Olivia woke from where she had collapsed on the couch. She had just intended to close her eyes for a few minutes…or maybe take a short nap. But she knew, by the way the shadows slanted across the room, she must have slept for hours. She stretched her body and tried to clear the fog from her sleep-addled brain, pushing herself up until she was sitting on the edge of the couch.
Olivia scrubbed her hands over her face and considered climbing into bed and sleeping until morning. But her stomach was rumbling slightly, and she needed a shower, so bed would have to wait for a bit. But she was definitely going to be in bed early.
The exciting life of a single woman in New York…
Olivia pushed herself off the couch and padded into the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator door and pondered the contents.
Looks like she'd be ordering in…
Olivia headed for her bedroom, pulling her t-shirt over her head as she crossed over towards her bed. She tossed it on the floor, and then stripped off the rest of her clothing. She walked into the bathroom and started the water, brushing her teeth while the water warmed up. She let out a heavy sign as she stepped inside, and the warm water sluiced down her body. She braced her hands against the wall, and closed her eyes, trying to let everything that had happened in the past 24 hours disappear down the drain.
She breathed in slowly, and let it out just as slowly, but it wasn't working.
She knew she wouldn't feel better until Sam left town, and things with Elliot returned to normal. She didn't know why this secret weighed so heavily on her, when she'd made an artform of keeping secrets all these years.
Olivia let her head drop back, letting the hot water stream down her face, while she attempted to push unbidden thoughts of Elliot out of her mind. When the water started to cool, she lathered her hair and her body, and turned off the water. As soon as she had dried her skin and towel-dried her hair, she slipped her robe back on her body. She was smoothing lotion on to her legs when she heard a knock at the door. She paused, listening to see if it repeated.
An image of Sam standing outside her door, just as he had the night before, popped into her mind, and she felt herself tense immediately. Her rationale mind knew there was no way for him to get into the building, yet she knew he could have easily snuck in as another tenant went in or out. People weren't exactly good about keeping strangers out.
Olivia heard another round of knocking, and she walked as quietly as possible towards her door. She knew she was being ridiculous. Her door was locked. She didn't have to let him in. Still…maybe he would think she wasn't home, and he'd just leave.
When she reached the door, she pressed one palm against the wood and leaned in to look through the peephole. She took a quick step back when she saw it was Elliot at her door.
Olivia stood there for a moment, wondering what the hell he was doing there. She had made it clear that she was tired and that she didn't want to go out, which he should have understood to mean that she didn't want any company. She leaned in and looked through the peephole again, trying to gauge if he was alone. But he was standing close to the door, and the fisheye view didn't let her see anything else.
"Liv! I know you're home."
Olivia knew from the tone of his voice that he wasn't going to leave. She removed the safety chain, turned the deadbolt, and clutched the top of her robe closed as she opened the door. "Elliot. What are you doing here?"
Elliot lifted up a paper bag he held in his right hand. "I thought you might want some dinner."
Olivia shook her head slightly. "I'm not really hungry…I just woke up…" She furrowed her brows again. "I told you I was just going to crash…"
Elliot looked past her, but he couldn't really see into the apartment. His eyes darted back to Olivia, and he took in her wet hair and her robe. "Am I interrupting something?"
"What?" Olivia was puzzled by his question and she shook her head again. "No."
"Can I come in?"
"El…really? I just took a shower…" Olivia couldn't even finish her sentence before he interrupted her.
"I went all the way to your favorite deli, and then came all the way over here." He knew he was pushing it, but there was no reason to keep him from coming in, unless she had something to hide.
"That's like, ten blocks." Olivia said matter-of-factly. She was really tired, and she just wanted to put her pajamas on and crawl into bed.
"Still…" Elliot took a step closer, forcing Olivia to take a step back, and he knew then that she was going to let him in. "C'mon." Just as he'd hoped, Olivia let out a resigned sigh, and took a step back, making room for him to come into the apartment.
Olivia ushered him into the kitchen as soon as the door closed behind him. She felt uncomfortable standing in her robe, and she needed to get some clothes on. "I'll be right back."
Elliot watched her go, trying to keep his mind from wandering…knowing that she wasn't wearing anything beneath that thin robe. He heard the bedroom door close behind her and he took a quick survey of her apartment. He didn't see any shoes by the door or any of the other telltale signs that someone was there in the apartment, but that didn't mean anything. He debated getting closer to her bedroom door to see if he could hear any muffled voices…but he realized he was being ridiculous.
Then a new thought slammed into him. Maybe Olivia had been taking a shower in anticipation of Sam coming over. Maybe she hadn't wanted him to come in because she was expecting Sam later tonight.
Elliot stood poised in the foyer…mulling over his thoughts, when he heard Olivia's bedroom door opening. He rushed back into the kitchen and started unpacking the sandwiches and salad from the deli. He'd barely gotten them out of the bag when she rounded the corner. Elliot glanced up, seeing she had donned some black leggings and an oversized sweater. With how quickly she had changed, he wondered if she'd even taken time to put anything on underneath.
Then he chastised himself for even thinking about that. He added it to the growing list of untoward thoughts that he'd have to confess to in church tomorrow.
Olivia really hadn't wanted company, but she had to admit she was hungry. And now that she saw the sandwiches on the counter, her stomach grumbled. Elliot must have heard it because he grinned down at her, but he didn't say anything.
Olivia grabbed a couple of plates and Elliot unwrapped everything. She opened the refrigerator. "I have water or wine. No beer."
"Water."
They both moved into her living room and Olivia took one of the oversized chairs. Elliot grabbed a spot on the couch, and they ate in silence for a few minutes. Elliot wanted to ask her about Sam, but he knew he didn't have any right to interfere in her love life…or did he?
No.
Well…maybe. Sam was his friend, and Olivia was his…his…
Just…his.
Elliot swallowed hard and let out a sigh.
Olivia could tell that Elliot had something on his mind. He was fidgeting, she heard sigh after sigh, and there just seemed to be a general sense of unease about him. She wanted to ask him, but then again, she didn't. She was still afraid that any questions would open up a discussion about Sam, and she didn't want that. She picked up her phone to check the time, looking for a distraction, wondering how long he was going to stay.
"Expecting a call?" Elliot asked.
"Just checking the time." Olivia said, setting her phone back on the coffee table.
"Hmmpph." Elliot commented, taking the last bite of his sandwich.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing." Elliot said. He waited another beat, and then decided he could probe a little without giving himself away. "I just thought…you know…that maybe you had a date tonight."
"If I had a date tonight, I would have told you."
"Because you always tell me when you're going out with someone?" Elliot couldn't think of the last time Olivia had shared that kind of information with him. It had been a long time.
"It's not like we tell each other every single thing going on in our lives." Olivia retorted.
"We used to." Elliot said.
Olivia shrugged her shoulders. She didn't know if that was true, but there had been a time when they'd been more open with each other for sure. "I wouldn't say we told each other everything."
"So, your keeping secrets from me?"
Olivia was getting exasperated. "I didn't say that, but you don't know every little thing about me." She leaned in slightly and set her plate down on the table. "What secrets do you think I'm keeping from you?"
Now it was Elliot's turn to shrug. "I don't know. That's the point." He saw her roll her eyes. "Maybe you don't tell me certain things because you think I won't approve."
"I have news for you El. I don't need your approval."
"What about when that jackass from homicide asked you out? I saved you from making a mistake there."
Olivia had known he would bring that up. "Even if I had gone out with him, I think I could have handled myself."
"Yeah, but that wouldn't have kept him from spreading false rumors about you. You've heard the things he's said about other women…"
Olivia put up a hand. "We don't need to rehash that." She let out a sigh as she dropped her hands. "We will just agree that you saved the day. Your intervention was much appreciated. Happy now?"
Elliot heard the sarcasm in her voice, and it made him a little angry. "Seriously?"
Olivia could tell he was a little pissed off, and she didn't want to get into it with him right now. "El, I always appreciate it when you watch out for me. OK?" Honestly, she didn't even know how they got on this topic. She let out an exasperated sigh. "I don't even know why we're talking about this. I don't have a date tonight. If I did, I would tell you…and would kick you out so I could get ready." She was about to tell him that she didn't keep any secrets but didn't want to push her luck with a lie.
Elliot leaned back on the couch as he realized he had to change tactics if he was going to get the information he wanted. "I'm glad you got to spend some time with Sam. We've been friends for a long time, and I wanted you to get to know him."
Olivia nodded non-commitally, pressing her lips together. She tried to keep her expression neutral.
Elliot leaned forward again. "I really had hoped that the two of you would hit it off. I wanted you to like him." He knew he sounded kind of idiotic, but it didn't keep him from pressing her. "You like him, right?"
Olivia could tell Elliot was fishing, but she wasn't sure of his angle. She couldn't say she was happy they'd be introduced or that she liked him, so she went on the offensive instead. "Sure." She said. "I'm not sure what you want me to say."
"You seemed to be having fun last night." Elliot said. "The two of you were flirting…"
"We were all goofing around." Olivia corrected. Elliot had been flirting with her too, and she'd given it right back at him. "And you wanted us to get to know each other."
"Yeah, but Sam can be charming, and it just seemed like…" Elliot shrugged. "Maybe there was something there." He couldn't believe he'd said that out loud.
"Are you asking me if I'm interested in Sam?" Olivia asked incredulously. Even before Sam had shown up at her door, she had never even considered dating him. She didn't even give Elliot time to respond. "I would never even consider dating a friend of yours." She couldn't believe he would even think that.
"I didn't say you were interested in dating him."
"Then what…" Olivia's voice trailed off as the meaning behind Elliot's words slammed into her. "Wait. You think I slept with him?" She was trying to wrap her head around his accusation. It pissed her off because he had no idea what had happened, and now he was accusing her of sneaking off for some kind of secret tryst.
"I didn't say that." Adopting an air of innocence. "But interesting that it's what you think I meant."
"You're trying to tell me that's not what you're insinuating?" She didn't buy his act. She was sitting straight up in her chair right now, and the volume of her voice was increasing now as her anger spiked.
Elliot was getting angry himself by her continued denial and the tone of her voice…as if his accusation was unfounded. "I'm just saying that there's something going on between the two of you. And it's not like you're a stranger to one-night stands."
Olivia knew she had a history that she couldn't deny, going all the way back to a misstep with Cassidy when she and Elliot were first partners. But for him to stand there and make he feel like her sexual history was something to be ashamed of was going too far. She never would have expected that from him, and she was struck speechless.
Elliot realized his jealousy had made him take things too far, and he immediately regretted what he'd said. "Liv…"
Olivia stood up. "I need you to leave right now." She said vehemently. She was shaking with anger, and her hands curled into fists at her side.
"I didn't mean what I said." Elliot said, trying to apologize as he stood up. He knew he only had minutes before she forced him out…and he knew he deserved it. "I just…the idea of you and Sam…it's killing me." His admission surprised him, and he saw Olivia was slightly taken aback by it as well.
She had taken his comment as some kind of confession, but then she realized she was painting it with her own feelings about Elliot, and she reexamined it for what it was. "My sex life is none of your goddamned business." She said through gritted teeth. "But I told you before…I would never, ever think about having any kind of relationship with a friend of yours, so you can stop worrying about it." She was barely controlling her anger at this point.
"I saw the two of you…" Elliot started, unable to stop himself.
"I don't know what you think you saw, but leave it alone El." Olivia said, her voice harboring a warning. "You have no idea what you're talking about. Believe me."
Elliot heard the warning in her voice, but he was frantically running through the exchanges he'd seen between her and Sam…reexamining what he thought he knew…and he couldn't get the certainty of what he'd seen out of his mind. "But I saw you two together."
"What did you see?" Olivia challenged, unsure of exactly what he'd witnessed. She shook her head quickly because she didn't want to open up this line of questioning. "Never mind. I'm telling you, you saw nothing." She started moving away from him. "You need to go."
Elliot could see she had gone from being angry to being upset and he knew he must be wrong, but her lack of explanation was confusing him. He reached out and snagged her arm. "Wait." He saw the expression on her face as she turned back to face him…and she was definitely upset. He dropped his hand, fearful she would insist again that he leave, but she stood there, just looking at him. He could see her eyes were slightly glassy and now he was nonplussed. Olivia didn't cry. "Talk to me."
Olivia couldn't speak for fear she'd break down. She had underestimated how much the incident with Sam had shaken her…or maybe it was keeping it from Elliot. Or maybe it was both. But she really needed Elliot to leave because if he kept pushing her, she didn't trust herself not to tell him what had happened.
Elliot saw her shaking her head slightly as she pressed her lips together, and he knew that whatever she was trying so hard not to tell him was on the tip of her tongue.
"Liv…I'm sorry. I thought…" Now he was getting really upset himself. "Please…talk to me."
Olivia swallowed hard. She couldn't tell him. She didn't want to come between he and Sam. Sam would be gone tomorrow, and it would be over. Elliot would forget about it. "It's nothing." She choked out, her voice barely more than a whisper. "A disagreement. Nothing more."
Elliot wasn't buying it, but he was still confused. He didn't know if she was upset because of an argument between her and Sam, and she was minimizing it. Or if she was upset because of the way he had marched over here and attacked her…accused her. "Olivia." He pleaded.
"Go home El." Olivia said, biting down to keep the tears at bay. Then she turned and walked to the door, opening it up, her eyes focused on the floor.
Elliot knew she wasn't going to talk to him, and he felt like an absolute asshole.
Olivia felt him hesitate at the door, but she didn't look up at him. She couldn't. The last thing she heard was his whispered apology, and then he was gone.
AN: Argh! Did you think she'd tell him? I did too! But that's not the way it came out! More to come…
