It was not possible. He was back. No, it was not possible. It could not be possible.
Loki immediately realized that he was back in his body. He looked around him. Everything was white.
I could not be possible.
Everything happened so fast. Was it the Midgardian woman who had done it? It could not be true…
Perhaps I should leave you here, where you will not bother anyone, and find myself another neutral and quiet atmosphere.
The words were repeating over and over in his head. Was it the end, then? A terrible thought instantly struck him. He could not actually die. His body was not affected by pain, nor thirst or even tiredness. His physical form would remain intact while his mind would slowly fade.
"I refuse this." Loki said out loud.
He had to admit it, he was afraid and powerless. But that did not mean he should embrace despair. After all, he had already been beaten, tossed to the ground, imprisoned and mocked countless times. And he always rose up, laughing at the face of those who felt so superior to him. He would come through this, as he had always done.
Trust my rage, he once said to his brother. Yes. Rage strengthened him.
Elisa. The ignorant, arrogant, and yet dangerous human. Loki cursed his own stupidity. He had underestimated her powers. He should have waited. He should have learnt more about her. Rushing like he did was unusual of him. This was the risk of being driven by his rage. He had to find a way to follow the path she took to enter this place.
Loki focused on his recent memory, trying to ignore the oppressive whiteness that seemed to pursue him even when he closed his eyes. He needed to analyse the way the human's mental projection had left this place. However, no matter how hard he tried, he did not manage to find the way out on his own. Loki had used his magic as a hook to catch her and take her place. Which meant that he needed a base. He could not go anywhere alone.
"I know you are here. Show yourself!" He ordered.
Nothing came, of course. Even if she was really still here, why would she join him? He had just tried to switch place with her. Certainly, she would never take the risk to come back… No, he knew she would, sooner or later, because she was curious. She would not resist.
But meanwhile, what was he going to do? He did not know anything about this place. Only that it was white, silent and infinite.
"Elisa, this is Archie. I'm sorry but this is really urgent now, I need you right away…"
Her head was spinning a little. She laid her back against the wooden wall. Side-effects passed quickly but they were always as annoying. Her eyes surveyed the inside of the cabin. So far, nothing had moved. Except this knife on the floor, with…
"Elisa, you' okay?!" Added Archie.
"Yes Archie, I am okay. Are you? What happened?"
"I'm fine, but Nathan got bitten. He's with me, I'm bringing him to you right now."
"Bitten by what? When will you get here?" She said, immediately reaching for the first aid kit next to the entrance door.
"Death adder and forty minutes. He seems to be… Wait, he wanna talk to you."
She heard a little rustle and a distant motor noise when Archie handed the phone.
"Hey Elisa, whassup?" Articulated a third voice.
"Hi Nathan. I won't say I told you to keep antivenom but I really want to. You seem pretty relaxed for someone who tickled a death adder."
"At least I got… some nice shots."
"You surely are crazy. Where did you got bitten?"
"Left… leg."
His slow speech was one of the venom effects. She was not too worried about it. Forty minutes was an incredibly short period of time in Australia, and with Archie's driving, it would surely take less. A rescue helicopter would probably have taken the same amount of time, maybe more. Besides, death adder antivenom worked extremely well and rapidly. And Nathan was a sturdy man. Crazy, no doubt, but sturdy.
"Well, I have everything ready with me. See you soon."
Nathan hung up. She sighed heavily. Some days definitely started worse than others. Her gaze stopped on the dead reptile still nailed to the floor. Perhaps now she could release tension.
"FUCKER!" She screamed.
Despising her? Alright, she did not care much. Stealing her body? It was doomed to failure, anyway. But killing her snake? What was he thinking?
She furiously took up the knife, grabbed the lifeless body and put it in the fridge. Then she installed a drip set next to the couch, put the first aid kit on the table and set on to dilute the antivenom ampoule with saline. But all her thoughts were focused on the god of Mischief. Was it reasonable to come back to Whatever-its-name now?
Of course, she already knew what she was going to do. She had never talked to someone like him. He knew things she only dreamt of learning. She had to take the chance to discover more about him.
About twenty-five minutes later, she heard the screech of tyres on the ground and rushed to help Archie with Nathan, who could barely walk and yet was smiling at her.
"That crazy mate clearly wanna die." Said Archie, while he lied him down on the couch.
Archie was a tall man, half-Scottish and half-Arrernte, one of the major Aborigines tribes in South Australia, which gave way to the extraordinary combination of brown skin and ginger hair. As a touristic guide in the outback, he spoke four languages fluently, with his own definition of fluency. Nathan, now sleeping on the couch, was English. The two men had met two months ago in a bar in Adelaide, had first gotten into a fight about who was making the best whisky or who had won the last football match, she did not remember exactly, and had obviously become best buddies the morning after. Nathan was a wildlife photographer. A reckless one.
"Sorry Elisa, I tried to bring it to you but that little fella was too quick." He chuckled.
"Some men bring me flowers, others offer me snakes. Death adders are not that aggressive, what happened, did you dance on it?" She questioned, while giving him the anti-venom intravenously.
"Whaduyuwanmetosay?" He muttered.
"Can I at least see the pictures?"
"Yep."
She went to Archie's pickup to take the camera, undoubtedly Nathan's most precious possession. He was a talented photographer, she reckoned. He had been living here for six weeks and this was the second time he got bitten by a snake, the first one being on his very first day. Far from discouraging him, this had only motivated him more for his reporting on South Australian wildlife. He was staying at Archie's place for the moment but he would have to move soon and the Scot-Arrernte was persuaded that he would kick the bucket in the process. On the contrary, she was convinced that Nathan would die a centenarian.
She was taking a long look at the photos, in the shade of the pickup, when she heard Archie screaming.
"Shit, I almost had an attack! Why's there a brown snake in your fuckin' fridge?!"
"Help yourself if you want." She sighed. She should have put it into a Tupperware.
"I think I'll pass. Tuna pasta?"
"Except if you have learnt to cook something else."
Archie was now busy in her kitchen. She came back inside. It was merely nine in the morning and the atmosphere was scorching hot. Oodnadatta held the world record of the highest temperature on Earth. People could fry eggs directly on rocks.
"You got off the wrong foot today?" Asked Archie when she entered.
"As you can see, one of my companions was not very cooperative."
"I guess so. You're even crazier that the dude on your couch. Makes me nervous to know there's an inland taipan in one of those boxes."
"As long as you do not provoke them, there is nothing to fear, you know."
"I know… I really owe you one for this time in the museum."
"No, you do not. Maddy paid me for that, remember?" She distractively answered, busy checking Nathan's pulse, then taking a close look at each box.
Fortunately, all the others were fine. She kept wondering why Loki had stabbed the snake. As a matter of fact, why did he stay in the house? He knew few places on Earth but nothing here could be helpful to him. With such power as what she felt, he should have found a way to get out of this deserted place in an instant. He surely was weaker in a human body. She was even more and more certain that he did not have access to his powers at all…
"Pasta?" Proposed Archie, suddenly pulling her out of her reflexion.
"At nine AM?"
"Not yet forbidden by the law."
Archie always cooked something when he was invited over, whether she liked it or not. And the only thing he could cook was tuna pasta.
"Don't you have some tourists today?" She asked.
"We open at half past ten. I've still got some time."
"If you say so."
Some time. How strange time was. It did not matter if she took some time or not to come back to Whatever-its-name.
"Archie, could I use your internet at the museum?"
They had a slow, lagging internet, but it was enough for her to do some research about the battle of New-York, which took place more than five years ago.
Right after Archie drove Nathan and her at his workplace, the Oodnadatta Railway Museum, she overviewed all kinds of articles, footages and testimonies about the Avengers teaming up, the issue of Chitauris weapons on the black market, and the brief and disastrous path of Loki. She methodically noted every single piece of information that seemed valuable (there was an unbelievable quantity of hoaxes, including Loki being a reptilian or a CIA agent). A short video taken by a mobile phone in some German city caught her attention. The Asgardian was wearing a horned helmet and held a shining sceptre. But what surprised her the most was the look in his eyes. He was visibly wacky. The sound of the video was poor but she clearly heard him screaming "Kneel!" like a madman. The interesting thing was how the mob had been gathered. From what she saw, Loki had gotten out of a building and slowly walked towards a square, disintegrating a police car in the process. And yet, people seemed to be afraid of something invisible that apparently circled the place. Then video stopped when Loki took a very recognizable shield in the chest. How could heroes make their appearance so right on time?
Even inside the museum, it was outrageously hot. She briefly laid down on her chair and took a look at what she had gattered so far.
So-called God of Mischief. Race of extra-terrestrial beings from planet Asgard (more details). Brother of Thor, God of Thunder (Avenger). Super-human strength and resistance, Eldritch rays, knowledge of outer space, some kind of illusions. Apparently psychotic. Huge wormhole above New-York. Ask about Tesseract.
Even though the Earth had had its share of catastrophe across the last previous years, she had to admit Loki had set high standards. Now, she literally had a list of questions to ask him. It was not apprehension she was feeling when she thought about their next encounter. It was thrill. She had much to learn about him. Not about destroying the world, oh no, that did not interest her.
The Earth does not interest me anymore.
He had not lied either. Yet, she had to remain cautious. Inquiring, maybe, but cautious. Anyway, was there something else she was supposed to do? If she were a hero (which she wasn't, clearly not), would she have left him alone to atone for his sins? How did they call that, the "right thing to do"?
"Bullshit." She muttered.
"Excuse-me, Elisa?" Said a woman's voice "I lend you my computer and you thank me by cursing in my back?"
"Sorry Maddy, it was not about you. I guess I will take my leave." She smiled, and quickly closed all the internet windows before standing up.
"Yeah, bye."
It was always funny to see how Maddy hated her. But she was a real angel compared to the god she was going to visit.
Loki was. That was all. He existed, nothing more. The sensorial deprivation was total. No sound, no taste, no smell, not the slightest variation of light. He could not do anything, and soon he could very well not be anything. He had been here too long, diving further and further in his memory, the only safe place where he could escape, but not for ever.
He had many things to think about but few were reassuring. His brother, lost, his father, gone, his mother, gone, his powers, useless.
"Always so perceptive, about everything but yourself."
Frigga was standing next to him, with a sad smile on her face.
"You should not stay here." Loki sighed.
"I am free to go where I want, my son. I am dead."
"You are dead. Be silent." Loki harshly said.
More and more visions. Noises. Hallucinations. Loki felt that his head was about to explode. Every emotion and memory were fuzzy, joy and pain seemed to be the same. Where was he? How did he get here?
He was Loki, he thought. He had to remember this, no matter what. He was Loki of Asgard, the God of…
"Brother." Thor said "Look around you! Do you think this madness will end with your rule?!"
He looked around. Fire and destruction. Where was that, already? How did it happen? He had a feeling that he should care, but he did not manage to do so.
"Where ever you go, there is more ruin." Odin accused.
Why was he in chains, now? It did not matter, he did not care.
"Stop!" He shouted.
Only silence. Destructive silence. Deafening silence. Oh, his head was hurting so much… He was Loki, he remembered. Loki, that was all. A name, he had to hold onto his name. Without his name, he would truly be gone.
He had the feeling that he could not clearly see. White all around. Even more overwhelming than dark. Sometimes, he could not help but looking at his hands just to be sure that his body had not disappeared.
What was this place? It was a prison, he recalled. Someone had sent him there. Someone that terrified him. He had seen someone else, long ago. He remembered the heat, a snake, a melody. Was it real or part of his hallucinations as well?
Odin, the All-Father. Thor, the God of Thunder. Frigga, the All-Mother. Names echoing in his mind. Voices, faces, emotions. Resentment, affection, sorrow. Were those real or part of a never-ending dream?
Loki was shaken by a nervous laugh. He did not know what was and what was not. There was just nothing. Nothing and him.
"I told you I would come back. You really should listen to me." She said.
The woman was next to him. She did not exist.
"Go away." He muttered "You are not real. You are not real."
Loki had no anger left in him. He was becoming increasingly mad. This illusion seemed so real that he did not know if it was created by his own mind or by Thanos himself, in order to torment him. This would indeed be the most refined cruelty. Distress followed by treacherous hope ended up on true despair. The perfect way to break anyone.
He saw her moving towards him. Avoiding her was impossible. He had no place to run. He could not fight.
"I am real." She said.
"No! Go away!" He shouted.
Loki frenetically compressed his head, half-laughing, half-crying.
"Get out! Get out of my head!"
He fell on his knees. Resisting this torture was more of an instinct than a strategy. There was no possible escape.
The illusion stopped moving. Loki was glad. He did not raise his head towards her. If this was the supreme mark of insanity displayed by his own mind, let if at least be silent.
"Have you ever had chocolate eclairs?" Abruptly asked the woman.
Loki froze. Had he heard correctly?
"What?" He could not help answering.
"It is a pastry. In a saucepan, you bring milk with a vanilla bean to a boil over medium heat. Then, you immediately turn off the heat and set aside to infuse for roughly fifteen minutes. Meanwhile, you can whisk egg yolks and sugar until light and fluffy, and then add…"
"What are you saying?" Articulated Loki.
"You are right, let's talk about something else. Literature. Jack London was born in 1876, and died in 1916 or 1917, I cannot remember. He worked in Klondike for a while, and when he returned he published novels, including The Call of the Wild, White Fang and Martin Eden."
"This is nonsense."
"Sure, it is. And yet, so lively. Like the Bee Gees."
"The what?"
"Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother
You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin'
And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive!"
She was singing. Badly, but she was definitely singing. She was even starting to dance.
"Enough! Why are you doing that?!" He screamed, jumping on his feet.
She halted.
"Do you believe me, now?"
"I don't understand." Loki confessed.
"You thought I was an illusion created by yourself or some mad extra-terrestrial entity. Nor you nor he would bother to learn about human culture. Do you really think that an illusion could be so accurate about things you are not even aware of?"
Loki stayed still for a moment. He was incredulous. She sounded so crazy that she might be right. Slowly but surely, he began to remember who she was, Elisa, and what she did here, if she was actually doing anything.
"I think that this is the most insane reasoning that I have ever heard." He finally said.
"Precisely!" She answered "Nothing here is supposed to make sense!"
"I already realized it." Loki sighed.
"You realized it but you did not accept it." Elisa underlined.
Loki wondered if it was possible to get even more confused.
"I do not know what you intend to prove. Besides, why do you still want to help me?"
She crossed her arms.
"If this is what you insinuate, I am indeed quite angry at you. Not because you tried to steal my body, honestly, I would have done the same thing if I were you. I am angry at you because you killed my eastern brown snake."
Well, he did not expect that. Loki did not have the time to answer, as she explained further.
"This was the last snake I captured. I found him nailed to the floor with my kitchen knife, and I did not even have the time to collect some venom. I drove me mad for a while."
"I… am sorry to have… killed your snake." Loki stammered, as sincere as he could be at the moment.
"Anyway, no need to expand on this. And never try to possess my body again. Even if you did, it wouldn't be very productive, would it?"
"True." Finally answered Loki "But you know very well that I cannot trust you so easily."
"I know. I do not trust you either. You have nothing to lose, and I will not risk anything for you. I am not helping you out of pity, rather out of curiosity. Take it the way you want."
Elisa sat down and the god imitated her. He was torn between shame and relief. On the one hand, he would have to live with the memory of breaking down in tears in front of a Midgardian woman -even though she was not like all the Midgardians, but still- and on the other hand, he was glad to know that he had not turned mad.
"One step at the time." She said "If I was able to get you out, I would do it right away. It will be hard, of that I am sure. However, I can explain how to control this place. At least, to a certain extent."
Loki was paying close attention.
"Between the moment where you came back into your body and the one I joined you again, I suppose it felt like weeks, or even months, have passed. On Earth, it lasted barely a day. Time does not exist here, you already noticed that. But there is a way to, let's say, confuse this dimension."
"You are talking about this place as if it had its own conscience."
"Perhaps it is the case. As you have pointed out, my knowledge is very limited. The key is to choose an objective."
"An objective?"
"When I found myself trapped here, I firstly resisted. I fought again the rules of this place. There are very few but it is impossible to confront them head-on. It is indeed very much like a conscious being. The more I was thinking that I would not spend the rest of my days here, the more the whiteness and silence felt oppressive to me."
Loki did not add anything. All of this was painfully true.
"Think of it like a child's play. Imagine that you are constantly losing against our older sibling, who is physically stronger than you, no matter how hard you try. He will always win if you play by the rules. And yes, I am making this comparison on purpose." She added, when she saw the upset look on Loki's face "After your attempt at invading Earth and the Thunder God joining the Avengers, your brotherly rivalry appeared a little obvious."
The Asgardian resolved to save for later the dozens of sharp remarks he had thought about.
"This place is imposing several things to you: you are alone, you cannot get out. The point is to state "I am alone, but…" and "I cannot get out, but…" because what makes this dimension's strength are its weaknesses."
"It definitely sounds like a child's play." Loki remarked.
"I was baffled when I realized that. It seems incredibly stupid. But, at the risk of sounding philosophical, few things in the world are complicated when you take a closer look at them. Earlier, when you were persuaded that I was an illusion, it was useless to say "I am not", since it only comforted you in this belief."
"So, you drove my attention away." Loki continued.
"I turned the Yes/No opposition into a What-the-Hell/How-on-Earth one. By the way, you really have to try some eclairs when you get out. Not everything on Earth is as despicable as you think."
"Can you stop digressing?"
"And, there's the rub." Elisa smiled "I should never stop digressing. Words are power, but one second of inattention is enough for you to get trapped by your previous statements."
Loki rolled his eyes. Arrogant woman.
"I am not exaggerating. You cannot deform the rules once or twice and then hope to win the standard way. You need to do it constantly."
"I see your point." Loki assured "When you were in my body, how did you get out?"
"My phone-ring. It acts like, let's say, a reminder from my physical body that I should join him. Archie's call was purely accidental, but I had set up an alarm within the next five minutes. I told you this was stupid."
"Not more than your strange dance earlier."
"You have a point, do not count on me to do this again. Since time does not exist here, eternity can as well be billions of years or the blink of an eye. So, this is where I would stop as far as I am concerned. Your situation is more difficult than mine."
"As I have not set any "reminder" or whatsoever anywhere else." Completed Loki.
"And since I have not experimented this myself, I might get much more unclear. But, as you did with your magic when you wanted to switch place with me, you can use me as your reminder."
"How so?" Loki caustically asked "The result is not very conclusive."
"As I said, I cannot get you out for now. But I can help you not waiting for what you feel like months or even years on your own. It reminds me of lucid dreams. Your dream still has rules, but you bend them at your will. Except that now, you must literally trick a dimension. And I feel like you might be the perfect person to do so."
Loki smiled. Oh, how right she was.
God of Mischief. Trickster.
Suggested end song: Cuphead - Die House
Okay, I will go easy on the PTSD shit in the next chapters. I kind of want to credit Guardians of the Galaxy for the way she breaks the tension but she is not as fan of music as Star-Lord, so there won't be that many pop music references.
Honestly, it's no big deal for me if no one wants to leave a review, but it can be helpful if you think that the story is too slow/complicated/dickishly annoying. Anyway, I enjoy writing it so the following chapters will come very soon!
And thank you very much, AnadoraBlack, FanGirlForever19, Iris Maya, Venny5123 and knightowls2 for following my story!
La bise!
