Being with him was hard.

Most things in her life (everything, if she was completely honest) were relatively effortless. That was what happened when your family had superpowers and centuries to build their fortune. So she had assumed that once they overcame Edward and Jacob everything would just fall into place and she and Seth would live happily ever after.

Maybe it had been a tad naive of her to think that, but thought that she had. They would kiss and fall in love and get married and be blissfully happy forever.

But it was a lot harder than all that.

Her family continued their policy of being overly helpful but rather uninvolved. Rosalie, she knew, was pleased she had chosen anyone-but-Jacob. Her mother, on the other hand, was just a bit devastated Jacob had been left alone once more. Bella tried not to let her daughter see, but Nessie couldn't help noticing that it was like she had picked her father's best friend over her mother's. After everything her mother had done for her, Nessie had put other people before her mother.

And she had no idea how to fix that.

She started by repairing her relationship with Jacob because that seemed like the logical place to start.

That, too, became far more difficult than before. It was still easy and effortless, being with Jacob, except now there was no pretending he wasn't an over-protective father which wouldn't have been so bad if she didn't already have four of those. Five was a little suffocating.

And Seth didn't really like it when she spent too much time with Jacob.

He never said anything, just rolled his eyes when he forgot she was looking. He apologized when she called him on it, but he didn't stop. And Jacob did not help matters much by doing whatever he could to provoke her boyfriend. Or at least keep Seth on his toes. She never used to come home from their playdates smelling like Jacob.

She was stuck trying to juggle the both of them, which was not easy when they played games that kept her in the middle and confused. Even talking to Jacob about it, which in the past had been a sure way to solve all her problems, resolved nothing. In the end, she just did the best she could and if she saw Jacob much less than she used to…it's not like being friends with Jacob helped her mother understand.

Of course, Mommy said, "I just want you to be happy. And if Seth can do that…"

It was all that her mom didn't say that annoyed Nessie, who didn't like the implication that anyone who wasn't Jacob couldn't possibly be up to the job of making her happy.

But it was better listening to Bella hint that Seth wasn't worthy than to have his mother and sister say to her face that she was not.

Leah Clearwater had never liked her, except when she remember Nessie was preferable to Bella. Nessie realized over time her existence was a threat to the stability of La Push (Leah always seemed to believe that Jacob could be stolen away at a moment's notice) so Leah hated her.

But Leah's dislike because Nessie might steal her boss was nothing compared to Leah's dislike when she saw her little brother was dating a half-vampire.

Nessie had no doubt about her beauty and her brains (thank you, vampire genetics) so Leah attacked everything else with snarky comments designed to drive unwanted girls away. It was only the stubbornness she had learned from Jacob that had Nessie enduring.

"Ouch. Stay back, bloodsucker. It's a paper cut, not a come on."

"You allowed to cross the street if you're not holding his hand, kid?"

(Jacob heard that one and dragged Leah outside. "You see your little princess happy here?" she demanded. "You see her doing anything but taking off and leaving him and breaking his heart?" And Jacob told Leah to tone it down before Seth heard—and didn't tell her to stop)

"You'd think you'd be tired of having him act like a butler one of these days."

"Amazing what a guy will put up with for a hot piece of ass, isn't it?"

(Not he was getting even that perk. At this point, she had put off having sex for so long there was the small problem that she was going to be terrible at it. She didn't want to disappoint him—so avoiding sex forever seemed like a good plan)

It was only when Leah forgot her brother had better ears than her that Seth found out. And he had not been happy. Not at all. Nessie normally would have preferred a resolution that didn't involve yelling, but she was too glad to hear Leah agree to stop that she didn't mind.

"Why in the world would you put up with that?" he demanded afterwards, expression still stormy.

She showed him how awful it would be for him, to be caught between the werewolves and the vampires, his family and her—Seth didn't even let her finish, just rolled his eyes and shook his head. "It's not like that, Nessie. My sister has no damn right—she says anything like that to you again and you better tell me."

"Fine. I'll tell you."

Thankfully, Leah toned it down to comments that could be misinterpreted as compliments (or just vague statements) so Nessie managed to leave her boyfriend out of it.

Sue Clearwater was a trickier proposition; she was unimpressed with her son's new girlfriend but then Sue was rather unimpressed with the world in general and her son's girlfriends in particular. She was polite—but nothing more.

"She likes you just fine," Seth said when she complained. "I'm quoting here."

"That's not exactly a glowing commendation."

"It's not hatred, either."

But she was Rensesmee Carlie Cullen, half-human, half-vampire miracle child. People did not merely tolerate her.

They worshipped her.

After months puzzling over everything, there was only one solution that she could think of.

She asked Sue.

"Why don't you like me? And what can I do to change that?"

Sue didn't even look up from the vegetables that she was chopping. "Hand me that knife, child?"

Nessie did, knowing that some people just didn't like to be rushed. And eventually Sue replied: "There's nothing you can do."

"Unacceptable."

The tiniest of smiles appeared on Sue's face. Perhaps that was what prompted her to speak.

"I always knew I would lose him. I only asked two things, really, two small things to make losing him bearable. One, she had to appreciate how lucky she was. And two, she had to be strong enough to protect him."

Is that how people saw her? So sure, so wrong? The experience did Nessie no end of good though she only half understood it.

All she said was, "I do know how lucky I am. And any one stronger than I am would have to be a full vampire and incapable of producing grandchildren. Ever."

Not that Nessie planned to have kids for another two hundred years, if that, but the reminder of the cherished grandchildren and taking her words literally had a strange effect on Sue. The older woman laughed before ordering her to get a bowl.

It still wasn't much, but sheer perseverance had Sue allowing her to share the woman's son. She let Nessie listen to the stories and corrected her Quileute and was a general nuisance, so Nessie was pleased with her own work.

Even if she laughed every time she thought about Seth needing protection—he needed that even less than Jacob who she still saw as invincible. Seth was Seth, in some eternal, immutable way. Nessie didn't understand it, she was jealous of it most of the time, but she recognized it and didn't see how anything could ever change it. She understood it was precious, of course she did, she loved him so much; she just didn't understand how Sue failed to see that her son had inherited more from her than an appreciation for Swan silences.

People, Nessie concluded, were very funny.

"So your mother is going to teach me how to skin a rabbit," Nessie told him as they walked along First Beach, hand in hand, enjoying finally being in the same town after all this time. The summer was going by too quickly, but only because it was so wonderful.

"You can tell her to back off."

"Why would I want to do that? I practically had to beg her to let me do this." That was an exaggeration; Sue had capitulated easily, pleased Nessie wanted to learn.

"It was just a reminder that you're dating me, not her. Don't let her make you do things."

"I enjoy it. Honest, Seth. Your mother…well, she still scares me but she's a very interesting woman and we both agree that you're rather adorable and would be lost without us so don't worry."

He laughed, the sound booming across the water. "All right. But if she starts sending you my birthday presents we will have to have words. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

They stopped at the water's edge; Seth dropped to the sand, pulling her down onto his lap. It should have been infantilizing, she supposed, but she liked sitting on his lap. His arms around her made her feel safe and it gave him wonderful access to her neck (and if they were alone, other parts of her as well). On the beach, it also allowed him to spare her dress from the sand.

"Did I tell you your dad brought up Dartmouth again?" he said against her ear.

Her father had never approved of her go-to-the-University-of-Washington-to-stay-near-Jacob plan and since she had refused a future with Jacob Daddy was eager for her to go to an even more prestigious school (his alma mater, for example).

Seth continued: "I thought you wanted to go to Yale."

Only Seth would ignore just how many thousands of miles both schools were from him to talk about which one she wanted to go to.

"I like where I am right now," she whispered as she played with his hands. He had beautiful hands, though they looked funny next to her own, almost twice as big, rough and dark and yet somehow much more graceful than she could ever manage.

"We'd figure it out."

"No, I'd go off to do what I wanted and you'd adjust accordingly. Does that seem at all fair to you?"

"You stuck someplace you don't want to be—"

"I do want to be here."

"Even though Yale has the best…whatever it was in the country?"

"I'm not going."

"Nessie—"

"Drop it before I start thinking you want me to move across the country."

"I do want you to move across the country," he said, not even realizing how hurtful it could be, "If you'd rather got to Yale."

"I couldn't be happy there, okay? I couldn't…" There was no sense in pretending otherwise, so she didn't bother. She told the truth. "I'd be miserable without you. So just drop it. Please?"

"Fine," he agreed. "You want to come fishing with Charlie and me tomorrow?"

Unfortunately, that was not the end of it. Father knew best, after all.

Even while she resented the implication that she couldn't make up her own mind, Nessie admitted she couldn't stop thinking about Yale. She had never planned to spend four years at the University of Washington; when Jacob finally stopped being stubborn she had planned to transfer, using the correspondence credits she had amassed during her years at home to enter the medical program she desired. While she explained it as an unwillingness not to leave the friends she had made, Nessie knew she wasn't fooling anyone. She was still in Seattle because Seth was in Washington. Most of her family thought it was sweet, the way she couldn't leave him.

Edward really wanted her to go to Dartmouth. And he wasn't hesitant about recruiting everyone to his crusade.

At one of the pack gatherings, Nessie found herself talking to Rachel about schools, being given Edward's Ivy League speech almost word for word. It was disconcerting. Still, she stayed for the whole thing. At least Rachel was talking to her.

Nessie had never been welcome to the La Push events when Jacob wasn't at her side scowling for the others to be nice and things had gotten worse since she had openly started seeing Seth. There was a pretence of civility but no more—they would not be her friends.

She had even noticed they were rather cold towards Seth. Not that she thought the other wolves hated him, just that their union was considered some sort of abomination. If anything, Jacob was the only one who still treated the two of them the same (Nessie was the little girl he doted on; Seth was the young wolf pup that annoyed him but that he still valued above almost all others). She didn't dare ask Seth about it, unsure if his silence meant he hadn't noticed or simply refused to be bothered by it.

Either way, she hated that she was coming between him and his friends.

Perhaps that was why she had been so receptive to Rachel's questions and comments—maybe if she wasn't so close by they wouldn't hate him as much for caring about her.

"Could you tell Edward to stop interfering?" she asked as he walked her home. It was easier to drive, but he liked being outside and she just liked spending time alone with him. "I know he won't listen to me, but he might listen to you."

"Interfering?"

"Rachel suddenly cares about my future? She didn't care about my future when I was destined for her brother. I doubt she changed her mind now that I've started to see you."

"That was my fault." Of course he defended her father. "I mentioned you could be going to Yale and she got all excited. Your dad has other plans."

"Such as?"

He just smiled at her. "That would spoil the power point."

At least he was getting along with her father again. She would allow them to conspire against her as long as they continued getting along.

"Rachel is only excited because she wouldn't be the one leaving you behind."

"We managed a whole year in different cities."

"Right now we see each other once or twice a week, Seth. If I got to Yale, we'd see each other only on holidays."

"If that's what you're worried about, don't be. It would work out," he shrugged.

Long-term planning was not his strong suit. He just thought up things and hoped and usually got lucky. But given how lucky the two of them had been in the past she was disinclined to trust that. It was the law of averages—eventually something terrible would happen.

"I'm not leaving you. Unless...would your friends start treating you better if I left?"

"What?"

"Seth, they don't—they aren't happy when they see us together."

"They're fine with it," he lied.

"It bothers them that I'm part vampire." Seth couldn't protest that as much as he wanted to. "Does it…does it ever bother you?"

"No," he said so frankly she couldn't have doubted it, even if she wanted to. "It's kind of hot how much you like it when I kiss your neck."

"Shut up," she giggled. "I like it better when I'm kissing yours."

"Do you ever…if you wanted to try actually biting me—"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"What's wrong with my blood?"

She knew he was teasing her; that's what he did. But at the same time, she was so embarrassed she couldn't help take everything seriously.

"I don't need blood to survive. Ergo, I shouldn't be drinking it from humans."

"I'm not human. And if you ever wanted to try, I'm game. Anytime. As long as it's my blood. You suck some other guy's blood and I might get a little cranky."

He was so remarkably nonchalant about the whole thing she wanted to cry. Or kiss him. She settled for reminding him how much she loved him. He loved her back, he said. Then he asked:

"Does it bother you that I'm a werewolf?"

If he wasn't a werewolf, she would have to watch him die.

"Only in the sense that your pack doesn't like me."

"They just…you're not like the other girls."

"Does it…does it ever bother you that I'm not Quileute?" At the pack gatherings she always stuck out and not just because Alice had a designer fetish.

"Does it bother you that I am?"

If he wasn't, he wouldn't be Seth.

"Only in the sense that your entire tribe doesn't like me."

He laughed, squeezing her hand. "Ness, I don't know why they don't adore you the way I do. It doesn't change anything. I've found someone who makes me happy and they will learn how to deal with it." He pulled her into his arms, leaning over until his nose was touching hers. She closed her eyes, loving the way he loved her. "They're in shock, a little bit, but they still…they're still happy for us underneath it. Trust me, okay?"

"They're your friends," she capitulated. If he was willing to risk them…which made her all the more determined not to leave him. "But Rachel needs to stay out of everything."

He laughed and kissed her until she was glad it was late and dark and that he had such nice hands.

In Egypt, Edward introduced her to every Dartmouth graduate in the country and only stopped when her mother saw that Nessie was about to cry.

"He was just trying to make sure you were happy," Bella promised.

"But I...I don't know." She sighed, "I thought it would get easier."

She couldn't help glaring at her parents a little bit for not teaching her that it just stayed confusing and complicated instead of getting all magically solved. It would have been nice to be prepared.

Her mother just smiled.

Her parents retired to their room (on the opposite side of the hotel) for the night and Seth was resting his head in her lap. He had fallen asleep almost instantly. Now she got to enjoy how thick his hair was, when she ran her fingers through it. It used to be below his shoulders, he told her once, but she knew the only time she would ever see it that way was if he stopped phasing—she was all for the short hair.

The night sky would not give her any answers—though seeing her favorite constellation just made her lean down to kiss him awake.

"Why do you want me to leave you?" she asked.

He hadn't brought it up himself since she told him to drop it, but she could tell he was cheering for Edward to succeed. She knew he loved her, so why would he want her to go?

He sighed and sat up; he crossed his legs so he was facing her on the bench. Then he took her hand and was actually serious for a change.

"You want to go and I can't stand the idea that I'm holding you back."

"I don't think that."

"Now. I know you think I can't think ahead—and you're mostly right—but I can't stop thinking that in a hundred years the only thing you'll remember about right now is that you wanted to go to Yale and I stopped you. I don't want to be responsible for that."

"Seth…" But she didn't know what to say because she saw the logic in what he was saying, even if she didn't want to leave him.

"If this thing between us really is meant to be, then what's a few years for you to go to school right the first time? And if it's not, then you shouldn't throw away everything for some guy you're not going to stick with."

"You're not some guy," she rolled her eyes.

"Then go to Yale."

So she went to Yale.

Of course her parents had already set up the transfer (to six different schools, actually, but she didn't ask). Most things in her life were as easy as opening her mouth—actually, all she usually had to do was think she wanted something. So it didn't surprise her in the slightest that she could just switch into the medical school of one of the most prestigious universities in the country just because she felt like it.

Seth managed to get two days off, supposedly to help her move in, but her family was coming up the next day to help and they didn't dare do anything but survey the empty rooms where her family would set up her furniture.

"I guess we're just going to have to go out and explore our new territory," he said.

She laughed and let him take her hand and pull her into the streets of New Haven, ready to take a look around her new home. He made her eat hot dogs from the street vendor, but otherwise she was in charge, using the map to explore everything she had been told to visit. He didn't mind, just kissed her at each new place they went to.

Her family was coming tomorrow and he would leave with them and then she wouldn't see him until Christmas. They were fairly adept at having conversations over the phone, but she knew he wasn't completely comfortable with not being able to touch her and smell her and taste her and feel her whenever he felt like it. It would be hard on him, which meant it would be hard on them.

She did not want that to happen.

When he caught her yawning, he said, "We should head back. You're parents will be here far too early tomorrow. You wanna stop someplace and get yourself an air mattress?"

"I have a better idea." It helped that the hotel was just behind him—it was practically ordained. "Come on."

He said nothing as she handed the credit card over to the concierge. Thank goodness he believed in communal wealth. Getting Jacob to let her pay for things had always been a headache as a child. It didn't seem to have occurred to Seth that letting her pay for everything was a threat to his masculinity; he understood she had money and he didn't and that was that. Plus he was too busy chatting with the recently arrived couple behind them to pay attention to what she was doing.

When they got to the elevator, he did say, "It would have been cheaper to get an air mattress."

"It was only a couple hundred dollars."

He laughed, pressing her against the elevator wall, arms encircling her. "It's worth that much to get me alone?"

"Worth more than that. And you don't have a choice."

"That's my adorable little dictator."

She flushed, but he didn't notice, already distracted by the elevator buttons.

The room was nice and cozy, she thought. The view was gorgeous, framed by the floor length curtains. The rich dark wood gave the room a rather homey feel…and she was staring at the walls because she hadn't thought the king sized bed would be that conspicuous in the middle of the room.

The fluffy white bedspread seemed to stretch for miles. The bed that looked like it was made from clouds was the reason she had been willing to spend all that money. The more she thought about leaving him the more she realized she didn't want to. She finally came to the conclusion she didn't care what happened as long as he kept loving her.

She just wished the bed wasn't so obvious.

Fortunately, Seth just threw himself down on top of the bed without comment and began playing with the television remote. "Wicked," he breathed, as he found the game.

She giggled. Then he asked her, "How's the bathroom?"

"Should come with a marble bath."

He winked at her, so she sat down behind him on the bed, wrapping her arms around his neck. He was always so warm. "Is this okay?" she whispered against his ear.

In response he turned his attention from the game, pushing her down on the bedspread that felt like heaven, gazing down at her with obvious affection. Ever distracted, he moved her hair so it was fanned out around her. Once his picture was complete he settled his hand on her hip, thumb being terribly distracting even though it was just drawing a tiny circle there.

It was incredible. All he was doing was lying beside her and he was making her feel…well, she was always safe and she was always adored and she always had everything, but it was just so nice to just be simply happy like this.

"It'll do," he shrugged.

She giggled and then pulled him down for a long, deep kiss, even if she kept her thoughts to herself this time. It wasn't a time for cheating. Even if she sucked at this sort of thing (both explaining things and articulating her own desires). But if she couldn't say this to him, then who was she ever going to be able to say it to?

Her fingers stroked his cheek as she tried to work up her nerve. "I…"

"I love you, too," he promised, kissing her nose lightly. "All your ridiculous self."

His kiss felt almost chaste this time. Not exactly what she wanted, even if the affection she could practically feel radiating off of him gave her the courage to finally say it.

"The idea of being without you for the next little while, even if it's just temporary, is horrific," she began with a shaky breath or five. "But the idea of you leaving here without…I can't stand the thought of that. I need to be with you. I…I want to be with you."

She hadn't meant to curl her leg around his hip, but it seemed her body had a mind of its own. The action surprised her, but she didn't move either. She liked how it felt and how he held her there firmly.

"Ness…" He gazed at her while she tried not to blush even worse than she was already doing. "It is just temporary. You're coming back to me. Or I will pout like you wouldn't believe."

"I know," she replied simply. His fingers brushed through her hair as she smiled up at him and admitted, "But I kind of don't want to wait until then."

"You always were impatient."

"Just...please don't mind too much if I suck at it?"

He laughed in her face.

"You're, like, the most adorable thing ever," he declared as he lowered his head, bringing them together one more time. It was like swimming in a heated pool. Calm seemed to flow from him to her, until every moment seemed languid and slow and perfect.

His stomach decided to speak up then. How impolite of her.

"Sorry," she muttered. "I forgot. Shall we get room service?"

"Sure," he grinned as he rolled off of her. The way he watched her made her feel precious—it almost made her skip around the room to find the room service menu.

Since they were already spending a fortune (and tomorrow she would feel guilty about it, about having so much more than everyone else, but for one night she was going to just enjoy how perfect her life was) she ordered him every desert on the menu and then a few hamburgers, just in case.

He went back to watching the television, so she settled on top of his back and played with his hair, enjoying the way the whole world shook when he laughed.

"I'm not too heavy, am I?"

That made him laugh some more. "Whatever you say."

Since the only sport she really liked watching was baseball, she started nibbling on his ear. And playing with his hair. And generally making a nuisance of herself until the food was brought to them.

"What?" she asked as she pushed the food beside the bed after paying for everything.

If anything, his smile got wider. "How can you be hotter than all that food?"

She couldn't think of anything to do but stick out her tongue. "What do you want first? Oh. Check out the mini ketchup bottles. I can't believe we need ketchup in bottles this small."

"Travel sized," he observed.

"But we're not going anywhere."

Sitting cross-legged beside him on the bed she began picking at her hamburger as he started devouring the rest of the cart. Werewolf eating habits really were most fascinating…as was the way he was licking the ketchup off his fingers.

He caught her looking (stupid werewolf instincts) and his grin made her blush. If only her stomach would settle down. She decided to let him have the rest of the burger and started on the chocolate sundae before it melted.

"You're going to make a mess," she observed as he picked up the rest of her burger.

"I'll live."

But no sooner had he dismissed her concerns than a glob of ketchup fell on his shirt.

"Told you so," she chirped.

"Cute," he complained. After removing most of the stain, he just shrugged. "Oh well. I'm sure they provide clothes here."

"Probably just a bathrobe."

Not that she was going to complain, because he shrugged off his shirt. Good.

"You look more like you now," she observed.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment." Then he leaned over and kissed her ever-so-lightly on the corner of her mouth. Breathe, she reminded herself. "You had fudge there. You know I can't resist chocolate."

"Uh huh."

She didn't mean to let the ice cream drip down her chin, but he had moved on to licking her pulse point and she couldn't concentrate on anything when he did that. His mouth was far too warm as he licked the chocolate from her.

She did mean to drop the next bit of syrup on her chest, however.

"Oops."

"Chocolate covered Nessie," he murmured to himself. "Tell me that isn't the hottest thing you can think of?"

"Shut—oh."

This time he wasn't content to merely clean off the chocolate. No, this time he had to make sure there was nothing left behind, sucking at the skin right above her neckline, warmth spreading through her entire body as she tried not to shake.

When he finished, she just stuck her finger into the sundae and placed a dollop of ice cream on the top of her other breast.

"I guess I got klutzy," she said as he lowered his head again. Her nipples had tightened painfully as he nipped her skin ever so lightly. She arched her body up—she liked being helpful after all—and was delighted to find his fingers were undoing the zipper at the back of her dress. It was one of Alice's better designs; once the zipper was undone the material slipped down her shoulders easily.

He placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder then started nuzzling her neck as she pushed the rest of the dress to her hips.

"Lean back," he murmured. "And give me that."

"You're stealing my ice cream?"

"Yup."

Then he pushed her back, making her laugh. The bed welcomed her like an old friend, though the cold dessert on her sensitive skin distracted her attention from the furniture rather quickly. Goose pimples appeared on her flesh, but the heat from Seth's mouth made her moan aloud. There was too much feeling on her poor breasts.

"Yum."

He made sure she was perfectly clean before he started on her left side, this time adding just a touch of whip cream on top of the ice cream.

"Pig."

He just laughed and went back to torturing her.

She kept arching up to offer herself more fully to him as he dribbled chocolate sauce and ice cream all over her stomach. The cold alone was making her pant, body alert to his tricks now and eager for his mouth to come along.

"Watch the dress," she managed to say. It was an Alice Cullen original, after all. "But don't stop," she had to beg when he sat up.

"Someone's impatient," he laughed, tugging the dress off her carefully and completely. He was a little less careful with her panties, but at least she wouldn't ruin her clothes now. Yes, she was just thinking of her clothes and not all the things he could do to her now that she wasn't wearing them.

"Don't move," he warned her. "I don't want to make a mess."

"Then stop using me as a plate."

"World's hottest plate."

Then he started spreading the ice cream between her breasts, down her stomach, spreading out at the bottom. "Are you…drawing an arrow?"

His 'who me?' expression didn't fool her for a second. Seth was far too adorable for words. Before she could scold him for being a giant child, he put the finish touch on his design. Kneeling above her, gazing down at her in obvious admiration, he declared: "Beautiful."

Then he placed one gentle kiss just below the ice cream, in the small clean expanse of skin that was just above where she really needed him to be kissing.

Even with the scent of chocolate and burgers and too much ketchup in the air, it must have been obvious to him how much she was enjoying playing the canvas. In fact, he laid his head on her thigh for a moment, just breathing her in, drawing something on the inside of her thigh that had her adjust her legs further apart.

"Sorry," he said as he sat up, almost as if he was just waking to the world again.

"I don't mind. You can stay there."

But he didn't listen, just he moved back between her breasts. He took his sweet time, not caring that she was freezing, or burning up, or about to die if he didn't do something about the way her body was focused entirely on him. No, he was more interested in the taste of chocolate along her abdomen—so she had no choice but to grip his hair and start tugging his head down.

"Patience," he scolded, a hint of syrup on his chin that she wanted to kiss way. "We have all night."

"You can't make me wait all night."

That grin was not reassuring.

"You wouldn't."

"We have forever."

Her heart was hammering, desperate to escape her chest it seemed, but he was talking to her stomach so she couldn't read the expression on his face. Did she really need to? It was a joke, a throwaway comment—but Seth didn't say things he didn't mean, either. So she closed her eyes, let the smile drift over her face, and let him enjoy his desert.

When he got to the skin just below her navel she ran into some problems keeping her legs still, so he shifted so his thighs were on either side of her legs, too warm and solid and she wanted them to stop forcing her legs together. As much as the squirming was helping, it wasn't nearly enough.

"There," he announced. "All clean."

"Now can we—"

"Hold on," he interrupted, climbing off her and the bed and going back to the food cart. Dipping one of the napkins into one of the forgotten glasses of water, he came back to clean her off. "I don't want you sticky later."

And she wanted to argue, really, but the ice water against her flushed skin was worse than the ice cream had been. Because through the thin paper Seth was gently massaging her skin, tricking each muscle into relaxing, even though what she really wanted…

"Could you take over for a bit?" he asked, holding out the napkin.

"What?"

She accepted it anyway, too distracted by his kiss to say anything, just leaned into him, moaning against him when she felt his hand back against her thighs. Eagerly parting her legs, she waited for him to finally touch her.

"I want you to promise me something," he whispered, hot breath on her ear.

All that came out was a whimper.

"You have to keep looking at me. Okay?"

"As if I could stop," she managed.

So he lowered his lips and she was so distracted by him and the cloth she was rubbing against her sensitized tits that she didn't notice what his hand was doing until she felt his fingers bury themselves inside her.

The feeling of fullness made her shake. It was different than it usually was, made her gasp in shock at being stretched like that.

"What—hmmm…" she decided against thinking for the next little while. "Yes, please."

"You like?"

But all she could do was moan in agreement.

Every movement of his hands brought her closer to the elusive ideal, freedom from her aching body and desperate fresh, something larger than even her infinite thoughts. The feeling in her body became all that mattered, nearing completeness as he filled her, touched her in the most intimate part of her until she was coming around his hand, words failing her completely.

Slowly, he pulled out from her, hand on her already wet thigh, leaving her feeling bereft. And a little sorer than usual—but that's what vampire healing was for.

"That was a nice warm up," she said brushing her nose against his cheek. This was probably her favourite part, where she felt so close to him it was almost like they were the same person. "But since you've already had desert, shouldn't you start in on the main course?"

"But I've always kind of had a thing for appetizers."

"Seth..."

Her giggle faded as he slipped off the bed. Where was he going now?

With one easy tug he pulled her until she was on the edge of the bed. She would have protested, really, but it was kind of nice having him kneel between her legs, mouth on the sensitive skin near her knee.

"Seth, come here."

"But I'm still hungry."

His mouth was on her thighs now and all her very reasonable arguments for why he should not do that disappeared. As he kissed his way up her leg, he wondered, "Do you have any idea how good you taste?"

She almost impaled him with her heel when he finally gave her pussy one long lick.

Her apology was drowned out by the sound of ripping leather. Her poor shoe.

"Shit. Sorry. Uh—"

"It's fine Seth," she said, using her foot to guide him back between her legs. "I can buy new ones."

To prove the point, she ripped the remaining shoe off her other foot. That made him laugh and he got back to the much more important work of eating her out.

"Come here," she begged again but he didn't stop. Since he wasn't going to play fair neither was she. Her thigh was against his bare shoulder and that was all the skin contact she needed.

They were in the forest, only the trees and the sky above them. Around them were the trees he knew as well as she knew her books, protecting them from the outside world. The gentle breeze blew the salt of the ocean through the clearing. And it was silent save for the sounds of the other animals retreating as they left the forest's most dangerous predators alone and the music they made together.

Seth was lying in the earth, the earth he loved more than he loved her, and she was above him the way she knew he'd love (but also because she didn't like the thought of getting dirt on her person—this was for him, so she figured it couldn't hurt to be a little unrealistic). She imagined what it would be like, if he would just stop his assault on her pussy and come to her, the two of them together the way two people in love were supposed to be.

One.

His hands would leave dirt on her skin as he cupped her breasts. Seth liked that—in reality she could hear a zipper undoing as he let himself enjoy the fantasy. Maybe the markings on her skin, the dark earth streaking her pale chest, meant to him what the red lines on his chest meant to her. Where she had braced her hands her nails would scratch, the blood rushing so close to the surface that she could hear it screaming in her ears, telling everyone that he was hers.

Why was she making do with a fantasy?

"Seth, stop that."

But he ignored her.

"Stop that right now and get up here and fuck me."

Well. It was true.

Seth did stop, blinked, then grinned wider than she had ever seen before. "What was that?"

"And take off your pants first."

He stood up, pants already undone, and let them fall to the floor. Just the sight of him was enough to get her heart pounding. There really was nothing in the world that could compare. He was all hard lines and sculpted muscle, thick thighs and huge hands and a slender waist that meant she had no choice, really, to be staring at his dick. And since she was not thinking anymore, she did not wonder about the physics of it all, even though he was big and she was small and—they would figure it out.

"Now come here."

Nessie made herself more comfortable on the pillows behind her, knowing that it was finally time. And she wasn't nervous, not really, well, not mostly, anyways—she did manage a smile when he lay on his side beside her.

"Am I allowed to ask a question first?" he asked as she turned to him.

She rolled her eyes but allowed it. The grin kept making her stomach tighten in strange ways.

His tongue traced the shell of her ear before he whispered: "You wanna be on top?"

Yes, her non-thinking brain almost automatically responded. Of course she wanted him underneath her, of course she wanted to control all the variables, of course she wanted to do everything she could to make him feel the way he could make her feel (of course she just wanted to make him beg). But, unfortunately, it just didn't seem very traditional.

So she shook her head and he nodded, because he had expected that response. "Remember what you promised," he said as he knelt between her legs. This time she wrapped her legs around his waist without hesitation as she kissed him deeply. Holding his eyes, she smiled, reaching between them.

He froze. "Do we need some sort of pro—?"

"No. Your immune system—"

"Save the biology lesson."

"Okay. Anything else?"

"I love you more when you're breathing," he reminded her gently. "Breath, Nessie. Breath."

She nodded, finding reassurance in the dark brown eyes, even if she couldn't seem to get her lungs to listen. It wasn't that she was hesitant or unsure just a little at loss without a point of experience remotely close to what was going to happen next. But she lifted her hips slightly, urging him on. With one last kiss he reassured her as best he could then—

Well.

Interesting.

He was panting slightly, muttering curses under his breath that she could barely make out, watching her carefully. It wasn't over, not yet, she knew as much, but Seth seemed a little afraid to move. Oh. Maybe she should exhale.

That helped him, because his hips moved and then she felt his pelvis against her and deep inside her she could feel him, especially the heat of him, her body on fire and he was the source. Nessie figured it was official now. She really wasn't a virgin.

It was more uncomfortable than even having his fingers inside her was, her body unused to the sensation. But vampire healing helped, she figured. Really, it was kind of disappointing how little it hurt. Something sharper might have been nice, so she could be sure that it had really happened.

Thankfully Seth was not privy to her inner tantrum, just withdrew a little and the pushed back into her. His eyes were glued to her face, worse than they usually were, watching for pain, she figured. So she put on a teasing grin instead.

"Is that all you've got?"

He groaned. It was much nicer when he was like this, when his chest was so close to her own, when they were together. She could feel the sound echoing inside her.

"Please," he growled, "Not this time. Not when…you have no idea how hot you are, do you?"

"You always find me attractive."

This time his hips moved rather forcefully, knocking the breath right out of her.

"It's like you were made for me," he murmured.

It was only then that she noticed the way he was clutching at the sheets beside her head. Bringing up everything she knew about their respective body temperatures probably wasn't the most romantic idea, so she tried something else.

"I was," she promised. "Body and soul and all my reincarnations."

"And you don't believe in any of that."

But he was moving within her now, still slowly, but a bit roughly and so firmly the air rushed out of her lungs each time like she was some kind of whore. Still, she kind of liked the sound. Even if it made replying impossible.

She believed she loved him. No, she knew that, knew that with more certainty than she had ever known anything (and she was always sure).

She loved him.

It was the only thought she seemed to have in her brain anymore, 'I love you' echoing inside of her now empty head. All she could think was that she had to keep touching him, had to keep running her hands over his shoulders or arms or neck or back or something. As the heat between them built until she couldn't stand it, until she wanted to beg him for something she didn't even know how to describe, she just knew she had to keep touching him.

When he buried his lips against her neck she could feel that it was different (mostly because she wasn't moaning quite so loudly anymore, just shaking faster) but that felt nice, too. Maybe she should do something more, but she couldn't quite figure it out when his lips were burning against her neck.

It made her feel almost too good, as she watched the vein in his neck twitch. He was gasping her name into her hair, telling her he had never felt anyone so good in his life as the vein throbbed in time to his thrusting hips—her fangs sank into his neck.

yes...

Seth tasted better than every animal she had ever tried, the blood bags Carlisle let her try, the blood Nahuel had once given her. Pulsating blood meant life and this was life the way she always wanted to live it. Fresh and powerful and Seth (optimistic and stubborn and sure and cheerful beyond all reason and oh did she love him for it).

His blood rushing through her made her lose it, whimpering and thrashing, refusing to give up her grip on his neck even as the rest of her body stopped obeying her commands. Even when he slammed into her harder than before it couldn't distract her from the sheer pleasure overwhelming her body. In fact, it just seemed to make everything worse, everything warmer than before as he went faster and said things and growled on top of her trembling body. It was as if a whole new world had opened up before them and he was laughing as he pulled her through.

Hmmm…so that was sex.

Eventually—minutes? Days?—she withdrew her teeth, licking the wound until it was healed to her satisfaction. Thank goodness for werewolf healing. Though he was keeping his weight off her, it was only when she finally withdrew her mouth for good that he rolled off of her properly.

"I didn't..." She turned on her side so she could study his face while he lay on his back, searching for signs of disgust or pain. "Did I hurt you?"

Seth seemed surprised for a second, then thoughtful as he actually considered. At least he shook his head.

"It just stings a little. I'll be fine."

"Good. I didn't mean to. I just..."

"You hear me complaining, Nessie? I know you liked it. I loved how much you liked it." She tentatively returned his smile. "It was totally worth it. I told you to, remember? You can do it again."

Swallowing was difficult, but she managed to choke out: "Good."

"Did I hurt you?"

"It just stings a little. I'll be fine."

When she sat up she felt sore between her legs, just a bit, but it didn't hurt. The discomfort was bearable. But when she glanced at the pristine white comforter, all she saw was some very wet fabric.

"There's no blood."

Seth shrugged. "You have gone through combat training with both Jacob and Jasper. Give your poor body a break, Nessie. We got blood on the sheets anyhow."

Oops.

Seeing the stain near the pillows, she brought a hand up to her cheek, realizing she had been a bit of a messy eater. She quickly licked the blood off her cheek, where it must have dribbled down, and from around her lips.

"Good," Seth said eventually, tugging her down on top of him. This time it felt different, having his naked body underneath hers. It felt almost like it was hers too—maybe she had been around the werewolves too long, but she felt that he was hers now in a way no one could ever take away. He kissed her for a second, but pulled away quickly.

"Sorry," he hurried to say, "But as much as I like you and the blood sucking, the taste does nothing for me."

"I hope you left some of the ice cream for me."

The ice cream was a melted puddle by this point, but she downed a bit of the liquid just to clean out her mouth. It tasted fine even if it was melted.

Seth was sitting up on the bed beside her, running a hand over her thigh and knee and down her shin before he settled for playing with her toes. Giggling, she leaned against him, let his arm wrap around her. His eyes were so loving she couldn't help but blush, so she covered by playing with his free hand, kissing the beloved finger tips.

"You know…" she mused, "I mean, I liked it. I...I want to do it again, if you don't mind?"

"I'll get back to you on that," he teased.

"But really...I still don't understand why you'd want to have sex twelve hours a day, seven days a week, fifty-two weeks a year."

"Who—oh. Your parents really have that much sex?"

"Of course."

"Shit. Edward really is a god."

Nessie rolled her eyes. "I still don't understand why they can't go one night without..."

Seth could only shrug.

They grinned at each other for a long while. Nessie had never seen him so still in his life, but she kind of liked this side of Seth, too. She really liked that most people didn't get to see it. Behind all the unbridled enthusiasm was an almost stoic certainty, faith in something she still didn't understand that allowed him to know that everything was simple and easy even when there was absolutely no logical reason for it to be so.

With just a grin Seth made her feel like maybe all the adoration heaped on her wasn't completely undeserved. Maybe she could bring more than danger and destruction to those she held most dear. No—there was no maybe. She could; she did. Whatever tensions still existed between werewolves and vampires she had united them.

They would make it work.

"I can't believe you waited until just before to ask if we needed protection," she muttered sometime later.

He shrugged. "You would have had it covered."

"True."

His immune system was far too powerful for him to catch anything, so it wasn't as if they had to worry about transmission. And since she wasn't fertile for another three months everything should be fine. That was fortunate, since human birth control pills wouldn't work on her and the birth rate in La Push suggested the werewolves didn't have much luck with them either.

"And you're thinking again," he murmured into her ear.

"I'm always thinking."

"True. It's one of the many reasons I love you. What is it this time?"

"You promise we'll talk every other night at the very least?"

And she hated how young she sounded just then.

"I promise, you goose," he said before he kissed her again. "We'll talk so much you'll be sick of me. And you'll come back for thanksgiving and then it'll be Christmas and…"

It was four years. She might have been a genius, but medical school took four years. How in the world was she supposed to be without him for four years?

"It'll work out," he promised.

And she was in love so she believed him.