My disclaimer for the entire So The Reality series:
I know Disney owns "Kim Possible"...lock, stock, and Rufus.
Before I get done, I will probably tick off a few more studios, too.
If they want to sue me, they have to get behind all my other creditors.
Since I am in south Florida, the line has formed to the right
…and goes all the way to Sacramento!
""""""""""
Opening notes:
1) I want to thank each of you for your Chapter 3 reviews. Props go out to Mr. Average (welcome to the party), JAKT (welcome back--I missed you both), CajunBear73, karenstern05, King in Yellow, lxk, and Comet Moon.
A couple of people even reviewed 'Mighty Morphin Power Reindeer'. Since it was a 'one-shot', I cannot thank them there. Thanks go out toward two newcomers to my work, yellow power and GinaStar (again, I welcome you both to the party), as well as a long-time loyal reviewer, FireStorm2k7.
I direct my deepest and most sincere bows to those who were brave enough to review both stories!! These daring souls include Darkon Shadows, Captain IT, and Ran Hakubi.
Thank you, one and all!
2) Once again, I am giving a 'shout-out' for a work I am 'beta-reading'. It is 'When Heroes Fall', by another friend of mine, snapbang.
Folks, if you want a dark, serious story to provide balance to the 'lighter side' provided here, give it a try…after you finish this chapter, OK??
One thing about 'When Heroes Fall', though…It is rated 'T' for obvious violence. You might want to use discretion before letting those younger than a 'fifth grader' read it.
3) As far as I know, these questions are 'grade appropriate' for their respective categories. I did not intentionally steal any questions from the show!! In a few instances, I wrote different questions on the same subjects as those that aired.
Please do not chastise me about question placement (if what you think should be a '4th grade' question is presented as '3rd grade', if you think a 'Science' question should be 'Animal Science', etc.). I have also tried to verify the accuracy of each answer with at least three different sources (available upon PM request).
4) As a reminder, this story takes place a little more than six years before the rest of the 'StR' timeline so far. The reason for this 'time shift' became obvious in the first chapter.
5) No matter what I put here, it's still up to you, the loyal reader, to let me know what you want. Review me, e-mail me if you wanna reach me! If you want to 'PM' me, that's ok! (Sorry…got carried away there, but you get the idea.) Enjoy!
-- -- -- -- -- --
'So the Reality: Fifth Grader' (Question Segment Three)
Are you smarter than a fifth grader?
'Cause there's gonna be a test later…
"Welcome back," Jeff hollered over the applause, "to 'Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?
"Before the break, Steven Barkin risked his $10,000 for a shot at $25,000 with this '5th Grade World History' question…
"…Of the three children of King Henry VIII to
rule England, who was the only son?
"Not knowing the answer himself, Steven has used his 'Copy' cheat to pin his hopes squarely on the shoulders of an eleven-year-old boy named Josh."
Jeff turned to the previously-mentioned Josh.
"No pressure, though…right, Josh?" he asked.
Nervous laughter flowed through the audience.
Josh stood with a peaceful smile on his face as he took a drink of from his bottle of 'Jeff the Redneck®' Spring Water. His voice was calm and serene when he turned toward Jeff and Steven.
"Sir," he replied, "He was right about the reign of Henry VIII taking place during the Renaissance period. I am quite certain of my answer."
"Well, then…" Jeff continued as he looked at his card, "…the correct answer is Edward VI.
"Because of the way the question was written, the judges are now saying they will also accept 'Edward Tudor' or simply 'Edward'.
"Steven, for $25,000…let's see what Josh has on his screen."
After a dramatic pause, the question disappeared from the projection screen, only to be replaced by the answer Jeff shouted…
"…Edward VI!! You have $25,000!"
Every square foot of space in the Boettcher Concert Hall erupted in loud, thunderous applause. In fact, most of the crowd faced Josh and gave him a standing ovation! All Josh could do was blush and smile with deep appreciation.
Steven joined the applause as he watched his place on the earnings tower rise one notch higher:
$1,000,000
$500,000
$300,000
$175,000
$100,000
$50,000
--$25,000--
$10,000
$5,000
$2,000
$1,000
$0
"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-WEE!" screamed Jeff as the applause began to fade. "Lady Luck is certainly smiling on you tonight, Steven!"
"Yeah," Steven nervously chucked, "I guess so."
'Whew!' he thought. 'I can't believe a little kid had to bail me out like that!'
"Like I said before," Jeff went on, "you can't leave with anything less than $25,000 from here on out. That makes this next question kinda like a 'free shot', but you can still double your money with a right answer. Pick another subject."
The earnings tower was replaced by the list of remaining categories:
-- -- -- --
-- -- -- --
2nd Grade U.S. History
-- -- -- --
3rd Grade Literature
3rd Grade Math
4th Grade U.S. Geography
4th Grade Vocabulary
-- -- -- --
-- -- -- --
Steven figured he should choose one of his weaker subjects, since it was, as Jeff put it, a 'free shot'…
He said, "I'll take 3rd Grade Literature."
Jeff nodded as he looked toward the large projection screen.
"Here," he proceeded, "is your $50,000 question…
"…Which annual award is given to 'the author
of the most distinguished contribution
to American literature for children'?
A. The Newberry Award
B. The Peabody Award
C. The Jefferson Award"
Josh thought for a moment before writing down his response and pressing the 'lock-in' button.
"Well, Steven," Jeff reasoned, "at least it's multiple-choice. What do you say?"
Steven responded, "I remember reading a lot of books when I was a kid. A lot of them had pictures of either the Newberry or Caldecott Medals on the cover…so I'd say it's 'A. The Newberry Award'." He quickly pressed the podium button to finalize his response.
Once again, Jeff walked over to the married couple from Pawnee City in the front row.
"So…" he asked them, "…do you still think Steven can win it all?"
"Yep!" the couple said in unison.
"Ji—" the husband began, but stopped a split second later.
"Jinx!" the wife called out. "That's another soda-pop!"
"Hold it!" Jeff snapped as he turned squarely toward the husband. "You let her win that one!"
"I know." the husband said with a smile as he held his wife's hand. "It's the secret to our strong marriage…let her win a few battles now and then."
The women in the audience applauded loudly. The men in the audience laughed nervously, which made the women applaud with greater volume. Even Jeff had to nod and laugh at that profound statement. He rose to his feet and walked back toward the podiums.
"Speaking of winning," Jeff smiled at Steven, "You've just won $50,000!!"
At this turn of events, both genders returned to loud applause.
"Once more," Jeff reminded Steven, "we have to say 'goodbye' to a student. How about a big round of applause for Josh."
Josh mouthed a 'thank you' toward the audience as he heard their praise of his efforts. Soon, he was back at his desk.
"Steven," Jeff observed, "you have an important choice to make. Which 'classmate' do you think could earn you some more money…Kim or Ron?"
A revelation swept across Ron's face. He whispered a few words to Kim, who giggled and nodded in agreement. Soon, they both leaned toward Steven. Their hands were waving back and forth in synchronized motion, similar to windshield wipers on a car.
Of course, Ron did experience an additional benefit, as Kim's strawberry-scented hair just happened to brush across his face. To a cynical eye, it would have seemed like this was Ron's plan all along. The audience, however, was too busy shouting their 'classmate' preferences to Steven.
To Steven's credit, he did not make a rash decision here. He took his time and weighed his options…
'If nothing else, I could do a lot with $175,000 from two more questions…' he figured, '…even if that means I lose out on the bigger money. I'm sure there would be no great shame or embarrassment if I 'drop out' at that point!'
…If only he paid attention earlier…
"Jeff," Steven finally stated, "I choose Kim."
"Kim," Jeff called out, "it's your turn. Come on up here!"
Kim stood on her chair and raised her arms high above her head as the audience began their applause. The cheering grew louder as she performed a flawless handspring off of her desk. She followed that move with several flips and somersaults as she approached the podiums.
She stopped in front of Steven to briefly shake his hand before turning her back to her own podium. With two perfect back-flips and another handspring, she neatly stuck the landing behind her podium.
Jeff was flabbergasted at this second display of acrobatics from this red-headed pre-teen. As the audience gave their second 'standing ovation' of the night, Jeff struggled to find the right card with Kim's information.
"Kim," Jeff read from that card, "it says here that in addition to your gymnastics skills, you have learned nearly a dozen forms of martial arts?"
"That's right," Kim laughed, "I have earned my blue belt in two forms, my brown belt in three other forms, and my black belt in five more…and I'm always trying to learn new disciplines."
Jeff was curious now. "What got you interested in that?"
This made Kim fidget and slightly blush again, her voice becoming a little sheepish as she replied.
"Well," she began, "my dad actually encouraged me to start…he said I would need to defend myself against boys when I grow up!"
The laughter from the audience only caused her embarrassment to grow. Jeff sensed this and quickly changed the subject.
"How about we double that money, Steven?" he suggested. "Pick another subject."
Steven studied the remaining choices carefully.
"Let's take '2nd Grade U.S. History', Jeff." Steven decided.
"Okay, Steven," Jeff motioned toward the large projection screen, "here is your $100,000 question…
"During the War of 1812,
Francis Scott Key wrote
'The Defense of Fort McHenry',
whose words were used to create
what patriotic song?"
Kim frowned a little bit and pondered the question for a moment.
As she was thinking about how to answer, Steven easily recognized the poem, its author, and the only logical answer.
After a few more seconds, Kim wrote an answer on her tablet and pressed the button on her podium.
"Steven," Jeff observed, "even though Kim has locked in her response, you seem to know it already."
Steven cracked a smile as he nodded.
He explained, "There is no way my buddies still in Iraq would ever let me live it down if I got this wrong! It's 'The Star Spangled Banner', Jeff."
With a little more force and emphasis than necessary, Steven slammed his hand on the podium's button.
An evil look swept across Jeff's face as he pointed toward the main projection screen again.
"They won't let you live it down, you say?" Jeff called out. "Well, let's just find out for ourselves!"
Suddenly, the question was replaced by a live video feed. Over two dozen men and women in 'desert combat fatigues' graced the screen, whooping and hollering while holding a sign that read, 'Good Luck, Lieutenant!'
The third 'standing ovation' came from the audience, this time lasting twice as long as the previous two combined.
"That's right, Steven!" Jeff informed him. "Thanks to our friends at Wade Communications, we have those buddies joining us from an undisclosed location near Baghdad…
"Hey, everybody," Jeff called out, "did you see the question just before we started showing your video feed?"
One Marine, a gunnery sergeant, snapped to attention. She shouted, "SIR, YES SIR…AND THANK YOU FOR THOSE CASES OF 'JEFF THE REDNECK®' BEEF JERKY, SIR!"
As the audience laughed, Steven looked directly at the image and ordered, "As you were, Gunny!"
The Marine immediately rejoined the rest of the group.
'Wow,' Kim thought, 'no delay at all, unlike what happened when Lil MC Honey accepted her Yammy award from her concert in Japan. I wonder how well Wade Communications can put together a web page for my baby-sitting service…'
Jeff turned to Steven and said, "They won't have to razz you about this…because you've just won a hundred grand!!!"
Cheers went up from both the crowd in the building and the group on the screen.
Jeff's attention was turned back toward the projection screen.
"Thank you all," he said, "for serving your country and for joining us today."
Steven raised his fist and shouted, "Semper Fi, Marines!"
"SEMPER FI, SIR!" came the response from the group in unison as the transmission was ended.
As calm was beginning to be restored, Jeff turned to the camera and said, "Steven Barkin goes for $175,000 when we get back!"
The taped music played once again…
Are you smarter than a fifth grader?
'Cause there's gonna be a test later…
-- -- -- -- -- --
Author's ending notes:
1) Like I said last time, maybe I am starting to become predictable in my unpredictability. I figured one way to work on that was to skip the cliffhanger this time.
2) The production of this story, like that for any work of fiction, is solely dependent upon the constructive feedback of its readers. If you like it, I will gladly make more. If you think of ways to make it better, I am always open to suggestions. If you really think it's a piece of garbage, stop me before I strike again!! Once again, Review me, e-mail me if you wanna reach me! If you want to 'PM' me, that's ok!
Your friend in writing,
The Samurai Crunchbird
