Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.
A/N: Thank you for reading.
Chapter 4:
The first month went by fairly smoothly, and I found myself completely in love with little Cooper. He had captured my heart in only the way a sweet child could. For the first time since my divorce, I felt a sense of elation and joy to be doing something of value. I had a true purpose. Our afternoons were always full of laughter and surprises and it was impossible to be anything less than happy.
Unfortunately, there was no further development with his father. Jacob was still just as reticent as ever and I tried to avoid him as much as possible.
Part of me held pity for him because he seemed exhausted and desolate, and some pull at my heart strings compelled me to help him. It was my nature to care for people, to take on the responsibility of others. As a child I had my mother to care for, then my work with Hearts of Aid, and now I realized that element of my life was missing. I decided that if I was going to be a part of this environment I needed to at least make it friendly. I wanted him to like me, but more importantly I wanted him to trust me. It was obvious, given the circumstances surrounding Cooper's mother that Jacob would have issues trusting women. I wasn't going to do anything to hurt his son, and I needed him to see that. I had no other motives than to help him. By the end of that first month I'd decided that I needed to make a friendly gesture to prove myself and make some progress in our relationship.
That Monday I brought over the ingredients for dinner. Sue had done most of the cooking before her accident, and I knew Rachel wasn't proficient in the kitchen. Coop had mentioned the grilled cheese sandwiches that he had almost nightly for dinner, so I was thrilled with my plan. I decided on spaghetti since it was easy and most kids seemed to like it.
"Belba, whataya making?" Cooper asked.
"Spaghetti," I replied wiping a dot of sauce on his nose.
"That smells good."
"Just wait until you've tasted it," I said with a wink.
"I like you Bel-ba."
"I like you too, Coop."
I didn't want to make a big show of the dinner so Coop and I ate before Jake got home and I left his plate in the microwave and the leftovers in a container in the fridge. Charlie pulled in behind Jake, and we only spoke in passing. I was happy with the way things fell into place. No awkward explanations and no opportunity for Jake to throw the plate at me.
The next day I noticed the plate clean and dry in the rack, and the leftover container was gone. I quickly washed up the dishes in the sink, and made a chicken casserole. While the oven did the dirty work, I decided I'd try to straighten up the rest of the house. The house wasn't especially unkempt, but could definitely use a woman's eye for detail. Cooper wasn't too thrilled with my time being occupied by chores, but soon enough he was pitching in and making a game of it. We finished up with the bathroom just as the oven dinged. I placed the meal on the table along with two place settings. Coop was washing his hands when Jacob came in.
"Hi," I said unusually cheerfully without looking up from the kitchen sink. I could sense the deep scowl on his face and I certainly didn't want to witness it.
"It's not necessary for you to cook," he said with an edge of resentment. I turned to face him in complete disbelief. My expression must have been full of disappointment or hurt or both. He quickly recovered his stance. "You just being here to keep an eye on my little guy is enough," he said a bit softer. I could still sense the lack of appreciation and I felt tears forming behind my eye lids and turned back to the sink to bat them away. I was being ridiculous, but for some reason it seemed that I needed acceptance from Jacob Black and his abhorrent reaction to me had hurt my feelings.
"I don't mind at all. I like to cook," I said defensively after I composed my emotions.
"Belba makes yum food," Cooper said, sitting at the table. At least I had the admiration of one of them.
"Thank you," Jacob said, sitting down at the table across from his son.
"You're welcome. Do you two need anything else before I go?" Jacob picked up a parts catalog from the table and began leafing through it. "No, thanks," he mumbled.
"Do you have to leave?" Cooper whined.
I squatted in front of him, steadying myself with the table. "I'll be back on Friday and I'll have a surprise for you."
His eyes grew bright with excitement. "What is it?"
"You'll just have to wait."
"I can't."
"Yes you can. Big boys can do anything."
"Okay," he conceded unwillingly.
"Bye, now." I patted his head and moved his chair closer to the table.
"Bye."
On Friday, I decided to ease up on the domestic favors, and opted to play with Cooper outside instead. I fixed a quick dinner of grilled chicken and mac and cheese. Cooper appreciated my cooking even if his father didn't.
Jacob seemed upset when he arrived home and I assumed he'd had a bad day. He looked like he needed a friend or at least an ear to listen, but I was certain by the hostility in his glare I was not that person. I felt very uneasy around him, and decided to wait for Charlie on the front stoop of the uncovered porch. The rain was really coming down and I moved into the cover of the over-hang just inside the doorway. Although it was spring, the air was chilly, and I wished I had my rain jacket. I waited for what seemed like an eternity wondering where Charlie was. I checked my watch, and realized he was fifteen minutes late. Just as panic started to flood over me, the front door opened, and I nearly toppled off the stoop. Jacob grabbed my arm to steady me, and with an annoyed look said, "I thought you had gone. You don't have to stand in the rain; you can wait inside."
"I'm sorry. I don't know why he's late," I explained feeling like a child in the principal's office.
I followed him, allowing the screen door to slam behind me. I stood just past the threshold watching the driveway for any sign of my father. About ten minutes had gone by when I was debating to go look for Charlie on foot. I was just certain that his cruiser had broken down or he'd been carjacked by terrorists. I had planned the route I'd need to take and was mentally preparing myself for the worst when the phone rang. I tried not to eavesdrop, but I could hear Jacob saying "No problem, Chief Swan."
I turned to meet him with frightened eyes. It didn't matter if he hated me; I was worried about my father.
"Bella," he spoke my name softly. It was the first time I had heard him say my name and I was surprised by how beautiful it sounded. "That was Charlie. He got called out and won't be able to pick you up."
"Oh," I said without any sound, relieved that my father was not hurt, but fully aware of the dilemma that I was now in. "I guess I could call Alice," I thought aloud.
"May I use the phone," I asked.
"Yes, of course," he replied reaching me the handset.
I dialed Alice's number twice and both times straight to voice mail. I wanted to cry. My stomach was in knots and I had no idea what to do.
"I can take you home," he offered. Cooper came running from the hallway with a towel wrapped around him like a cape and wearing only his underwear. His hair was wet, and his feet were leaving a trail of tiny puddles. "You should dry off with the towel first," Jacob said. When Coop trotted back off, he turned his attention back at me. His face went from caring to rigid, and I swallowed thickly.
"I don't want to inconvenience you," I said without meeting his stare. His eyes were like menacing stones and it was uncomfortable for me to look at him.
"I'm not sure you have any other options." The tenor of his voice became smooth, I looked up and something unrecognizable flashed in his eyes-sensitivity. It was easy to see that the hard shell was just a façade and that a wonderful caring person was just beneath it.
"Thank you," I mumbled.
"I don't mind. I just have to drop Cooper off at a birthday party."
"Yep. Brynn's birthday. She's a gurl."
I laughed at the over animated disgust on Cooper's features. "She likes pink and bunnies," he explained further.
"She's my friend Quil's daughter," Jacob explained, "We're all like family."
"I bet you'll have fun."
"Gurls are yucky!"
"I'm a girl," I reminded him.
He eyed me for a brief moment, and took off into the other room.
"Oh. Um, do you mind if I take a shower first?" Jacob asked. His clothes like always were covered in grease.
"No, not at all. I'll get the girl-hater dressed."
"Whatcha gonna wear to the party hotshot?"
"Monster shirt," he answered eagerly jumping on his bed. I grabbed him and put him in the floor. "I should have guessed. It's your favorite."
I helped Cooper pick up the toys from the floor and straighten his stuffed animals on the bed. I picked out a clean pair of jeans, but couldn't find his shirt anywhere. I had put a load of clothes in the dryer earlier, and realized it must have been in there.
I placed the load of clothes from the dryer in the basket and I pulled the red shirt out. My eyes were focused on the shirt while I shook out the wrinkles. I never saw him coming and when I turned the corner at the door, Jacob was coming into the laundry room. One hard bump and I bounced off of his chest that I realized, when my vision came back in focus, was noticeably bare. I was nearly breathless, somewhat from the collision, but mostly because of how Jacob looked. For the first time he wasn't covered in grease, and his face didn't seem angry. His dark hair was still damp from the shower and a bit tousled but it looked like silk, my fingers burned to touch it. My eyes, bright with heavy curiosity, moved from his face to notice smooth and skin stretched perfectly over well defined muscles in his shoulders, chest, and stomach. Before I could look past the low slung waistband of his jeans he cleared his throat. I had been too busy trying to earn his trust and avoid his loathing to really notice his physical attributes. But as he was displayed before me, I realized how long it had been since I actually was able to admire a man. Feelings surfaced that hadn't surfaced in a long time, and I felt my cheeks grow hot. I had to shake my thoughts.
"I'm so sorry, Bella. I needed a shirt. I didn't know you were in here." I got lost after the second my name came between his lips. The way it sounded made me feel confused and shaken.
"Not you too," I said holding up the red t-shirt.
Jacob grinned, revealing a smile that seemed lonely. I let my eyes rest on the features of his face. For a second I thought that if you took away the bitterness and anger he'd look exactly like an angel.
We exchanged a silent stare for several seconds. I couldn't speak, the dry lumps in my throat were preventing the words from coming out.
He reached past me, grabbing his white t shirt from the stack on the counter. I took in a deep breath.
"I'll be ready to leave in about five minutes."
"Oh, okay." My mind was blank. I closed my eyes and his voice rang out in my ears. "Bella."
I sighed out loud and realized I still had the shirt in my hand and needed to take it to Cooper.
Despite the uncomfortable situation in the laundry room, the rest of the evening seemed to be more relaxed than I was used to. Jacob still wasn't heavy on the conversation but at least he wasn't frowning.
I waited in the car while he walked Coop in to the party. Pink and white balloons decorated the posts on the front porch and white twinkle lights surrounded the door way. I could imagine Coop gagging at the sight of all that girly-ness.
"I'm really sorry that you're going to miss the party," I said to Jake once he arrived back to the car.
"You mean two and three year olds screaming and crying, and hitting each other with a piñata stick? You might just have actually saved my life."
"Then you're welcome," I said with a giggle relieved to see a different side of him.
"You know Bella," my name rolled from his lips like honey and my body shivered in response.
"I could never repay you for helping us out. I also owe you an apology."
I searched his face and found no trace of the rough edge of the last couple of weeks. All of it erased by genuine sincerity and trust.
"I haven't actually rolled out the welcome wagon. I must seem like a self-centered pig."
"Its fine."
"I'm sorry for not being more gracious. You've been more than kind to us."
"It's really no big deal. I enjoy it. Cooper is an incredible kid."
"Yeah, he is. He certainly makes my life interesting. I'm not used to having to ask for help from anybody. Since he was born I've done as much as I could by myself. This is all very foreign to me."
"That's very noble."
"It's my responsibility."
I stared ahead trying to think of something intelligible to say, but nothing formed in my mind. The trees passed by in pallets of green and brown and La Push faded. Jacob seemed intent on driving and I refused to disturb him.
"You're a really good cook," he said after a few quiet minutes.
"I had to learn growing up. My mother never really domesticated."
Jacob laughed. With Cooper out of sight, he seemed less guarded, and I couldn't help but to wonder.
"I bet Cooper will say the same thing about me. I suppose grilled cheese sandwiches get pretty old."
"For what it's worth you're doing an excellent job with Coop. He is very lucky to have you."
A smile etched with sincerity and a slight trace of pain crossed his face. "No, I'm the lucky one. Being a father is the greatest gift ever. I bet Charlie would have to agree."
"I don't know about that. Charlie kind of got that privilege taken away from him."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned that."
"It's ok."
"He was real excited when you decided to move here. Talked about it for days."
"Really?" I asked with thick curiosity. Charlie was never one to become overly excited over anything.
"I went fishing a couple of times with him and dad before you moved and it was all he could talk about. Even the fish were tired of hearing about you."
"Thick as thieves those two."
"They certainly were," he reminisced and it occurred to me that Billy was not going to get better. That the friendship he and Charlie once had was in the past. I assumed that Jacob's thoughts turned in that direction and he remained quiet.
"Do you want to come in or something?" I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to ask, but it seemed only polite. I certainly wanted to get to know Jacob better without all the barriers.
"Maybe next time. If I hurry I still might get a goody bag."
"Yeah, wouldn't want you to miss out on that."
"See you on Monday," he called behind me.
I could hardly sleep that night, my mind to hyper and excited over the changing events of the evening. Even more than that was the feelings that came when I saw Jacob or heard him say my name.
Saturday morning I awoke to a bright ray of sun, and it almost seemed unfamiliar. It had rained for the last two weeks without any break. My shift at Newton's went by pretty fast and at lunch time Rachel came by.
"So your old man gave me the night off, and I was wondering if you wanted to come to the rez for a bonfire."
"Bonfire?"
"Yes, Bella. You gather wood, set it on fire."
"I don't really think I should. I always feel like an outsider. I won't know anyone there."
"You'll know me and Paul, and of course Jacob and Cooper," she urged.
The idea seemed more interesting after I heard Jacob's name and surprisingly my stomach filled with nervous knots. After all this time of being alone was I really going down this road?
"I'll pick you up at six," she said leaving me no room to debate and filling me with nervous excitement.
A/N: Thank you for reading, would love you to review and let me know how it's going and what you think might happen.
