TITANS FOREVER
CHAPTER FOUR: WHAT'S OURS IS MINE
The open floor plan in Titan Tower made its kitchen little more than a large section of what the blueprint called the commons, but what the Titans themselves just called the living room. Over their years of residence the Titans had become marginally better at keeping the kitchen clean, or rather keeping it from being a complete and utter mess. Rinsed but unwashed dishes filled merely half the sink, and the various countertops were only mildly dirty. Meals tended to be communal at the Tower, and the same held true for the cooking. And so it was a regular occurrence when the elevator doors dinged open and Cyborg walked in carrying a plate of freshly grilled steaks.
"WHO WANTS STEAK, BABY?" Cyborg asked as he set the massive platter on the counter. "We got TERIYAKI! BARBECUE! THAT GOOOD SWEET HONEY! CHIPOTLE! And, of course, ALL cooked to a tantalizing medium rare! MMM-MMM! I LOVE it!"
"Oooooh!" Starfire squealed excitedly as she stirred a massive bowl full of mysterious mush. She floated over to the platter and eyed the glistening meats, "I am most excited for the steaks of the teriyaki!"
"Nice choice," Cyborg nodded. "Not that there's a BAD choice here! I tenderized these babies last night, then bagged them with the sauce so that they soaked up all that delicious flavor for almost a WHOLE DAY before I even started grillin'."
"It's still just carcass, bruh!" Beast Boy shrugged near the oven. He put on oven mitts as the stove timer rang, then pulled out at huge pan of steaming casserole. "You want REAL cuisine? Take a look at my three-bean, spinach and asparagus casserole, yo! I got them bomb ranch mashed tatos in there too!"
"Oh good!" Cyborg made a show of whipping his brow in relief, "I was afraid you were gonna serve some of that nasty tofu again."
"Hey!" Beast Boy barked as he set his plate down on the counter well away from Cyborg's steak platter. "When are you gonna lay off the tofu?"
"When is tofu gonna stop bein' nasty?" Cyborg raised his human eyebrow. "I like veggies, bro, but you gotta treat 'em like actual veggies for them to be good! Ain't no sense in tryin' to make a bean taste like a burger!"
"Are you two ever going to stop having this argument?" Raven asked as she levitated a blackshining pitcher, pouring beverages.
Cyborg and Beast Boy gave Raven an incredulous look.
Raven sighed and said, "Didn't think so."
"Hey guys," Robin called as he walked in from the hallway. "Not late, am I?"
"Nearly," Raven droned as she levitated plates and silverware onto the counter.
"But not quite!" Starfire beamed as she set her mush-bowl down in between the steaks and the casserole.
"Where were you, man?" Cyborg asked. "You were supposed to be making desert!"
"Sorry, got caught up with work," Robin smiled and set a large folder he was carrying on the sofa table. "I'll buy us all desert later."
"Bruh," Beast Boy said, giving Robin's folder a tired look, "The 'No-Work-At-Meals' rule is kinda pointless if we know there's business directly after the meal."
"Rrright," Robin rubbed the back of his head as he walked into the kitchen space. "My bad. It's not anything urgent. I've just been going over the police report of their search through Mad Mod's latest lair. They just got it to me earlier today."
"Did they find anything interesting?" Raven asked.
"Hel-loooo?" Beast Boy threw his arms wide. "What part of 'No-Work-At-Meals' do you two not understand?"
"Only what we expected," Robin said to Raven, taking a seat at a counter stool. "A few different workshops; some for his androids, some for the time-machine itself, though they haven't actually managed to piece together that it was for a time machine. There was a drafting room that had the blueprints for the lair's strange design, but no evidence of where the unknown metallic alloy came from. There was also a small living quarters, with a bathroom every bit as tacky as you're all probably imagining."
"So it sounds like that's the end of it," Beast Boy groaned as he set down a fruit tray, "And that means we can stop with all this work talk and eat, right?"
"The mysteries of space and time unraveled by a criminal mad man and all Beast Boy's concerned about is food," Raven droned. "What else is new?"
"What?" Beast Boy asked, "I'm hungry, mama!"
"Then let's dig in!" Cyborg smiled and loaded up his plate with no less than four steaks (one of each flavor.) Beast Boy eschewed the steaks altogether and opted instead for extra helpings of veggie casserole. The rest of the Titans gathered more balanced meals onto their own plates. Starfire squeeze out a small dish full of mustard, but before she could dip anything in it five alarms chorused in sync, one from each of the Titans' communicators. Of note, the Tower alarm did not go off, signaling that there was not an emergency in progress. Still, Beast Boy's reaction to the crime alert was swift and furious. Beast Boy hitched his communicator off his belt, flipped open the screen, and bellowed as a half-gorilla:
"NO WORK AT MEAAAALS!"
"Stop it!" Raven swatted his communicator to the ground. Cyborg and Starfire both started eating their meals at a rapid pace.
Robin flipped open his own communicator, cleared his throat apologetically, and said, "Hello, Detective Slack. What can we do for you?"
A red tinted visage peered out from darkness on Robin's communicator screen. Detective Slack had a long face and a tight buzzcut. He cocked an eyebrow at Robin and asked, "Is this a bad time?"
"It's never a bad time for justice, Detective," Robin answered. "What's going on?"
One edge of the detective's mouth twitched up in a small smile, "Nothing urgent, of course, but we've got a set of robberies that I think are going to end up your alley. So I thought I'd skip as much of the song and dance as possible and just cut right to letting you know."
Beast Boy grumbled at this as Cyborg finished off his eighth steak and Starfire went back for seconds of everything. Raven chewed a small forkful of casserole.
"We appreciate it," Robin nodded. "What are the facts of the case?"
"Well," Detective Slack's red-lit face frowned on the communicator screen. "My squad and I are out in Register Heights, used to be Turing Hill?"
"Right," Robin nodded. "A high class residential area just below the tech sector. Changed owners and got an upgrade late last year."
"Exactly," Slack nodded. His red face blipped off the screen and the view of a bare room replaced it. "I'm currently standing in 155 Register Heights, the summer home of Mr. Augustus Freeman out of Dakota City, Illinois. I understand that this was a rather lavishly furnished home, but as you can see now it's completely empty. Mr. Freeman is currently out of state, but called to inform us of the robbery in spite of that. Though the robber did not set off any alarms, Mr. Freeman apparently noticed his property missing when he checked in via hidden cameras, which he tells us he does every day."
"I see," Robin's eyemask narrowed. "But the cameras didn't pick up the intruder?"
"That's just it," Slack's voice took on a frank edge. "The cameras weren't there to check in on. Robin, this place has been picked clean. I mean there isn't a single scrap of clothing, furniture, anything. There's not even a damn fork in the kitchen or toilet paper in the bathroom. The lightbulbs are all gone. And we've picked up absolutely no trace of our culprit. But that's not the weirdest part."
Cyborg chugged a gallon of milk loudly in his desperation to finish his meal. Starfire had forgone utensils entirely and now poured her own mystery mush directly into her mouth out of the bowl. Beast Boy had joined in the frenzied dinner and now munched on half of the fruit tray inside of chimpanzee cheeks. Raven rinsed her dish quietly in the background. Robin nodded for the detective to continue.
"This wasn't the only robbery like this today in Register Heights," Slack said, "About fifteen minutes after we got here, we get word of another hit just a few streets over. The Pugsleys of 213 Register Heights had spent the afternoon shopping at the Soto Strip. When they left, their house was full of more than a million in hard cash, another million in gold and precious gems, and what they assure us is over three million dollars worth of other assets. And, just like Mr. Freeman's place, it looked as if it had never even been lived in. And the real kicker is that Register Heights is a gated community. The guards didn't let anyone in out of the ordinary and the video at the gate doesn't show anything unusual."
"And you've checked their roofs and yards for signs of landing and takeoff?" Robin asked.
The communicator screen blipped back to Detective Slack's rather amused expression, "Look, I know I wasn't trained by the Bat, but I am a detective in the Jump City Police Department. I'm not Barney Fife over here. My men and I have dealt with anti-grav, hoverbikes, jetpacks, self-powered flight, you name it. We couldn't find anything."
"Of course," Robin nodded with a grin. "You're right, it sounds like a job for the Titans. We're lucky they sent you out on this call, Detective. Robberies aren't normally your thing."
"These victims are rather high profile," Slack said. "The Chief wants this over quick."
"Right," Robin grinned. "Sit tight, Detective. The Titans will be there inside of 15."
Slack's red lit face nodded as Robin shut and pocketed his communicator. "Okay guys- whoa."
Robin's eyemask went wide at the sight before him.
"Wwwwwuuuuhhh," Cyborg moaned as he leaned over the counter, his face a portrait of shame done in whole milk and steak sauce. He gripped his bulging robotic gut with both hands.
"Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!" Starfire grunted as she used her prehensile tongue to lick the steak platter clean.
Beast Boy ape-screeched as he tore through the fridge for more food.
Raven stood to the side sipping on a small glass of ice water.
"And now I remember why we have the 'No-Work-At-Meals' rule," Robin said as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Don't say it," Cyborg whispered, his voice trembling with the effort, staring at Robin with puppy-dog eyes.
Robin gave Cyborg a rueful grin as he slid off his stool and said, "Titans! Go!"
"Noooooo," Cyborg tremble-whispered to himself, closing his eyes in regret as his stomach gurgled.
Still, Cyborg rose from the table, as did the other Titans, and they made their way out into the city with an ease born from years of practice. Starfire, Raven and Beast Boy all took to the evening sky, rising with an updraft of warm beach air to soar over the towering glass buildings of Jump City. Cyborg and Robin rode the elevator down at high-speed to the garage. They were each in their vehicles and roaring out into the city in a matter of seconds. Like a nerve signal to the brain, the news spread across Jump City in a few short moments; the Titans were in the skies and on the streets. As the Titans passed people tried snapping pictures from walkways and leaned from their apartment windows to take video. The talented ones managed to catch blurs of color. Many did not need to see the Titans or receive a notification to realize that they were on the move. Both the T-Car and the R-Cycle had devices that manipulated the city's traffic lights to help them move more swiftly and safely through the streets, and though the effects on civilian traffic were minor, their ripples were felt and recognized by commuters in the coming minutes as traffic adapted to accommodate the heroes.
The Titans beamed through the city in a loose formation that one would have needed a birds eye view to appreciate. Around them Jump City shifted from the heaven-grasping glass of the business district to the concrete monoliths of the tech sector. Many of the tech sector skyscrapers still gleamed and glistened, having their fair share of reflective glass, but here they reflected neon signs and LED billboards as much as they did sunlight. As the Titans moved South, the cityscape opened up slightly, and in a small neighborhood just off a high-class shopping center, Register Heights rested on top of a hill. Robin's voice buzzed through their communicators as the Titans approached the walled community.
"Alright Titans, if Detective Slack didn't uncover any evidence at the scenes of the crime, then there's unlikely to be much evidence there. That means we start with the surrounding area. Star, sky eye the place. Look in particular for signs of egress. Beast Boy, inspect the wall for any breaches or modifications. Cyborg, scan for irregular energy signatures and monitor local communications for anything out of the ordinary. Raven, see if there's any magical interference at play. I'll meet with Slack and coordinate our efforts."
The other's Titans buzzed Robin back.
"You got it, man."
"Understood!"
"Right."
"CAW!"
The R-Cycle made a sharp turn off the street and onto the Register Heights drive. Robin's cape settled to his back as he slowed and waved at the guard booth. They waved back and opened the gate. Robin sped through the gate as soon as there was a wide enough birth and tore through the private roads of Register Heights. In a matter of seconds he came to a stop in front of a building that was surrounded by space armored police officers. Hulking police transports occupied the road in front of the house and the officers themselves mulled about the expansive yard and upscale residence. They had their ion rifles strapped magnetically to their backs and their red-lit visors recorded everything they saw. Each officer's armor had a badge on the shoulder that display a single number. Most were 4s and 5s. Robin dismounted and removed his helmet, hanging it on one of the R-Cycle's handlebars. The young hero walked directly passed the police officers without hesitation, drawing some glances and muffled comments along the way. When Robin entered the house he immediately spied an officer with a shoulder badge bearing the number 8. Other than this number, the officer appeared indistinguishable from the rest.
"Detective Slack," said Robin, walking towards the officer with the 8 on his shoulder.
"Robin," Slack's voice buzzed through his helmet. "I'm feeling better already."
"I take it your men have been canvassing witnesses?" Robin asked.
"Of course," Slack nodded. "Although searching for witnesses is more like it. No one seems to have noticed anything."
"I see," Robin nodded. He looked around the interior of 155 Register Heights. "You weren't kidding, Detective. This place looks like the burglars might have even deep cleaned it before they left."
"I've never seen anything quite like it," Slack admitted.
"The other home," Robin crossed his arms. "The Pugsleys, you said they were gone shopping. How long were they out?"
"Roughly three and a half hours," Slack answered.
"So that's the maximum amount of time our culprit could have taken to complete his crime," Robin pinched his chin.
"Right," Slack nodded. "But of course that's ridiculous. Not only gathering everything in a house, but moving it unseen, and covering your tracks without a trace? Any one of those alone would take more than three hours."
"Maybe," Robin's eyemask narrowed.
"You know something," Slack observed.
"I hope not," Robin frowned and pulled out his communicator. "Cyborg?"
Cyborg's face lit up on the screen from his position in the T-Car's driver's seat. "Sup?"
"Any readings yet?" Robin asked.
"Nothing out of the ordinary," Cyborg shook his head. "And so far nobody's talking about anything unusual either."
"And you did check for gamma-radio confluences?" Robin asked.
Cyborg's expression shifted slightly. Detective Slack noticed. Cyborg couldn't keep a conspiratorial tone out of his voice as he answered, "Yeah, that was one of the first things I checked for. Nadda."
"Right," Robin nodded. "Thanks. Keep me posted."
"You got it, man." Cyborg nodded.
Robin closed his communicator and pursed his lips.
"Gamma-radio confluences?" Detective Slack asked.
"Would have suggested time dilation," Robin explained briefly, pocketing his communicator and moving deeper into the house. Detective Slack watched Robin for a moment before following after him.
"Tell me about Augustus Freeman," Robin asked as they entered a spotless and empty kitchen. Gaps for the missing stove and refrigerator filled the kitchen with a stark vacuity.
"He's forty-five years old and a successful civil rights lawyer. Despite representing clients nationwide and having the funds to live anywhere, Mr. Freeman keeps his permanent residence in his hometown of Dakota City. Also, guy's built like a linebacker."
"And the Pugsleys?"
Slack shrugged, "Trust-fund cases. They're both children of successful careermen who took smart stock options. Jump City natives. She's a mediocre artist. He's a day-trading whale who likes to pump and dump cryptos in his free time, writes a blog about it."
"Do the Pugsleys and Mr. Freeman share a history?" Robin asked.
"No," Slack shook his helmeted head, the red light of his visor tinting the room around them. "They don't tend to run in the same social circles either, especially since Mr. Freeman only stays in this house for a week or two out of the year, so I'm not seeing much in the way of mutual enemies."
"Hmm," Robin crossed his arms.
"Robin?" Starfire's voice buzzed out of his communicator.
"What is it Star?" Robin answered.
"I believe I have found the point of egress for the culprits." Starfire said, framed on the screen by the evening sky. She held up a delicate golden chain necklace with a diamond pendent. "I discovered this in a large alleyway nearly a half mile northeast of the Register Heights. The alley sits behind a market that is in the process of renovation, and possess a clearly widened sewer grate. It also shows other signs of recent activity, such as the footprints and other markings. I believe the burglars became careless once they believed themselves to be far enough away from the scene of their crime."
"Good work, Star!" Robin grinned. "Have the others rendezvous at your location. I'll be there shortly."
"Understood," Starfire smiled and signed off.
"You Titans work fast as ever," Slack commented. "But it's strange that they'd be meticulous enough to avoid leaving even the smallest of traces, and then just leave a piece of loot laying around their escape hatch."
"Might be a trap," Robin conceded. "But this is Jump City."
"Point taken," Slack nodded. "So what, maybe it's a group of thugs who've managed to get their hands on some sort of power or device that covers their tracks for them, and then once they deactivate it they're just your usual sloppy criminals?"
"That could be part of it," Robin shrugged. "But it doesn't account for the speed factor-"
"Detective Slack!" another officer rushed into the kitchen, cutting Robin off.
"What is it, Daniels?" Slack asked.
"There's been another hit!" the officer said. "But not here in Register Heights. Apartment 857 of the East Wayne Highrise!"
"That's halfway across the city," Slack growled.
"And that changes things," Robin's eyemask narrowed. He produced his communicator and a four way split screen of his team lit up the display. "Alright Titans, there's been another hit, this one in the Wayne Highrises. Starfire, Raven, I want you to investigate that incident. Keep an eye out for more points of egress. Cyborg and Beast Boy, meet me at the original rendezvous point. I'm on my way."
Robin pocketed his communicator as the other Titans sounded off. Turning to Detective Slack, Robin said, "You may want to call in back up. Considering the rate at which these robberies are being uncovered, I doubt our thieves are done tonight. Keep me up to date on any new incidents."
"Roger," Slack nodded to the Titan and turned to give orders to his subordinate.
Robin blurred out of the house and mounted his bike in a split second. He flew back through the residential roads the way he had come and not did not even bother to wait for the gate, instead hitting a booster that launched the R-Cycle some twelve feet in the air over the gate. Robin pulled and pressed in a precise fashion, causing the R-Cycle to twist-turn in mid air so that he landed respositioned on the street, and sped directly towards his destination. Not even a minute had passed by the time Robin came to a swerving stop in the designated alleyway. Cyborg and Beast Boy already stood away from the T-Car, inspecting a sewer grate.
"What've we got?" Robin asked, approaching his teammates..
"Not a lot," Cyborg said, looking up from his forearm display. "Not picking up any radiation or even any chemical emissions aside from the norm. There is something weird about the footprints, though."
Robin looked down and found a cluster of footprints left in the dust and dirt in the alleyway. After a split second of scanning, Robin announced, "They're all the same size."
"Yeah," Beast Boy frowned, "And I can't be hundred percent sure, y'know, with the old-town sewer right here and everything, but I'm only picking up one dude's scent."
"Hmm," Robin knelt to inspect the prints, "A single culprit? That suggests superspeed, but the arrangement of the footprints don't match that sort of movement."
"Yeah, but get this, they're not just on the ground," Cyborg pointed to the wall of the nearest building. Robin squinted and saw the vague outline of the same bootprint set into the sheer cement, pointing down.
"Strange," Robin's eyemask narrowed.
Three alarms went off, one from each of the present Titans' communicators. They each answered the call, finding Detective Slack's red-lit face staring out at them from inside the darkness of his helmet.
"We've got more already," Slack growled, his face bordering on miserable. "Two more calls at the Wayne Highrises, one at the Wolfman Estates, and one at the Glens."
"That's not good," Cyborg frowned.
"And you can bet there will be more at both the Glens and the Wolfman Estates," Robin frowned. "What about the victims? Any pattern yet?"
"Just that they were either out of town or out for the evening," Slack sighed, his face looking weathered. "Our total now is seven robberies in less than forty-five minutes, totaling tens of millions stolen, and the frequency is increasing at a rapid pace. The topic is trending now, and HQ tells me that JNN is already calling them. This is starting to spiral out of control."
"Don't worry, detective," Robin said. "They're fast, but like you said, the Titans are fast too. They might have a head start, but I promise you we'll catch whoever's behind this before they can skip town with their ill-gotten goods."
"Oh," Slack gave a tired smile, "I don't doubt that, Robin. I'm just dreading how much paperwork all this is going to cause."
A grin cut across Robin's face, "Right. Keep at it, detective. We'll let you know as soon as we find anything."
Slack nodded and his image blipped off the communicator screen, replaced by a four-way between all five Titans. Robin wasted no time, "Raven, I want you to stay at the Wayne Highrises, keep looking for an egress. Cyborg will head to the Glens, I'll go to the Wolfman Estates. Starfire, I want you to go to the Premiani neighborhood. It matches the previous targets in terms of wealth. Let's see if we can't get ahead of whoever's doing this."
"What about me?" Beast Boy asked, peeking anxiously at Robin over his communicator.
"We need someone to follow our first lead," Robin said, giving his green friend a stoic expression.
"Figures," Beast Boy's ears drooped as he eyed the sewer drain.
"Alright Titans, let's do this!" Robin said as he dashed towards his bike once more and zoomed off into the city, Cyborg not even a second behind him in the T-Car. Beast Boy watched forlornly on his communicator screen as Starfire began blurring through the skies before her feed cut off as well. Raven stared at him, deadpan, from the circular screen. A highrise loomed in the background of her image.
"Heh. Don't suppose there's any chance you wanna trade?" Beast Boy asked, his ears perking up weakly as he forced a smile.
Raven smirked ever-so-slightly, "Good luck, Beast Boy."
The communicator screen went dark. Beast Boy dog-whined as his ears went limp. The green teen turned and drug his feet over to the sewer grate. Crouching down, Beast Boy gripped the grate and pulled it up out of the ground.
"Suuure," Beast Boy frowned as he tossed the grate aside, leaving it to clang to rest in the alleyway. "Send the guy with like a billion percent smelling power down into the sewer. Cuz that's not cruel and unusual!"
Beast Boy hopped down through the grate and landed on a dark, dank bit of concrete next to a murky river of storm water and brown muck. The rancid, almost metallic reek of it blasted him in the face.
"Hhuhhh," Beast Boy sighed. "I can't believe half the city still uses these old things! Haven't they ever heard of pipes? Man, whatever dessert Robin's buying later, he's totally getting me double."
Beast Boy looked up one end of the sewer and down the other, then shifted into a cat. His eyes widened and reflected brightly in the low-light, allowing him to see a traveled path down one end of the sewer tunnel. Meowing triumphantly, the green cat bounded swiftly down the path, its undulating sprint soon morphing into the laser-straight buzz of a green dragonfly. The insect diligently followed the sewer path, twisting and turning with the various offshoots and forks. After some time, the dragonfly noticed a glinting in the dimness. The insect settled on another dropped bit of jewelry, this time a diamond ring. Taking flight once more, the insect noticed other riches lying amongst the filth: an expensive sports coat, an exotic evening dress, an antique davenport, and a scattered trail of hundred dollar bills all marked the way forward. Beast Boy morphed into a green rabbit and silently scampered after the trail as it swerved away from the river of muck and down into an opening that lead to what Beast Boy recognized as a part of the city's old subway system. Beast Boy's large rabbit ears picked up the sound of voices and his eyes adjusted to a quickly brightening light as he came into the hoard proper. Darting between opulent bits of furniture, piles of rich clothing and accessories, and outright huge stacks of money, Beast Boy silently observed the culprit, his rabbit eyes narrowing in recognition.
"Put that portrait over by the gold bar pyramid, Billy!" "I was just thinkin' the same thing, Billy!" "You Billies are plum crazy! It looks WAY better next to the stuffed grizzly bear!" "Can somebilly give me a hand with this recliner? I wanna put it on top of the money pile!" "I gotchu, Billy!" "Why are you wearin' that weddin' dress Billy?" "Cuz it makes me feel pretty, Billy!" "Fair enough, Billy." "You Billies would not believe what they had in their fridge!" "That just looks like a sandwich, Billy." "A peanut butter and caviar sandwich, Billy!" "Hah! Nice one, Billy! Is it any good?" "Not a bit, Billy, but it's daggum fancy!" "Heads up, everybilly! We got some Billies comin' in with more stuff!"
Beast Boy morphed into a mouse and skittered underneath a set of high-end golf clubs, watching intently as the red-jump-suited clones all moved out of the way for the storm of humanity that raged into the abandoned station. The process was blindingly fast and incredibly precise, and Beast Boy only managed to follow it because of his previous familiarity with the duplicative powers of Billy Numerous. A wave of Billies came stretching into the station like a rail-gun, cloning themselves at high speed with their signature bwoop noise sounding off rapid fire. A half-ton vault safe blurred on top of the Billy-wave, each clone touching it for the merest second to help group-pass it forward, and then un-cloning into the next nearest Billy the way that two mercury bubbles join together. The brief group-passings were enough to keep the safe moving forward at great momentum. As the Billy-wave came into the station proper, they cloned-up into a massive cluster ahead of the safe. The safe immediately crashed into the cluster with resounding force, but the mass of Billies acted as an impressively effective cushion. Each crushed Billy un-cloned into the next whole Billy, with new replacement Billies being cloned in the back of the cluster with nigh-mechanical efficiency until the safe had settled onto the station floor. At that point the crowd of Billies all melded back into a single Billy who clapped the dust off his hands in a satisfied fashion. The whole process had taken less than a second.
Beast Boy watched in awe as several more Billy-waves rushed in at blinding speed, carrying ever expanding wealth into the already overstuffed hoard. One after another the clone waves blurred and roiled, leaving only treasure in their wake. After the last bit of loot had been deposited, one last mass of Billies came teeming into the station, and Beast Boy's mousy eyes widened in realization. The final mass of Billies were cleaning at high speeds, cloning and un-cloning at the same rail-gun pace, and cleaning with the same machine-like group efficiency as the previous waves. As Beast Boy skittered his way back into the hidden depths of the stolen hoard, all the Billies gathered around their most recent spoils, hooping and hollering like kids at Christmas.
"Hooo doggies! Is that a Rembrandt?" "Shucks, Billy, like we'd know know a Rembrandt from a Rockwell!" "Shoot, I didn't even understand that reference, Billy!" "Alrighty! More money for the money pile!" "Billy you are obsessed with the money pile! You know we're gonna have to pack it all up nice to move it!" "Ooooh, somebilly's sour! Betchu ain't tooken the sled down the money pile!" "...We gotta sled?" "Hey now, is that double ply? We're sortin' poop-paper by lotions! And keep the bulbs separated by watts! Toss them sissy green bulbs out! We're a villain dagnabit, we don't care none 'bout no energy crisises!"
Beast Boy morphed back into his normal form once he felt sufficiently secluded within the deep-clutter of Billy's spoils. He flipped open his communicator only to find a blank screen with the words 'no signal' blinking indifferently at him. Beast Boy's eyes popped open at the sight. His ears fell backward and he shook the communicator as violently as he could inside the confines of his hiding space. When this accomplished nothing Beast Boy slapped the tiny machine against his free hand, but this too proved fruitless. Growling under his breath, Beast Boy adopted a new strategy. With a few clicks on the miniature keyboard the screen switched to a live-feed recorder. Beast Boy set the feed to broadcast to the other four Titans, but the connections all stalled and failed to complete. Shrugging to himself, Beast Boy wriggled his lithe green body up through the mass of Billy's opulent squalor and carefully perched his communicator on the shoulder an armless marble statue. That accomplished, Beast Boy shrank down in a diminished blur of green and disappeared beneath the wash of wealth.
A Billy cried the warning of more incoming Billies, and the jump-suited clone-rabble high-stepped out of the way. Red rubber waves rail-gunned into the abandoned station one after another, depositing even more loot with crash-cushioned precision. Bringing up the rear was a wave of cleaning Billies, making sure that nothing was left behind. But before the other Billies could swarm their latest goodies, the new Billies stopped them dead in their tracks.
"WHOA THERE, EVERYBILLY!" "WE GOTTA PROBLEM!" "Whatchu on about, Billies?" "It's the Titans! They're on our trail!" "What?" "How?" "But we got this figured like clockwork!" "We ain't sure, Billies, but the alien was there at the Premiani town!" "Billy's right! She caught onto us just as we was high-tailin' it outta the Maroni Mansion!" "We got away 'acourse, but we gotta call in the other Billies and get to gettin' 'fore the Titans make our heist!" "Well, you Billies heard Billy! Let's round it all up!" "Aw maaaan, and I just found the sled!"
The various bodies of Billy Numerous went to work. Each Billy cloned out into multiple branches towards specific piles of loot and began group-packing the treasure into more secure and condensed housing: crates, suitcases, and large boxes that the Billies produced from the corners of the abandoned station. Half a dozen Billies rolled up in as many straight-trucks, reverse-beeping in tandem with their mouths. As the packing-circus kicked into high-gear, one single Billy skidded to a stop at the edge of the station. That Billy peered through goggled eyes down the passageway into the old sewer and caught a glimpse of something shiny.
"HOLD IT!" Billy hollered, and the others all paused mid-action. Without even taking a step, the far Billy cloned-and-uncloned in rapid succession towards the shiny object. This covered a nearly thirty-yard gap in a fraction of a second with a series of machine-gun bwoops. A single Billy knelt and picked up a glinting, diamond encrusted wristwatch out of the dingy dust of the sewer space. Billy turned his head and noticed a trail of stolen goods leading back up the sewer. Billy frowned before exploding into a small Billy-wave and rushing up and down the sewer trail, then rolling back into the station and throwing the dropped goods on the floor. The Billy-wave coalesced back into a single body and cursed at the other Billies before him.
"JUST WHADDYA BILLIES THINK YER PLAYIN' AT? THERE WAS A WHOLE MESSA LOOT OUT THERE! DAGNABBIT, WHICHA YOU BILLIES DID THIS?"
"Uuhhh," one Billy stepped forward, wringing his hands nervously, "I think I came from some Billies that came that way, and yeah, I think summa them mighta forgot to do their cleanin', heh."
The Billies erupted into exclamatory fury:
"THIS IS THE ARTY BILLIES FAULT! I TOLD Y'ALL THAT FANCY LEARNIN' WEREN'T NO GOOD! TOO BUSY TALKIN' BOUT PAINTERS AND NOT FOCUSIN' ON THE JOB!" "YOU ARE OUTTA YER MIND, BILLY! THIS IS CLEARLY THE HUNGRY BILLIES DOIN'! RUMMAGIN' THROUGH THEM FRIDGES AND NOT PAYIN' NO MIND TO NOTHIN' ELSE!" "OH NUH UH, BILLY! I BLAME OUR OBSESSIVE SIDE! LOOK AT THEM BILLIES OVER THERE SORTIN' TOILET PAPER ALPHABETICALLY! THAT JUST AIN'T RIGHT IN THE MIND!" "OH COME ON NOW, BILLY! IF WE WANNA TALK ABOUT BEIN' CRAZY, WE GOTTA BLAME OUR CROSS-DRESSIN' IMPULSES!"
"HEY NOW!" a Billy in a wedding dress held up a defensive finger, "THAT IS UNCALLED FOR!"
"COME ON, EVERYBILLY!" a single Billy hollered above the ruckus, "WE AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THIS RIGHT NOW! WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE 'FORE THE TITANS SHOW UP!"
"Too late, yo!" a non-Billy voice echoed through the abandoned station, causing all the Billies to jump and look around for the source of the sound. Before they could hone in on their target, a green rhinoceros exploded out of one of their piles of treasure and stampeded over an unsuspecting row of Billies. The gored and trampled Billies neither broke nor bled under the animal's savage assault, but instead blurred and melded back into the nearest whole Billy as they were destroyed.
"IT'S THE SKINWALKER!" "SIC 'EM, BILLIES!"
Beast Boy spun green back into his normal form as a circle of ever expanding Billies rushed him from all sides. Beast Boy crouched down and grinned before leaping forward into the fray as a hulking silverback gorilla. The ape roared, fangs flashing, as it charged forward into the red mass, swatting and kicking and biting Billies with impulsive enthusiasm. For their part, the Billies tried to tackle and wrestle the green ape, but Beast Boy's vicious speed and ecstatic violence defied their attempts to do so, with a few Billies clinging helplessly to the gorilla's thick limbs as it blitzed through their ranks.
"DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!""DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!""DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!" "DOGPIIILE!"
The cry multiplied in an unnatural fashion as a tower of Billies cloned themselves upward some dozens of feet in an instant, stopping just short the station's ceiling before diving forward like a tidal wave on top of Beast Boy's rampaging form. The changeling noticed the cry as a great shadow covered him. Turning towards these sensations, Beast Boy's eyes bulged as the wall of flesh descended towards him with a collective, "YEEEEE-HAW!" At the last second, the great ape transformed into a tiny, jeweled humming bird and darted out of harm's way. As the tidal wave of Billies crashed into a large swathe of their standing cohort, the green humming bird bee-lined over above another group of Billies and unceremoniously morphed into a narwhal whale, rocking the station and flattening many Billies as he landed.
These twin collapses left a great amount of clones blurring back into a much smaller number of Billies. Beast Boy changed back into himself and posed smugly, pointing a finger at the remaining clones and making sure to face his recording communicator across the way.
"Give it up, Billy Numerous!" Beast Boy shouted. "You ain't no match for me, fool! My kung fu is straawwwwng!"
"Tch!" one Billy stepped forward as the others began duplicating behind him, more than replacing the lost clones. "In yer dreams! Billy Numerous ain't even begun to fight!"
Beast Boy leered defiantly as the clones continued their expansion and encircled him once again. He snubbed his nose and then held out a beckoning hand, saying, "Lez DANCE then, BABAAAY!"
The Billies let out a communal cry as they charged the green Titan. As they broke close proximity, some of them jumped and dove through the air at their prey, while others slid in to take out his ankles, and many came at mid-height with thrown fists and barging shoulders. Beast Boy did not even blink, and at the last second transformed, his huge new frame causing all the Billies to fly back with great force. The meaty swing of a gigantic green limb swept a swathe of Billies aside like a broom does dust, and a two-ton clawed step turned a Billy into blurring mush. The clone-charge ceased as they all stumbled and stepped back, gaping at their opponent as he reared back his reptilian head and let loose a primordial call.
"RRRAAAAAAAAUUUGH!" the tyrannosaurus cry shook through the subway station and echoed out into the Jump City underground, causing pedestrians throughout the area to pause and stare at their nearby sewer-grates in curiosity. Before his opponent could gather his senses, Beast Boy charged forward. The Jurassic hero fought like a horror-story in motion; all swiping tail, crushing talons and the serrated guillotine of his dread bite ever-chomping. The Billies were unprepared for such an assault, and fell before the Titan much as worms fall prey to a hungry rooster. The villain was bowled back in a blurred tide of uncloning corpses and terrified southern accents.
With a great whooshing of emptied air, the Billies all compressed into a single body, which then caught itself and slid to a stop on the concrete floor. The tyrannosaurus licked its chops with an angled tongue and stared at the lone man with slitted eyes. Billy snorted and set his face into a determined frown. Still in a single body, Billy sprinted towards his monstrous opponent, letting loose a constant cry of "BILLAAAAAAAAAAY!" With a mighty lurch the villain leapt high into the air, and his cry changed as his voice multiplied "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!" "NUMEROOUUUUUUUS!"
Beast Boy lunged forward, his terrible jaws gnashing, and hit the flying clone-swarm head-on. Scores of the gored and mauled blur-bled back into their brothers. Flailing bodies showered the ancient beast, many falling off its scaled form and crashing to the ground below, but more managing to grasp hold of the reptilian monster. Beast Boy flexed and thrashed and roared, snapping his jaws and stomping his feet and shaking his humongous body in an attempted to fight off the human-carrion that clung to his body. The Billies held fast and began attacking in a display of haphazard acrobatics. Billy-towers cloned upward to deliver constant far-falling body-blows to Beast Boy's back, neck, and head. Other Billies gripped onto giant joints and limbs, holding other Billies by the hands and helping them swing massive full-body kicks into the Titan's weakpoints. And all over in other spots Billies simply punched and kicked and tore and bit into the green hide of their target. The great beast gave a cry of pain and frustration before shrinking back down in a diminishing wash of green. The Billies hung in weightless freefall for a split moment before crashing to the ground in a mass collective, but this was not enough to give Beast Boy relief. Before he could morph into another animal, a fist caught him across the face. Then another found his gut. A kick took out his knee and he fell to the floor. The Billies closed in on their prey, raining down blows and strikes as the hero curled into the fetal position. A manic energy filled the Billies and the rate and savagery of their blows began to increase, but before they could work themselves up into a true bloodlust, they found themselves without a victim.
"WHAT'N TARNATION?" "WHERE IN SAM-HELL DID HE GO?" "IS HE A FLY? A MOUSE?" "EVERYBILLY LOOK AROUND! STAY ON YER TOES!"
The Billies spread out and searched for a matter of several seconds, but as they found nothing, one Billy brought them back to task.
"Alright, Billies! Stay on the look out for the shapeshifter, but we gotta get this swag outta here! Remember, his buddies are on to us too, and they could show up at any second! Let's get a move on!" "Billy's right, y'all! Everybilly lend a hand!" "Lez giter done, Billies!"
With that said, the Billies resumed their packing and in a few short minutes they had organized their entire night's haul and loaded it onto a nearby subway train. One Billy made his way to the head of the subway and, donning a conductor's hat, hollered, "AALLL ABOOOOOOARD!" The train buzzed to life, flickering as electricity passed through long dormant wires. The subway inched forward and quickly built speed until it had left the station entirely, zooming down magnetic rails to destinations unknown. As the subway left, the overhead lights in the station turned off with a loud chung. For several long, quiet minutes the station lay abandoned and nigh-spotless, with little to show that it had just been the scene of a clandestine treasure-hoard, let alone a dinosaur battle. However, the station did not remain empty for long. Over the course of a few minutes each of the four remaining Titans converged on this point one by one, with Robin bringing up the rear.
The Boy Wonder dashed into the station, cape flapping behind him and bo-staff at the ready, but as he saw his comrades through the darkness he cantered down to a stroll and returned his weapon to its place in his utility belt. Cyborg knelt down near the magnet tracks, his blue circuitry gleaming in the dim murk of the underground. His red eye smoldered as he scanned the area around him, a stern look on his face. Starfire floated higher up in the station, using a small starbolt to see by, searching for clues. Robin recognized a patch of shadow darker than the rest as Raven, levitating in the center of the room and meditating.
"Report," said Robin.
"They were here," Starfire said, concern budding in her voice.
"But not anymore," Cyborg grumbled as he stood from the tracks and turned to face Robin. Cyborg tossed something through the air. The item tumbled through the darkness as a flashing light and a buzzing noise. Robin caught the item deftly and found it to be Beast Boy's communicator, playing back the video of his battle with Billy Numerous. Robin's eyemask narrowed as the video showed Beast Boy's knee getting kicked out and a group of Billies clamoring over him.
"We are bad friends," Starfire wilted, touching down near Robin. "We allowed Beast Boy to fall alone against an enemy!"
"Beast Boy disappeared," Raven spoke from the deeper darkness. Her tone held a perfect balance. "He didn't get captured or broken. He's probably fine."
Cyborg frowned as he took a large step up out of the railway and onto the station platform. His voice brimmed with a just-contained intensity. "Beast Boy lost a fight, and now he's MIA without his communicator. That's not fine."
"True," Raven conceded, her tone still utterly even.
Robin pocketed Beast Boy's communicator and addressed the team, "We all know Beast Boy's come through on far worse situations than this. Still, we need to locate him. I'm betting that we will when we find Numerous."
"Agreed," Starfire's luminescent eyes nodded in the black. "He has likely transformed himself into a minuscule creature and done the stowing away on one of the Billy Numerous's persons."
"We're sure he's not somewhere in this room," Cyborg asked, looking at Raven. "Hurt and tiny and hidden and waiting for us to help him?"
"I'd sense him," Raven said with calm certainty. "He's not here."
"Alright then," Cyborg nodded with finality. "You don't see it in the video, but Numerous used the old subway system to escape. The tracks are still radiating low levels of heat and free ions. We could try to chase him down, but I say we get the drop on him at his destination."
"Good idea," Robin nodded. "I take it you know where he's going to be?"
"I do," Cyborg pressed a button on his forearm display and a holographic projection of Jump City lit up the darkness. "The magnetic rails are siphoning energy out of the city's powergrid in order to function. Looks like Billy's been learning new tricks again. Fortunately for us, each section of the rail is being powered by a different local substation. Therefore, we can track him by following the series of power surges. Considering the path he's been taking so far, there's only one place he's headed."
"The docks," Robin frowned, following the holographic illustration. "He's going to try and make a seaward escape."
"Good," Raven said, a slight inflection entering her voice, "He'll be a sitting duck in the bay."
"Indeed," Starfire nodded, her own voice hardening.
"At this time of the evening there's a lot of loose traffic in the harbor," Robin frowned. "And we don't know where he's going to try and move his goods to. Could be well out of the city, could be just up the coast, or it is possible he could be trying to store it at the docks. Maybe even in one of the warehouses. We'll have to pick him out as fast as possible, which means we need to get there as fast as possible."
"Then hold on," said Raven. The deeper darkness sheened blacker still and spiraled outward like a blooming flower, encompassing the other Titans. An otherworldly screeching filled the underground as Raven's soul-self soared up through the soil and sediment to launch out of the ground-level pavement. Blackshine wings sailed upwards past the neon-concrete of the tech sector and into the open sky, then swooped low over the building tops of the city, flying like the wind towards the churning waters of the bay. As the unglowing bird skimmed the skyline the city's people looked up, pointing and shouting as the familiar phenomenon passed by in a blink. The update beat through Jump City like a pulse; the Titans were still out, still on the move, still on the hunt. Speculation raged through messengers and threaded conversations. Children argued and donned costumes, acting out what they imagined the adventure to be. Teenagers and young adults took the opportunity to post about and cheer on their favorite Titan, and in some cases, their favorite villain, hoping that their bad boy/girl of choice was out causing havoc. The middle-aged and older, along with the more serious minded youth, brooded over the potential collateral damage and the never ending state of superpowered warfare that raged continuously through their city and so many others. And, on seedier parts of the internet, people placed bets in untraceable currencies, hoping to win big on guessing the nature and outcome of the Titans' latest mission.
And as all this began in the span of a few moments, the blackshine bird broke over the bay and circled above the docks, letting out a haunting screech that no one on the water could miss. On the far end of the harbor, a freighter sat anchored alone. A team of red-jumpsuited men worked on its deck, moving about in a frenzy. The boat bobbed in the water and sent out a rocking wake. A wave of bodies rail-gunned out of a nearby tunnel access and moved several crates into the freighter's hull, increasing the bobbing wake substantially. Raven's soul-self spied the unnatural activity from on high, and she plummeted out of the sky. The wave of dark energy dive-bombed the freighter directly, setting its bobbing to an even greater intensity and sending Billies reeling about on deck, but not actually damaging the ship itself in any way.
"IT'S THE DEMON!" "SHE'S HIT US!" "MAY DAY! MAY DAY! DROP THE LIFE BOATS! BILLIES AND BILLIES FIRST!" "DON'T BE THICK, BILLY! SHE DIDN'T HURT US! SHE BEAMED IN! SHE'S IN THE SHIP!" "WELL WHADDA WE DO THEN, BILLY?"
Before anybilly could answer, a portion of the deck exploded upwards as Cyborg leapt through it bodily, loosing a battlecry that echoed far over the waves of the bay. Cyborg bounded forward onto the deck, taking out groups of nearby Billies with devastating sweep-punches. He quickly eliminated all the hostiles in armsreach, and so then switched to his cannonarm. Cyborg took quick aim and let fly a series of brief sonic blasts, firing them one after another at random clusters of Billy and blasting them to blurred shreds.
The Billies on deck began to duplicate and charge at Cyborg, but before they could get far Starfire shot out through the side of the freighter in a squealing of wrenching metal. Starfire looped once through the air and then strafed the deck from the side, flanking the charging Billies with a volley of high-powered starbolts that tore through them effortlessly before skimming out over the bay and kicking up huge fin-waves of green-lit water. More Billies cloned upward from below deck and charged Cyborg from behind while others clone-towered up several stories in the air so as to dive-bomb at Starfire. Cyborg transformed his second hand into a sonic cannon as well and began firing in a full 360 degree range. Starfire pulled away from the deck and began dodging and blasting the waves of falling Billies, which then splashed into the water of the bay and began immediately cloning upward at her again. From a distance it looked like great red tentacles were reaching upward out of the bay to swat at Starfire's zigzagging form.
Raven phased through the deck and joined the battle as well. With a two handed gesture and a whispered mantra, Raven rose through the air and swung her hands wide. A scythe-blade of blackshine stretched out some fifteen yards and sliced through dozens of clones like a knife through warm butter. The Billies began multiplying at double speed, and many now turned to charge at Raven, who swung and slashed relentlessly with her magic.
An explosion blasted flame out of a nearby stairwell, and Robin tumbled out of it trailing smoke. Robin flipped through the air and extended his bo-staff. He landed amidst the crowd of Billies and wasted no time in pummeling them with expert blows to their vital areas. The small group of Billies near him turned and focused on the Boy Wonder, attempting to crowd him as they had done with Beast Boy, but Robin twirled his staff in a lethal fan and jump-flipped through the air, evading as much as he attacked. In the middle of his flip Robin caught a split-second glance at the other Titans, and this was all he needed to process their respective situations. As he landed and swung out his staff in a devastating wide arc, Robin also let fly a series of special discs. One landed near Cyborg and unleashed a thick cloud of smoke, blinding and choking the Billies but allowing Cyborg to still see with his cybernetic eye. One landed near Raven and flash-exploded, producing a thick crop of incendiary flames and causing several Billies to jump back in surprise. Raven stretched out her hands and fed her mystic powers into the dancing fire, and as she did so the flames burned black. Raven rose into the air and twirled about, the black fire spiraling about her and taking the shape of a roaring, serpentine dragon. All Billies touched by the ebonfire erupted into burning darkness and ran screaming off the deck and into the waters of the bay, but found no relief as they burnt underwater for several seconds before finally blurring off back into the clone-hive. A third and final disc found its way into the waters of the bay, and there blew open in a hissing of mist that spread out over the waters in an instant, leaving nothing but solid ice behind. The Billy-tentacles froze, covered in icicles and sudden snow. Starfire flew up and away, building green energy in both hands for several seconds. With a frenzied cry Starfire shot a great beam of power down into the frozen section of the bay. The Billies shattered in frozen splinter, glowing emerald in the wake of their collective demise.
The Titans moved as one, closing in on an increasingly corralled Billy Numerous. The multiplicative teen teemed and roiled with swelling numbers, but the Titans cut into his ranks faster than he could selfproduce. Raven's black flames coiled around an ever-shrinking perimeter, instantly immolating any Billy fool enough to touch it. Starfire fired off a continuous stream of searing starbolts at a downward angle, keeping the Billies from towering up into the air. Cyborg let off twin cannonbeams into the centermass of the writhing and wriggling cloneform, culling their numbers. Robin aided Cyborg, unleashing a barrage of explosive discs into the bulwark of Billies. The Titans' assault pressed inward. The space allowed the Billies grew tighter and tighter. The mound of clones flexed and shuddered more and more violently in mass-meiosis. Their consistent bwoops and southern twangs blended together and became one sound: the warbling shriek of monster made of men.
The Titans closed in evermore, but soon they had pressed their advantage too far. The warbling shriek reached a fevered note, and the mass of Billies overflowed. Many burnt to cinders against Raven's black hellfire, many more exploded against the ministrations of Starfire, Cyborg, and Robin, but the quasi-hivemind had reached the mindset a cornered animal, and the anguish of some meant little to the panicked whole. The Titans tried to hold the line, but the wall of Billies swallowed them all at once. Robin, Cyborg and Raven were knocked off their feet. Each became lost in a sea of bodies. None of them could tell which way was up, because every direction was nothing but Billy. Punches, kicks, elbows, teeth. The three Titans could do nothing but struggle. Starfire gasped at the sight, grasping her face with worry. Her next heartbeat melted her concern, and replaced it with righteous fury. Starfire's face fell into a warrior's scowl and she dove into the seething culture of Billy Numerous, scorching through its innards like a fiery bullet, searching and searching for her friends. Cyborg fired his cannons. Raven encircled herself in blackshine. Robin tuck and covered inside his cape. The freighter rocked with the weight and movement of the human swarm, sending heavy wake out into the harbor. The voices of the Billies took on a menacing tone, the sound of exaltation and sadistic power. But just as the Billies start to revel in their superiority, another inflection entered their hive-sound. A dry heave here. A wet cough there. Cries of sadism morphed into low-pitched whines and pained groans. Punches and kicks stopped flying at the captured Titans as everybilly abruptly lost their strength and cringed into one another, grasping at their stomachs.
"OOooh! I ain't feelin' too hot, Billy!" "Me neither, Billy!" "Oh no! My tum-tum!" "What'd we have for supper, Billy?" "I think I remember a caviar sandwich, Billy!" "Are we allergic to fish eggs?"
As the Billies commiserated they began to retract, bleeding back into one another in a receding tide of nauseated blithering until only a single Billy remained.
"Oooh boy," Billy said, stumbling over to the the railing and leaning over the side. "Oooh man! I'm gunna! I'm gunna! Hup-" Billy pursed his lips and closed his mouth tight. The Titans collected themselves and watched in baffled awe. Billy breathed steadily through his nose for a few seconds before exhaling with relief. Still clutching to the railing, Billy spat down once into the bay.
"Awwwhohoo man," Billy sighed, "I really thought I was gonna toss my cookies there."
A green blur rushed out from Billy's pale face and perched itself on the railing.
"Lemme held you with that," Beast Boy smirked and slapped Billy hard on the back.
"BWWWAAAAAAAAUUUGGGHHH!" Billy wretched bodily over the rails.
"BEASTIE! MY DUUUUDE!" Cyborg's face broke into a huge smile and he held up a hand.
"AY AY AY!" Beast Boy called as he hopped off the railing and landed a resounding high-five on Cyborg's metal palm.
"Ooooh! I am elated to see you again, Beast Boy!" Starfire cooed as she darted in and wrapped her green companion in a vice-like hug.
"Soooo," Raven droned, eyeing the still vomiting villain. "You transformed into a stomach virus?"
"Yooou KNOW it, mama!" Beast Boy crooned as he returned Starfire's hug.
"Disgusting," Raven droned, frowning at the changeling.
"Disgusting, yet effective," Robin grinned as he sauntered over to the railing and slapped a pair of cuffs on Billy Numerous.
"Effective," Cyborg nodded and then poked Billy's side, causing the captive to wretch explosively over the side of the freighter once again. Cyborg grinned, "And HILARIOUS! HAHAHAHAAAA!"
"It was the genius!" Starfire beamed, releasing Beast Boy and floating merrily through the air.
"Well, you know, I don't like to brag or nothin'-" Beast Boy started, dusting off his shoulders.
"Uh-huh," Raven droned. Beast Boy ignored her and continued.
"-but I just HAD to put a big end on ol' Billy Numerous here! Y'all shoulda seen the whoopin' I put on him down in the underground! Boy was hurtin' bad!"
"Actually, we did," Robin smiled, pulled Beast Boy's communicator out of his belt, and tossed it to him.
"My favorite part was when Billy gang-stomped you," Raven droned, smiling slightly. "You were very impressive as his kicking bag."
"Whoa, hey now, mama," Beast Boy held up a defensive finger as he pocketed his communicator. "I sense your smarcasms, okay? And I will have you know that was a tactical gang-stomping on my part!"
Raven blinked and stared at Beast Boy . Billy wretched loudly once again. Robin exhaled breathily and held out a clarifying hand towards Beast Boy, asking, "A tactical gang-stomping?"
"A tactical gang-stomping!" Beast Boy grinned and nodded insistently.
"Hmmm, yes, of course," Cyborg stroked his chin and put on a high-class accent. Cyborg made a scholarly flourish of his hand as he said, "The tactical gang-stomping. A classic maneuver."
"Teehee! Heehee!" Starfire's giggling caused her to bounce slightly in the air.
Robin shook his head and chuckled under his breath. Raven turned to look at him. Robin could only shrug at her and sheepishly say, "Tactical gang-stomping."
"Whatever," Raven rolled her eyes, smiling slightly wider, and waved her hand at the nauseated Billy Numerous. A sphere of blackshine enclosed the villain with a ghostly ringing and levitated him off the freighter's deck.
"Good work, Titans," Robin said as an armada of armored police cruisers began flooding into the docks, their sirens wailing and lights flashing brightly. "I'm sure Detective Slack will be relieved to know we've captured the culprit and recovered the stolen goods. You all worked hard tonight. Head on back to the Tower, I'll take care of our police report and meet you back there."
"Uh-uh!" Beast Boy stepped forward, waving his hand in front of him.
"What's wrong?" Robin asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"Before all this mess, we was eating dinner," Beast Boy pointed a finger in Robin's red breast. "And then we got interrupted! But before all that, YOU promised to buy us dessert!"
"Hey, YEAH!" Cyborg smiled viciously threw his arms wide.
"That is correct," Starfire nodded imperiously. With a mischievous expression she too pointed at the Boy Wonder, saying, "You promised to buy us the dessert, Robin!"
"They're not wrong," Raven shrugged.
"So that police report you're so excited for is gonna have to wait, dawg," Beast Boy grinned. "Now, I had to travel through the old sewers AND crawl around this dude's intenstrinal track today, so whatever you gettin' us, you are gettin' me TRIPLE servings! No questions! No complaints!"
"Okay! Okay!" Robin laughed and threw up palms up. "You got me! I guess Slack can wait until morning for our report."
"Good!" Beast Boy nodded. "Now, what's it gonna be?"
"Well," Robin started, "I was thinking of that new sorbet place-"
"BWWWWAAAAAAAAUUUUGGGHHH!" Billy Numerous threw up violently inside his blackshine orb.
"Yyyyyeaaaah," Cyborg winced and jerked his head towards their prisoner, "What he said."
"Definitely," Beast Boy agreed. "I appreciate the healthy diet, bruh, but it's dessert not post-workout. I'm wantin' something that tastes goooood!"
"Alright," Robin held up a palm again. An amused expression moved over Robin's features. "No sorbet, so how about... tsss, oh, I dunno. Does pie sound good?"
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!" Cyborg bellowed out a cry of pleasure so loud that the approaching JCPD officers stopped dead in their tracks, looking around for incoming combatants. Cyborg fell to his knees and threw his hands up in praise as he held his note of rapture.
"DUDE!" Beast Boy physically leapt onto Robin, his face glowing with excitement, "YOU DANG WELL KNOW PIE SOUNDS GOOD!"
"Hehehehahahaha!" Starfire laughed brightly as Cyborg's bellow continued, unfaltering and undiminished.
"Hooraaaay," Raven droned, her voice filled with even less enthusiasm than usual.
And so the course of events went as one would have expected. The Titans handed off Billy Numerous and made off for their favorite pie shop, much to the delight of the shop's owner and the exhaustion of the shop's employees. Cyborg challenged Beast Boy on exactly what constituted 'triple servings,' and Robin's wallet paid the price.
As the Titans celebrated, Billy was hauled off to the JCPD station and placed in special, duplication inhibiting restraints while the officers filed the necessary paperwork to have him transferred to the Rig. The restraints were nothing more than a thin metal collar and matching metal cuffs, each set with a single, glowing red light that indicated the power suppression had been activated. Billy fumbled with the cuffs and collar the entire ride out to the Rig, trying to make them comfortable. The sun had already set by the time Billy strolled out of the JCPD hovercraft and onto the Rig's entry yard. The yard stood empty at that time of night, but as the officers escorted Billy inside and placed him before a large, polygonal front desk, Billy heard voices. He looked in the direction of the voices and smiled to himself as the reception officer approved the paperwork. The officers then took Billy by his arms and walked him down a long hall. The hallway was blank white, completely sparse, and set in an odd trapezoidal shape. As they walked down the hallway, the voices grew closer. Before long the white hallway became a transparent glass walkway. As Billy looked down beneath him, he found the Rig's dining hall. A cavalcade of exotic supervillains sat around tables, talking and eating. Billy's grin reached his ears.
"HOWDY Y'ALL!" Billy cried at the top of his lungs. "HOW'S EVERYBILLY, DOIN'?"
The villains looked up. Their voices cried out in recognition as they hailed at their newest jail-mate.
"HEY! BILLAAAY!" cried out one of Billy's old H.I.V.E. classmates that he couldn't quite place.
"LOOK! THEY GOT ANOTHER ONE!" yelled a burly man with moving tattoos.
"How many Billies does that make now?" asked a man with a spider for a head.
"At least four since I've been here." answered a balding old man.
"I just wonder what they do with them." said a scrawny teenager with a bowl cut.
"CHIN UP, BILLY-BOY! WE'LL SEE YOU WUNNA THESE DAYS!" shouted out another of Billy's old classmates. Billy could not recall this one's name either.
As the officers escorted Billy passed the walkway and into another stretch of white, trapezoidal corridor, Billy's smile faded. As they began to march passed flat, steel doors set into the slopping sides of the hallway, Billy's frown deepened.
"Another one, huh?" Billy asked, looking up at one of his escorts, then the other. "There's more Billies in here?"
"Hahaha, ooooh yeah," one of the officers said, his sanguine voice buzzing darkly through his helmet.
The other officer looked pointedly to the side.
"I always love it how you can't even keep track of yourself," the sanguine officer continued. "It's the funniest thing! You just spread out across the city like a virus! No consciousness. No plan. Just drifting aimless. Then you're so involved doing who-knows-what that you almost never even notice when another group of you faces the Titans! It's like you never even turn on the TV! Like, what? You spend all your time deciding which version of you is gonna be the pivot man? Hahaha!"
"Well," Billy started, frowning at the laughing officer. His brow furrowed, and he looked around. Blinking, he only found the two officers beside him as they marched down the long hallway. The lights on his restraints glowed steady red. Billy blinked and shook his head, then looked back at the still laughing officer and continued, "Look here! Billy Numerous is a party, alright? When Billies get together that's... well, I mean, that's all that goes down, right? I mean, Billies hang, Billy! Right? Right?"
Billy asked the last two questions at one officer, then the other. When one didn't answer and the other just kept laughing, Billy's expression grew angry. "Right, Billies?!" He asked, looking back and forth between the two.
"Hahahahaaa!" The laughing officer's chest heaved through his space age armor.
"Billy," the other officer look directly at the confused teenager. His voice was even and direct, but not hard. "You, or rather several other versions of you, have all independently been diagnosed with a combination of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and a Non-Classical Schizoid Personality Disorder. Both of these have been greatly exacerbated and altered by the nature of your metahuman powers."
"Pssssh," Billy scoffed at the officer. "What? What's that even mean, Billy? We ain't crazy."
"I'm not you, Billy. We are not you," the calmer officer explained, his voice dropping with concern. The sanguine officer shook his head and sniggered.
"Tch, well, yeah," Billy shook his head again, blinking and looking around anxiously. "Everybilly knows that! We're Billy. I mean I'm Billy, not you!"
"That's right, Billy," the officer nodded. "You are you. Whenever we capture another version of you we follow a procedure. You're not allowed out among the general population of the prison, but it's not solitary confinement. You're visited every day by a number of mental health professionals. It's part of a program to help you get better, Billy."
Billy did not say anything, but scowled at the officer with slowly widening eyes.
"The doctors say that your powers have not only complicated your disorders, but that they are likely the root of them," the officer continued, his voice getting softer even as they continued to march. "This knowledge has informed your treatment. Because of this, there's only ever one version Billy Numerous kept in this facility."
"What," Billy asked as the officers finally stopped in front of a metal door that looked identical to all the others they had passed. "Only one? What, you gonna kill me, or somethin', and keep the other Billy thatchu been shrink wrappin'?"
"No-" the calm officer started, but the sanguine officer cut him off.
"We're not gonna do anything to you, Billy." the sanguine officer almost skipped up to the door's control panel. "As for what he's gonna do to you? Well, there's some debate here about whether or not it actually counts as murder. Personally? I don't care what you call it. I just think it's damn entertaining!"
"You're a sick man, Walker," the other officer sighed.
"He?" Billy asked, his expression dazed.
The metal door slid open with a mechanical hiss.
The interior of the cell was as stark white as the hall, but was not as sparse. A large, cheap rug lay across the floor. Several paintings and drawings of dubious quality hung neatly about the walls. A couple shelves full of little knick-knacks had been bolted into a space above a house plant that was not quite dying. A small, plain bed lay against the far wall, and in the corner next to it was a small television and a nondescript chair. From the doorway, Billy could see that a children's cartoon played on the television, but the back of the chair faced the doorway. As Billy looked warily around for something more, a familiar voice filled the room as someone stood from the chair.
"Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in," said another Billy as he rounded the chair and face the doorway. This Billy, too, wore his prisoners uniform, including cuffs and collar with the red glowing lights.
"Billy!" said the new Billy with blatant relief. He scampered into the room, casting distrustful glances back at the guards in the hallway. The Billy of the cell considered his counterpart with a small, amused smile.
The new Billy went on, "Oh man, I'm glad to see you, Billy! These two was givin' me some sorta run around! I thought they was gonna curb stomp me and put me in the chili or somethin', but now that we're back together we can bust outta here!"
"You reckon so?" asked the cell Billy, lazily jangling one of his special cuffs.
The new Billy looked down at his own cuffs and frowned, then looked back up at his double with an earnest expression, "We can't double up, but there's still two of us! Quick, 'fore they close the door! Let's charge 'em! They might have the keys to these darn things they got on us!"
Out in the hallway, Walker laughed. The cell Billy shook his head, smiling pleasantly.
"They don't have any key. And even if they did, you couldn't get it off 'em. Turns out, if I can't gang up on somebody, I ain't much of a fighter. See, I already done tried what you just suggested, oh, 'bout six times in the past couple years."
The frightened clone blinked hard, "Couple YEARS?"
"That's what I said," Billy nodded calmly.
The clone looked around the room, growing frantic, "But, but, we're Billies! Billies gotta try! Billies stick together! 'Swhat Billies do, dagnabit!"
"Well, I gotta disagree with you there, boy. You see, I'm Billy Numerous. You? Well, you're just a memory I ain't got around to recollectin' yet."
The clone's mouth moved for a few seconds, trying and failing to form words. It backed up against a wall, staring at Billy with a mystified expression. Billy smirked up to a camera in a ceiling corner, then looked over at the guards and simply nodded. The doors hissed shut. The clone found its voice again, and stuttered, "Wh-what was that about, Billy? What are you on about? What are you sayin'?"
"Hhuhh," Billy sighed, smiling indulgently. "That was me lettin' them know that you're ready. Won't fight it too much. What I'm sayin'?" Billy stepped up to the clone and ran a hand down its cheek. Billy sucked air through his teeth and said, "Boy, you got pretty skin. Think I'll take it."
"No," the clone said weakly, shaking its head.
The red lights on their restraints went dark.
"NO!" the clone yelped, jumping to get away.
"YEE-HAW!" Billy cried, a cruel edge to his voice as he tripped the clone, spending it sprawling hard to the cell floor. Billy immediately dropped on top of the clone, holding it down as it kicked and struggled.
"GET OFFA ME!" the clone cried as it turned on to its back and tried to push Billy off of it. Billy's hands dug into its body, starting to blur into it like two mercury bubbles merging, before the clone managed to push the hands back out again.
"RIIIIIDE 'EM COWBOOOOY!" Billy hollered, laughing freely as he pressed his hands back into the clone's chest, causing it to blur and bend with weird physics. The clone struggled and fought ecstatically beneath him, but as the blurring increased, its energy started to fade.
"NO! PLEASE! NOOOO!" the clone wailed, tears starting to fall down its cheeks. Its whole body rippled in one last wave of weird physics as the edges of its form started to go fuzzy. Its voice came out oddly static as it said one final, "Please."
"Noooo!" Billy mocked, eyes and voice full of energy, as the clone's will finally became one with his own.
bwoop
The clone popped back into Billy's body with all the ceremony of a bubble popping. For a moment, Billy stayed on his hands and knees, panting excitedly on the floor. The red lights on his cuffs and collar turned back on. The camera in the ceiling corner refocused. Across the cell, Billy's small television blared out an electronic jingle; the theme song for a new episode of Billy's cartoon.
Billy took a great big sniff, stood up from the floor, and dusted himself off with a satisfied look on his face. He walked over to his chair and took a seat. Billy picked up a small glass of water from an armrest cupholder. He sipped on it as he relaxed into the cheap cushions of his lounger. Billy considered the television with a pleased expression as the theme song finished and the show itself began.
"I love this episode," Billy said to himself.
H here, saying thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you'll join me next week for CHAPTER 5: THE PHANTOMS OF JUMP FLATS!
The struggles of superheros and supervillains don't fit neatly into the context of normal justice. What does this mean for the Titans? What does this mean for their foes?
