She was wrong. Completely and utterly wrong. She isn't ready for this. Not by a long shot. She's not ready for any of this. She's only twenty-two and only half way through the classes she needs to be a lawyer and she's having a baby. She's having a baby and she doesn't have a job because she spends all her time studying and doesn't have time for a job. She's been putting off having bottom surgery for years and now that dream is even further away. It's been five hours of unpacking and there are still piles of boxes in the corner of the living room, just laughing at her.
Then Clarke walks in.
Green eyes scan the blonde. Lexa takes note of the bags under her eyes from pulling an 18 hour shift. The dark stain on the blue shirt, of vomit or maybe even blood. Blonde hair pulled into a bun instead of the braid it was when she left for work yesterday.
"Hey baby," Clarke sighs, letting her purse drop to the ground and kicking her shoes off.
Lexa doesn't notice her tears until Clarke is cupping her face and wiping them away.
"Hey, hey, hey. Baby, what's wrong?" she questions, blue eyes looking into green.
Lexa opens her mouth and a sob comes out instead of words. Clarke nods as if she completely understands and wraps her arms around the taller girl's neck, pulling her down into a hug. Lexa sobs as her hands wrap about her hips, pulling their bodies closer, feeling the slight swell of Clarke's belly against hers. Clarke hums into Lexa's ear as her hands run through the wild locks as Lexa's tears fall against her neck.
"Come on baby, time for bed," Clarke mumbles, her hand tangling with Lexa's as she leads them to bed.
They don't say a word as they help each other undress. Clarke grabs the bottom of Lexa's shirt, giving it a slight tug and looking into green eyes. Lexa sighs, shaking her head. Clarke nods, raising up to her tiptoes to press a kiss to Lexa's forehead. Lexa grabs Clarke's hips, forcing herself to give her a small smile and tugging on her scrub shirt.
"Lex," Clarke whispers, green eyes snapping to blue, "don't force it for me."
Lexa nods, her hands shake as she pulls off Clarke's scrub top.
"Sit," Lexa whispers, gently guiding Clarke onto the bed.
Lexa drops to her knees before Clarke, sliding her scrub pants off, then the light pink undies. Lexa gently removes Clarke's socks, noting how her feet are bigger than they were a when she put them on. Lexa leans in close and presses a kiss to Clarke's knee, which earns her a hand in her hair and a scratch behind her ear.
"Come here Lex," Clarke whispers, which Lexa obeys quickly, standing and looking down at the seated blonde.
"Lay down," Clarke mumbles, pulling the younger woman into bed with her.
They settle quickly, Lexa on her back. Clarke on her side facing her, an arm draped over Lexa, her hand resting on the valley between her breasts.
"So you wanna tell me what's gotten into that pretty little mind of yours?" Clarke questions, pressing a kiss to the exposed shoulder.
Lexa sighs, looking up at the ceiling.
"I don't do anything Clarke," she whispers, her gaze dropping to her hand on her chest.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean," Lexa sighs, turning to face the blonde, "I mean you have a job as an intern and you spend hours on your feet working to provide for our family and I don't even have a job. I just sit around the house and read books. Even when I try to unpack and spend hours going through boxes there's still a huge pile in our livingroom. And I'm just living here and you're out working. And we have a baby on the way, one that's inside of you, and yet you're on your feet for like eighteen hours or some shit and I'm here alone going through boxes and reading a goddamn book. To top it all off, my surgery isn't even in the realm of possibility now. Don't get me wrong, I am going to love our kid with everything I am, but I don't feel complete yet. And I just, I feel useless. Like I'm not doing anything for our family."
Clarke nods, processing the words as she thinks of a response, her thumb rubbing Lexa's chest.
"First, can I kiss you?" Clarke whispers.
Lexa nods as Clarke leans in, pressing a light kiss to full lips. Lexa sighs into the kiss, allowing the gentle touch to calm her, loving how Clarke's other hand is running through her hair.
"Lexa, you're so wrong. You aren't just sitting at home reading books darling, you know that," Clarke gently brushes her nose against Lexa's, "I know that Lexa. You're studying to be a lawyer. You're going to school to make big money. You'll get thousands of dollars every time you settle a case babe. You know how much that's going to provide for us in the future. You know it Lexa. You're going to make so much money that we can get your surgery. I do not care what happens baby, we are going to get you everything you need, okay? We'll get your surgery before the baby even gets here. We are going to make that happen-"
"Clarke-"
"No. I hate seeing you like this Lex. I want you to love every part of you. I love you, all of you, regardless of anything else. If you want it baby, we can do it. I promise we can make it."
"It's not even that. I just sit here and study. I do nothing."
"Lex, when I left for work there were boxes lining the halls, now the only ones left are in the livingroom. Lexa, there are pictures on the walls! Pictures of us hanging up, something we've never had before. It takes time to move into a place baby, just take a deep breath, okay?"
Lexa nods, accepting Clarke's words and her kiss.
"If you feel so bad about me working, don't. You know I love my job Lexa, right?"
She nods again, this time green eyes connecting with blue.
"I… I've been thinking," she confesses.
Clarke chuckles, "I think that's part of the problem babe."
Lexa rolls her eyes, a smirk playing on her lips, "I was thinking, that maybe I should get a job."
"Lexa, we've talked about this. With all the classes, a job wouldn't be possible," Clarke says.
Lexa nods, rolling to her side, "that's what I've been thinking about. I calculated it, and if I drop a few of my classes, it'd add another semester to the time, but it'd give me extra time to find a part time job until they get here. Then it'd give me time to take care of them after you have to go back to work."
Clarke nods, leaning in and brushing their noses again.
"I support whatever you want to do baby, you don't have to drop any classes, but if it'd make you feel better you can."
"I just… I feel like a freeloader Clarke. A job would help with that."
Clarke nods, pressing a kiss to Lexa's forehead.
"You're not a freeloader Lexa, I promise."
Lexa smiles, feeling the slowness in Clarke's movements, knowing she's tired.
"You should get some sleep baby," Lexa mumbles, pushing some hair out of Clarke's face.
"Can you do me a favor?" Clarke questions, her eyes already closing, ready to give in.
"Already on it," Lexa chuckles, sliding down the bed.
Lexa takes the swollen feet in her hands, gently massaging them until she know's Clarke's asleep.
Clarke wakes up about an hour later, darkness all around and confused as to what woke her. Then she hears Lexa's whispers and feels the girl. Lexa's laying on her side, her head on Clarke's slightly swollen stomach, one hand under the small of her back, holding her, while the other one rubs circles on her tummy.
"I'm getting a job for you my little squid. Your Mommy's going to have to stop working for awhile, so Momma's going to take over. Then we'll switch. You're going to have such a good Mommy squid," Lexa whispers into her tummy.
"They'll have a good Momma too," Clarke mumbles, her hand reaching down to tangle in dark locks.
Lexa smiles, pressing a kiss to her stomach before they both drift off.
