Hey guys!
Okay so this is gonna be a long author's note, so prepare, hehe (or skip it, whatever).
Sorry for the long wait! I really am, but life got in the way and I had little time –and energy- to write. Also I had written this chapter so many times and I couldn't get it right (am still not completely happy with it). I hope you can forgive me, haha.
Also, the next update may take a while as well, because I'll be going to Spain tomorrow (for 10 days) and I won't be able to update then. If I'm lucky I will be able to write there, and then I'll update when I come home, but I can't promise anything.
Really, really sorry for the slow updates (this goes for all my stories) but I've been feeling like shit lately. I try, really (:
BLESSING IN DISGUISE
CHAPTER FOUR
…
''Good morning!'' He cheerfully calls out when he enters her room.
Instead of the broken reply he'd gotten the last few days, he's now rewarded with a much happier one.
''Hey, Castle.'' She smiles as he walks through the doors.
She looks a lot better already; her face has gotten some of its colour back and her eyes seem to be less tired and worried.
She's stable, she's almost okay again. The wounds just need to close up and she'll have to take some pills and then just slowly recover. But she's safe now. She's safe.
''How are you feeling?'' He asks, walking past her bed towards the crib.
She smiles when she sees his eyes light up as he spots Liam, quietly lying there, but awake. He bends over and lifts the boy up, cradling him in his arms, against his chest. Somewhere inside that makes her feel warm and fuzzy.
''Was that meant for me or for Liam?'' She chuckled lightly in mock offense.
He turns towards her; smiling, but doesn't answer.
''I'm good. Thanks.'' She then answers as she holds out her arms –now free, not attached no any machine anymore.
''Ah. Come on?'' He whines, drawing out the word slowly and trying out his best puppy-eyes-look.
But she only raised a brow and didn't move or pull in her arms; just waits for him to place her baby in her arms.
The boy made a soft sound of recognition or at least to show that he was content as he made contact with his mother's skin.
''Hey there baby.'' She whispered, stroking the baby's little head. ''Are you ready to go home, uh?''
Castle smiled. She looked so perfect and he just wish he could-
-no. stop.
She was going home today. He just wished that home didn't refer to her apartment with her father as help, but that home referred to his loft where he could love her and Alexis could be the big sister and Martha the grandma and then Jim could even stay over and…
But he's woken from his thoughts as Jim himself enters the room; bag swung over his shoulder and a smile on his face.
''Hey Katie.'' He says smiling and oh-so-fatherly as he walks over to her and kisses both Kate and Liam on their foreheads. ''You guys ready to go?''
He couldn't help but feel a little-
-disappointed.
Disappointed, because this was the hospital, and here, in the hospital it was acceptable to visit her every day. Okay, make that every few hours.
Once she's home he's… he can't… right?
Two hours later; when all the forms are signed and all is packed and brought to the car, her father and a nurse walk back in with a wheelchair navy blue stroller. Her face lights up.
''Thanks Dad.'' She says as she pushes herself up and tries to stand. It's still hard; she still stands unsteady and has to lean on the edge of the bed for support.
She's dressed now; casually in loose-fitting, grey sweatpants and a light blue hoodie with a zipper so she doesn't have to lift her arms. She isn't wearing makeup and her hair falls freely around her face. She looks so beautiful.
Jim lifts up Liam from his crib and puts him in the stroller, then almost has to forcefully put Kate in the wheelchair – she claims she's able to walk to the car herself, but she doesn't know at what floor her room is and she doesn't know how big the hospital is. She hasn't been able to walk for more than fifty meters yet.
After signing the very, very last form the nurse disappears into the hallways.
''Can I help?'' Castle asks, reaching for the handles of the wheelchair.
''Rick, no. You're not going to push me.'' Kate protests; voice still weak but getting stronger every day.
He wants to argue but Jim silences him. He understand; she doesn't want to feel weak in front of her partner; rather has her father push her. So he nods and takes the stroller. Liam is already fast asleep; his little fists resting on his belly.
They leave the hospital in silence; except for the goodbyes from the nurses and doctors in passing that all had gotten to know Kate pretty well by now. One of the male nurses said goodbye to Kate with a wink, receiving a stern look from Jim that made it hard for Castle not to laugh. The nurse had been hitting on Kate all week; something she was clearly not amused by.
They arrived at Jim's car; a silver Toyota. A maxicosi had already been placed in the back and Castle took the task upon himself, and lifted Liam out of the stroller. He kissed the boy on his head before skillfully securing the belt around the baby-seat and closing the door after double checking everything.
Kate was still seated in the wheelchair; the passenger's seat's doo already open while Jim stood beside her.
''Do you want me to come over, help you with anything?'' He asked to both Kate and her father. Kate shook her head.
''No. That's really sweet but you've done enough already. Go home; spend time with Alexis and Martha. Okay?'' She said.
He nodded. He didn't want to leave, didn't want her to be 'alone'. He was going to miss her; he was going to worry his ass off.
''So um.'' He started. ''Call me if you need anything, okay? Like, anything anything. Everything from stuff to emotional support to help to money to knowledge… anything, okay?''
She nodded silently; both knew she was never gonna ask him for help, but both didn't want to argue either.
He fumbled with his keys.
''Jim.'' He nodded, walking towards the older man and firmly shaking his hand.
''Rick.'' He replied, returning the same firm grip.
Then he turned to Kate.
''Bye Kate.'' He said, softer and less confident. ''I'll see you soon okay?''
She looked down and avoided his gaze.
''Yeah. Sure. Bye, Castle.'' She said.
Then he turned around and with a last look at Kate, a smile directed to the sleeping boy in the car, he headed towards his own.
…
Later, when he sat in his office while absentmindedly typing away on his computer his phone rang.
His heart immediately skipped a beat; hoping it was her.
Sadly it was his mom, telling him she'd be gone for the night and after that he couldn't focus at all anymore.
His hands were itching to grab his phone and dial her number, but his head was telling him no.
He couldn't, because it would seem clingy and weird and even though he might be clingy, he didn't want her to think that.
He'd started typing out six texts already, but deleted them every time.
'You okay?' A couple had said, whilst others literally told her he missed her.
But he couldn't send them.
…
When she arrived home she felt strange; empty, cold. Her apartment was decorated with new baby-accessories; a crib in the corner of the living room and she knew Castle had helped her father to re-decorate the study into a baby-room. He'd tried to keep silent, but she noticed the light green paint on his fingers and pants several times.
She caught herself wishing he was here, but she wasn't allowed to think that way and blamed it on the just having a baby thing. Maybe it was just a newly mother's nature to long for a man by her side.
Maybe.
''Do you want a drink?'' Her dad asked her after he'd helped her sit comfortably on the couch; Liam in her arms.
She shook her head; eyes emptily staring ahead while softly rocking Liam in her arms –the doctors had told her several times not to, said it would pull the stitches, but she stubbornly kept doing it-.
Two hours later her dad has laid Liam down in the crib in his new room and brought her a plate of food; gross salt-less doctor-prescribed diet food that she poked around with for several minutes before setting it down on the table.
Her dad tried to make her eat it, but she refused; like she would have done when she was a little girl and didn't want to eat her veggies.
At least Castle brought me normal food. She thought, again denying her longing for him.
Another hour passed before her dad sighed and stood in front of her; arms crossed.
''Give me your phone.'' He demanded, already bending down to retrieve it from where it lay beside her on the couch.
For a moment she sat there; just confused, but then she protested.
''No. Dad!''
''Katie, just call the guy. You've been sitting here, pouting for more than three hours now.''
''I'm just tired and my stitches hurt.'' She lies reluctantly.
''You shouldn't be moving your arms so much, you know what the doctor said.'' Her dad replied before walking away; phone still in his hands.
A couple of minutes later her returned and handed her the phone. A picture of her son was sitting on the screen; the small baby peacefully asleep in his new bed, the bear Castle had given him sitting in the corner of the crib.
She smiled.
Her dad had attached the photo to an empty text addressed to Castle; not yet sent.
He was looking at her when she looked up.
He didn't say anything but just shot her a look that she read easily. 'Text him, at least.' It said.
She bit her lip, then nodded although she wasn't sure why.
Thank you.
She didn't type more than those two words that to most others would mean barely anything, but she knew they held enough meaning for what she wanted to say; she knew he would get her message.
…
His phone beeped; showing a text message.
A photo of a sleeping Liam and the words 'Thank you.'
He couldn't contain his grin.
…
This was short and badly written; I know. I'm going to Spain for 10 days tomorrow, so you shouldn't be expecting another update soon. I'm really, really sorry about the long waits. I'll try to get back on schedule when I come back.
See you soon!
