For what it was worth, Derek was as good of a father as she always imagined him to be. He was doting, loving, patient and his energy level came to par with his very active son. As time passed he stayed with Derek a couple of nights a week, and Derek had taken him to Chicago to spend time with Fran, Des, Sarah and his cousins. Gabe thrived with the love they poured out on him, and though Penelope and Derek were no where near what they were before, as parents there was a distinct partnership and respect between them. Every now and then Derek would catch Penelope watching him and Gabe from the corner of his eye, when she thought no one was looking she let her guard down, and sometimes he could see just how much he had hurt her, and why she would never let him in again.
"So
how's your co-existence with said father of your child going?" Em
asked as they sat at Brunch one Saturday morning while Derek and
Michael took Gabe to his little league practice. Very early on,
Gabriel had made it very clear that as much as he loved Derek and
knew he was his father, Michael had played a huge importance in his
life, and he had enough love for both of them, and wanted both of
them to be around. Knowing he had no right to begrudge Michael of
time with his son and vice versa, he and Michael formed a
friendship.
"It's getting there. Getting used to him didn't
take as long as I thought it would which admittedly frustrates me.
He's gone for five year and in two months he's slipped back in
like nothing's changed. A part of me feels a little cheated.
However unreasonable and unfair that may seem." JJ and Em smiled
sympathetically. They knew that Penelope's walls were beginning to
fail her. That deep down her care for Derek would inevitably
overpower her determination to keep him at arms length.
"What
time is it?" Penelope asked trying to keep a close eye on the time
not wanting to miss the beginning of Gabe's Little League game.
"We should head off now to give us plenty of time to reserve a
whole row of bleachers." Em replied as she looked at her watch.
When they weren't on a case, everyone attended Gabe's games,
Aunty JJ, Uncle Spencer, Aunty Emily, Uncle Aaron, Grandpa Davey,
Michael, Daddy, Mommy and when he was at Uncle Aaron's Jack came
too. Gabriel James Garcia Morgan was not short of love and support.
"MOMMY!!!!"
Gabriel shrieked in excitement as Penelope walked up to the
playgrounds with Aunt JJ and Aunt Emily in tow. Penelope braced
herself for the impact of her five year as he flung his arms around
her waist.
"How's my little Slugger? Did you have a good
practice today?" she asked lifting him up into her arms as he
snaked his arms around her neck.
"Yup. Hi Aunt Em, hi Aunty JJ."
He said with an enthusiastic wave.
"Hey kiddo." Em greeted
dropping a kiss on his cheek as JJ followed giving him a brief
squeeze.
"Ladies," Derek greeted as they walked up from the
dug out where they were talking to the coach. Michael gave JJ and Em
a brief hug while planting a kiss on Pen's temple.
"I made
you guys some sandwiches and brought a few drinks for you in case
you're hungry, seeing as the three of you were out the door at
dawn. I trust you would have fed my son breakfast before you all
snuck out this morning." Michael and Derek grinned,
"Of
course we did. What? You'd think we'd let the kid starve?" Em
handed Michael the cooler bag that held Penelope's treats. Michael
pulled out a sandwich for himself and Derek.
"Hey Slugger, are
you hungry?" Michael asked holding up half a sandwich. Gabe shook
his head,
"No thank you. Mommy, can I have a drink?" he asked
looking up at Penelope.
"Of course you can Baby." Michael dug
a juice box out of the cooler bag and handed it to Gabriel as
Penelope set him down. Gabriel sat beside Michael on the bleachers.
Gabriel's stomach grumbled more from nervousness than hunger.
Having heard it Michael grinned at Gabriel and held out his sandwich
so Gabriel could take a bite. Smiling Gabriel took a bite and chewed
happily as he sat there waiting for the game to begin. Derek couldn't
help envy how comfortable Gabriel was with Michael. They read each
other so well that at times they spoke in their own language. Derek
appreciated that Michael never rubbed his face in it, if anything he
was the most encouraging when it came to getting to know Gabriel
better and spend as much time with him as possible. Derek was
grateful that Penelope was gracious with sharing their son despite
his absence for the first five years of Gabriel's life. Knowing the
battle the Hotch went through with Hayley in the beginning, he could
only be thankful.
After the game everyone came back to Penelope's for a Victory Pizza Party. In truth, win or lose they came back to Penelope's for Pizza and Ice Cream. It was their time together as a whole family, when it wasn't baseball season, they had barbecues in place of Pizza and Ice Cream.
Derek watched as Aaron and Penelope were engaged in a serious in depth conversation in the kitchen. He watched as Aaron placed both his hands on her shoulders forcing her to meet his gaze, whatever he said must've helped as her shoulders relaxed a little as she nodded in response. Aaron then pulled her into his arms as she buried her face into his shirt.
"You
still love her an awful lot don't you?" He heard Michael's
voice interrupt his thoughts. Derek looked up surprised and a little
uncomfortable at the directness of Michael's words,
"It's
okay. I can understand why. Pen's awesome." Derek knew there was
no denying it even if he wanted to.
"Yeah, I do."
"Are
you in love with Pen?"
"This is hardly an appropriate
conversation to have between us isn't it?"
"Well, we aren't
exactly a conventional bunch are we?"
"That is true. Do you
really want to hear this?"
"Yes I do, because I think it's
time we had this talk." Derek nodded, at the very least he owed
Michael his honesty. The two of them slipped out of the apartment to
go for a walk.
"A part of me will ALWAYS love Pen. I have never
loved anyone as much as I loved and love her. She was my best friend,
and I guess a part of me will always hold that title solely for her.
I screwed up almost six years ago, I gambled, I freaked and I ran. I
lost her, but I will never stop loving her, but you have my word I
would never come between you two. She deserves her chance for
happiness. I have no right to take away something that I willingly
walked away from all those years ago."
"I appreciate that.
The thing is, Pen and I work the way we work because we both know
that her heart already belongs to someone, and despite how much she
wants it not to, she gave it to you a long time ago and she can't
get it back, and she and I can't ever be together because of a
couple of reasons. One of which is that I am gay." It all then
began to make sense to Derek. Michael had his own room, which he
thought it was a spare bedroom, the fact that they were affectionate
but not intimate, it all began to slip into place,
"Pen and I
could lavish each other with as much love as we wanted with no
strings because there was no threat of us falling into that friends
to lovers trap. I was with her when she realised she may be pregnant,
I was there when she took the test, there when she gave birth. It was
accidental or fate but from that moment on we just became partners.
We were there for each other unconditionally. I got sick about a year
after Gabe was born, and in true Pen fashion she stood by me through
chemo, actually they all did. Despite the fact that she had a new
born and was a single Mom working, she took care of me too. In time,
I went into remission. Pen's my best friend, and I know that I am
hers, and she has Hotch too, but she and I have lived through the
worst moments of our life together, and having Gabe brought so much
happiness in place of the sadness. Derek, the reason why I am asking
you about how you feel about Penelope is because I'm sick again,
and there's no remission in my future. What I have has become
terminal. I need to know that when I'm gone you're going to be
there, because despite how much she fights it, she loves you. She
wants to be with you. She's going to need you. I need to know if
you're up for that challenge, that you want it, because she's not
going to make it easy for you." Derek's heart dropped to the
floor at Michael's confession.
"I love her, heart and soul I
love her and I promise you I will be there for her if it means I have
to handcuff myself to her, I will be there."
"I was hoping
that was the case. Thank you."
"Are you okay? Is there
something I can do for you?" Derek asked sorrowfully. He had grown
to like Michael in the months that he had gotten to know him.
"Yeah
I'm okay. As long as I know she's going to be well taken care of,
that's all that matters."
"Thank you for everything you've
done for her and for Gabe. For all the love you've poured out to
both of them."
"That was the easy part." Michael replied
with a soft smile as he led Derek back to the apartment.
