Playing music with Kate and enjoying her company had done a lot yesterday to calm Max's nerves. The counselor had encouraged Max to find connections with people where she could, where she felt comfortable. Though much of what they'd discussed had focused on the traumatic events of the week prior, Max had shared some of her other issues, especially her social anxiety. With people she didn't know very well or who made her uncomfortable, Max found it hard to pick the right thing to say. She agonized over her words to the point where it seemed she was ignoring people or spacing out. Needless to say, that only irritated them and made Max more nervous, leading to more hesitancy and awkward silences. None of her relationships exemplified that vicious cycle more than her interactions with Victoria, Max realized. Sometimes Max just wished she could hit a pause button for her life, while she pondered the right dialog option to choose. Sadly, life was not like a video game.
In any case, she'd taken the advice and picked the safest, most easy-to-talk-to person she knew to practice with: Kate. Playing together was pleasant and would have made a nice excuse to be together without talking, but Max made a conscious effort not to take the easy way out. After they'd played a few songs, Max asked if Kate would join her for dinner in the cafeteria, explaining to her friend that she wanted to practice being a normal person. Kate had laughed, chided Max a bit for thinking she wasn't normal, and agreed happily. They found a secluded part of the dining room where they could talk quietly and practiced small talk on each other, as well as beginning to open up about themselves. It had been so long since Max had made a true friend; she'd forgotten how joyful a process it was. By the end of the night, she and Kate had really come to know one another, and Max looked forward to learning more and more about her.
Buoyed by that success, Max had woken up more refreshed than she had in a while. With no morning classes, she could linger in the shower a bit longer than usual and take her time preparing to face the day. She'd pondered the events of the past few days. She deliberately did not dwell on Chloe or the funeral. She knew that she still had a long road ahead dealing with those things, but she also knew she didn't have to try to run down that road all at once or alone. Instead, she decided to focus on the more fun and intriguing developments of the week, specifically, her manicpixiegirlpsychicmysteriousdream journalofportenthopefullynotdoom. Adding more adjectives somehow made it seem less threatening and potentially something fun, or at least helpful.
Sitting at her desk, she took a fresh piece of paper and transcribed the entries from the journal, placing check marks next to the ones about Brooke and Warren and Kate. They weren't anything she hadn't known before finding them. She put a star next to the one about Taylor to indicate that it was new information that had proven true. That left entries about Courtney, Dana, Daniel, Joyce, and Victoria. With a purposeful deep breath, she set the last one aside for the time being. She wasn't ready to open that can of feels, no matter how nice Victoria had been yesterday, or how pretty she'd looked in the late afternoon sun, or how intoxicating her lavender perfume had been, hanging in the air as they'd stood outside the dorms… No! Bad Max! Focus! She blushed recalling yesterday's descent into fantasy. Her legs shifted uncomfortably, and she considered that maybe if she'd finished… No! Double Bad Max!
With great force of will, she gathered herself and got up from the computer desk. She hadn't had breakfast and had some time before her afternoon class, so she decided to kill two birds with one stone (though the thought of dead birds bothered her quite a lot) by going to the Two Whales. Yummy waffles, necessary coffee, and the chance to check in with Joyce and investigate this David business. Nodding her head like a magical girl, she resisted the urge to shout "Hai" as she headed down toward the bus stop, a woman on a mission.
-xxx-
Kate Marsh felt someone tug her arm as she stood by her locker. Turning, she felt her heart race as she saw Taylor Christensen looking at her with an odd expression. "Is something wrong, Taylor?" she asked, mind racing to interpret this odd behavior. By habit, she scanned the hallway to see who else was watching, perhaps waiting to deliver the punchline to a cruel joke, but no one seemed to be paying them any attention.
"Hey Kate," Taylor began, her voice uncharacteristically soft and hesitant, "I just wanted to… you know…"
Kate certainly did not know, so she waited patiently, willing herself to remain calm. Silently, she considered how lucky she was. Just two days ago, she probably couldn't have kept herself this together, but talking to the counselor and especially Max about exactly this kind of thing gave her some confidence. She resolved to exemplify the things they'd talked about: being more confident in her own strength and not shying away from life. She sent a silent prayer of thanks to God for preparing her for this.
"I just wanted to say… well…" Taylor continued stammering. Kate realized suddenly that this is how she must look to people. Knowing that someone as pretty and popular as Taylor could stumble in a conversation lifted her spirits even further.
"It's Ok, Taylor," Kate said gently, laying a hand on her arm. "Take your time." She tried to be as reassuring as she wished people would be with her.
Taylor flashed her a grateful smile and took a breath. "I wanted to apologize. I should have been watching out for you at the party and I shouldn't have been so cruel afterwards. Or before. It was wrong." Her eyes dropped to the ground.
"Thank you," Kate replied simply, smiling kindly at her. "That means a lot, and it's really Ok. None of us is perfect and I've done things I regret too."
"I doubt that," Taylor said, sniffling a little bit, but now smiling as well.
"It's true. For example, I never really thought about how my posters might make people feel," Kate admitted. "My church wanted me to put them up and I didn't give it much thought."
"There's nothing wrong with abstinence."
"No, of course not, but I should have talked to people instead of putting up posters which might make people feel ashamed of themselves," she replied. "It sucks enough being a teenager away at a boarding school, without even more reason to doubt your choices. The message wasn't the problem, I know, but the messenger could have done a better job."
Taylor shook her head, "That's a bit of a reach for things to regret, sister. 'I tried to help people in a sub-optimal way'" she added in a poor imitation of Kate. Before Kate could take offense or get upset, Taylor laughed and hugged her out of the blue. "Friends, maybe?" she said.
"I'd like that," Kate answered, blinking away some moisture from her eyes. "Can I ask what brought this on, though? It's been awhile since all of that and so much has happened since."
"I don't know, really," Taylor replied, giving it some thought. "I guess, well, Max just came up out of nowhere the other day and, like, said some really nice things. And I'd really never been anything other than mean to her. Then, last night, I saw you guys chatting in the dining hall, so I figured maybe I could… pay it forward?"
The mention of Max reminded Kate of something important. Leaning forward so no one else could possibly hear her, she asked, "Speaking of Max, can I ask you something?"
Taylor's eyes lit up at the prospect of fresh gossip, no matter how unusual the source. "Of course," she answered.
"Well, you and Victoria are very close, right?"
"I thought we were talking about Max," Taylor said, confused. "But, yeah, VC and I are super BFFs."
Kate paused, considering what to say. This was really the first time she'd ever talked to Taylor and, though Kate was essentially a trusting soul, she was not stupid. She also had no intention of saying anything which might hurt Max or threaten their friendship. Still, her gut told her that she could maybe help her friend if she proceeded carefully.
"I guess, I was just wondering. Victoria was really nice to Max yesterday, but normally she's kind of mean to her…"
"Kind of?" Taylor interject with a snort, "She's a total bitch to Max, even more than she is with everyone else, and I'm her best friend so I can say that!"
"That's kind of what I was wondering, like why is she mean to her sometimes and so nice other times."
The news that Victoria had been nice to Max came as a bit of a shock to Taylor who paused to process this information. True, when they'd seen Max throwing up yesterday, Victoria had been quite concerned. "She needs help. What she went through was horrible," she'd said with real empathy in her voice. Later, though, at dinner, Victoria had spent almost the entire meal glaring at Max and Kate, barely touching her food. A vague idea began to form and a number of puzzle pieces began to shift into a new alignment.
"Max is your BFF, right?" Taylor asked suddenly.
Kate blushed, but nodded, "I guess so. She's the closest thing I have to a BFF, though we're still kind of getting to know each other."
Taylor nodded and asked the most important question, completely disregarding the fact that she and Kate barely knew each other. "And are you guys more than just friends? Or on the way to being more than just friends?"
She had to suppress a laugh at the way Kate's eyes widened and how her ears turned bright red.
"Nnn..noooo!" she insisted. "I mean, I'm not one of those Christians who think there's something sinful about that kind of relationship, but… well, I just don't think of Max that way."
"Not your type, Marsh?" Taylor asked, noting that she'd denied the specific attraction, not the more general version.
Kate dropped her head and stammered, "No, I guess not. I just don't see her that way and I'm pretty sure she doesn't look at me that way either."
"Good!" Taylor exclaimed. "Come with me! We've got some scheming to do!" Ignoring Kate's yelp of surprise, Taylor took her by the elbow and dragged her off towards the dorms, plans swirling in her mind.
[A/N: This one took kind of a right turn once Taylor and Kate interacted. I'd planned on having each chapter equal a day, but I guess there's no real reason for that. This is a good enough length to post and I like to keep the chapters flowing once I'm on a roll with a story. Next time: Max at the Two Whales, Let's Check In With Some Minor Characters, and maybe a little Victoria PoV (though not committing to that just yet… at some point, but maybe not next chapter.) Thanks for reading! Reviews are the author's lifeblood, so if you have the time and inclination, please leave one!]
