Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Spiderman.

Chapter Four: Mass Chaos-err, Dinner At Akatsuki


It was a little known fact that Konoha got a lot of earthquakes, and nobody was quite sure why. Various theories ranging from angry gods to belching echoes had been presented. One obscure scientist had come up with some theory that had to do with fault lines, but nobody listened to him. After all, who believed in fault lines, anyway?

But that's beside the point. The point is that the real reason for the earthquakes was the last thing anyone suspected. In fact, it had never crossed anyone's mind and if it had the person would have been labeled as insane or paranoid, so unlikely was this reason. It did, however, explain a lot of otherwise inexplicable occurrences, such as the fact that Sasuke always had the nagging feeling that someone was watching him and, of course, the earthquakes.

The reason is that directly below the famous village of Konoha (specifically, below the Uchiha Household) is the base of the equally infamous Akatsuki organization. Bet you didn't see that coming. But that doesn't explain the earthquakes- or does it? (Cue dramatic zooming in on the dinner table of Akatsuki).

Itachi wandered into the dining room, ducking casually as a glass plate came flying past, with his cat following at his heels. Deidara, who was in the process of throwing another plate at Kisame, went white at the sight of the cat and immediately escaped to the relative safety of the kitchen. The Akatsuki leader, who was standing in the darkest spot of the room, his eyes the only part visible, started sneezing as soon as the cat entered the room. He glared at Itachi. "That's it! If that cat isn't gone in the next five seconds I'm kicking you both out of Akatsuki!" Itachi just stared at him blankly, knowing that the leader, for all that he was the leader, didn't have the authority to kick him out. That required a majority vote, curtsey of the democracy system. Yes, the Akatsuki is a democracy. The hidden villages could stand to learn a few things from them.

Back in the kitchen, Deidara had started singing "And the cat came back. And it wouldn't go away. And the cat came baaaack" in a very out-of-tune and high-pitched voice that was followed by the sound of glass breaking and Sasori screaming. There was a loud 'thump' and Deidara came running from the room with a large lump on his head. He cheered up, however, when he spotted Kisame.

"Kisame! Kisame! Guess what Sasori's making for dinner! Shark-fin soup!" Kisame got a strange look on his face before Itachi broke in.

"Deidara, stop making things up. You poured paint all over the last of the shark-fins last night." Deidara paused to consider this.

"Oh yeah. Oops."

Itachi's eye twitched. "I still haven't paid you back for eating my pocky, have I?" Deidara went pale. Everyone knew firsthand how protective Itachi was of his pocky from when he'd found out that Orochimaru had been using it to summon Manta. That hadn't been pretty. In fact, that had been the reason Orochimaru had left the Akatsuki in the first place. Itachi's eye twitched again. Up on the surface, a huge earthquake rocked the foundations of the village.


"Geez, what's with all the earthquakes." A visiting merchant wondered.


Back at the base, Itachi was standing in the rubble of what used to be the dining room. Suddenly, his eyes glazed over. "My Sasuke senses are tingling." He muttered before sprinting off towards the exit, leaving Deidara and Kisame, who hadn't gotten out of the room in time, twitching in the rubble. Sasori stuck his head out of the kitchen, which was untouched, and looked at the scene. He sighed and went back to cooking. He was not going to clean that up.


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