Author's note: I apologize for the delay in posting the conclusion to this story. I've been dealing with real life issues, and a major bout with writer's block. Thank you for your patience!
He was, without question, the most infuriating person she knew. She'd just poured out her heart to him, confided the details of what had led to her failed marriage and some conclusions she'd come to concerning her future, and he was simply sitting there not offering a single comment. He'd never been shy about offering her his opinions in the past, they were frequently unsolicited- and often concerned things that she frankly felt were none of his business.
She was fairly certain that he'd been on the brink of responding to what she'd just told him. He'd been looking directly at her, a serious expression on his face, when a ball suddenly came to rest on the blanket between them with a thud. She picked it up, and turned around in time to see two preschool age children rushing towards her with their father in hot pursuit. After returning the ball, and briefly conversing with the trio, she'd turned back around to find Lee chomping on a fried chicken drumstick.
She helped herself to a piece of chicken, and began eating it, confident that he would say whatever he'd been about to say before they were interrupted as soon as he polished off his drumstick. Much to her dismay, he complimented her on her cooking skills, and helped himself to more food. Unlike him, she could barely swallow the chicken that she was nibbling on; her mouth was suddenly feeling incredibly dry. She reached out for the condensation soaked thermos that sat between them, but it tilted over before her slightly shaking hand got a firm grasp on it.
"Let me give you a hand with that," Lee offered, as he righted the thermos and wiped it down with a napkin. He filled a plastic cup with lemonade and passed it to her.
"Thank you." She offered him a brief smile, before hastily breaking eye contact.
"Amanda, are you okay?" He eyed her speculatively. "You seem kind of…ahh…tense."
"Am I okay," she sputtered, causing the contents of her cup to slosh dangerously close to the rim. "You think I seem tense, huh?"
"A little bit," he replied awkwardly. He swiped a hand through his slightly sweaty hair, as he considered what might be troubling her.
"I've got good reason to be tense, I just confided in you, thoughts and feelings that I haven't shared with anyone else, which I'm still grappling with myself, and how do you respond? No, don't answer that question, I could see that you were on the brink of saying something, but then you just started stuffing your face, why didn't you say what you were thinking?"
"I didn't want to say the wrong thing, and I decided that having a mouthful of food was preferable to risking putting my foot in my mouth yet again."
"Oh, Lee, there is no 'wrong thing' to say, we won't have much of a future if you don't feel free to tell me what you're feeling." She put down her cup, and gently stroked the hand he had resting on the blanket. "I wish that I had said what I was thinking, and feeling, more often in the past. If I had, than it wouldn't have taken me so long to get myself back on track. I know what I want out of life, and I'm not afraid to pursue my dreams anymore."
"I've never known you to give into your fears." He entwined his left hand with her right hand. "It's ironic, every time that I tried to warn you that a situation was dangerous and that you should stay at a safe distance- I might as well have been waving a red flag in front of a bull." He offered her a dimpled grin, and she couldn't help but laugh at his comment.
"You need me by your side, I'm not going anywhere, we're partners. Where you go, I go and where I go-"
"I can't follow, I wish that I could, and I'm trying to understand why I may never be able to. On some level, you recognized that you weren't on the right path and you began to follow your heart again, but I didn't and now it's too late for me."
"It's never too late to pursue your dreams, and I can't think of anyplace that I can go to that you can't go as well."
"I can, and it's a very important place in your life."
"You mean the house?" She tilted her head and gazed at him, truly surprised by where his concerns seemed to rest.
"It's not just a house, it's the home that you share with your family, and you've made it very clear to me that I'm not welcome-"
"That's not true," she interrupted him, even though in her heart she knew that she was guilty of sending him very mixed signals. Stung by how easily she appeared to be dismissing his observation, he slowly let go of her hand.
"Pardon me," he said, waving his hand theatrically. "Let me clarify, I'm welcome to lurk in your backyard like a prowler, and you'll sneak me into the house if you're home alone, but…"
His voice faded, as he realized that he'd allowed himself to begin to openly express his fears about the limitations of their growing relationship. I told her that I was happy being a loner, and I meant it then. Liar, he scolded himself, I wasn't happy back then and she could see it, even if I didn't have the guts to let myself acknowledge how I was really feeling. He leaned back against the tree trunk, looking past Amanda, wondering if he could ever fit into her world.
"I'm sorry, you're right, I have gone out of my way to keep you away from my family…except for when I expected you to risk your life to protect them. She hung her head guiltily, as she felt his eyes return to her.
"I've never minded protecting them, they're your family…and I've come to feel as though I know them. That must sound silly-"
"No, it doesn't, what's silly is that I've introduced other people with ties to the Agency to my family while I've made you feel so unwelcome. We've been friends for a long time now, and I would have introduced any other friend to my family much sooner."
"I'm not like your other friends." His voice was warm, and she dared to hope that she could blend the two lives she'd been living into one.
"You aren't like anyone I've ever known, but that isn't a bad thing, and I wish that I'd never made you feel as though it was. I'd like to introduce you to Mother and the boys. If it's okay with you, I'd like to introduce you as a friend first, I don't think they're ready for anything more yet."
"That's fine with me, that's all that I'm ready for, this is all new to me."
"We can start out with baby steps. Why should we change the pace of our relationship now?"
Her stomach growled loudly before he could reply, so they both laughed and returned their attention to the food before them. They were back on the right track, and for the moment that was enough to satisfy both of them.
