A/N: Thanks to Amonraphoenix and Darkunderworld for beta-ing for me. You two rock! And thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed thus far. I'm glad you're all enjoying the story.

Disclaimer: see chapter one


Donatello downed another glass of whiskey as he glanced at the clock on his computer. One o'clock in the morning; his brothers should be well asleep by now. He poured himself one final glass of whiskey and gulped it down before he made his way over to the bed and picked up the weights that lay upon the mattress. Thick rope was tied securely around the weights. Donatello quietly opened his bedroom door and crept outside, closing the door behind him again and made his way for the stairs. When he got downstairs, he made his way towards the pool.

Meanwhile, Michelangelo was in the grips of a nightmare when he was woken up by his eldest brother's voice. He shot up in bed and looked around his room with wide, fear filled eyes. A horrible sinking feeling began to wash over him and he threw off the blankets before jumping out of bed and heading for the door. Michelangelo opened the door and hurried out into the hall. He looked out over the lair; all was still and quiet. He made a mad dash for Donatello's room and threw open the door, his heart sinking to the bottom of his stomach. The room was empty.

"Raph!" Michelangelo yelled.

A minute later, Raphael appeared, irritated that he had been woken up. His eyes were narrowed in slits of golden anger. He glared at his baby brother and silently questioned why Michelangelo had yelled in the first place.

"What?" Raphael barked.

"Donny's not in his room," Michelangelo said.

Raphael growled under his breath. "Maybe he slept in his lab," he suggested.

Michelangelo shook his head. "I don't think so. I don't know why but I get the feeling that Donny's in trouble."

Raphael sighed and made his way for the stairs with Michelangelo right behind him. The brothers headed downstairs and walked towards Donatello's lab. When they passed by the pool, Raphael frowned when he saw faint ripples moving across the water. He turned to look at Michelangelo, who merely shrugged. Raphael walked to the water's edge and his eyes widened in horror when he saw the unmistakeable color of a purple mask. Without a second thought or word to Michelangelo, Raphael dove into the water and swam for the bottom as fast as he could.

Donatello gave no indication that he knew his brother was there. Raphael pulled out one of his sais and began cutting away at the rope that was tied around his brother's ankles. When Donatello was free, Raphael grabbed him and hauled him to the surface. They broke the surface of the water with a whoosh and Michelangelo reached down to pull Donatello to safety. Raphael pulled himself up and began assessing Donatello. He started doing chest compressions, breaking every few seconds to breathe air into his brother's unmoving lungs.

"You're not dying on us yet, Donny," Raphael growled sharply.

Leonardo looked on in terrified horror, only able to shout silent encouragements at Raphael and pray that his message to Michelangelo had not sunk in until it was too late, and Donatello too far gone to be revived.

Michelangelo watched anxiously as Raphael continued with the chest compressions. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Donatello began to cough up the water that had filled his lungs. Raphael pulled his brother into the recovery position so the water could drain. Water poured out of Donatello's mouth the more he coughed.

"That's it, Donny, breathe," Raphael encouraged, patting his brother's shell firmly.

Donatello finally managed to catch his breath and slowly opened his eyes. Pure, raw agony washed over his face when he realized that he was still alive. He squeezed his eyes tight as they began to burn with hot tears.

"Why did you do that?" Donatello asked miserably.

"That's my line," Raphael snarled. "What the heck, Don? That was the most idiotic move you could ever make!"

Donatello buried his face in his arms. "You should have left me down there," he choked out. "You should have just let me go."

"We're not finished with you just yet, Bonehead," Raphael told him.

"Why, Donny?" Michelangelo asked, his eyes burning with fierce tears. "Why would you try something like that?"

"Mikey..." Donatello began.

Michelangelo shook his head. "A suicide attempt, Donny Are we not worth living for?" he asked angrily.

"It's got nothing to do with you," Donatello replied.

"It's got everything to do with us!" Michelangelo roared. "We're your brothers, Don. Did you really think we would just let you drown yourself?" He took a shaky breath. "For a genius you really are stupid," he said.

"Is this how you honor Leo's memory…his sacrifice?" Raphael asked. "By killing yourself?"

"If it wasn't for me Leo would still be alive," Donatello said miserably, his body beginning to tremble. "I should have checked more thoroughly. I should have made sure every laceration had been stitched up. I messed up and Leo had to pay the price for my failure."

From his place in his invisible world, Leonardo could only stand by and watch helplessly as his genius brother broke down. He could almost imagine Donatello's already cracked psyche breaking even more, and coming dangerously close to shattering all together. There was already a spider web of deep fissures, one more push and Donatello would break, never to be repaired again. Leonardo closed his eyes and hung his head sorrowfully.

"Oh, Don," he whispered wretchedly. "How can I make you see that this wasn't your fault?"


Leonardo sat on a chair on the other side of the lab, his eyes locked on to Donatello's back. It had been three days since his failed suicide attempt and Raphael had been watching Donatello like a hawk. This was the first test in gaining back Raphael's trust. Donatello quietly typed away on the computer, probably upgrading the security system again. Leonardo drummed his fingers against his knees and continued to stare at his brother's concentrating form.

"You have no idea how boring it is to be a ghost," Leonardo said. "And frustrating. I can't leave you guys for a week without being called back from beyond the grave because you got yourselves into trouble." He leaned over to one side as if he was trying to see around his brother. "But you didn't get yourselves into trouble, did you? This isn't a threat from the Foot or Purple Dragons, this threat is new; a threat of the mind and spirit."

Donatello picked up the glass that was sitting by the keyboard and took a sip from it. Leonardo sighed. If the failed suicide attempt had done anything, it had only made Donatello's drinking worse. He went through three or more bottles of whiskey a day. Leonardo wondered where Donatello was getting the money for the alcohol. Sadly, he was tethered to the lair since his swords were here, so all of his brother's topside activities were a mystery to him. All he knew was that Raphael handled the money that April gave them for food, so Donatello wasn't getting it that way. Leonardo didn't want to think that his brother was doing anything illegal, but at this point, could unfortunately only speculate that he was.

"I wish you would talk to me, Don," Leonardo said. "Say something, anything. You're making me feel useless."

Donatello stopped what he was doing and leaned back in the chair, stretching. He put his hands behind his head and looked up at the ceiling.

"Is anything getting through?" Leonardo asked. When Donatello didn't answer, he groaned in frustration. "Too bad we didn't befriend a medium," Leonardo grumbled. "That would make things a lot easier."

"I'm sorry," Donatello suddenly said out loud.

Leonardo's head snapped up, his eyes wide. He expected his brother to say something else, but Donatello remained silent after that one simple apology. The purple masked turtle went back to his work and Leonardo went back to his silent vigil. He wasn't letting Donatello out of his sight for one minute.


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