Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. I'm admiring Bruno Heller who created The Mentalist.

A/N: This was supposed to be the last chapter but something happened and... here we are. So after this, there is coming one chapter more which is the last one. I hope this chapter provides the answers to the questions that previous chapter raised. Thanks for reviews klcarr892, Brown Eyes Parker and submar. And yea, it's Jane's POV again.


To err is human.

As soon as the door was closed I knew I had made a mistake. Again, and worst of all was that it was the same mistake than ten years earlier. I had run away from her two times. Two times! What was wrong with me? Who really could do the same mistake two times?

Apparently I could.

I wanted so badly knock on the door and beg her to let me explain. But I didn't do that. When I look back now I don't understand why I didn't. Maybe I was too scared by myself. Coward, a little voice mocked inside my head. But the voice was right - I was the coward.

I had heard that she had missed me and she had forgiven me many years ago. I had heard that she loved me and that's why she didn't hate me. It was better than I had hoped. It was all and more than I had ever hoped. And still it scared me a lot.

It scared me so much that I left. It didn't help that I realized my mistake as soon as the door was closed behind my back. It was too late then. So I start walking. As I walk down the street I see familiar houses. It's amazing how you could be away many years and when you come back home you still remember how everything looks like.

Home… That is a strange word for me. I don't really know what my home is. Or where it is. Is it in here, Sacramento, with both painful and joyful memories? Or is it in Helena with loneliness and yearning? Or is it somewhere else where I haven't gone yet? What home even is? Is it the place where you are happy most of the times? Or is it just a place where you have a house and some kind of shelter?

The best answer I get is that home is where your heart is. No matter how hard I like to deny it, my heart is definitely here. With her. I lived many years in Helena but there never was a day for me without thinking her. She was there with me – in my heart. I remembered our moments when I felt hopeless in Helena. I remembered how she used to make me smile and laugh as well as I made her.

"I love her", I said out loud. I didn't even realize I was talking before I said so. And saying it out loud made me believe it. I truly love her.

I stop. Where in the hell was I going? She needs me and I'm walking away. What I was thinking when I in the first place left her alone? I turn over and start to run back to her house. I need to talk to her. I need to apologize!

When I see her house I stop again. I can see that there are lights on in the kitchen. She is home and she is awake. I'm scared and I don't know if I can knock. What if she hates me and doesn't want to see me? Maybe it is better to wait till morning. When she has calmed down talking would be easier. I walk closer to kitchen's window. Maybe if I could see her I find the courage to knock the door.

I see her sitting on the floor and shaking. She looks so vulnerable that my heart breaks. It doesn't help that evil voice inside my head tells me that this is my fault. I did this to her. Maybe that's why I decide I'm not going to knock on the door. Instead of knocking I run away. Again.

I guess that you noticed the pattern. I want to do right things, I really do. But I'm too scared and uncertain to do them. So afterwards I blame myself for everything and I hate myself even more. Then I'm little more uncertain and scared to actually do something. The more I hate myself, the less I do right things. It's never ending circle.

I look at my phone and then I make maybe the best decision in the whole day. I call to the number which I remember by heart. As much as I was tried to wipe them away in my life, I still remember everyone's phone numbers. So I made a call.

"Grace Rigsby", she answers sounding a little curious. She doesn't recognize my number – how could she, I changed it ages ago.

"Hi Grace, I'm", I start but she interrupts me.

"Jane? Patrick!" She yells happily. I laugh a little. She sounds so excited – like a little kid in a candy store.

"Yea, nice to hear from you too", I answer. "I'm just wondering what the best and cheapest hotel is nearby?" I tell the first excuse that comes into my mind.

"You are in here? In Sacramento?" She asks amazement.

"Yep", I admit.

"Then you must take a taxi and come to visit us!" She demands. I'm refusing politely but she doesn't let me. "Here is the address", she says and after that tells where her home is.

"Okay", I give up. "I come to see you. Do you need something?"

"You here as soon as possible", she answers. I hear man's voice from the back. "Wait a second, Patrick. Wayne, he is back! Jane is back in town. He is coming here so would you please take the children to their rooms while I'm talking? I'm going to say good nights for them later", she talks to her husband. I smile. I have always known that they were meant to be together! "Sorry about that", Grace apologizes.

"I think that I see a taxi… Yep, and it's free. Twenty minutes and I'm there", I say and wave my hand to the taxi.

"See you then", Grace replies and ends the call. I smile a little when I give the address to the driver. Maybe this night isn't so terrible after all.

I pay to the driver and I walk to door. Before I have the time to knock the door opens. Grace smiles happily and hugs me. I laugh a little and hug her back.

"Come in, please, come in", she speaks quickly and technically drags me inside. I hug Wayne too before I turn to face Grace again.

"It's really nice to see you guys again", I say straight from the bottom of my heart. I see how tears are forming in Grace's eyes. Wayne takes her hand on to his.

"We missed you", Grace says. I smile sadly to them.

"I missed you too", I say second time tonight.

"Do you want a cup of tea?" Grace asks smiling. I nod politely.

"It would be nice", I answer and so Grace runs towards the kitchen. Wayne walks to the living room and I follow him.

"How are you?" I ask. Wayne smiles and shows his ring finger.

"We have been married six years now", he answers. "We wanted you to our wedding but we didn't know where we could find you, so…"

"I'm sorry", I apologize. "But I'm happy for you – although I knew this would happen!"

"No, you didn't!"

"Yes I did!"

"No!"

"Yes, I knew it from the very beginning."

"What are you arguing? Here is your tea", Grace asks when she comes to living room with three cups of tea.

"Oh, thanks Grace", I say as I take the cup she offers to me. "Lovely", I commend when I taste the tea. "This is good."

"Glad you like it. Now, tell us what you have been doing all those years!" Grace sounds so curious and excited that I can't help but laugh.

"Nothing so exciting", I try to calm her down. "I moved to Helena and I worked in kindergarten. Now I'm back here."

"Come on! Tell more. We haven't talked almost ten years! You have to be something more to tell us!" Grace demands but laughs a little. Wayne laughs and winks at me.

"You know, Grace, he was a narrator before but now he is so old that he can't remember any stories anymore!" Wayne laughs.

"Hey! I'm not that old! My hair is still golden, not gray!"

"It's called hair color products", Grace laughs. I laugh too. I have missed this. Because we are not in the headquarters they are so more relaxed. Maybe they have little more self-confidence too than ten years ago.

"Where you work nowadays?" I ask. Thinking about headquarters had reminded me that I didn't know anything about them either.

"I'm in Cho's team", Grace answers. I nod. Of course Cho is a senior agent.

"I'm with FBI. We have that cooperative thing going on. They hire me so they have better contacts to CBI", Wayne tells me.

"Cho is senior agent, you are in his team and Wayne is just messing around with feds?" I summarize with a laugh.

"More or less", Grace laughs. "So, now you will give us better story about your life in Helena."

And I tell to them what they want to know. It was nice to talk with them after so many years. Some way we end up remembering our best moments in the office. It was nostalgic and nice and it told me that I'm not alone. They didn't forget me although I was away for so many years. I feel like I belong here after all.

I'm going to leave but Grace doesn't let me. She offers me a guest room's bed and I can't refuse. She is so nice to me! Wayne says that he is going to sleep now because he has to go work next morning. We say good nights but Grace is not going anywhere. I have waited this moment. I knew that she wants to ask me something personal. I think I can guess what she is going to ask.

"Have you talked with Lisbon after your comeback?" She asks carefully. I sigh.

"Yes", I tell her. "I talked with her earlier today. She… Um, I need to talk to her tomorrow again", I try to avoid telling her how our little chat went. Of course she is not satisfied.

"She kicked you out and told you not to come back ever?" She guesses. I can see that she doesn't believe that would happen. So she is just asking to make me tell what really happened.

"Nope", I answer. "She was happy."

"But?"

"But… I made the same mistake again. I left her alone."

"She will forgive you."

"Um, I don't think so. She hates me and that's how it should have been since I left."

"She didn't hate you. She missed you more than anyone. She told me that one day you will come back. And she was right! You're back."

"If she didn't hate me then she will hate me now", I answer sadly.

"No she doesn't. She loves you", Grace try to convince me.

"I know. She told me", I whisper.

"She told you?" Grace sounds surprised.

"Yea. And I left her", I tell bitterly. After that Grace doesn't say anything. How could she? She doesn't want to hurt me by telling me how I made a mistake. And I know it too, so telling it to me is totally unnecessary. "I'm going to sleep. Good night Grace", I say as I walk to the guest room.

When I'm alone in the room I let my smile fade away. I remember how she was sitting on the floor and shaking and crying and it doesn't make me feel good. I know that in the morning I have to go to see her. I have to talk to her. I have to fix things between us.

Maybe everyone makes mistakes sometimes. I do them quite often. If to err is human, I must be really human then!


A/N: Hope you liked it. Review, please? It's so much easier and funnier to write if you know somebody is going to read it after publishing. And to be honest I'm not sure (yet) what happens in the last chapter so... I'm happy to listen suggestions. :)