Last real Christmas

"Sirius hadn't gotten better. He had gotten worse, now that he wasn't singing along with the real Stubby on the record. He was really, really bad. The music was fine, the people playing the guitar and drums seemed very good, but he was possibly the worse singer I'd ever heard. Words cannot express how bad he was. He would forget the tune, or come in early, or get too far from his microphone so you couldn't hear him, which frankly provided a bit of a relief from his singing." Lupin shook his head. "And the crowd loved him. The actual Stubby Boardman wouldn't have gotten such a reaction at this point in his career."

"It was almost surreal, sitting there, listening to the crowd cheer and applaud. After about thirty minutes, he finished with-" Lupin tapped the record "God rest ye merry, Hippogriffs, and got a standing ovation at the end, as he said with 'And this is SB and the Hippogriffs, signing off'."

"After the show ended, he waved off requests of autographs from the crowd, and came and sat with us. He stared at James for a bit, and said, 'So, how was my singing?'. And suddenly, as a group, we realized we had been had. As Sirius then explained, he had rented not only a band, which was a real band I've forgotten the name of, but he'd rented the entire bar for the night, and paid four dozen people to come here and cheer him. He'd even paid more people to stand in line outside. And with that, he stood up and waved at them, and they all cheered again."

Harry had to laugh, and Lupin started laughing along with him.

"Anyway," said Lupin after a few minutes of laughing, "that wasn't the end of the story. Sirius thanked them, paid them, and directed them all out the door, and then sat down again in the mostly empty bar. He admitted we'd managed to fool him at first, he'd actually believed he could sing, but he, for some unknownable reason, owned a Muggle tape recorder, and had recorded himself singing, and realized that he was horrible. So he had reverse pranked James back, and said, 'That, James, only scores acceptable. I fell for it at first, but you should have sprung the trap earlier, because I figured it out before the end.'."

"However, James shook his head and pointed at me, and Sirius looked startled. I almost never came up with pranks, and hadn't done one since Hogwarts. But then I shook my head and pointed to Lily, grinning, and she nodded. Sirius and James' jaw dropped, and Sirius started sputtering, and finally said 'Well, that certainly exceeds expectations, Lily.', and gave her a hug."

Lupin paused for a second, and came to a decision. "I probably shouldn't tell you this. At that point, an incredibly attractive woman came up behind Sirius and Lily and said, 'Hey, Stubby, how about a hug for me, too. And a kiss.'. And then she got a little lewd about what else she wanted from him. Sirius was confused, and then we all realized that she actually thought that he was Stubby Boardman. She had somehow got in without being one of Sirius' ringers, and had been completely smashed during the singing. She'd probably been there all day, in fact."

"He turned to the group, and said, 'Correction: Outstanding, Lily. Simply outstanding.' and draped his arm over her shoulders and lead her off. We sat there and waited, but ten minutes later he sent us a note telling us to go home, and he didn't reappear until Christmas Eve, which was a bit of a relief to Lily."

Harry hadn't stopped laughing this entire time.

Lupin concentrated, "Sirius introduced us eventually. He dated her on and off for about a year and a half, although Sirius was never serious about any relationship he was in, and didn't often bring her around. And he did repeatedly explain who he really was, but she was a very confused individual even when sober, so it's possible she didn't believe him. At least once, she seemed to think he was Stubby in hiding pretending to be a person named Sirius Black. I think she'd been hit with one memory charm too many at some point."

Lupin continued, "And Lily was right, Harry. From then on, Sirius paid attention to your mother. He started treating her as one of us, instead of just someone who had dated and married one of us. I think that was the reason she let James pick him to be your Godfather, and why she was okay with him being the secret keeper, although that obviously didn't work out that way."

"And that Christmas, as we were all sitting around eating dinner together, Lily announced she was pregnant, and Sirius sang God rest ye merry, Hippogriffs to you, or at least to your mother's stomach. And that was the Marauder's last real Christmas." He frowned at the end.