STR2D3PO: I know. I just like the name WWF better, and I thought it would be mildly...amusing? Ironic? For an eleven-year-old boy to use WWF instead of WWE in 2017.

Guest: That Chris Hansen comment made me laugh out loud. I might use that idea for a oneshot.


Lisa Loud watched the monitor as Lola ground herself against Lincoln's leg, her hand rubbing his crotch faster and faster. Lisa adjusted her glasses and leaned forward, her eyes wide and her mouth slack.

"Look at me, Lincoln, look at me, look at me, I love it when you look at me, look at me, watch me."

Lola gasped and began to quake. Lincoln threw his head back and cried out. She flopped forward and he wrapped his arms around her.

Fascinating.

Still, between her legs, Lisa felt nothing. She sighed. She had hoped that watching her brother and sister would inspire at least a faint flutter of sexual desire, but she honestly didn't expect it to. She leaned back in her chair, crossed her legs, and folded her arms. "I would like to enjoy my first time," she said aloud. At this rate, she would be largely indifferent, except perhaps toward the pain of her hymen rupturing. Otherwise, the experience would be cold and mechanical, and though she was no expert on sex, even she realized that that defeated the purpose of recreational intercourse.

On screen, Lola slipped off of Lincoln's lap and sat next to him. A dark patch had formed where she sat. Lisa wondered if she wore underwear or not. The crotch of Lincoln's jeans was still tented and twitching. After a moment of hand holding, Lincoln kissed Lola on the forehead and got up. Lisa heard him several minutes later entering the bathroom, most likely to clean himself up. On the screen, Lola slipped out of her nightgown and pulled her pink dress back on. Next, came the gloves, then, finally, she settled her tiara on top of her blonde head. She looked at herself in the mirror, nodded, then left the room.

When she came into Lisa's room, Lisa turned in her chair. "How was it?" Lisa asked.

"Amazing," Lola replied dreamily. She hugged herself and leaned against the door. "He looked at me the whole time."

"Indeed," Lisa said, making mental note of her older sister's exhibitionistic tendencies. "Are you satisfied?"

"Very."

"Good."

In the bathroom, Lincoln slipped his underwear off and let them pool around his ankles. The light shimmered on the steely surface of his load, and for a moment he simply stared at it, feeling a mixture of shame and...was that nirvana? Call me Kurt Cobain, he thought with a grin.

He turned the shower on and stepped in, the hot water cascading over him. He thought back to what just happened, Lola's sweet face filling his mind, his flaccid penis twitching at the memory of her soft touch. God, what did I do?

Well...he had a great time, that's what he did.

He didn't hear the door creak open over the roar of the shower, didn't know he was no alone until Lucy spoke, and he started, nearly slipping. "Hey, Lincoln."

I am literally not safe anywhere from Spooky McSpookface. He opened the shower curtain just enough to poke his head out. Lucy was sitting on the closed toilet lid, a piece of paper clutched in her hands. She glanced at him, then quickly away, a blossom of crimson touching her cheeks. Lincoln felt himself stir. He took a deep breath. Slow your roll, Casanova, he thought, and for some reason that struck him as funny, and he had to fight back laughter.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I, uh, I wanted you to...you said you were going to listen to my poem."

That's right. He did promise to listen to her poem...before the incident in the hall and the wonderful experience with Lola. "Sure," he said. He pulled his head back into the shower and squirted a shot of body wash onto his loofa. "Read it to me."

He began washing, white soap lathering his chest and stomach.

Lucy coughed, and when she spoke, her voice was shaky. "Well, it starts...We all have darkness inside...uh..."

She sounded so nervous. Of course, her naked brother was two feet away from her, only a thin, nearly translucent shower curtain separating them. She could probably see his outline. He poked his head back out, and caught her craning her neck, as if trying to catch a glimpse of him through the gap. She turned quickly away, her hair swishing against her red face. Her hands shook and she coughed again.

She's...she's enjoying this! She wants to see me!

A grin spread across Lincoln's face. "What's wrong, Luce?" he asked playfully, "you look kind of...anxious."

"It's nothing," she said quickly. He drew the curtain further back, revealing his soapy chest.

"Are you sure?"

She glanced at him and paused, her mouth hanging open. "I-I-I'm fine," she stammered. Her head twitched to the side as if she was trying to look away but couldn't bring herself to. For some reason, the thought of being naked in front of her greatly excited him, and his penis twitched to life, filling with blood. Lucy snapped her mouth closed but continued staring.

"Can I see your eyes?" Lincoln heard himself ask.

"M-My eyes?"

He nodded. "I want to see your eyes."

For a moment she didn't move, then, lifting one hand to her face, she brushed back her bangs. Her eyes were a bright, crystalline blue. They locked gazes. Lincoln pushed the curtain back and stood before her, soap suds coursing down his body, his hard member pointing at her like a possessive finger. She looked down, and her eyes widened, a tiny exhalation escaping her lips. Neither moved for a long time, he enjoying showing, and her enjoying being shown.

"Do you like it?" he finally asked, his voice husky. He was so hard he could feel his load burning against his slit. He was starting to pant. He was incredibly turned on by the feeling of those beautiful blue eyes softly caressing him. I'm such a pervert, he thought, but it was okay, because Lucy was a pervert too and they could be perverts together...they could touch each other, feel each other, and rub against each other until their bodies burst.

She bobbed her head up and down. "Yes," she sighed. "I like it so much."

"Do you want to touch it?"

She bobbed her head up and down. "But I can't."

"Why not?" he asked.

"It's...it's not my day."

His brow furrowed. Did she have a bad day too?

"Oh well," he said, hiding his disappointment. He rubbed his hands down his soapy body. "Your loss."

"Yes it is," she said quickly.

His own touch made his skin tighten. When he reached his dick, he took it in his hand and shifted it left and right, pangs of pleasure rippling through him. "Do you want to watch?"

She nodded again. "Yes, please."

Heart crashing, he ran his hand up and down his shaft. Lucy planted her hands on her knees and leaned forward. Lincoln was so hot he was dizzy. He stroked faster. "I'm pretending it's you," he panted.

"That's hot."

"I'm pretending you're touching me and kissing me."

"Yes," she panted.

Hot pressure gathered in his stomach like a summer storm. He threw he head back and went faster, faster, drawing his orgasm from his deepest depths for his pretty little sister to see. "Lucy," he hitched as he began to swell.

"Do it," she rasped. "Please do it."

He let go, and his seed poured out of him, shooting through the air and landing on Lucy's leg. The second blast hit the hem of her dress, the third splattered her knee, and the fourth landed on the top of her shoe. She moaned.

Lincoln leaned back against the slick wall and swallowed. His heart was slamming so hard it hurt. When he opened his eyes, he saw Lucy rubbing herself through her dress, her arm working furiously. She must have been really hot for him, because in less than a minute she was trembling. With a loud gasp, she leaned forward and jerked. "God, Lincoln," she said.

"Fun, huh?" he asked and grinned.

She nodded. "Um-hmmm."


You'd think it would be awkward seeing your sisters at the dinner table after doing...things with them. It wasn't. While the others chattered and made jokes (Luan...ugh...shut up!), Lincoln silently ate his beans and franks and snuck glances at Lucy and Lola. A tiny grin touched Lucy's face, and she looked down at her plate. She was still wearing the same clothes he came on: He looked for, and found, the wet spots where he landed. Lola winked and blew him a kiss.

For the rest of the evening, he tried to clear his mind. He basically had sex with one of his sisters and masturbated in front of another. He knew how messed up that was, knew that he should be sickened and ashamed of himself. But he wasn't. At all. In fact, he felt a swelling of pride.

That night, he relived the experiences in his dreams, only the one with Lucy was different. In the dream, she stripped naked and got into the shower with him. They pressed their wet bodies against one another and kissed deeply as the water pounded down on them. It was so vivid that when he woke to the first faint strands of morning light, he could taste her mouth. He smiled and rolled over, snuggling deeper into the blanket. He drifted back off, but woke again a half an hour later when his alarm went off. He slapped the OFF button and sat up. He was rock hard, his member staining against the fabric of his underwear. He slipped his hand in but stopped, an idea coming to him.

A voice in the back of his head told him he was a pervert and it was sick, but he didn't care. He got up and went into the hall. Leni, Lynn, Luan, and Luna were waiting in line for the bathroom, Lynn dancing from one foot to the other as though she had to pee, Luna's arms crossed over her chest, and Luan standing with slumped shoulders and her head tossed back. Lynn wore socks and an oversized jersey that almost reached her knees; Luan was wearing a white nightgown; Luna was wearing purple gym shorts and a black tanktop; Leni was dressed in her aquamarine gown.

Lincoln's eyes crept over them, and while he felt something, he didn't want to see them, he wanted them to see him.

He walked up and stood behind Lynn. "Gotta go?" he asked.

Lynn turned, her lips sucked in. She nodded urgently...then her eyes flicked down. "Jesus, Linc!" she said, recoiling, "put that thing away!"

"Put what away?" Luan asked. She turned, and her jaw dropped. "I see you're already having a hard day, Linc."

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently and crossed his arms.

"Like, you're gonna put someone's eye out," Leni said.

He looked down at himself. "Oh. Oops."

"You're doing this on purpose, bro," Luna said, her brows knitted, "not cool. We're your sisters."

Hot shame streaked across Lincoln's face, and he suddenly felt like a piece of shit. "It happens," Luan said, her eyes lingering on his bulge. "No big. Well...it is big, but..."

"Looks like a baseball bat," Lynn said. She looked...intimidated? "I feel sorry for Ronnie Anne. You're gonna rip her in half...if you haven't already."

Lincoln blushed. Suddenly self-conscious, he covered himself with his hands. Yeah, I should have listened to that little voice.

"At least he doesn't have to sneak over to her house at night," Luan said, "he can just stick it out the window and reach..."

The bathroom door opened and Lori came out, wiping her hair with a towel. "Alright," she said, "bathroom's..." she trailed off when her eyes opened and landed on Lincoln. "Ew, gross!"

To herself: He's as big as Bobby...and he's only eleven! Kid must be part horse.

Blushing, Lincoln turned around and faced away from them. "There. My horrible, disgusting, totally unnatural erection is gone. Go about your morning."

He did not see the disappointment in Lynn and Luan's eyes, or the way Leni licked her lips...