SORRY it's been SOOOOO long! It's been my birthday :) and I have had heaps of homework :( I will try to update more :) loveyouguys!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own twilight!!!! :(

"There is something different… wait don't tell me." I rolled my eyes. Emmett's eyes then went wide. "Did they do this to you?" Emmett said.

"Noooo, I rolled in a pool filled with paint and feathers." I said sarcastically. Emmett nodded.

"Oh okay then, that's a bit stupid."

"I was joking…" I said. Emmett frowned.

"Oh no they didn't" He said with a girls diva voice.

"Oh yes they did!" I replied.

"Oh no they didn't" Emmett repeated.

"Oh yes they did." I replied.

"Oh no they---" Emmett started, Alice interrupted him.

"Emmett I think by now you can tell they did…" She said. Emmett crossed his arms.

"oooohhh it's onnnnn nowww." Emmett said. Alice nodded.

"Damn right it is! The claws are coming out!" Alice said.

Chapter 4

BPOV

"Yeah we gunna kill them bitches." Emmett said. Soulja boy started blaring out. Emmett got up and started dancing. "Aww hell naww they know my dance oh yeahhh." We all looked at him and his phone. He reached in his pocket,

"Ohh I should get that," Emmett said reaching in. "Oh it's Mike" I ran over and grabbed the phone.

"DON'T ANSWER IT I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU ANSWER IT" I warned. Emmett then pressed the green button.

"Oops," He said whislt smiling. I slapped him with as much force as I could get.

"You actually asshole!" I snarled.

EmmettMystery caller (mike) Random stranger

Hello Mr Cullen This is the pizza delivery just to tell you that your order of three hundred tonnes of pizza is coming. Someone that then sounded a lot like Edward talked in the background

Mike I swear to god if you are ringing someone—oh holy banoffee what the mother fudging are you doing?! Hang up that phone. Hang it up now! Mike I swear to god!

I heard faint footsteps, I then heard Mike's voice again.

Hello Mr Cullen sorry, I was chased by…a pizza

Mike he knows it's you!

Shhhhhhh sorry Mr cullen that was the umm pizza

Yeah Mike okay byeee!

How did you know it was me?

Your caller ID

It came up with Mike? Aww mannnnn,

Well it came up with 'Stalker Bella lover' but technically that's you

I hate you! My feelings have been crushed.

I rolled my eyes. "Jeez what does he want! Why the hell did we let him participate in this pointless war?" I said

Is that Bella? Bella my love Bella! I LOVE YOUUU marry me!

Mike yeah, her future husband RIGHT here. Yup

Get over it Edward she loves me!

We then heard in the background footsteps and a slapping noise, the phone then hung up. We all laughed.

"And that is how not to prank call someone!" I said. Everyone nodded in agreement. Let's go start our first prank!

"yeah you still haven't told me…" Jacob said.

"FOR THE LOVE THAT IS HOLY! WE WILL NOW HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF TODAY PLANNING A NEW PRANK!! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW WOLFY?!!" Emmett shouted.

"can't you just tell me the original prank?" Jacob asked. Emmett gasped.

"Oh lordy lordy lordy Bella he did not just say that did he? I know he wouldn't say that?" Emmett said astonished

"Why can't you tell me?" Jacob asked. Emmett's eyes went wide.

"OH HOLY HELL! JACOB GO…GO NOWW!" Emmett shouted. Jacob looked down and walked away. "Dear god that wolf is annoying where does he think you are going? JACOB COME BACK HERE!" Emmett shouted. Jacob soon appeared.

"Here to your service," He said smiling. We all walked out the room and Jake followed. As we started walking something fell out of Emmett's pocket. Being a gentleman Jacob picked it up and was about to give it back but gasped.

"Emmett what the hell is this!" Jacob said astonished. Emmett looked over his shoulder.

"OH it's me and Rosalie's sex postitions" He said.

"No Emmett THIS book," Jake said showing him the book. Emmett breathed in quickly.

"Oh yeah that." Emmett said. We all decided to read it. On the front it was decorated with guns, bomb and knives and in big black letters were

HOW TO KILL JACOB BLACK

We opened it and started reading. It was covered in Emmett's black writing with a pen. It was covered in ideas on how to kill Jacob Black. However on the first page it was why Emmett wanted to kill him we skimmed through some.

He's gay

He's gay

He's gay

He's gay

And He's gay

"Emmett I'm not gay and stating that for pages is not a good reason to kill me!" Jacob debated. Emmett turned the page

"There's more." After a few more 'He's gay' there were more reasons

He is hitting on my sister

He is a horny little boy

He has BADDDD fashion sense

After finishing that page we turned over.

"Emmett this is cutting me deep man," Jacob said. The next page was now HOW to kill him. I got out my pen.

"I might take some tips…" I said Jake gave me the evils I just smiled back.

Get a chainsaw. Slice in half, put in black bag and keep under my bed

A knife and peirce through heart, twist it then yank out…hopefully taking the heart with it.

Blow his head off, start a fire, dance round the fire and eat chicken pieces while watching him burn

Get silver thingy

Jake interrupted us… "Emmett silver doesn't effect me." Emmett shrugged and shut the book.

"that's enough." He declared. Jacob agreed.

"Emmett why are they so brutal?" He asked. Emmett looked at him.

"You're a wolf…I needed to make them a bit more violent…but not too extreme." He answered. We all nodded.

"Not extreme at all…" I said sarcastically.

"Enough chit chat Hurry my peasants we must walk to my lair!" Emmett said. We all looked at him.

"Emmett since when did you have a lair?!" Alice said. Emmett looked at her.

"Girll, now I have told you over and OVER. I stress the OVER in that sentence! Well my lair…which I have! Down this road, round the corner, up the hill, underground, three miles west then turn around and BAM." Emmett said while dancing. "Let's GO THERE!" He said, we all shook our heads.

"No Emmett! We have planning!" Alice said firmly. Emmett's eyes widened. "Oh noo," Alice whispered seeing what will come next. Emmett crumbled to the floor.

"why? I have feelings! It's always Emmett Emmett Emmett! It hurts! I have feelings. It hurts…it really hurts! It saddens me.." Emmett said tearing up. Alice approached him.

"Emmie…" she started but before she could finish Emmett interrupted her

"Don't touch me. My heart it stings. Just leave me alone!" He whined. Alice flinched back. I went in for the hug. Emmett hugged me back

"Emmie puss it's fine!" I reassured.

"I know but it's hard…" He said he then sniffed and rubbed his nose in my jumper. Things to do: Clean jumper… I said making a note to myself"Emmett lets go to your lair then," I said. Emmett smiled and he grabbed me and ran to his lair, it looked like tescos.

"Emmett I'm sure your not aloud to linger around these shops…" I said.

"Ohh no I was just hungry" He said smiling weirdly. We rolled our eyes.

"Emmett for the LAST TIME YOU CAN'T EAT!!!!" we all shouted. Emmett looked down.

"He can't but I can!" Jacob said running in.

5 MINUTES LATER…

He came running out with a microwave, a sheild and a porkchop.

"I have to cook it. I have a weak immune system! And I need protection" we all sighed.

"Jake I somehow think a shield won't protect from what Emmett has planned for you…for example a bomb… yeah that won't work" Alice said.

"Oh let me get something…wait there." Jake said feeling around his body, in his pockets and everything he then just stuck his middle finger up. "Ohh here it is…!" He said smiling. Alice growled.

"Enough chinwagging" Emmett said dragging us to his 'lair' he cover all our eyes – how I have no idea –

"Don't peek," he said cutely.

"We won't" Jacob said sweetly.

"Okay look" Emmett said. I opened my eyes.

"Emmett…this is a random road next to my house…" I said. Emmett glared.

"No it's not…STOP RUINING IT BELLA!" Emmett whined. I felt guilty.

"Oh sorry I mean…where is it? Who knows it's like Narnia…is it france? Spain? No one knows!" I said. Emmett then smiled.

"we shall sit here on the pavement and plan our prank!" Emmett said running and sitting on the pavement. "See that!" He said pointing, "That's my fire breathing dragon.

"Emmett...that's a mouse choking on a cashew nut..." Alice said. we all sat down.

"We look like right hobo's" I muttered.

EPOV

We had all planned our prank and had started making our way to Eric's team lair to pull the prank.

"Ooooh I'm vibrating…" I said shocked, everyone looked at me.

"Edward, that's not normal…" Mike said. I looked at him.

"Really ooooh… I didn't know that. I thought people vibrate every now and again!" I said sarcastically. Mike didn't catch the sarcasm

"Some people do I guess when the use a dild------ I mean um nothing well obviousl—shut up mike okay yeah um oh dear lord!!!! Ahhh monkeys" Mike said. We all gave him weird looks, he lowered his head.

"So I will check my text that I just got…" I said looking at my phone.

From: Sir Woofsalot (Jakey Poops)

Ohh I love being with Bella ;)

I snarled and quickly text back.

To: Sir Woofsalot (Jakey Poops)

Touch her your DEAD :)

I soon got a reply.

From: Sir Woofsalot (Jakey Poops)

Oops too late… :)

I text him back

To: Sir Woofsalot (Jakey Poops)

Don't be jealous but think I am in her room ALL night long ;)

I then drifted off thinking what I SHOULD do- no Edward Anthony Masen Cullen clean thoughts! Mike's thoughts then interrupted me

Bella ohh she is too sexy… but not as sexy as Miss Letry! She is fine! She is looking good for a 87 year old! I'd tap that. Why is Edward looking at me…ohhh I lurveeee him. Mike

Jacob then text me back.

From: Sir Woofsalot (Jakey Poops)

Ohh Bella just saw the message! Shame I was just WAVING the text in her faceee… she seems a bit angry I might COMFORT HER

I sent him back 3 simple words

To: Sir Woofsalot (Jakey Poops)

Go fuck yourself

He then text back much to my annoyance.

From: Sir Woofsalot (Jakey Poops)

Oh that's Bella's job ;)

With that I slid my phone back in my pocket.

"oooh we are here." Aro said speedily walking towards the door of Eric's house. The door was surprisingly open, I then realised why, there was a bucket of water on the door.

"Uglyness before prettiness," I said to Mike. Mike looked at me weird and then walked in

*SPLASH*

"Ohh …watch out for the water…" I said smiling Mike gritted his teeth.

"You saw and let me go first?" Mike said upset. I nodded.

"You don't know how long it takes me to get my hair done in the mornings…!" As soon as I said that we were all grabbed and shoved in a chair and tied at high speeds. We all opened our eyes and we were tied to chairs.

"Yay I knew we were first to pull the first prank!" A voice said. I looked around it was Rosalie, Jessica, Renee, Charlie.

"Now Edward and co-" Rosalie started but Mike interrupted.

"CO?! We are called flipping co?! we have names! Michael Newton!!!!!! Don't call me Co!" Mike protested.

"Okay Edward, Mike and co." Rosalie started Aro and Carlisle coughed. "would you like cough medicine for that?" Rosalie snarled. Aro and Carlisle snarled back.

"SOOOOOOO we will give you a makeover you pretty boys!" Jessica said while smiling.

"Greatt I can now cancel my make up appointment!!" mike said. Everyone looked at him. "What…" We all ignored him.

"Renee, Charlie. I am going out with your daughter have some pity please" I begged. Charlie smiled

"Your probably gunna get my daughter pregnant soon…don't think of that as an ok! But still she probably is…we need our fun!" He approached me with lipstick and a make up bag. Oh crap. I thought. They approached all of us.

"I swear to god. If you put too much foundation on me!I just hate lines…make it even" Mike threatened. Jessica smiled.

"I will try." She said as she shoved a bucket of flour over Mike. Mike squealed.

OKAY SO TRUST ME NOT EVERY PRANK WILL BE LIKE THIS FACE TO FACE! MOST WILL BE LIKE SILLY ONES (y) PLESE REVIEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW PROPEER PRANKS STARTING FOR DEFO NEXT CHAPPY!

GIVE ME PRANKS! NO PRANKS NO UPDATES!!!!

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NEXT UPDATE 10TH NOVEMBER. WANT ANY SOONER? REVIEW AND ASK OR PM ME :) I DON'T MIND DON'T THINK YOU ARE BEING RUDE!!!!