Chapter Four – Brave Face
Dear Steve,
Do you ever get that feeling where you just want to CRY? Oh…course you don't, you're a BOOK! A lifeless book that has no feelings whatsoever!
Now don't get any funny ideas – I didn't want to cry because of the argument I had last night in detention. Merlin, no! It takes more to make Draco Malfoy cry. Like, say…being HUMILIATED in front of the ENTIRE SCHOOL thanks to a certain PROFESSOR MOODY?
Well, I was looking on the bright side. I learnt something new today – ferrets sweat milk. Most of you could say that you've lived your entire life as a human; Muggle or not. But not me. I'd just spent a small fraction of my life as a small, furry rodent. A ferret, in particular.
"My father and I have a bet, you see." I'd said to Potter. "I don't think you'll last ten minutes in this competition. He disagrees – he reckons you won't last five!"
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. The Triwizard Tournament has come to Hogwarts. Why they wanted to host something like that in this filthy place, I had no idea. The Triwizard Tournament was an extremely famous competition, where three students from different schools competed in three dangerous tasks for eternal glory. It was a total mystery – only students over the age of seventeen could enter the competition, but somehow Harry Potter had chosen from Hogwarts, along with Cedric Diggory from Hufflepuff. From the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic, Fleur Delacour had been chosen and from the Durmstrang Institute of Magic, Viktor Krum.
Anyway, Harry Potter had looked extremely aggravated already, so I decided to annoy him even more. And then came the explosion.
"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOUR FATHER THINKS, MALFOY!" He yelled. "He's violent and cruel…and you're just pathetic."
Yeah, he crossed the line there.
"Pathetic?" I drew my wand and probably would've done some damage to him, but then Professor Moody came and interrupted, shouting something so quickly I couldn't quite catch it. The next thing I knew, everything around me was giant and had gotten twenty times louder. I looked at down and saw that my hands had been replaced with…PAWS! THE HORROR!
I SWEAR THIS WAS ILLEGAL! HE SHOULD GET FIRED FOR THIS!
"You're STINKIN'!" He shouted. He got out his own wand and I felt myself being lifted up into the air and back down again. Up and down, up and down. Students were gathering round as if it was some kind of freak show. He could've at least chosen a cooler animal…like a snake. Or something that wasn't a ferret. He probably would've carried on going if McGonagall didn't find him.
"Professor Moody, is that a student?" She shrieked, watching me bounce up and down. I suddenly had a craving to start eating the grass. Ugh! I needed to change back immediately.
"Technically, it's a ferret!" He corrected. And with a wave of her wand she changed me back to my normal self.
I ran off before he had a chance to transform me into a guinea pig or something. "MY FATHER'LL HEAR ABOUT THIS!" I yelled before I ran off.
"THINK I'M SCARED OF YOUR FATHER, MALFOY?"
"Professor Moody, that is quite enough!" McGonagall said. And that was all I heard as I retreated to the Slytherin common room. Seriously, a ferret? An animal that sweated milk? That ate the grass that people walked on? I shuddered in disgust. That man was sick.
I was in a state of depression when I got back. I'd been playing the argument back in my head all day. "Then why are you choosing wrong?" She'd shouted. That was the worst part of it all. I didn't want to be under that kind of pressure. Voldemort was still pretty much powerless, but anyone with half a brain knew that he was rising again. Then I'd have to choose.
In fact, what was I talking about? I already knew what was going to happen. I'd be forced to choose wrong, wouldn't I? I'd never actually thought this through before. Ever.
My lessons for the day had finished. I didn't feel like eating anything, so I stayed in the common room while the rest of the Slytherins went down to the Great Hall for dinner. I sat down in one of the armchairs in the corner of the common room and shut my eyes, trying to calm myself down and relax, and then I soon faded into a deep sleep…
I was stood in a dark, circular room. There was no light except that of which radiated from a roaring blaze in the fireplace. I looked into the inferno and bit my lip, waiting…
Waiting for what, I didn't know. Just waiting for something to happen. I didn't know how long I was stood there, looking at the fire, but it was a long time. I was lost deep in my own thoughts. There was suddenly a gust of cold, bitter wind and someone burst through the mahogany double-doors behind me. A cold, slow drawl came from behind me. I instantly put the face to the voice in my head.
"Draco Malfoy…" I turned to see him. I was stood in front of the most powerful dark wizard that ever lived. I was stood in front of Lord Voldemort.
I swallowed, waiting for him to say something else. He walked towards me. No, he didn't walk. He glided in a serpentine, snake-like way. His cold slits for eyes never left me. I tried not to look into them.
"Let me see it. Now." He whispered. I knew what he wanted to see. The Dark Mark. His mark.
Suddenly I found it hard to keep my balance. My legs went shaky and I tried to speak, but no sound came from my mouth. Instead, I pulled up the sleeve of my jacket and let him see it. He took hold of my wrist. His hands were cold – no, they were freezing. He had a vice-like grip in my hand and he pulled me closer towards him so that he could take a closer look at the mark on the inside of my arm. His finger marks were still pressed into my skin when he let go, but soon faded. He tutted under his breath.
"I hope you won't disappoint me, Draco," His icy voice sent a shiver down my spine. I was soon going to collapse under the pressure, I was sure of it.
"Don't worry," I replied…
Then I woke up with a gasp. I leant forward in my chair and thought about the dream I'd just had. I blinked as my vision was blurry. My head pounded and my entire body ached as I tried to get up out of the chair. I was fifteen minutes late for the detention. I made my way to the small mirror behind the chair I was asleep in. I looked terrible. I'd never looked so dark in my life. Dark circles surrounded my eyes. Even my nearly-white hair had lost some of its radiance.
I yawned and made my way to Filch's office sleepily. Other students were making their way to their common rooms. And then I spotted something bright red. What was it? A Phoenix swooping above the crowd of people? Oh, my mistake – it was just Ronald Weasley's hair.
"OH MY GOSH, HARRY! LOOK, THERE HE IS – THE AMAZING BOUNCING FERRET!" He yelled above all the noise. He waggled his finger in my direction but I sort-of slapped it out of my face.
"And there was me, thinking ferrets were friendly creatures." He muttered to Potter.
"Listen Weasel," I said when I couldn't take it any more, "any other day and I could handle your stupid, insignificant comments! But seriously, not today, so please just leave me alone." I felt really angry for no apparent reason.
The dream must've shaken me. But that was all it was – just a dream, nothing more. It wasn't like it was about to come true, was it?
I pushed past them and walked into Filch's office. Astoria was already in there, polishing some kind of trophy.
"Where've you been?" She muttered. She turned around. "Merlin, you look dreadful."
"Evening to you too." I mumbled.
She didn't reply. Hmmm, talk about awkward! With a capital A!
Ugh…I couldn't take this silence any longer. "So…I was thinking about what you said yesterday."
"Really?" She said so quietly it was almost incoherent.
"Yes, and…I just wanted to say…" Uh-oh…what had I just got myself into? Was I – Draco Malfoy – going to apologize?
"Say what?"
"Sorry! I'm sorry, OK? You're right…I don't want to choose wrong, I really don't! It's just that…oh, I don't actually know! I'm just sorry. You were just trying to be a good friend and convince me to do what's right and I just started shouting at you. I didn't mean to," I babbled, "but it's just that I've never actually spoken to anyone about it before. I've thought about it, but never like this and…and I'm scared." This was just excellent. First I apologize to her, and then I tell her I'm scared. Now I felt tears pricking in my eyes. Was I going to go the whole hog and cry, too? Great!
No, I wouldn't. I had nothing to cry about anyway, so I don't know why I was getting so worked up about everything.
"You know, it's…it's OK to be scared sometimes. I know you're a Malfoy and everything and that you're supposed to put on a brave face but…how are you supposed to do that all the time? It's impossible." She said.
"No it isn't."
"It is! Sometimes you just have to face the facts. And the fact right now is that you're scared and obviously upset about what I said," she started, "I didn't mean what I said about you being like your father yesterday. I was just…upset."
"Upset?" I repeated. "Why were you upset? You're probably going to leave Hogwarts and become an Auror and get married and have a family of your own!" I felt a stab of jealousy then. What the hell was happening to me? I was completely losing the plot! "A happy ending! That's what's going to happen to you!"
"You never know. And I was upset because of what you are and what you're going to become! It could happen sooner than you think, you know. He's getting more and more powerful every single day and one day everything's going to change. You have to choose! Who do you want to be? Do you want to be Draco or just another Malfoy? A normal kid or just the next in a whole line of Death Eaters? All I want is for you to choose what's right!"
"Fine…if that's how you feel." I whispered.
"No, I…I didn't mean it like that!"
"It doesn't matter how you meant it."
"But I-"
"Just forget it. Just…forget it." I interrupted. The next two hours crept by extremely slowly. Neither of us said anything and when they were over, I made sure she was gone before I came out of Filch's office and then returned to the common room…
I woke with a start. My heart seemed to be thumping right out of my chest. I had no idea why it was going so fast. I don't think it had ever gone that fast in my life.
There was an odd smell drifting around the dormitory. I didn't know the time, but it must've been late, because all the other guys were still completely zonked.
It took me a few minutes to detect it, but eventually I realized that it was a sort of smoky smell. I breathed it in a couple of times and started coughing. My eyes began to sting as I looked at the door to the dorm. Thick grey smoke covered the floor. I climbed out of my bed and walked towards the door, wondering what the hell was going on. I reached for the doorknob. It was red-hot and left a huge burn on my palm. My heart beat even faster. And then I heard the voice. Someone was screaming - a girl. And I knew that voice all too well…
