I see the way she looks at me. I know she's worried but I wish she would stop. Her innocent crystal blue eyes as clear as the purest stream in an untouched forest are piercing, soul-searing even. My spine always tingles when they're upon me, whether I'm looking or not, I can feel when she is watching.

I wish she would stop.

Undoubtedly, her heart is in the right place, she always being the type to worry excessively over the wellbeing of her friends. However, the attention irks me. It drives me into frustration, makes me tense with uncertainty and adversely affects my thoughts of her. She means well, the best, I know. But…

I wish she would stop.

As I prepare to set off on another hero vendetta, she saunters over my shoulder, silently trying to beckon me to release whatever emotions I may have pent up inside of me. I understand she wants to help but the ongoing intrusion only makes me want to clamp up more. With as convincing a smile I can fake, I attempt to reassure her that I'm fine even if it isn't true. I guess she knows me well because she never leaves.

I wish she would stop.

Her sorrow for me is no help. I get no satisfaction in knowing that she is waiting for me to finally let out the past so that I can find closure. As a matter of fact, they all believe I should face my demons and free myself from the suffocating reality that consistently plagues my whole being.

"Stop running from the past." They say.

"Mourn for them." They say.

"They don't want you to live like this." They say.

"I'm here for you. We all are."

Ack, my disappointing inhibitions always allow me to tear when I recall all the words they share. My body trembles with pain, my hands always cling to my gut while my eyes pool in never ending rivers of tears, but that's besides the point.

I'm not running from my past, I replay it in my mind everyday. It is what motivates me to continue living.

I mourn for them in every waking moment of every day. I've never stopped since that time.

If they didn't want to see me like this, then why did they leave me?

And finally…

I do tend to avoid painful memories. I try to dodge them as if they never happened and though I can see how detrimental this can be, I don't have the will to change my habits. Looking back on that day and hearing the echoing attempts the senshi make to console me, it can never work.

I lost my life then. Had everything I ever cherished taken from me in one frail swoop. I knew things were too good to be true but I never knew Fate would take it from me so cruelly. Damn, I can't even think about it without sobbing like a baby. I hate feeling sorry for myself, I despise pity but I can never resist.

Of all the people in the world, that damned thing stumbled on me. It found us. It killed us…and where were they? Dispersed, immerged in their own facet of living, completely unaware of the threat that had sprung itself upon me. But I do not blame them. Supposedly it was punishment for leaving Serenity unprotected. Supposedly I deserved it since I am the senshi that is supposed to embody loyalty and protection but aspects of that day, life after that day haunt me without end.

"I'm here for you. We all are."

It's kind that they would say it. Kind even that they are in deed here for me. But they've come quite late and I can't seem to forget that.

"Trust me when I say, I understand," the towering brunette assured. "Mercury is best suited to aid them first, she is after all the one that came up with the idea. She would be able to connect them to the heroes of that dimension faster than any of us could."

Queen Serenity bore a small frown a she stood unconvinced.

"You're sure?" She asked.

The mahogany haired soldier sighed.

"I'm positive. Tactical battle strategy may not be in my jurisdiction, but I can comprehend it well enough."

"Of course," Serenity replied. She awkwardly shifted on her feet before hesitantly turning to walk away. She could think of nothing more to say so what reason was there for her to stay?

"Serenity."

At the mention of her name, she hastily spun on her heals. The lightning senshi stood with serious emerald hues, her demeanor foreboding and strong-willed.

"Makoto."

"Just don't keep me from this case." She stated. "Please."

A long period of silence crept devastatingly by, Serenity contemplating the request incessantly in her mind. She was no liar and could never bring herself to fib to her friends, but she could not bring herself to fully accept Makoto's plea. Seeing the pain in her jade soul was tormenting and Serenity knew if she denied her, she would never forgive her.

"I will try," she uttered reluctantly.

Makoto flashed with a brief look of disappointment before nodding.

"Thank you."