Thank you so much once again, especially to those who I cannot respond directly to. Huge thank you to Bee once again as well.


The almost-disaster of the rescue had shaken up everyone more than they would care to admit. Whilst it was perfectly clear that they weren't coping as a family, knowing they were missing one of their own, Scott knew they hadn't all been thinking along the same lines when it came to International Rescue. They had always been forced to put aside their personal feelings while on a mission, and they had all assumed that they would be able to carry on because of that. But this had proven otherwise. Not only because of the fact that Virgil had only just been able to control Four - and if it had been any of the others, they would have crashed. That was worrying, but it was something that they could work on, improve and make sure didn't happen again.

Sitting out on the beach, perched up on a boulder so he could gaze out to Gordon's beloved ocean, Scott sighed. The rescue had been over a day ago, and yet he couldn't get it out of his head. It wasn't the machinery that was the problem. It was them. Virgil's and Alan's argument was playing heavily on his mind, and he knew his distraction was showing more than normal. It was why he had isolated himself out here. Alan avoided this beach like the plague these days, and Virgil didn't like coming out here. John, on the other hand, was nearly always on it when he was at home, claiming it was the last part of the island Gordon had been on so therefore allowed him to be closer to his brother. But with John up in space, he could almost guarantee that he would be left alone, and right now, that was what Scott needed. He had to make sense of what had happened out there.

They had all claimed they would be fine, yet the argument showed that they were all deluding each other, possibly even themselves. Virgil and Alan had fought the whole way out there because they both wanted to make sure that they didn't let Gordon down. Was that going to be something that happened every time they needed Four? Or even every time there was a rescue that needed a co-pilot for Virgil, the role that Gordon normally took unless the situation dictated otherwise? As their Field Commander, Scott couldn't afford to have the team this disjointed. It was okay this time because they had worked it out by the time they reached the rescue zone, but what would happen when they didn't? When Alan's temper got the better of him and Virgil's determination meant he wouldn't back down? Scott had seen first-hand how heated those arguments could get, and whilst – as their brother - he could see where they were coming from, as their Field Commander, he simply couldn't allow it to happen.

Sighing heavily, Scott stared with unseeing eyes out to the ocean, wondering if the soothing motion of the waves would calm his wild thoughts down. He was so lost in the movement that he jumped violently when his watch suddenly vibrated. Rolling his eyes, Scott knew that this shouldn't have come as a surprise.

"Virg ask you to find me, Johnny?"

"Um... hey?"

"And they call me the protective one. What's up?"

"Me." The joke fell flat. It was something that they had been saying since John took his first rota, and normally it could raise a smile just because of how repetitive it had become. It was a standard response, and something was wrong when it wasn't said. Yet this time, Scott couldn't bring himself to smile.

"Okay, yes. Virg is worried; he says that he hasn't seen you for hours and he knows you took what happened at that rescue pretty badly even if the others think you have shrugged it off. He seemed to know that you would be out here, but as he pointed out, you can't run away from me."

"I can cut you off," Scott responded drily with no real heat in his voice. He should have known that Virgil would have picked up on his mood. He had left the house straight after breakfast, knowing full well that he would be in for an earful if Kyrano realised that he had been out running regardless of the man's attempts to get him to strengthen his ankle first. He couldn't help it, he had too much on his mind to stay around the house and constantly be asked if he was okay. If he was honest, Scott wasn't sure he knew the answer to that right now. Not considering that a thought which had been playing on his mind in an almost tantalising manner over the last few days had now firmly taken hold. He didn't want the others to be able to read that thought in his expression before he had a chance to explain.

"I'd just over-ride you."

"Can you do that?"

"Stop deflecting, Scott."

Hearing the long-suffering note in John's voice, Scott had to smirk. Virgil might know him too well, but he wasn't the only one. John knew full well why Scott would try and force the conversation down another route; he just didn't want the attention to be turned back onto him. Or rather, onto the fact that he had no idea whether International Rescue could continue given the way things were going.

"What do you want, John?"

There was almost a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line and Scott had to wince. Even to himself, he had sounded drawn and tired. For a man his age, with the lifestyle that he led, there was no way that Scott should have sounded like that.

"I want to know what is going on with you, big brother. I want to know why you are hiding in the one place that you know no one will follow you to because it hurts them too much. Which, to be honest, Scotty, is rather low."

"I'm fine, John, I just... I can't do it anymore." Scott hadn't meant for the words to escape him, yet all he could do was hope that because he had uttered them so quietly, John wouldn't have heard. He knew it was just wishful thinking: nothing escaped John's hearing, it was why he was their main Space Monitor in the first place. He could pick up distress even when it was being hidden.

"Can't do what?"

Scott had to hand it to him. John still sounded completely and utterly calm, and his brother realised that was what made him so great on rescues. If he was fazed by something, he didn't let it show. Scott, however, wasn't quite sure what he should say. Now that he had said it out loud, he knew the thoughts had been turning over in the back of his mind for a while. But somehow, he wasn't sure whether it should be John that he confessed it all to.

"Scott. What can't you do?"

Scott half-shrugged, kicking at a rock by his feet. John wouldn't have needed to see him in order to know what his brother was doing. Judging by the hiss of breath, John seemed to have realised what Scott was implying.

"International Rescue? That's what you can't do?"

"I can't be their Field Commander, John. I can't let them just go off, knowing that each movement they make out there could be their last. Yes, I know we all knew the risks when we signed up, don't try and quote that to me. But they argued the whole way out there over who would make Gordon proud. I shouldn't have let Virgil take the risk of going in Four when we weren't sure what was waiting for him. I should have done it! I should have stopped him, I should have noticed that something was wrong when he got back..."

"Scott, stop." John had once again heard Scott's slip. He was no longer talking about the rescue that they had just been on, regardless of the complications that had arisen. He was thinking of the rescue that had ultimately cost Gordon his life.

"No, John. I'm serious. I can't be the one that makes the decisions anymore. I sent him into that tunnel, I got him killed."

"And any of the others would have made the same call. You mean to say that you would be far happier to just sit back and let them fly to rescues without you there to guide them through it?"

"No. I will be far happier if they don't fly anywhere. The rest of the world thinks that we are all sponging off Dad's money, living a life of luxury whilst occasionally putting in an appearance at the offices to prove we are still alive. Why shouldn't we really live like that?"

"You'd get bored in a day." John knew that he was fighting a losing battle and cursed the fact that Scott had decided to have this conversation whilst he was stuck in space. If he was down there, he might be able to talk some sense into his brother, but having to only guess what was being said through Scott's body language as well as his words meant he couldn't quite work out just how serious the older man was about what he was saying.

"Maybe. But you guys would be safe. You'd be home, Johnny, you wouldn't have to spend months in space, stuck listening as we constantly put ourselves in danger."

"Damnit, Scott, don't do this," John muttered, knowing that his older brother was convincing himself more and more with each word he said that this was the right course of action.

Scott's eyes had returned to the ocean, but instead of calming him down, the motion of the waves was just making him more and more determined. He had promised their mother that he would look out for the boys, that he would keep them safe no matter what it took. The Hood had forced him to break that promise, yet Scott knew it was International Rescue that had put them all in the position in the first place.

"Sorry, John."

"I'm going to talk to Dad."

"You do that. It's not going to make me change my mind, you know." There was something almost calm in Scott's voice now. He had acknowledged the thought and he had voiced it out loud. Now that someone knew, he couldn't go back on the thought. He wouldn't back down on this, regardless of what the others said. No one could order him out there, and he knew his father's state of mind well enough at the moment to know that there was no way Jeff would let the others go without him. The boys might hate him but Scott knew if he held his ground, he would get his way. Better to have them hate him than being constantly put in danger.

Scott could hear the pause on the other end of the line, knew that John was trying to think of something to say in order to avoid the conversation that he knew he was about to have. Scott stayed quiet, though. He had meant what he said: nothing was going to change his mind.

After the silence stretched on for a long moment, John swore and abruptly disconnected.

"Sorry, kiddo," Scott muttered into thin air, his eyes once more resting on the waves. John was mistaken if he believed that Scott wanted to do this. But he had seen what had happened the day before, how he could have so easily lost Virgil if he wasn't as good at his job as he was. If Alan had won that argument, if he had insisted that he be the one to go, then Scott knew they would be another family member down. He couldn't live with that any more. It had been fine when they were all safe and joking about any disasters or near misses even if it was with a couple of bruises while doing so. But now Gordon had actually been killed, it was a whole different story. Six months later and they were still struggling. It couldn't happen again. Scott wouldn't let it happen again.

How long he sat out on the beach for, he had no idea. It had to be at least midday by the time he knew that he should return to the house. Stretching out his legs and beginning to walk up the now familiar path, Scott took in a deep breath of fresh air. If he was lucky, it was just their father that John had spoken to. If he was unlucky, Alan would know. And if fate decided to really make him suffer, then Virgil would know, and Scott was fully aware that there would be no escape from the artist when he found out what had been going through Scott's head. Or rather, what had been going through Scott's head that he had adamantly not told Virgil about.

Fate, apparently, hated him.

The house was silent as Scott carefully let himself in, still not wanting to draw any attention to himself. He had left in a hurry that morning, so even if no one knew about the conversation he had just had with John, there would still be questions being asked that he didn't want to answer. His grandmother, for one, was a person he particularly wanted to avoid. He didn't want to say why he had only half-eaten his breakfast, why he had got out of the house before Alan had even got out of bed and then not returned for hours. Somehow, he just knew that she would fuss and he simply wasn't in the mood for it. It would be better if he could just avoid everyone until he had spoken to his father. He knew that John would have meant what he said, his brother would have contacted their father the second he had disconnected, no doubt worried about what was going through his brother's head. Scott took a few quiet yet swift steps through the kitchen, wondering if he could get away with it.

"Going somewhere, are we?"

"Friggin' hell, Virg..." Blowing out a breath in surprise, Scott turned even as he tried to ignore how hard his heart was pounding. All had seemed quiet, he hadn't expected anyone to be around. Not that Virgil was making himself obvious, instead just leaning against the wall in the corner, arms folded across his chest and a glare on his face. Inwardly groaning, Scott didn't need to ask what had put that expression there: Virgil had obviously heard from John. The artist pushed himself away from the wall, stalking towards Scott as he did so.

"But then again, it's not like we are going anywhere. Not considering you have taken it upon yourself to ground us. Without asking what we thought about it first."

"Virg, it's not like that. I can explain..."

"Then shoot, Scott, because this isn't you."

It was only then that he realised Virgil had moved past him, now effectively blocking his way to the door. He could still get back outside, yet he knew that Virgil wasn't going to let him go that easily.

"How do you know? You can't read my mind, Virgil."

"Can't I? I know full well when you are hiding something from me, and you've been thinking this for at least two weeks, three days and four hours. Ever since you saw Alan wearing Gordon's old sweater when he and John were going through some of the readouts from earlier rescues. So don't you dare tell me that I don't know you."

Scott didn't even pretend to be surprised, but just rolled his eyes, ignoring the fact that Virgil had rather harshly poked him in the chest as he spoke.

"If you know that I've been thinking it for so long, why didn't you say something?" he muttered, making to try and push past his brother. Virgil simply grabbed hold of his arm and spun him back around.

"Because it was up to you to say something, you idiot! Not to mention I hoped that you would stop thinking like such a jerk and realise that the rest of the world needs us." The anger and frustration were obvious in both Virgil's voice and his eyes, and that simply caused Scott to shove him back. Did Virgil not realise that Scott needed them safe more than he needed the rest of the world to think that they were doing a good job? Somehow, he had a feeling that that argument would fall on deaf ears. He was not the only protective brother around, meaning that Virgil would have been thinking some of the same things as him. Yet unlike the Field Commander, Virgil was clearly quite happy to carry on risking everything. Scott, however, was not about to let that happen.

"And what about what I need, Virg? You say you know me so well, then you tell me this: when was the last time that I did something that I wanted and screw the rest of the world?" Despite his initial hope that he would be able to avoid facing the rest of the family, Scott knew that his voice had risen to a shout. Yet at the same time, it wasn't Virgil he was angry at. It was the whole situation. He should have known that his brother would be waiting for him, that he would have known what was going through Scott's mind even before his older brother had voiced it. But regardless of how determined he was that his brothers would no longer be putting themselves in danger, there was something troubling him. Scott knew how well Virgil knew him – and Virgil knew that Scott knew it. Meaning that they were both aware that if anyone was going to get him to change his mind, it would be the annoyed artist standing in front of him. Virgil's arms were once again folded across his chest as he glared at his brother.

"And this is what you want, is it? For us all to just sit here, live a nice playboy life and prove that the rest of the world were right about us? I know how much it annoyed you how they all viewed us, but it was okay because we knew differently. But now, this is what you want, is it, Scotty? To prove that they were right?"

"Yes." Scott's voice lowered, but he was quite proud of how it didn't waver in the slightest. It was the last thing that he wanted, and John had been right when he said that Scott would get bored within a day. He was used to putting himself out there, being involved in the action. It was why he had joined the Air Force before realising that his father's dream was becoming a reality.

"Bullshit."

Scott closed his eyes with a groan, suddenly finding himself leaning against the counter with no real memory of how he had got there. Damn Virgil for being able to read him so well.

"It doesn't matter what I want," Scott muttered quietly, completely contradicting his earlier statement, but being truthful this time. "What matters is that you guys are safe. I won't go out there again and make a decision that could put your life in danger."

"It's not your call to make, Scott. Not on your own."

"It's my call whenever we are out there."

"Only because we trust you!" It was Virgil's turn to shout now, clear frustration obvious in his voice. "We wouldn't go and do what you say if we thought that you were being an idiot."

"I'm sorry, Virg. Really, I am. But even you won't change my mind on this, I want you guys safe." Scott moved forward, intending to brush past Virgil in order to make his way into the rest of the house. Scott knew what his brotherwas saying made sense, but that didn't mean that he was prepared to listen to it. He had made up his mind on this, and no matter what Virgil said, he was going to make sure he stood firm. If the rest of the family knew that even Virgil couldn't get him to change his mind, then maybe they wouldn't waste their time trying.

His brother wasn't apparently about to let him go that easily and grabbed Scott's arm, spinning him back around.

"Gordon wouldn't want you to give up!" he hissed, anger in his eyes.

But he had said the wrong thing. Scott reached up himself, grabbing the front of Virgil's shirt and violently shoving him back a few steps.

"Gordon gave his life to make sure that we were safe. He died to protect us, Virgil. Don't pretend to think otherwise. I am not about to let that sacrifice be in vain by having you throw away your lives just so a complete stranger can live. Not this time. This time I am being the selfish one. The world coped before us, it can cope again now, but damnit, I'm not losing any more of you!"

"Scott, you can't do this!" Virgil pushed at Scott's hand, but his brother wasn't prepared to let go just yet.

"Do you mean to say that you didn't feel your heart stop when you realised that if either Alan or I had taken Four yesterday, we wouldn't have lived?"

Virgil's hand fell back and he stared at his brother.

"That's what I thought. I know I'm not the only one wanting this, Virg. Maybe no, I don't want International Rescue to stop, and I don't want to be just sitting on an island my whole life. But in all reality, I don't particularly care. The rest of you would be safe and happy, John and Alan wouldn't have to spend half their time in space. You can't tell me that you would turn down the opportunity to have them home?"

"Scott, please. You say you don't want Gordon's sacrifice to be in vain. Yes, he would have wanted us safe. But he would have also wanted us to carry on, to not let the rest of the world suffer just because we are hurting."

Scott shook his head, pulling away and beginning to walk off, determined that he wasn't going to listen to Virgil's pleas. His brother would come around, he would see how much better things were when there wasn't constant threat of death hanging over them. But he didn't even reach the kitchen door before their father appeared.

"My office, now." His voice was low and weary, not the normal angry tone when the boys were being summoned to his office. Scott didn't argue, he simply changed direction. He had known from the second he had let slip to John what he was thinking that his father would act like this. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw that Virgil had taken a step forward.

"Not you, son."

"But..."

"Virgil, your grandmother is in the lounge, she heard you arguing. Go and play something to cheer her up, would you?" The note in Jeff's voice made it quite apparent that it was not a suggestion, yet Virgil still glared.

"I don't..."

"Go, Virg, please." There was something imploring in Scott's voice that stopped Virgil glaring. Scott just wanted this conversation out of the way, knowing that it was going to be awkward and painful for both him and his father. The longer Virgil protested, the longer the whole thing would be drawn out. Scott locked eyes with his little brother, an unspoken promise being sent out that he would keep Virgil informed of what was said. Now that the artist knew, Scott knew that it simply wouldn't be fair to keep him in the dark about what happened next. Virgil dropped his gaze, nodded and walked slowly from the room.

"Scott?"

Following his father, Scott slipped into the office and lowered himself into a chair. He had been in here for many reasons over the years, sat in this seat before many a conversation. Yet he wasn't sure if he had ever felt this nervous. He fidgeted as if he was nothing more than a boy as his father perched on the edge of the desk. It was clear that he didn't want to simply sit behind it considering what was going on.

"I just had an interesting conversation with John about you."

"I know," Scott muttered, looking at his hands. He was sure of his decision and the reason why he was doing it, so why did it feel like he was the one in the wrong?

"Is it true?"

Scott just mutely nodded, not sure how to voice what was going through his head. This had been his father's dream, and they had helped him achieve it. But now Scott wanted to bring it crashing down. He wasn't sure how the man was going to react to that. Six months ago, he would have been sure. But nothing seemed predictable with their family any more.

"I can see where you are coming from, son, I really can. The same thought did flicker across my mind a few months ago. But I'm not sure if we can stop."

"What?" Scott sat bolt upright, preparing himself to argue. He knew that his father would have thought about the future of IR, they had already been through one painful conversation shortly after Gordon's death. But for him to sound so dismissive of Scott's reasoning – for the pilot was more than aware of the fact that John would have told him everything – made Scott feel like he wasn't being taken seriously.

"This isn't about us anymore. So many people are involved, every agent is potentially putting their lives in danger by being in contact with us. And the world... The world has grown used to being saved. Would you really let countless people die knowing that you could have been the one to save them?"

"Yes! If I knew it meant that my brothers were safe. I know you feel this too, Dad, you've just admitted it. Why do we have to be the ones to save everyone?"

"Because of Gordon."

"International Rescue got Gordon killed!" Scott was seething, wondering how his own father could be thinking about the bigger picture when he had lost a son.

"And if we stop it, then the Hood-" Jeff ignored the way his son violently flinched at the name, his hands clenching into fists, "-will have won."

"Dad!"

"Destroying us was all he ever wanted. If you let Gordon's death ruin the future for International Rescue, then he will have won. Are you prepared to show the man who destroyed your brother that he got what he wanted? He wanted you dead, Scott, but if IR stops, in his mind, he will have won. Quitting doesn't feel like the right thing to do, Scott. Gordon never was a quitter. Regardless of what the world threw at him, he would never give up. What kind of way to remember him is it to give up on everything that he helped build? If International Rescue continues, then Gordon lives on in the work you do."

Ignoring the way that tears were stinging his eyes, Scott found himself shaking his head. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could his father be just as terrified as he was that one of them would be killed out there, and yet still be able to carry on? Scott didn't understand it in the slightest, and wasn't sure whether he truly wanted to be able to understand it.

But before he could say anything in response, the klaxon went off. Scott simply sat there and stared at his father for a long moment as the man stood up.

"Come on."

"No."

Jeff simply grabbed Scott by the arm and pulled him into the lounge, Virgil having already turned the room into the command centre of International Rescue. John's portrait was active, yet both brothers turned towards Scott as he was pulled in.

Shaking off his father's grip, Scott found himself in his normal position.

"Have you got a clear head, Scott?"

"You're really going to make us go out there considering what we've just spoken about?"

"It's not your decision, Scott!" Virgil yelled, breathing heavily as his father simply shot him a look. Alan skidded into the room, looking between his older brothers and father with wide eyes, but luckily didn't ask.

"Dad..."

"Enough, Scott. Even if I heed what you are saying, there are other things to be taken into account. International Rescue took years to set up. Even if we stop-"

"What?" That told Alan all he needed to know, but whilst John shot him a sympathetic look, no one filled the youngest member of both the family and the organisation in. Instead, both Virgil and John seemed to be watching their father and oldest brother.

"Even if we stop, we can't just not turn up now. I'm not saying that this conversation is over, or that you have got your way. But neither am I saying that Virgil has got his way either. This team isn't just about you two, even if you are the most active in it. We need to discuss this properly, as a family. So let me ask you again, have you got your head on straight?"

"Yes, Sir." Scott's eyes were downcast, but his words were still as strong as ever. His father was right, they couldn't just not show up when someone had put in a call. But Scott was desperately trying to not let himself think like that. For he knew that once he did, he would never be able to stop with a clear conscience, knowing full well that he might have been able to save someone. Determinedly telling himself that it was his brothers he would be saving by not letting them go, Scott stayed quiet.

Jeff nodded approvingly, before turning to John.

"Go ahead."