've been getting lately.
