Here's an enormous thanks to the following guys that reviewed and made me grin happily: wolverette, Brit-Babe191, I'mYourChemicalRomance, ElizaV, alexmonalisa, soon2Bme and jackmansgrrl (great name and nice profile picture!) Also Glykera, the German, Ragamuffinsundrop, Kirawolf and Puma.

Also a thanks to those adding this fic to their favourites: hunterjumpertwilightfan, I'mYourChemicalRomance and jackmansgrrl.

Oh, and all the chapter titles are Beatles songs because the Beatles rule the world. They really do, at least they rule my world. :D

Rewritten as of - 22/06/2012


I've Got A Feeling

I've got a feeling, a feeling deep inside - The Beatles


"I'm drunk and really drunk." I declare rather unrepentantly because I'm drunk, I'm really drunk. You have no idea just how drunk I am and all I can is I'm drunk and drinks make you drunk.

Tonight has been by far the most fun I have had in days, months, even years. There's no Logan to look at until my eyeballs have been roasted by his sizzling muscles and dangling body parts, I don't need to be embarrassed my breast is bruised by a flying ball and it's all because I'm drunk.

"You don't say, Roguey." Jubilee chirps with amusement, opening the passenger door for me to slide onto the concrete ground face first in a fit of giggles. "Oh and Shh! You're going to wake the whole mansion up."

"Why do you care?" I mutter into the soft, lovely warm texture of the concrete because I'm highly drunk, just drunk on happiness and tequila martinis, tequila slammers, tequila jello shots and everything lathered and drowned in tequila.

"I don't care," She shrugs, paying the driver and appearing surprised when he hurtles his cab away from us at great speeds. She holds her hand out to me. "Wow, what was that about, Chica? He was in a hurry."

"Now I don't care because I'm drunk," I mumble, eventually taking her hand and stumbling to my drunken feet.

"Then I don't care either." Jubilee replies, twirling me around and we both break down into a sea of giggling and hilarity. "You really went for it tonight, Roguey. I swear I died when you fell off the table and kissed the floor like it was Wolvie."

I frown and scowl and frown a little more until I can remember what she's talking about. "No, no, no." I grumble, taking her chin in my hand and shaking her head for her. "That was dancing, Jubie Jubes. I was dancing and when I left the table that was a move that dancers call a dance move."

"Whatever you say, Tequila Queen!" She snorts, removing my hand and leading me along the driveway. "And that was a total Coyote Ugly moment when you were up on the bar and doing that epilepsy parody. You were throwing some wild shapes when you fell over again."

"No, I didn't fall over, it was a dance of sorts because I'm drunk and if I'd fallen over I would know. But dancing is a combination of moves you would be happy to perform in front of your grandparents. What I did tonight was not dancing... Gyrating? Yes, and thrusting, don't you dare forget the thrusting." I ramble slightly, tripping over my own words and my feet.

"Once again, whatever you say," Jubilee sing-songs as I struggle to step inside the mansion without losing a foot. "I also didn't know you could chug Tequila like that."

"I don't know if I like tequila but I drank lots and lots of it tonight." I think out loud tiredly, wandering over to the stairs and beginning to crawl. "But do you think tequila likes me, Jubes?"

"Aw, man. Tequila loves you and your curves, Roguey. She's Logan in disguise."

"I would drink Logan like that, I really would. And I'd chew and lick on him too. I'd do anything and everything with Logan. I want to suck on his parts and make babies with his dangling Yoda."

"I bet you would," She smirks softly, dumping our oodles and odd number of bags to the floor in a bedroom I call my own. "This is your stop, Girlfriend."

I shuffle inside my room and hug the door frame for much needed support. Maybe I overdid it ever so slightly? I swear to my lovely, luscious God I'm seeing three Jubilees as she waves and skips away. I have definitely fallen head over heels in love with tequila tonight. She makes me feel like I could march straight to Logan's room and hop on his ding dong to rock the night away. But alas, I couldn't reach his bedroom without breaking my neck on a plant pot, so I stay put inside my spinning room of drunkenness.

Taking a shaky step or two, I keep eyeing my bed eagerly; of course sleep is the answer because it's always the answer when you have a drunk brain and your ideas involve doing a high sequence of gymnastics to close the distance between yourself and the mattress of love.

Damn it! I never actually make it to my destination and that means tequila loves me a little too much because I'm spread eagle on the carpet with my mouth hanging open and a snore threatening to divide and conquer the mansion at any moment.

"This could work," I tell myself with a gentle sigh and surrender my urgent need for a cosy bed. "I'll sleep here. I can sleep here with tequila breath."

My eyelids slowly drift closed and I exhale sluggishly, and pray to all that's holy and as drunk as I am that I don't spew during my sleep. "I'm drunk and I'll sleep right here."

Suddenly a few word cut through my proposal for sleep like a knife to melted butter. "No, you won't."

My hazy eyes fly open and I spot a beautiful man frowning at me with only a towel wrapped around his waist. Hallelujah, praise the Lord, what a dream! I should really drink tequila more often. "If tequila made dreams, that towel should slip." I whisper heatedly. "Marie I-Can't Pronounce-My-Middle-Name-Right-Now wants to see your junk and I'll look until I'm -" I blink and blink again. "I can't think of anything witty at the moment."

"This ain't a dream and you're that loaded on booze I'd better forget about lightin' a cigar around you. My goddamn fireman outfit ain't arrived yet."

"When it does, will you wear it for me, Logan?" I beg him graciously and focus on memorising every inch of his pleasing to the eye torso.

"You're a hell of a drunk, Darlin'." Logan snorts in slight amusement, his hand travelling over his mutton chops.

"That's perfect, just stand there all night and I won't even ask you what you're doing in my bedroom because that would be rude of me when I'm looking."

"This is my room." He counters gruffly and raises an eyebrow at the look of confusion etched on my face. "You know what that means? My ass sleeps here."

"That's nice." I answer him, clumsily climbing to my knees and struggling to make the transition to my feet. "I think Jubilee forgot what room I kept my ass in."

Logan grunts and watches me with the shake of his handsome head. "Need help 'fore you do yourself some damage?"

"No, no, I'm good. I'm always good. I just need something to hang onto."

For everybody reading this story of passionate woe, I apologise profusely for what I'm about to do. I have no idea what came over me that night and my mouth stumbled further into the pits of embarrassment the longer I stayed in Logan's bedroom.

Let's just say drunken logic is a bitch and so is my mouth! Oh, I'm cringing just thinking about it now. I thought I would never live this moment down, but I almost did. But as long as I'm alive, this speck in time when I'd been beaten about the head by a bottle of tequila was my downfall and Logan's towel's too.

I grumble and grouch, grappling with the nearest object to help haul my drunken bottom to my feet when I almost fall. Suddenly I'm rewarded with a towel in my lap for my efforts and a growled groan of deep pleasure. The towel is damp and I'm hanging onto his –

"Hail Mary mother of Joseph!" I squeal, letting go of the engorged length and staring slack jawed at the slice of feral history. His cock is older than me and my grandparents, which makes it wrinkly for a reason.

Oh God, what would my Sunday school teacher say if she could see me now? No, who cares about that. What would my Mama say?

I kneel there with the overwhelming urge to say something, anything. I need to utter some words of encouragement or slip in an apology somewhere. "Good for you, Logan." I smile, slapping his thigh and nodding my head. "You're one of the boys."

What in hell! What am I saying? I can't congratulate him for having a thing! Right now I need to stop talking. Wait a damn moment; did it just wink at me? He hasn't said anything yet and his penis is winking at me.

Quick, Marie. Say something else before he thinks you've lost your mind and need a straightjacket and a padded cell to call home and high fashion.

"I really thought it would be a lot bigger than that."

No! No, I didn't just slap those words on Logan's snake without even thinking. He growls and I scarper on my hands and knees before he can kick me out his room. I'm going to find a corner to curl up and die in. An ungrateful, brat of a girl like me just doesn't deserve to live when she insults Wolverine's cock.


"Hey, you're up early, Chica. Did you have a fucking frenzied night of ecstasy?" Jubilee questions in a rush, winking at me teasingly.

That wink only serves to remind me of last night and I could easily kill her for doing this to me. "You," I cry in an accusatory tone. "How could you do this to me when I'm supposed to be your best friend?"

"Are you trying to say he turned you down, Rogue? Wait 'til I get my hands on Mr. Trouser Snake! I'm going to rip him apart with my bare hands and feed his withered stump to the X-Men in a cherry pie topped with cream!"

"Logan didn't turn me down, Jubilee! He didn't even get the chance! Oh my God, I bet he's going to hate me after everything I said last night. I think I'm sick in the head." I whisper morosely, tears building in my sleepless eyes.

"No, don't cry, Bestie. Come over here and tell auntie Jubilee all about it." She responds calmly, slurping on her soda and holding out her arm to me.

I wander over to her and sniffle, great tears rolling down my worried cheeks. "It was a disaster from beginning to end." I explain hurriedly, hugging her and wishing the memories would leave my grizzly mind. "You tricked me into thinking that was my room and everything went crazy after that."

"But how come?" Jubilee asks me, rubbing my back. "That should have worked because it was perfect."

"I saw him naked, that's why. And then I couldn't shut up."

"Whoa! His cock should have been bouncing about with happiness, Roguey. He's an ass if he didn't like all those compliments you were giving him."

"That isn't exactly how it played out, Jubes." I sigh and wish everything had skipped along differently. I'm left feeling like I caught the Golden Snitch and then dropped it down Logan's pants only for the energetic ball to cause havoc with his manly parts. "But I looked and loved what I saw."

"I still don't understand." My friend grumbles, pulling away from me. "I want to know what happened!"

"I saw Logan naked. He wasn't wearing any clothes and I was kneeling in front of him." I tell her, my voice low and barely above a whisper.

"You go, Chica! It's only fair you get to see his nuts. He saw your tissue box and jiggling bongo drums and now you've seen each other in the nip!"

"Not so loud!" I hide my flushing face in my hands and I'm utterly ashamed as I work my way up to telling her what happened next. "Jubes, there's a huge problem."

"There's no problem too big for Jubilation Lee." She states boomingly, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Yes, there damn well is and this one is a whopper of biblical sized proportions. You see, I pulled his towel off."

"Roguey!" Jubilee squeals with an explosion of excitement and she hugs me in congratulations. "And I thought Wolvie was the animal. This goes to show it's always the quiet ones you have to watch when you step out the shower."

Still hiding my face, I'm desperate to ask for my friend's help because I don't know what to do now I've messed everything up. My tongue is a stinging nettle housed in a nest of hornets and I wish I had never gotten drunk last night. "I swear it was an accident when I was trying to stand up and then I said something I really shouldn't have. My mind slipped, just like Logan's towel."

"Whatever it was, I'm sure he'll understand. He's the Wolverine." She shrugs, not taking me seriously at all.

"I told him I thought his cock would be a lot bigger than it actually was." I softy utter in a thoroughly ashamed tone of voice and strangle the scream threatening to break. "How is he ever going to understand why I did that? Even I don't understand!"

Jubilee's eyes triple in size. "You did what now, Roguey?"

"I told him I thought it would be bigger!"

She chokes on her soda and laughs herself silly. "You told him you thought it would be bigger? It, as in his manly sized, honking great slab of throbbing feral?"

"Yes," I whimper dismally and begin to sniffle. "And before that I congratulated him for having one and being one of the boys."

"Why was he flaunting it in your face anyway?" She questions, sighing and dropping a blob of gum in her empty soda can.

"He wasn't flaunting anything. He just missed his towel and wanted it back."

"Well, well, well, I totally love this bump in the road." Little Miss Sunshine smirks, bouncing up and down. "I vote for cupcakes!"

My gaze snaps to my hyper friend and I sigh. "What are you talking about cupcakes for?"

"We bake Wolvie loads of cupcakes!" She comments passionately, hopping to the fridge. "I think it's an awesome idea. A few sprinkles and the Sex Machine will forget last night ever happened."

"I insulted his manhood, Jubilee! I don't think a cupcake is going to make him forget. And anyway, Logan's doesn't eat cupcakes. He growls in the face of cupcakes, he says they're for sissies and whipped bitches."

"Huh, well." The Yellow Cupcake Crusader huffs, opening the fridge door and then snapping it closed again. "What about muffins?"

Bang, bang, bang.

That is the sound of my head repeatedly hitting the wall. Please shoot me now and put me out of my misery because this has got to be the worst start to a week I have ever had. My mouth ran away from and so did my common sense. I don't deserve to even be in the same room as Logan, let alone keeping his bed warm as he thunders down upon me with his heavenly cock. All in all, my life sucks right now.