I couldn't help but apologize numerous times to the man in front of me. He was so handsome and I must have looked like a wet puppy. He had to have been waiting for someone, right? A woman, most likely. Or maybe a man. He was beautiful enough to attract everyone and anyone.
I kept trying to figure him out, to find some flaw that would make him a little less attractive. And then he handed me his jacket and his scent enveloped me. It was nice cologne, but it was also him, I could tell.
It wasn't something that I'd normally do, but I relaxed and enjoyed talking to him. We got lost in our own little world, talking about books and passions. We were getting to know one another without going into too many personal details.
And I couldn't find anything wrong with him. The more he talked, the more I wanted to hear. If only I hadn't been so broken…
But I was and there was nowhere this could go. And maybe he didn't even want that. I was fairly certain he had someone in his life. He had to. Men like him always did.
He was confident and well-read, he liked so many of my favorite authors and although he didn't look the part, it sounded like he had a soft-spot for old rock, alternative and punk music.
As we sat together, talking and drinking coffee, I realized I hadn't thought of Bill once. For the first time in what seemed like forever, I completely forgot how much my heart ached.
I had no idea when the rain had stopped, but I realized I had to get home. Staying any longer would be dangerous since I couldn't put my finger on why this man affected me so.
He very kindly walked me to my car and I gave him back his jacket.
When he said that he'd like to see me again I thought I would combust. My heart sank as I realized that I couldn't get him involved in all my mess. I didn't think I was in the right frame of mind to see anyone new and he didn't deserve to have to put me together like I was some sort of broken Humpty Dumpty.
When he mentioned me having someone in my life I immediately looked at where my engagement ring once rested...a ring that was given to me based on lies. My heart ached once more as I remembered why I really couldn't drag him into my life.
I kissed his cheek and said goodbye to him, and to his scent that had enveloped me for the past couple of hours. I drove away and saw him watching as I left. I told myself that if it was meant to be, we'd meet again.
I drifted off to sleep thinking about him, and I woke up...thinking about him.
I could have at least gotten his name, I scolded myself. But then I'd want to look him up right about now and that wasn't exactly ideal. For the next week I went about my life as usual. I went to work in the wee hours of the morning, spent my day at the shop selling products and did a big load of paperwork. Then I would go back to my empty, quiet home.
I didn't mind. I read, thought about new recipes I wanted to try out, and just relaxed.
And thought about the man at the coffee shop.
I found myself thinking less and less about Bill and my heartbreak, and more and more about this man whose name I didn't even know.
It was another Friday evening when I couldn't hold back anymore. I went to the bookshop to get a new book and chat with Tara.
And to pass by Serendipity again. Maybe it was his regular place, maybe he always went there. I hoped, at least.
I wanted to see him again, despite my better judgment. I couldn't say no to him if he asked me out again and that scared me and thrilled me at the same time.
I passed the shop, but didn't see him anywhere. I carried on to my car just knowing that I'd be coming back again soon.
I could think of no other place where I could meet him again and a sense of despair took over. So stupid…
I fell asleep that night wondering if maybe he was looking for me, too.
