Chapter 4:
Three days later, though, I couldn't remain silent anymore. I sat on the balcony with Loki again, and he continued to pester me about whether I was okay. I had been able to tell that he knew I was lying. He knew I was hiding something, but he didn't seem to mind - he knew that I didn't want to trouble him, because he couldn't do anything, knew that I would tell him when I was ready. And whenever I told him I was fine, after the first time, he replied softly, "I know you're not." I could never find a suitable response, however, so Loki would sit back and wait for the next time.
Finally, he asked one last time: "Freya, are you sure you're alright?"
I smiled tightly, because despite how much I didn't want him to know, I admired his persistence and I loved him so much for being concerned that I felt my heart would burst. "No," I finally admitted.
"What's wrong?" he asked gently.
"I -" I looked up miserably at his bright green eyes. "You remember, three days ago, when you found me pacing?"
He nodded.
"That morning - Odin's sending me to Vanaheim. And Nidavellir. And Alfheim. One right after the other, because he says they're fighting and he needs me to patch it up. I won't be back for weeks, and I feel like - something huge is going to happen sometime soon, and I don't want to leave you here alone. Not for Thor's 'big day,' not for whatever's coming. I just don't want to leave." I hugged myself miserably.
Loki looked troubled. "Those realms haven't fought in years," he commented quietly, unknowingly echoing my protest to Odin. Then he leaned forward and grasped my hand, staring straight at my eyes to make sure I couldn't look away and forget about the honesty they held. "Honestly, Freya, I appreciate that you don't want to leave me. I do. But if Father says you need to go, you do."
"What about this whole -" I struggled for the right word, " - intuition I've got? Something really big is going to happen, Loki, and people are going to die." I stared miserably at him. "I don't want you to be one of them."
Loki chewed his lip, an unconscious habit when he was trying to make a decision. "What about Thor?" he asked, sounding hesitant.
"What about him?" I replied, sharper than I'd meant to.
Loki continued doggedly, "Maybe he could help. Talk sense into Father, right?"
I nodded reluctantly. "It's worth a shot."
Ten minutes later, I knocked hesitantly on the door to Thor's chambers. "Come in!" he roared, and I gently slid open the door.
"Cousin!" he laughed. "What a pleasant surprise!"
"Er, right," I muttered. "Thor, listen, I need your help.
"With what?" he asked, frowning.
"Odin has decided that he is sending me to Vanaheim, and other realms for patching up of some disputes," I said quietly. "I don't want to go, and I don't think it's necessary that I do, because everyone knows that Vanaheim, Nidavellir and Alfheim haven't fought in some time. I was hoping you could talk him into letting me stay."
Thor shook his head. "No, cousin, I could not go against the wishes of our king, my father."
I pursed my lips in exasperation. "Please?"
"Why do you want to stay?" he countered.
"I -" I didn't bother trying to tell him about my thoughts on what might happen. "I want to be here for your naming as the heir. And I don't want to leave - certain people."
"Like who?" snapped Thor, suddenly impatient.
I groaned frustratedly. "Okay, do you know I'm not related to you?"
"You are not my cousin?" He sounded disbelieving.
"No. I told you this the first day I got here. I'm sort of your step-cousin. My mother was married to the man who married Frigga's sister after I was born. They're all dead now, but still." I was just as impatient as he. I knew he hadn't been listening to me that day.
Thor frowned some more. "Why does this matter?"
"Because this," I snapped, and I raised my voice: "Loki! Get in here!"
The door swung softly open behind me, and I could picture Loki's face - a mixture of confusion, apprehension, and all-around adorable concern. "You called, Freya?"
I nodded, and he came to stand beside me.
Thor looked confused. "I don't see -"
I sighed exasperatedly. "You wouldn't." I turned sharply and stood on my toes, grasping Loki's shirtfront for support, and pressed my lips against his.
He stood stiffly for a second in surprise, and then he bent his head, causing me to not have to stand on the balls of my feet, and my lips just started to part under his pressure -
Thor's voice cut through: "I understand now!"
I pulled away from Loki, forcing my expression into angry and defiant and trying to ignore the tiny noise of protest that Loki had made. "Good."
Thor looked angry. "So you are my brother's lover."
I laughed. "One way to put it, I suppose."
"For how long?"
"None of your business," I replied. "But not long. However, you do know that we have been friends since I got here."
Thor shrugged. "I do not pay attention."
"Damn good for you that Loki and I do, then," I muttered.
Thor sighed. "I will not help you, cannot go against the wishes of your king, regardless of your -" he looked at Loki in a slightly disgusted way that made my blood boil, " - relationship with my brother."
I took three long strides forward until I was about two feet in front of him. Then I stepped forward one more time and screamed, so loud that he stumbled back and Loki winced and covered his ears, "Someday, Thor Odinson, you will pay for your stupidity!"
Then I spun on my heel and stalked out of the room. Loki seemed to make a weird face and then waved awkwardly at his brother before bolting after me.
I sprinted down the hall, hearing Loki's light footfalls behind me, finally stopping not far from his room. I sat down heavily on a bench, and Loki, breathing kind of hard, sat next to me.
We sat in silence for a moment. Then Loki said, "I'm sorry. That was kind of useless."
I nodded wordlessly, not really trusting myself to speak. But it turned out that I couldn't keep tears back anyway, and they slid silently down my cheeks for a minute before I actually started crying. "I don't want to go," I whimpered, curling into a ball.
Loki wrapped his arms around me and let me rest my head on his shoulder, and after a few minutes it stopped. I laughed wetly. "Sorry I got your shirt all wet."
He shrugged. "It's not that bad."
I sighed. "It must seem weird, that I'm so worked up about this," I said quietly.
Loki shook his head. "Not really. You've always been someone whose emotions - don't rule you, exactly, but to you they're very important and powerful and mean something. You don't hide how you feel or who you are, and I think that's because of two main things: You don't care what they think, usually, and you know you could kick their ass if they commented that they didn't like it. And you always have good reasons for everything."
I stared at him. Despite that it happened all the time, I still got surprised when Loki seemed like he could stare into my soul. "Yeah," I said quietly. "I honestly can't help this, because I feel that something big is coming." I felt like a soothsayer, one who was doomed to repeat her prophecies over and over and over again. "Something is going to happen, something huge, something incredible that nobody will believe or think is possible."
Loki looked unhappy, and it took me only a second to figure out why.
"And, of course, I'm going to miss you," I told him, as if it were obvious. "Also, I really don't want to leave you alone for whatever mess is going to happen, because I don't think that it will go well, whatever it is."
Loki leaned back against the wall, resting his head with a loud sigh. "I don't know what to do, Freya."
"There's nothing you can do," I said, but although the words were sad, I was feeling alright. Loki could tell, and he looked confused.
I laughed. "I've still got one last night with you."
Loki's gaze intensified, sharpened, as if he were more on alert. "How were you planning to say goodbye?" he asked, and I could hear a gentle undercurrent of want under his voice.
I smiled, all predatory and wolfish. "I think you know," I replied softly, and then a few seconds later, his mouth was against mine. I slid my hands up over his chest, to the back of his neck while one of his curled in my hair, pulling my face closer to his. His mouth was hungry against mine, searching for something and it took me only a second to realize what it was. I parted my lips beneath his pressure, and we explored each other's mouths, uncharted territory for both of us.
I suddenly pulled backwards, and Loki groaned, not wanting me to stop. I giggled rather breathlessly. "We can't do this in a hallway, Loki," I pointed out.
He stared at me, the green in his eyes nearly swallowed by the black, his breath incredibly uneven. There was a small dark line on his lower lip, and I couldn't remember whether he had bitten it or I had. "Fine," he said at last.
He suddenly darted forward and scooped me up into his arms, bridal style. I yelped, and he laughed. I looped my hands around the back of his neck, throwing my head back to laugh with him. He took long, quick strides down the hall - towards his room.
